Chapter 8: The Incredible Hulk

Chapter 8:

October 9th, 2010:

"This is so not what I had signed up for!" I exclaimed as I dodge yet another one of Abomination's many punches. It had taken me 20 minutes of running and jumping on top of buildings and swinging for me to get to Harlem. I took a few minutes to rest seeing that Blonsky was just now starting the procedure to transfuse Banner's blood into himself. Thankfully I was early.

Some might ask me why I'm even letting Blonsky become Abomination. It has a very simple reason. Character arc. Hulk gets seen as a hero first during this fight. Before it he was always the big green monster. After this fight he'll be the big green monster who fought against another monster who was trying to destroy Harlem. Also this will help me show the world the true colours of General Ross. He indirectly caused this. And I've already said I'm not a good guy. Remember that Batman quote?

Anyway. I look at the College building just in time to see something get thrown out of the window of Sterns' lab. More like through and along with the window. After throwing some more Lab equipment Abomination jumps out of the hole he made, not that he needed it really. Let's first check up on Sterns.

I enter the lab to see him sleeping blissfully. Why's he so happy? Then I see his slightly enlarged head and the blood canister above him. Oh so that's why. I bring out a shatterproof test tube from my utility belt. What? I liked Batman too! And I'm a scientist! Well- kinda. I collect some of Banners' blood making sure not to touch it directly, for research purposes. I even collect a vial full of Sterns' blood. He's supposed to become some really smart character after exposure to Hulk's blood, right? After webbing Sterns up, and storing the blood in the sewers, I go follow the sound towards where Abomination is. No one checks sewers,alright? I saw that he was about to hit a few Army soldiers. With a taxi. Talk about exaggeration.

"Give me a real fight!" He grumbles. Damn! Even his grumbles send shivers down my spine. I quickly web the cab and pull it from out of Blonsky's hand and gently set it down. Thank God he wasn't holding onto it too tightly. On second thought, looking at the torn doors and the missing tyre, thank God I pulled the car as quickly as I did.

"Yo! You want a real fight? Take this!" Saying this I jump high into the air and punch his face with all the force I could muster. I wish I could say Abomination went down like a sack of potatoes. I really do. But he just got thrown into the building in front of me. He looked excited when I punched him. I look at the soldiers, "The fuck are you guys waiting for? Get out of here and get everyone else out too! Dumbasses all of them!" They quickly scramble out of the street and start setting up a perimeter to get everyone else out.

"Uh oh!" My spidey-sense tingles. I only have enough time to bring up my hands in an X to block before he slaps me into a building. Damn! That hurt. That actually fucking hurt! Hah! Taking the risk of sounding crazy, I actually got hurt! I'm excited! And I'm really thankful I kept the blood samples safe before joining the fight. I laugh loudly and jump right back in to start a dance with Abomination. And that's when I find out that I'm actually crazy.

Abomination was playing with me. He saw a regular sized human and sent enough force to kill a regular sized man. So now that he knows I'm tougher than normal he's fighting for real now. Fuck! I had to open my big-ass mouth and laugh at him, didn't I?

And that brings us to the present. Where I'm dodging Abomination's punches left and right. I had to utilize all of my skill in 6 martial arts and combine it with my spidey sense to just barely dodge his hits! Well he was a trained soldier before he became this. He punches forward with his left hand. I duck and punch his elbow. But damn he has thick skin.

I manage to web his face and get out of there before Abomination removes the web when suddenly there's a crash sound in the road. Is that a hole in the middle of the road? Who the fuck did that? And I get an answer when a large green hand shoves outward. Oh! The Incredible Hulk is here! He roars towards Blonsky in challenge and he looks at Hulk too.

"Hulk!" He says in that creepy low evil voice.

"Oomph!" I get slapped away by Abomination while I was distracted, again. Kick a puppy while you're at it too now why don't you?

"Yeah!" Abomination says and starts running towards Hulk. Hulk of course the competitor that he is starts running towards Abomination too. They jump towards each other when they get close enough and punch at each other. There's a huge shockwave which I feel into my bones and which destroys a few lights. Damn that's cool!

Abomination throws Hulk down the road with enough strength that Hulk skips a few times before coming to a stop out of my sight. Abomination runs on after him and goes out of my sight too. What the hell? Why are there still people here? The fuck is the military doing? And are they running in the direction of the fight? Are they dumb?

