8 To marry would be folly

A deafening racket of hooting resounded in a frightful cacophony. In a room with questionable ventilation and a floor that no one has seen since the last century, Dudley was standing with his eyes half closed as is his usual habit. The young boy seemed to be meditating on life's choices and their importance in everyone's future. Like the choice of following his cousin to a store selling owls. Because yes, Dudley found himself in the middle of a flock of owls, colored and plucked from all walks of life.

While passing by the "Eeylops Owl Emporium" store, a shop selling owls for the mail, Hagrid had the idea of offering one for Harry's birthday, to Harry's delight despite his shyness. And for some reason, Dudley had the idea of following them, curious to see the famous birds. This experience at least had the merit for Dudley to teach him something, avoid ending up in a room full of owls. Hagrid and Harry were at the store counter, a beautiful white owl slightly spotted with small black spots in front of them and ready to be given to Harry.

"Thank you Hagrid! It'is the best gift I ever receive in my life!" said Harry thanking the giant.

The giant beamed and patted Harry's shoulder warmly before picking up the owl locked in a steel cage. Hagrid walked towards the exit followed by Harry but first stopped beside Dudley.

"And yeh great chump, don't yeh want an owl?" he asked.

"I think I am more a cat person'" said Dudley nonchalantly, his eyes still half-closed.

"You are?" said Harry surprised

Dudley skillfully ignored his cousin's remark and made his way out, but it was at that moment that his mother entered the store pinching her nose.

"What are you doing here?" asked Dudley.

"I'm going to buy an owl," she said.

"You will? I mean… Why do you want an owl?" asked Dudley once again, a bit confused.

"We need an owl to send you mail. It's the only way to exchange letters."

"Really? They don't have phones?" exclaimed Dudley, more surprised.

"They don't..." she answered bitterly.

Petunia went ahead of her son and stood in front of the store counter where a young salesman dressed in a green apron smiled at her with his peculiar white teeth.

"I need an owl," Petunia simply said.

"We have exactly what you want! We have brown owls, barn owls, scratchy owls, sno…

"I just need a quiet owl. A tiny, very silent and easy-caring owl." chopped Petunia, desperately.

"I understand, Miss! I'll be right back." the seller said, unfazed, and going away.

Ten minute later, a giant, a thin lady, a skinny boy and a large boy, left the store with two owls. A snowy one with a beautiful plumage and a very tiny and curious eagle-owl with brown feathers and which strangely didn't move a bit.

"Gonna buy yer cat now?" Hagrid suddenly said to Dudley, innocently.

"My 'what' now?" responded Dudley surprised.

"Yer 'Cat'! Yeh tell meh that yeh are a cat person, didn't yeh?"

"You want a cat Dudley?" asked Petunia concerned.

"I-I… You know… I just said.... about cats… I like them… I think?" muttered Dudley who felt cornered all of a sudden.

"Ok, let's go take you a cat then" declared Petunia smiling.

"You know mom, you don't ha- And she's already gone..." sighed Dudley.

When it was about buying something for their son, the Dursleys were world's champion. In an instant, Petunia dashed towards the animal menagerie next to the owl shop followed quickly by Hagrid, Harry and Dudley. On their way, Dudley was sighing more and more at each step while Harry was laughing more and more loudly… Until he got slapped behind the head.

The inside of the menagerie was not as bad as the owl shop. It was worse. If the cacophony of the Eeylops Owl Emporium store was atrocious for Dudley, it had only owls. The menagerie had more than a hundred animals of all types and tones. Dudley could easily compare the commotion to an hellish concert of irritating noise. To complete the picture, Dudley would not for a moment set his eyes on the ground out of fear of finding out what he was stepping on. In the end, Dudley should have simply told Hagrid that he was not very good with animals.

