Chapter 12: Questions

It was fun driving to my house with Ruby's mom. I honestly enjoyed my stay at her house it opened my eyes. Family is meeting each other halfway and if mine has not been treating me fairly then I should speak up, show them how I would like to be treated as their daughter because I love them. I did not choose them but I am stuck with them forever, family is family, and making the best out of having them in my life is better than staying mad at them.

"You can get in and greet my family Ruby's mom," I said inviting Ruby's mom to come with me inside the house. She has always been awkward when it comes to being around my family and I honestly understand.

"Yes, dear! I am still checking where my phone is, I am right behind you go ahead." she lied. I giggled and got into the house.

"Mom and dad I am home. Ruby's mom is coming, she just dropped me off." I said.

"Hey Haya, it is good you are back." my mom replied but my dad stayed quiet. I thought he would have calmed down by now but it seems he is really mad but that is going to be over soon.

"Greetings Haya's beautiful family." Ruby's mom greeted her with a smile.

"Greetings." my mom said standing up to shake Ruby's mom's hand.

"Greetings. You can take a seat." my dad did the same.

"So has Ruby made it to Paris?" my mom asked trying to make small talk. I have the most awkward antisocial parents.

"Not yet a few more hours left and she will finally be there." Ruby's mom replied and her body language showed how much she is feeling shy around my folks. It is so funny to see another parent being so affected by my parent's presence. It shows that I am honestly not the only one avoiding them.

"That is nice, what is she going to study there?" my dad asked and I already hate where this conversation is going.

"Medical Science." Ruby's mom slightly turning to give me a comforting glance and it is honestly okay for her to say it out loud with a lot of pride because I am proud of my best friend.

"At least she wants an honorable future." my dad replied trying to make me feel bad by comparing me with someone else. Comparison is the biggest reason why people end up giving up on their dreams, it is because their loved ones make them feel not good enough.

"Well every child is different, some were created to live the life most families are already familiar with and some were created to live a life not many families get to experience. We should not shy away from an opportunity for change because, at the end of the day, we are all different." Ruby's mom replied.

"Yes indeed that is true." my mom replied. I turn to look at my dad and he looked like he had just seen a ghost. I saw that he felt bad but he had so much pride inside of him that he did not want to be proved wrong. I could see that deep down he still believes the way he has raised me is the right way and it is just not.

"I had better leave it is getting dark outside and I still have to drive a long way. I leave your family in utter peace and joy. Haya I am wishing you an amazing trip and many new experiences in Cape Town. Enjoy yourself, my dear, this time will not be here forever." Ruby's mom said standing me up to hug me.

"Thank you and I will," I replied pulling away from the hug. I looked over at my parents and I could see that they felt nothing but embarrassment and defeat. It was nice to show them that other parents are more open-minded to things than they are.

I walked Ruby's mom out then I decided to go to my room and leave my parents be. After what my dad said I do not think they will ever understand the way I truly am. I have been screaming, shouting! just trying to let them know that I am in pain but they do not seem to notice me. They keep feeding on their meaningless pride instead of putting their daughter first.

My soul is worn out, all I need is their love and support. I can have everything I want, amazing friends, and successful life but not having them there for me will make all those things useless because they brought me here. They taught me each and everything I know. How could I just leave them behind? I do not know what to do to make them understand how much I love them. My parents will forever be those two human beings I look up to, they have never turned their backs on me all my life. It is only now that I am experiencing their hard love but what if I am the rebellious one? what if they are right? what if I will regret this journey I am about to partake?

I only have questions! no answers. Sometimes maybe all we need to reach our full potential is answers from our loved ones but we are always scared as if those are not the ones who gave birth to us. I guess we will never know if we do not ever gather the courage to pour our hearts out to those we are stuck with forever.

Let me take my diary and write something. I express myself through my words and if you still do not understand what I am trying to say then you can never understand who I am. I will just leave them this letter the day I leave for Cape town, I will give them time to think about my decisions and my choices. I hope they try to see the version the way I do, their support is honestly all I need.