Chapter 10 - Parenting

Colby has snuck a girl into the house. He must have thought I wasn't coming home tonight.

"I'll drive you home," I say, giving them no choice in arguing back. They stay silent, Colby humiliated his date was ruined. He doesn't have the nerve to start a fight with me in front of her.

I drive her home and learn her name is Tamara and that she is three years older than him. She promises they were just friends hanging out despite me catching her in his arms. I do not believe in getting angry at kids even though I'm bothered by her choice in younger guys. She reminds me too much of myself at her age.

Once I arrive home, my son is nowhere to be found. Not one to play this absurd game, I walk to the phone to call the police. It is 12:25a.m. He is of no age to be out this long past curfew.

"Mom?" Addison appears at the doorframe of the kitchen. "Colby told me he's not coming back."

"Do you know where he went?"

She shakes her head. "He left on his bike."

"Go back to bed." I tell her. "I'm calling the police. Don't you ever do what he's doing. He is in so much trouble."

An hour later, my son is brought home via cop cruiser. He was found at the skate park drinking with friends. I ground him immediately, saying he is not to use the computer for two weeks.

"And if you ever sneak out again I am putting you in a group home where you can enjoy being surrounded by maggots who drag you down in the comfort of your home. That'll teach you."

My son says nothing as he closes the door to his room. He groans once he's noticed I've removed his phone and laptop from his bedside table along with any other electronic devices. No one sneaks out on me like that; no one risks their safety under my roof.

I spend the next couple hours watching TV. The sun is rising by the time I look out the window.for for the first time this morning. I must have been fallen asleep while watching the marathon of soaps all night; I have no memory of checking the clock.

I go downstairs to find the kids getting ready for school. It is 7:20a.m. and the sun shines through the kitchen window. I make sure they have everything taken care of before I disappear back upstairs.

Parenting was something Robert excelled at. I've always felt a distance from my children, an inability to entirely connect with them. I love them dearly. I always will. Their vapidity, however, gets under my skin.

Once they've both disappeared out the door, I sit on the couch and try to remember every detail of getting plowed the night before.

I don't realize how deeply I've fallen until I remember the look in his eyes all times our eyes met during the fuck session.

Endearing. Serious. Sexy.

My heart rate picks up.

Amidst our sizzling hot sex I did end up lifting him with my thighs shut. He weighed in at a significantly heavier weight given his muscle mass but I managed to keep him in the air for the whole time in missionary.

I take my birth control. Three of them, to be exact, in hopes of terminating whatever I may have created.

Richard calls. I let him leave a message as I'm feeling too hungover for other plans. Even though I sense he just wanted to talk, I'm dedicating today to myself. It will be only so long until I go cohabitant with my ways again.