Petunia was at the counter speaking with the vendor, an old witch with disheveled white hair while Hagrid gently played with some toads and Harry tried to clean the feces he stepped on his shoes. Dudley sighed and went to his mom to drag her out when suddenly he felt something landing on his head. For a moment, Dudley feared the worst but then he felt something gently purring at the top of his head from where pleasant vibrations were transmitted through his body. Dudley raised his hands above his head and grabbed a ball of silky fur. He carried the strange ball-of-fur and found himself face to face with a beautiful black cat with yellow-green eyes. The cat and Dudley exchanged a long look before the feline started licking his nose with its rapping tongue.

"Ok, ok, stop it, that tickle" said Dudley smiling.

He took the cat in his arms and began to caress it gently. The cat kindly let himself be handled and began to purr more beautifully, which Dudley found strangely pleasant. The black cat was now slumbering in Dudley arms while being caressed.

"You found a cat that you like, Duddy" said a soft voice.

Dudley looked up and saw her mother gazing at him with a kind expression. The calling of his name turned Dudley's attention away from the cat. The black ball-of-fur noticed Dudley's lack of caresses and, still a little sleepy, grabbed Dudley's hand with one paw to continue the petting. The act brought a smile on Dudley's face who felt inexplicably attracted to the cat.

"Yeah, I think I found the good one" answered Dudley smiling.

At some point, Dudley found himself with a black cat on his shoulder which turned out to be a she-cat. The new recruit stood obediently on Dudley's broad shoulder, who gently stroked her neck for the sweet pleasure of the animal. As Dudley came out of the shop once the purchase was made, Petunia, Hagrid and Harry followed him outside. Hagrid gave the cat a large smile while Harry looked at his cousin surprised to learn that Dudley was really a cat person.

"Ah! What a beautiful little lady yeh have here, chump" said Hagrid to Dudley.

"Thank you, I think so too" agreed Dudley

"How will you call it?" asked Harry.

Dudley has hesitated on the name but Hagrid just gave him an idea.

"Lady... I think it suits her." answered Dudley stroking Lady neck.

"Good name, 'like it." nodded Hagrid.

"We still need your wand Dudley." remarked Petunia to her son.

"Yeh're right Ma'am. Com' on yeh two, let's go to Ollivanders." exclaimed Hagrid.

A magic wand … this was what Harry and Dudley had been really looking forward to.

The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 b.c. A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window. A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid offered to Petunia to sit and she gladly accepted. The atmosphere of the store gave the impression they just had entered a very strict library. Thousands of narrow boxes could be seen piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, Dudley, like Harry, felt the back of their neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.

"Good afternoon," said a soft voice.

Harry jumped. Hagrid and Petunia must have jumped, too, because there was a strong tremor in the ground while Petunia got quickly off the spindly chair trying to muffle her cry. Dudley, faithful to himself, just raised an eyebrow.

An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop.

"Ah yes. Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter. You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work." said the man, probably Ollivanders the wands' maker.

Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry who wished the man would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy. Dudley stepped back a little, glad Harry attracted the attention of the chilling wands' maker

"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course." said Mr. Ollivander who had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes.

"And that's where …"

Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger.

"I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it. Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands … well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do. …" declared Ollivander, half-sorry.

He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid.

"Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again. … Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?" exclaimed Ollivander

"It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid.

"Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled?" said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern.

"Er — yes, they did, yes, I've still got the pieces, though," responded Hagrid brightly.

"But you don't use them?" asked Mr. Ollivander sharply.

"Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly and Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke.

Mr. Ollivander gave Hagrid a piercing look but then turned to Dudley who jumped slightly, making Lady flee,.The cat simply walked and came to rest on Petunia's lap, immediately slumbering.

"A new acquirer, I suppose... Eleven? Quite tall, for his age. Half-giant? No, no, no; definitely not. Will possibly need a strong one....Humm…" said Ollivander talking to himself.

Dudley looked at the man who scrutinized him like a good piece of meat. Something about Ollivander displeased him strongly.

"And you are, mister?" asked Ollivander finally.

"Dudley Dursley." said Dudley, eyes half-closed.

