Chapter 74 : Lesson Of A Lifetime.

The air delivered the scent of damp soil that freshened one's lungs. Doubled with the cold temperature, it worked wonders to cool my flaring temperament down.

"Shepherd. Let's be real. How vital is this man to us? Sending me alone to find him aside, I just don't get what's all this fuss about...I think you're being too unreasonable." Began Clara out of the blue after the three of us sat.

"Insolent!" Renata trembled in rage, her hand almost reaching out to her dagger in reflex.

Far from backing down, Clara snapped back at Renata boldly. "Everyone can tell how crazy you are at worshipping him, but I know even you think this is too much, Assassin. Don't take me for a fool!" 

'Yeah, come to think of it. Renata even said the same thing back then...'

Seeing my lack of response, Clara ranted her heart out.

"Starting from pushing Merchant with the funds, then pulling some shitty play with Paladin, and now, we've moved all the Shadows we have just for this. Do you even realize that we're basically leaving Merchant to fend for herself right after putting her right behind the enemy's line, Shepherd? We're lucky none of the greedy nobles or her adversaries noticed something amiss. But if they do, then that's on you."

Clara's words stabbed me hard. It was sudden, and I couldn't even find the words to refute her, nor the spirit.

"Don't even think of stopping me, Assassin! He clearly needs to hear this. And if you can't do it, by all means, leave it to me." Clara glared at Renata with bloodshot eyes. "I've been hoping for Paladin, or at least that scrawny old man by his side, to make you realize how reckless this is. But to think I've been placing my hope in those two hermits that know jack-shit for the outside world...I'm the idiot here..."

I thought she had been angry with Renata due to their periodic spat when exchanging letters regarding the situation, but apparently, Clara's dissatisfaction towards me was far deeper and more evident than that and judging by the devoid of reactions from Renata, Clara seemed to be on point.

Seeing me looking at her quietly, she drew a deep and long breath to calm her raging nerves.

Then, she took off her mask without breaking eye contact.

"Tell me, Shepherd. Are we playing home here? You told all of us that we're going to save the world. We are the Seatholders of the House of Light and Darkness. We are the only ones who were allowed to sit at the Council and talk with you as your equal, are we not?"

Unknown emotions surged out from the reflection of Clara's black irises.

"Tell me, Shepherd. Make it clear this time around. What are we? Your minions? If so, then be damn with this shitty mask. And don't you fuck with me, thinking that I'm doing all this because of my pride or ego. I am not. And you know I am not, Shepherd." Spat Clara sharp and grim.

I closed my eyes tight, trying to arrange my scattered thoughts.

"How many shadows have Merchant sent away for this, Assassin?" I asked, feeling the foreign yet somehow familiar feeling wrenching my gut from deep within.

"...Merchant has sent every Shadow under her, Milord." Fessed Renata meekly.

"Ha...Fuck..." And I cussed softly.

I was furious...Furious at Renata but mostly at myself.

Surprised by the remark that came out of my lips, Clara flinched back in response.

She seemed like a general who was out for blood and knew no fear seconds ago, but it was visible that her soul still harbored some fear of me.

"Assassin. I am not a genius. And for some fucked up reasons, I can't even make myself a genius, nor do I want to, to be honest. That's why I asked you to help me? To be my right hand."

Renata cowered in dread, trembling as she swallowed droves of piercing words. It was unfair and misdirected, but I couldn't stop...

"Let me tell you this again. I had no beef with you acting like a damn cult leader. It's annoying at best, but it's something I can put up with. But for your sake and mine...You better take that fucking blindfold off your head if you want to work with me from now on. Do you understand me, Renata?"

I called her name.

"...By your will, Milord..." Replied Renata. A drop of blood trickled down from the edge of her lips into the ground as she bit them hard.

Taking my eyes away from Renata, I exhaled feebly, trying to make do with the gnawing frustration.

"I know I am being petty and unreasonable...I am the one being stupid, and yet I blame others for my mistake...But that's exactly why all of you are here. I'm not trying to play home with anybody. If you think I was wrong, then fucking tell me! Argue with me and swear at me if you think I've lost my goddamn mind!! Help me find another way instead of quietly letting me indulge in my stubbornness. I am not a perfect son of a bitch, but damn it, I'll fucking grow! I'll be better!"

"...We don't have time for either of you to be considerate of my flaws...Tell me, and I'll fix it. That's all I ask..."

Silence dawned on us.

"That man Helios is someone who'll murder hundreds of thousands of people in the future...Bad or good, it doesn't matter for him. Fortunately for us, maybe he is still salvageable at this point, but I need to check with my own eyes. But if he isn't...then we need to eliminate him, Spy. So, yes. he is worth all this trouble...But no more than Merchant's life..."

My tone softened toward the end.

An awkward pause lingered quietly for a moment between us. Amidst that, Clara picked up her mask and donned it once again without sparring another word.

Slash!

And then it happened all of a sudden. A finger...A pinky drenched in blood fell dull into the dusty ground.

'The fuck!?' My eyes widen in shock, paralyzed with incredulity.

"Motherfucker!! What are you doing, you crazy bitch!?" Hissed Clara at Renata, who had severed her own finger without so much of a cry.

She looked me straight in the eyes and spoke with her blood trickling down as if nothing happened. Not even the pain...

"I've been a foolish subject, Milord. A lesson learned in blood is a lesson of a lifetime. From this day onward, this missing finger will serve as a reminder of the error of my past..."

It was brutal and nuts, but that's how Renata had always been. In some sick and twisted way, I could actually tell how sincere she was. And it had brought about an immense guilt that rest deep in my heart. 

'A lesson learned in blood is a lesson of a lifetime...' 

My fists were trembling feebly under the armor. "I am sorry..."

"M-Milord. I am unworthy of such words!" She banged her head hard on the ground, refusing to even treat her wound. 

'Damn it...damn me...' I would love to take a breather and sort my turbid thoughts there, but to my dismay, we didn't have the time to do so.

"Stand up, Assassin. Shadow, treat her wound...Now...before we move on, send back three elites, each with small teams to Merchant." I ordered.

After a short discussion with Renata, who was having her hand treated, the three chosen elites exited the barn, making their way to Merchant along with their squads.

"What's the play?" I asked when the air settled down once again.

Clara hinted toward one of the Shadows to bring a map before proceeding to start the briefing.

"As you can see, these markings show the possible location of the slaver's den. Looking at the landscapes, the trails, and the whispers from the townspeople, the spots feel like the places where those bastards most likely holed themselves up like the fucking goblins they are. But even I think they're too all over the place." Explained Clara.

"Even if we find people in one of these areas, they can very well be a group of washed-up bandits or, worse yet, a dud altogether. And the thing with these people is, once they get a wind that we're coming, they'll scatter away like roaches before we know it, making it all the more difficult." Added Renata calmly, with her hand bandaged neatly.

I shook my head and stated. "There's no need to play the guessing game. I've picked up Helios's trail."

"Are you sure, Shepherd?" Asked Clara doubtfully.

I hummed cordially. "Being this close, it is easier to make my way around the disturbance that protects him. If we doublecross it with your map, finding his tracks should've been easy."

"Then, I'll fly with you for a more accurate reading." Suggested Clara.

"Hm...What do you think, Assassin?" I asked Renata.

"If we have a clear idea of his whereabouts, it will be better to move inside with the Elites. Since our mission is to secure our target, it is better to do it more covertly, Milord."

"...Alright, sounds like a plan...Just to be sure, let's have the Shadows cast a wide net outside the marked place while we're at it in case they try to escape." I concluded.