"Siri. Speakers on full volume. Hey! Everyone stop!" People stop and look at me weirdly. I was standing on top of a police car wearing my Black Spider suit. "Are you out of your minds? Two hulking creatures are fighting and you run towards it? Get the fuck out of here in that direction." I say while pointing in the direction opposite of where Hulk was thrown.

I start looking for people in the wreckage using IR camera as well as referring to sounds and start rescuing them if they are stuck. Hulk can handle Abomination for now. I thank my brain that I had the foresight to torture test my HUD helmet. Or else I might have had a real problem without it.

It was while I was rescuing a 10-12 years old black Kid from his apartment that Peter finds me.

"Dude where do these monsters keep coming from? First it was Green Goblin. No offense. Then it was Connors as a giant Lizard and now these two." He asks as soon as he lands in front of me.

I laugh a little, only a little because I think one of my ribs is broken. I look at him and gesture him towards all the wreckage. "Yeah, get used to it. Now that there's superheroes other than in comics, supervillains will come by the dozen."

He sighs loudly and asks me, "So what's priority no 1? Search and rescue? Or stopping the monsters?" Oh yeah. He doesn't know.

I give the kid to one of the straggler cops and say softly but firmly, "Get him to safety please. Things will start getting messier now." I then look at Peter's horrified face, that's a really expressive mask, and say, "The green one's on our side. At least until you start attacking him. His name is Hulk from what I heard. The ugly one was causing damage even before I got here," I lie a bit. "The ugly one is smarter than the Hulk and has tougher skin. I tried my full powered punch and he got thrown only like 20 feet and got back up within half a minute." Peter whistled at that. He knew how strong my full powered punch was by first hand experience. He was left choking on air for a half hour before he could breathe properly after I punched him in the gut during one of our practice sessions.

"No offense Spidey but out of the two of us I'm the stronger fighter and I can take punches better. I'll get close to them and help the so called Hulk take down that- that abomination. You stay at a distance and keep webbing him up. Help any stragglers you can see." He nods his head and heads towards high ground. He knows I can take care of myself while keeping an eye out for others so he isn't worried. I swing towards where the sounds are now coming from.

I get to their position just in time to see Hulk and Abomination crash a helicopter. I couldn't see Abomination anywhere but Hulk was now starting to get up. The helicopter is leaking its fuel and there's sparks flying from the broken fans. Suddenly Abomination jumps out from behind the Helicopter and onto it. He either roars at Hulk or just grumbles, seriously I can't even tell anymore. Blonsky wipes a bit of blood off his mouth and sneers at Hulk while Hulk just looks sadly at Blonsky for a second before the look changes to rage and he starts running at Blonsky. Blonsky pins Hulk to a wall and starts to choke Hulk.

While he is distracted I start rescuing anyone that's alive within the Helicopter. First I web the spots where its sparking to prevent a fire. Then I go inside and bring both the Ross' out of the helicopter. I would have loved to kill General Ross right there but I'm not that evil.

"You don't deserve this power! Now watch her die!" I suddenly hear. I look back to see Abomination using his weird elbow bone claw thing to pierce Hulk's chest while choking him. I'm about to interfere when Hulk suddenly looks determined and breaks out of the hold. I feel a lot of heat coming from behind me and turn to see there's a fire building up. Oh! I didn't see the fire.

There's a sonic boom and I get thrown into the helicopter which is now not burning. That was Hulk, I think. Huh.. The Hulk saved my life.

"Look out!" Betty Ross screams at Hulk. Hulk looks back in time to get hit in the face by a thick chain. Blonsky spins it again and hits Hulk a second time throwing him down.

"General! Any last words?" Abomination asks while looking at us swinging that big ass chain intending to throw it on us. I'm preparing to take the two and scram when there's another scream from the side.

"Hulk, Smash!" Hulk screams and punches both his fists into the floor. It results in a crack which causes Abomination to lose his step and the chains slip from his hands and fall on top of his head disorienting him.