Ollivander didn't continue and returned to Harry with a large smile as he just lost interest at Dudley. The lack of respect he recently encountered made him boil his blood again. Dudley definitely didn't like to be ignored so openly.

"Tell me Mr. Potter, which is your wand arm?" asked Ollivander as he pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket.

"Er- I am right handed" said Harry.

"Hold out your arm. That's it."

He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head.

"Hummm, thank you. And I you Mr. Dursley." he asked Dudley.

"Both hands" replied Dudley, simply.

"Ambidextrous? Quite unorthodox." said the wands' maker simply before leaving towards his shelves taking some boxes.

Dudley didn't remark before but the tape measure was measuring Harry on his own without Ollivander needing to handle it. When it was done with Harry, Dudley got measured too.

" That will do. We'll begin with you Mr. Potter. Try this, Beech-wood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just take it and give it a wave." Ollivander said Ollivander, handing a wand to Harry and retrieving his tape.

Harry took the wand and foolishly waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once.

"Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try..."

Harry tried... but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander. Thus began a long scene during which Harry tried a fair number of wands, but none were accepted. Ollivander spent his time collecting wands and handing them to Harry while taking them from his hands as soon as he put his fingers on them. The more wands stacked on the counter, the more Ollivander's smile grew. Until finally one of them ends up being chosen in a firework of sparks in red and gold. Hagrid clapped loudly with both hands as Ollivander beamed with joy. As for Petunia, she exuded a breath of relief while Dudley, who had slept on a wall, woke up in a small jolt. Only Lady curled up on Petunia's legs remained unperturbed.

"Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well … how curious … how very curious …" muttered Ollivander.

He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering the word "curious".

"Sorry,but what's curious?" asked Harry

Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare.

"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar."

Dudley could swore he just heard Harry swallowed.

"Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember. … I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter. … After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great." finished Ollivander while Harry became paler but with a touch of green.

Dudley turned back to Ollivander and thought he was right to feel revulsion in front of the man.

"We are done with you Mr. Potter. Mr Dursley, if you would kindly offer me the courtesy. Redwood and dragon heartstring. Twelve inches, unyielding." said Ollivander, handing to Dudley a wand.

Dudley walked up to the vendor and took the wand in his hand. And then, an event that no one in the room expected to see, not even Ollivander, happened. As Dudley touched the wand, the piece of wood exploded in a blast of wood shards. The scene was so sudden that nobody in the room understood what had just happened. Hagrid and Petunia were stunned while Ollivander remained frozen in front of the scene with his hand still extended towards Dudley. As for Harry, Dudley's closest to him at the moment, he blew out pieces of splintered wood that had stuck to his lips. Dudley did not move but gently pinched his lips, some shards stuck in them too, with his eyes half closed as usual.

"That was.. unexpected," finally said Ollivander, bewildered.

The wand maker regained his composure and didn't let himself be demoralized. He took the wand - or what was left of it - from Dudley's hands. He put the wood pieces sideways and took another one that he carefully handed to Dudley.

" Sycamore and unicorn hair. Thirteen and one-quarter inches, quite flexible."

Dudley cautiously took the wand from Ollivanders hand, but at the moment he touched it, the wand maker immediately retrieved the piece of wood the fastest he could. Too late, unfortunately. The wand once again shattered in an explosion of shards in the hand of Ollivander who grimaced at the sight of it. Dudley felt a little apologetic for what happened, even though he didn't understand how he did it.

"It seems, Mr. Dursley, that I need to be carefull with you. But no matter. We will definitely find your wand." declared Ollivander.

"Let's try this one. Pear wood and phoenix feather, fourteen inches, supple"

It was at this moment that Garrick Ollivander knew... he screwed up.

Over a long period of time that seemed like an endless nightmare for Ollivander, Dudley tried and wiped out many of the magic wands. Throughout this time, Ollivander distributed wands as delicately as possible in Dudley's hands, who touched them carefully to avoid accidentally exploding, cremating, crushing them or any other existing destructive adjectives. Ollivander, who usually loved tough customers, seemed to be slowly passing away as he watched his life's work being consumed before his eyes. He once had a smile back when he was able to recover an intact wand. But as he put it on the counter, it fell to ashes.

