IceSnowball
Please do take into consideration that this review was given at a time were only three chapters were made public. I was unable to get a complete characterisation of the protagonist, yet this is to be expected, seeing there are only three chapters out at the moment. I do believe the story would benefit of it if we were sooner presented with a more overall idea of her personality. The writing quality could use some polishing but is overall very clear and easily understandable. It is truly a relaxing read. May I give you a hint? It is merely meant to aid you, I apologise if you find it to be uncalled for; It might be beneficial to describe more, meaning you don’t have to rely on simple wording at all times. For example; A very expensive looking car. Instead of writing the above sentence, try to describe the car to us. This doesn’t have to be written in an extremely flamboyant manner, but it would contribute to your story and your reader’s imagination. It is often said as; ‘show, don’t tell’. I believe your work to have potential, I enjoyed the small part I was already able to read and I hope to see you evolve. I wish you all the best, have a wonderful time writing your story.
No wonder the novel is thought out and interesting. The author is not a newbie. You get the quality, interesting plot, and the chapters are of decent length. The author doesn't throw romance at you from the 1st chapter. After those 9 chaps. You have no clue whether she will find interest in one guy or another. The tie in with the mafia? Perfect mate. Recommend this. As it's worth to be read.
Great story so far and I cannot comment much other than from what I’ve seen. I do like that we see from character building and world setting. Writing quality: Great, not perfect. I do agree with someone that commented that can use more descriptive words and such: Updating: can’t tell yet since it just started but hope author keeps frequent updates. Story, character, and world development are great and nothing else comment form me. Good luck with the future updates author!!! Great read and look forward for more.
A bit early to review, but I'll do so anyway. From the first chapter, I can already tell that the author is going to be good at using cliffhangers. *cough* So far, there have not been any mistakes that I've spotted, and the writing is clear and concise. Even in the dialogue spoken, it is clear who is speaking and who isn't. The author is able to accurately give a picture of the world building even in the first chapter, and the plot is already advancing. Keep up the good work, author! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
Well the writing quality is good. Easily understandable and the dialogues between characters are good too. Since it is the first chapter, lets not talk about updating stability or anything else. But you should put the ML's thoughts in single inverted commas - '...' It will help readers understand where the ml is thinking and where the flow is ongoing. The first chapter is a good one. Hope you continue it! And good luck