Hulk takes advantage of the situation and runs towards him and grabs the chain. He starts using the chain to choke Abomination now. Oh how the tables have turned! I don't miss a beat and start running towards the two while signalling Peter to do the same. We both reach Hulk at the same time and start using our strongest webs to tie down Abomination. He was starting to resist the Hulk when we did it. And just in time too. Hulk pulls real hard at the chain and breaks Abomination's neck. With a healing factor as good as it is, it won't kill him. But it might keep him down for now. Now Abomination is completely covered in our webs. But Hulk doesn't stop pulling until another scream occurs. By now the fighting had drawn a crowd. Dumbasses. The cops and Soldiers were aiming their guns at Hulk while Ross was half-heartedly trying to get them all to calm their tits.

"Stop!" Betty screams at Hulk. Seriously, she screams a lot! And then Hulk stops pulling at the chain. Betty approaches us and stands in front of the 8 foot Hulk. "It's okay." She whispers.

"Betty." Hulk grumbles. Somehow his voice is softer than before.

Hulk looks at me and Peter and nods a thanks to us. He looks like he's about to transform back into Banner when some asshole news Helicopter flashes a big light on the four of us. Hulk barely spares us another glance and starts jumping out of there.

I look at all the military men and motion towards Abomination in a 'Get on with it' gesture and me and Peter start swinging towards different directions.

I go back to the sewers and get the Blood samples. Checking for any tracking devices and finding none, I go through the sewer tunnels towards home. It'll be a bitch trying to get the smell off, but honestly it's better than trying to get rid of SHIELD or the Army fellows trying to follow me to my house. At least this way I buy myself some time.

I reach my house after an hour and a half of walking. After getting out of the stinking suit and keeping the blood samples on ice in a safe in my lab, I take a nice hot shower. Ah! Feels good to be home. I change into my clothes and put the suit in the washing machine to soak. Thankfully everything was washable. I eat dinner and just go to sleep. I'm dead on my feet right now as it is and I have at least a few bones broken.

The next day, I wake up fully healed at 8. First time I've slept the full 8 hours in a few years. Feels good to have a healing factor. I freshen up, go to the kitchen and start frying bacon for myself while nursing a cup of coffee and say,

"You could have at least called ahead. I would have prepared dinner for you and your entourage." Why did I say that, you ask? Well there are currently 3 other people in my house.

"I wanted to surprise you, obviously it didn't work." A weary voice says from behind me. I look behind to see a tall black man wearing a trench coat and an eye patch over his left eye along with whom I know to be Agent Coulson. OMG it's Samuel L Jackson! The look he's giving me tells me that he expects me to explain how I knew he was there. As Tony Stark will someday say, 'He's the spy'. I just am that good. Plus Siri whispered it into my ear piece as soon as I wore it.

"Col. Nicholas Joseph Fury. To what do I owe the pleasure of having the director of SHIELD in my loving house? Whatever it is the answer is no. Don't let the door hit you on your way out." I say with as much of a sneer I can bring up.

"Oh we will. If you listen to my proposal first." I simply raise an eyebrow at him and ignore him in favour of the bacon. Seriously what's he gonna do? Shoot me from behind? I can dodge any bullets easily.

"Threatening honest civilians now Fury? Are you sure you aren't actually HYDRA in hiding?" I look meaningfully at him. Hopefully he gets the hint. By the slight twitching of his eyes, he probably did and is masking it with anger.

"Oh but you aren't a civilian, are you Mr Osborn? Maybe I should call you Black-Spider?" Well I expected it. I'm not exactly surprised.

"For curiosity's sake, how long did it take you guys to figure it out?" I ask curiously while plating my delicious bacon and preparing an omelet.

"Just yesterday actually. We have someone who managed to follow your heat signature to your house." Huh.. I thought I covered it. Apparently not. Still he's not happy that it took him this long to figure it out.

"Fitz-Simmons huh? Well they are smart enough to figure me out." I say, purposefully mentioning that I know more than I should, again.

"That's another question I have to ask you. How do you know state secrets?" I can see Fury is furious. I have more on him than he has on me. Hehehe. Feels good to be on the higher ground. Obi wan was right.

"I hacked SHIELD when I was 15. A government agency that no one knows about? Yeah that did not exactly build my trust in my government. Reading your files more so. Whatcha gonna do? Arrest me?" I mockingly say the last part before he can open his mouth. I did actually hack into SHIELD at 15. I just wanted to see if I could do it. Well one thing led to another and next I know, I'm reading reports about the Budapest mission of Black Widow and Hawkeye. Most if it was redacted so I didn't learn anything special.