"No, no, no, no…. It needs to be sturdier, stronger. But with a good flexibility. And a powerful core, very powerful. Maybe Ebony with dragon - no - Holly with unicorn - neither! Mahogany! With a phoenix feather - It won't work too… I need more power. Power!" exclaimed Ollivander, insane.

Garrick Ollivander performed a most miserable spectacle for his customers. The poor wand maker seemed to be on the verge of insanity. Hagrid and Petunia, both of them, were completely stunned by what was happening while Harry watched the scene with his eyes wide open and clutched tightly the box containing his wand, happy to have passed before his cousin. For his part, Dudley spent his time cleaning his clothes of the pieces of wood that had been sprinkling him for some time.

"I need a wand sturdy enough with sufficient power to withstand a tremor… no a volcano… no a lightn - !"

Then Ollivander stopped. He didn't move for a moment standing still like a statue. Dudley, and Harry behind him, looked at the wand maker and wondered if Ollivander had suddenly dropped dead stiff. The wand maker suddenly turned his head towards Dudley and his face lit up as if struck by enlightenment.

"I'll be right back" he said before dashing behind his counter and further into the shop.

Barely two minutes later, Ollivander came back, this time with a lengthy and peculiar metallic cylinder. He placed the object on his counter and began to stare the head off like a cap. Then delicately, he pulled out a long, wide stick of wheat-gold coloured wood. Ollivander gently held the wand in his two hands, looked at it for a moment, then presented it to Dudley. Dudley stared at the wand. The long wooden rod, a bit curved, and was more than 15 inches long, it was the longest wand Dudley had ever seen. It was rather large and the colour of summer wheat. Its handle was longer than normal, almost half its total size. The grip was straight and solid with diagonal uneven slits crossed by non straight vertical lines. Its pommel was rather large and looked like a badly sculpted bear. The neck was made of a wooden ring that formed like a small carved guard, badly shaped like the rest. The rest of the wand to the tip was simply unpolished and rugged. It was the most unrefined wand Dudley had ever seen

"Seventeen inches long, solid, English Oak wood with thunderbird feather" grumbled Ollivander.

"Thunderbird?" questioned Dudley wondering.

Ollivander didn't reply and simply handed Dudley the wand. The young man gave him an interrogating look and then gently grabbed the handle of the wand in fear of destroying it once again. But this time, the wand held up well. Dudley took it entirely in his hand, finding it heavier than the others, and suddenly an electric shock passed through his entire being. All of sudden, a lightning bolt exploded in the room and a thunderclap was heard followed by a gust of wind sweeping through the store. Hagrid, Harry and Petunia covered their faces by reflex in front of the flash of light while Lady sought refuge under Petunia chair. Dudley, who was entirely facing the phenomenon, had his vision blinded by the flash. After a short time, he regained his sight and carefully looked at the wand, a little afraid to see a new one being smoked by him. He discovered in his grap the same wand as before but it has undergone some modifications. On the guard and the bear-shaped pommel, strange runes had appeared and shone with a luminescent glow. As for the shaft, a strange electric arborescence pattern had emerged as it was coiled around it and also glowing. After a while the light dimmed until it went out. The motif and runes were now engraved on the wand. Dudley contemplated the wand, which he found perfectly suited to his palm and twirled it in his hand like one of his wooden drumsticks.

" I found my wand" happily declared Dudley.

"It seems so… But it is… awkward." said Ollivander.

"Why?" dudley asked, confused.

"I don't know how to say this but… The wand in your grasp is actually… a defective product… a failure if I could say" replied Ollivander a bit embarrassed.

"Again - Why?" questioned Dudley.

