5 Reality check

Here I am standing on a Platform Nine and Three-Quarters (Platform 9¾) platform to board the train to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to attend school.

We arrived early, considering the train's departure was around at 11:00.

That last year has been the most depressing year of my life. Ever since my failure to cast Legilimens on Amelia, which she considered accidental magic. It made her think I have been angry at her since she had spent too much time in her office these past years.

So She desperately tried to amend our relationship as mother and son before my departure to Hogwarts, hence she started to spend more time with us last year.

This made it hard for me to practice and experiment magic with her around.

She has thought it is her fault since she was spending way too much time in her office, so she was desperate. She tried to bribe us with sweats and a good deal of stuff and bought many things we wanted. Well, it mostly worked on Susan, she is only eleven after all.

But I, however, had an adult mindset and I long since accustomed to spending time on my own. So It only made me push her away when she barged into my personal space. It also made her think I began to hate her, for not being there for me. Which in turn made her more desperate.

The more desperate she becomes, the easier it becomes for me to manipulate her. At first, there is something inside me against the idea of manipulating her, maybe it is my long-dead consciousness.

Well, she is my mother after all who gave birth to me. I still have a hard time adjusting to it because I already lived through one life, though I may not remember much about it, I know that I grew in a loving family. and my adult mindset also made it harder to accepts her.

but I am grateful to her for providing me with a roof and food, and taking good care all these years.

I don't know what it was, but when I thought about the benefits, I can get from her, and it's not like I am causing her any harm, those voices began to fade away.

If it was before that I asked her to train me, using magic she would have surely denied it even if I asked with puppy eyes which I hate using it.

But now, she readily agreed to my demand

Thus, she began to train my magic, not like the experiments which I do on my own

She thought of some basic spells which I have used wrongly for some time.

She became very enthusiastic when she found I can learn very quickly whatever she taught me.

She also helped me much in my studies since she also graduated from Hogwarts

And it turns out her speciality lies in Potions and Herbology. Whenever I asked something about anything she would do her utmost to satisfy my curiosity. Like the time she helped me in casting enhancement charm in my robes even though it is illegal using without ministries permissions.

Now that I am going to Hogwarts which will result in me staying there for seven years, I can only visit her during summer and winter holidays. She is hugging me and Susan crying all-day.

" Now don't start crying again Mother, it's only four months and it will be over in flash and I will be visiting in no time" I started to console her.

"I know that. But I will always miss you at home, Jason" and she started to cry

Man, she started to annoy me all over again. It's already been a week since she started to become like this. Now I need to stop her before she does something.

"Hey Mom, I need to board the train early to make some friends" as I said I went forward to pick my and Susan's luggage.

"Don't forget to write me a letter every day Jason" she threatened me with a tear-filled eye.

"Yeah, I will write to you when I have free time, okay" as I pulled Susan's hand with me to board the train. Susan followed me reluctantly into the train.

After we entered the train I found an empty compartment and put down our luggage and sat down on the seat. Susan sat across me and looked at me worriedly.

"What"

"You don't need to pull me like that and now I haven't said my goodbye to aunt amelia"

"She been doing it all over the week, and convincing us to stay home with her, and if I didn't pull you over she would have pulled us to go home with her"

"But we just left her on the platform just like that" she kept looking over the window to find Amelia outside.

"She's a grown woman, Susan, she can take care of herself," I said to her with an annoyed look on my face.

When we are conversing our compartment door opens, Hannah Abbott enters with a smile. Susan and Hannah became best friends over the years.

"Hello there, Susan, and Jason" as she greeted us, and she sat with Susan across from me.

" How are you doing Ms Abbott ?"

"How many times I've told you, Jason, just call me Hannah like Susan. I am lucky today, the first compartment door I opened and I found you guys here" she said happily and began to converse with Susan.

Seeing these conversing happily with each other, I took a book from my pocket and began reading it.

After a while when I looked outside the window, there, he was, walking along with Molly Weasley. The protagonist, Harry James, potter in the flesh and blood walking towards the train.

I have a very complicated feeling about Harry potter. I watched the movie when I was a kid. I was very much fascinated, seeing young Harry potter adventuring into the Wizarding World, and watching him grow stronger against all odds, fighting the dark load and saving the world which gave me some hope as a kid.

When I re-watched the movies in my later years, that's when I realized why the franchise has been a huge success at that time. The movie always portrayed it like this: a pitiful child, thrown into the Wizarding World, with no one to trust, manipulated at every corner, struggling to grow into an adult and in the process saving the Wizarding world from the dark lord.

And it is my fault that I failed to comprehend it as a kid as it was very difficult to process it. All I saw was rainbows and unicorn

Now that I am living in this world, sometimes, I used to wonder about what am I going to do after joining Hogwarts? I always pushed the question aside in the back of my mind.

Now that I'm sitting on the train to Hogwarts it's time to decide what I am going to do after joining Hogwarts?.

I could befriend Harry Potter and help him defeat the dark lord, but that would put me under everyone's radar or maybe I could help him silently without raising anyone suspicions.

No matter how I think about it, I always wanted to help Harry Potter, in his struggling conquest. Or is it my adult mindset that I wanted to help a struggling pitiful child?

As I was thinking about it, Harry Potter got into the train, when I sensed his magical presence, all I felt was rage, unbridled rage upon the unfairness of the world.

Here I was working my ass off every fucking day all these years, constantly improving myself to grow stronger and improving my magical reserves at every given opportunity.

And here in front of me was a guy who lived inside a cabinet, who was even afraid to look others in the eye, who didn't even know about the magic and magical community before a month ago, and yet he has a magical reserve that is at least twice as large as mine.

What kind of shitty logic is this? Is this protagonist halo? That made him stronger without any practice.

I came around many heirs of prominent families and sensed their magical reserves,

And I always prided myself for having two to three times of their magical reserves.and it also motivates me in getting stronger as my hard work has paid off.

Even when I think about befriending Harry potter, it wasn't the relationship of the equal, where I will be the one superior every way psychologically, emotionally, and magically. Why? I have been given a second chance to live my life and I wanted to live a better life, better than everyone and I worked very hard to make one. I always wanted to be the protagonist which I dreamt of as a child, and in this world, I can be the one with my hard work.

But when I look into him not only he is magically superior to me, he is the fucking protagonist, and he got fucking plot armour, he can do anything. He beat the dark lord when he was a child.

Compared to him the only advantage I had was knowing the events of the next seven years, but here I was living my life in a delusion, thinking I am the protagonist with my false sense of superiority.

How naive was I? Living life, thinking, as if I was the protagonist, and discreetly looking down on others, and even on the real protagonist himself. Fortunately, I realized the fact sooner than later, I'm just another normal guy, I wasn't even in the story.

Now that I thought about my naive thinking about befriending him and helping him to grow stronger. I started to laugh like a maniac.