Chapter 13: Forgiveness

"Haya! come here." my mom called out to me.

What did I do this time? I have to get out of here before I lose my mind. This place is toxic for me and although I try as much as I can to justify my parent's actions, it is time I accept that family can be bad for you too. I just need some time away from them to figure things out on my own.

I am scared that things might not go my way and maybe I will not even be able to prove my parents wrong. What I have learned during high school is that it is normal to be nervous and to think the worst out of a situation before you even give it a try but when you finally give it your all everything ends up going your way.

"Haya! I called you!" my mom's frustrated yell brought me back to reality.

"I am sorry mom, I am coming right now!" I replied feeling embarrassed that my mom called me and I almost forgot I was summoned by her.

"Yes?" I said sitting down on the couch opposite the one my parents sat on.

"Your father and I have something to tell you before you go to Cape Town." my mom said turning to look at my father who looked shocked by my mom's statement. My dad stood up to leaving the sitting room, my mom immediately stood up and caught his hand stopping him from walking away.

"Let me go." my dad said in his usual I am getting annoyed tone.

"No, I am not going to let you go. This is our daughter! I gave birth to her and we both decided to raise her in a beautiful welcoming home. We have made choices for her all her life, she just stood there and let us take control of who she was becoming. Our daughter is finally trying to understand herself on her terms and then we are not going to support her all of a sudden? I know you care about her and you only want what is best for her. What if what is best for her is what you are denying her to have? huh?" my mom said. I do not think I have ever seen my mom stand up to my dad so much. It is like she finally sees that what he is doing to me is not healthy for our family neither her daughter.

"Haya, why did you have to turn out like me? My daughter the road you are taking is not easy dear! It is full of discrimination and never really being understood by your audience. I used to scream through my art pieces, lyrics, and poems. I would rap, sing and read but I would still feel misunderstood. Are you not scared to get criticized while doing something that you love?" my dad sat down next to me with tears dripping down his chicks.

"People only criticize you when they see you doing great and progressing. I can not live my life scared of what people are going to say forever. I need to get out there and experience the world for what it truly is, I need to grow up and fight for myself the same way you guys fought for yourselves. Please just trust me, give me your unconditional love and support me, dad." I replied. My dad opened his arms to me and I gave him a big hug. My mom came in and joined us.

This is all I have been crying to have, an understanding loving family because at the end of the day the career I am choosing to pursue is not easy if your foundation is not built properly. I just needed my parents to finish the puzzle.

Now the sky can not be the limit, I am shooting right at the moon. Funny how I was just saying that my home is toxic and I need to leave as soon as possible but now because of a simple heartfelt conversation with my parents I feel happy that I am in this house with them right now.

Everything went well that evening, we all had dinner together. My mom and dad shared stories about how I used to love singing when I was only a toddler. We were all laughing and there was just nowhere I would rather be. I am really happy everything with my parents is getting better now. It is not all squashed, they must show me that they have my back from now on. We all went to our bedrooms after playing for 30 seconds together.

I finally have some time to myself, let me scroll through my fake Instagram account before I go to sleep. When I opened Instagram, @zaied.jacobs had posted a story update. I wonder how long it has been on here, I do not want to be one of the first people to view it. Fuck it! I am viewing his story update shit! he posted it 2 minutes ago. He is surely going to see that I viewed his story I hope he does not blow it out of proportion. I mean we are following each other after all, it is nothing weird for me to view anything he posts.

You are so hot @zaied.jacobs, I just wish you were not so older than me. I said to myself looking at the video of himself that he just posted on his story.

I want to apologize to you so bad, I want to start over. I do not care how old you are. I mean I can not let an opportunity to get to know someone like you pass you are all I want in a man. You have this I am the boss aura and its rust makes me want to take off your expensive clothes.

Your account looks well taken care of also, nothing shady seems to be going on. Are you good or bad is the most important question I want to ask you. I already have an idea but I want to convince myself that I have good enough reasons to talk to you because I do not want to feel guilty.