"Those are National secrets you hacked into. You could get away for life for this." Nick threatens me, again.

"Oh Nicholas." He scowls at me. I love annoying him. Its fun! Now I know why Tony did it so often. I smile at him and say, "You aren't here to arrest me. You're here to recruit me into your- how did Tony put it?- Super secret boy band."

He scowls at me again. Seriously his face is gonna get stuck like that if he keeps it up. I can understand. I'm now quoting his conversations which were supposed to be private.

"Even if we can offer you training? We have the best spies and fighters on the planet. We could train you to be the best." He offers.

I scoff at him and pile my breakfast at the table and start eating. I point my fork at him and say, "You know Fury? You are currently standing in the house of a 17 year old underage guy threatening him and offering to turn him into a child soldier while telling him that he won't be turned into a child soldier. Are you really sure you aren't HYDRA?"

"I am NOT trying to turn you into a child soldier." Fury hisses at me. I can see he's itching to go for his gun.

"Yeah keep telling yourself that Joseph." God I love pissing him off. "You are going to train me, which will not be for free. So you'll expect me to complete a few missions for you. Ergo Child Soldier."

"Let me tell you something Mr. Osborn. The world is a bigger place than your corner in New York. I'm offering you a chance to protect the world from different dangers to society and you're rejecting it?" And here comes the guilt trip.

"That shit may have worked on Stark. But I'm not him. Stark can go do whatever the fuck he wants. Me? I'm gonna stay here and protect my city. I don't need your training, and I certainly don't need you trying to GET INTO MY LABS!" I yell out the last part and bang my fist on the table once because the 3 guys Fury brought with him were each trying to gain access to me labs and my computer. Siri had silently notified me of their activities.

Fury pulls out his gun and aims it at my head when I yell at him, startled. When I continue eating my food he puts a finger to his ear and says, "Stand down. Everyone out of the house. Yes! Out! That's an order!" One of the agents saw my toys probably.

"See. Insubordination too. What has SHIELD come to. Also you threatened a minor with a loaded gun. I can just smell the lawsuit from here." I smirk at him. Now he's once again -pardon my pun- furious.

"Look here kid. I don't know how you know everything. But if you do, then you know that the world isn't as safe as people make it out to be. We need people like you to help protect it. The world needs to be protected." He says passionately.

" 'But who will guard the guards?' You want to put together the so called Avengers to protect the planet from threats like those that no army can handle. But who will protect the world if the Avengers as well as SHIELD turn on the planet? Who will protect us when the world turns on the Avengers? And you can bet your ass that the world will turn on us.

"Also on the other hand, what might guarantee that SHIELD won't kill us when we become a threat to your vision of what's right? Huh? No answer? Come talk to me when you have an answer to that. But until then. Get. Out. Of. My. House!" I say the last part silently but firmly.

That had really bugged me in the movie. SHIELD had direct oversight over Avengers and still they had this many screw ups. Also, it was supposed to be the best spy agency in the world and still managed to get infiltrated by Hydra? Seriously? So no, I'm not gonna join the Avengers. I might help them out from time to time. Like during Loki's invasion. But I won't be a permanent member.

He gives me a nod, says, "Thank You for your time, Mr Osborn. I'll call for an appointment in a few days." He turns and leaves the premises. Thankfully he did not know I had an AI so Siri was not disabled.

"Siri, sweep the house of any and all surveillance devices that I haven't installed myself. After that hack SHIELD and keep any record of my name mentioned anywhere. I don't need Hydra coming after me for the Oz-2." It's been 2 long days and its only morning.

"Also clean my armour with something strong to remove the smell. That shit still stinks." Siri answers in an affirmative and goes silent. She knew that Fury and his band of idiots were not a danger to me. Or else she would have woken me up. Great. Now I gotta watch out for Shield, Hydra as well as the Skrulls. Joy. At least now I know my labs security system is up to standards. I'll have to invent a way to detect Skrulls from normal humans.

I finish my breakfast and go to the gym to work out. Yesterday's fight had told me that I'm nowhere near ready for when Thanos comes. Well I might just take up on Fury's offer if he can manage to bring out Carol Danvers to train me. She's stronger than Thanos physically so training with her will prepare me for Thanos. Meh.. I've still got time. I'll think about it.