"Where to begin? The wand is far too long and too large. Seventeen inches isn't practical. It is also too heavy to be handled correctly. The handle is too long too, almost half the entire wand. I won't begin to speak about its weight's center which is completely disaxed… There are too many flaws with this wand, Mr Dursley" confessed Ollivander.

"But why then did you keep it in your shop? Why not throw it?"

"Because, Mr. Dursley, despite his many flaws, this wand is undoubtedly the most powerful that I have ever made."

"""For real!""" replied Dudley, Hagrid and Harry in union.

"For… real" said Ollivander sighing.

"Let me explain the circumstance of this wand for you to understand. During my younger year, I was experimenting over many different cores and wood to find the best combination possible. One day, I found myself the acquirer of a very potent Thunderbird feather. I was not very accustomed with this kind of core but the challenge pleased me and I decided to make a wand out of it. When I was searching for the perfect wood in Northern Europe, I found myself caught in a terrible storm. I managed to shelter myself without difficulty, and it was at this moment that a thousand-year-old oak on which I took samples sooner that day got suddenly struck by lightning and a branch of the tree was torn off by the force of the blow. Enlightened, I saw in this branch the perfect material for the feather in my possession. Too perfect unfortunately. Although the two elements merged perfectly, their combination resulted in a violent magical storm that forced me to alter the making to contain its power. The result was the wand in your hands, Mr Dursley.... And it was a complete failure. The shape aside, its power is… unpredictable. Over the many customer that I had, no-one could hold this wand without being injured." sighed Ollivander.

The wand maker seemed a little frustrated by the piece of wood in Dudley's hand. Despite being the most powerful wand Ollivander ever created, it was an impractical one which can't be used properly. Indeed, a frustration for the wand maker.

"I'm surprised that wand chose you. I never thought that one day someone would own this wand. Although, I may see some similarity to destruction." said Ollivander as he contemplated the cemetery of wand on his counter.

Dudley exchanged a sorry look with Ollivander who had lost all his smiles. Harry and Dudley paid for their wands and - fortunately - not for those that had fallen in the line of duty. Harry paid seven Galleons and Dudley strangely paid only four.

"As I said, I never expected to sell this wand. Four Galleons is largely enough to dispose of it." replied Ollivander.

The group finally quit the shop, Ollivander bid them farewell bitterly, and they left for the streets of Diagon Alley.

"Hagrid, what's a thunderbird?" asked Dudley with Lady back on his shoulder and her tail wrapped around his neck.

Despite being born in a Muggle family, Dudley already knows a bit about fantastical creatures like the unicorn, dragons or even phoenix. But he never heard of a thunderbird.

"It's a bird - well yeh have already figured that out. The thunderbird is a magical beast like the phoenix. The two birds are somehow cousins, or somethin' like that. But instead of throwin' fires like a phoenix, the thunderbird creates lightning storms as it flies. Pinch meh if the word 'thunder' could suit any other beast."

Dudley listened cautiously to what Hagrid just told. A bird that created a storm, the boy really wanted to see that one day.

"It's kind of funny yeh know. Yeh both are cousins and your wands have a phoenix and a thunderbird feather. Ahaha, even yer wand wood are amusing." continued Hagrid smiling.

"What is funny about our wands" asked Harry, confused.

"Blimey, I forgot how little yeh know about our world. Don't bother too much, both of yeh. It's just an old gibberish: "when his wand's oak and hers is holly, then to marry would be folly", as they said. a baseless superstition, only some wizards believe it. My own wand was an Oak yeh know." said Hagrid proudly.

Harry and Dudley said nothing but exchanged a brief look.

"In that case, I think it is suited," said Dudley briefly.

"I agree," said Harry as briefly as Dudley.

"Eh? Really? Well, I guess yeh right. It's not like, yeh cousins one day, will mar-"

"""Stop it!""" shouted Dudley, Harry, and even Petunia; and Hagrid immediately shut.

As the time passed, the night was finally approaching and their shopping was over. It was time for everyone to return.

Soon, Harry and Dudley were about to start their first years at Hogwarts.