13 Chapter : 9 : Witch! Swords!
Gudako P.O.V:
Ok, system! Use the thing!
[ Do you wish to use Memorabilia Realizer (A+)? ]
Yes! Just use it!
[ Confirmed. ]
[ Scanning for viable targets. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ 1 target found: Jeanne d'Arc Alter Keychain (B). ]
[ Use Memorabilia Realizer (A+) on Jeanne d'Arc Alter Keychain (B)? ]
Yes- woah! I narrowly managed to swerve out of the direction of the fire breath that the dragon started spewing out. I don't know how the bersercar can even pull off these movements, but I shouldn't question the power of the legendary "lays a lot" Lancelot! Anyways, since I was interrupted, system! Yes! Use the item!
[ Confirmed. ]
[ Processing... ]
For a super-powered god system you sure do a lot of processing, don't you?
[ Shut up, b*tch. ]
Wha-
[ Processing... ]
Hey! What the hell was that for?!
[ Usage successful. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Commencing summoning. ]
Fine I guess, thank you for the hard work, system. Moving on... it's the woman of my dreams! The one who has eluded me and my credit card for so long! The #1 white woman! The tsundere dragon witch! After all this time, the impossible has happened, a guaranteed Jalter, yeah! Finally, come home-
Gudako: Gah!
I feel cold metal on my face and my vision goes black. D-did it summon Jalter on top of me or something? Did she just decide to step on my face right out of the gate? Really?! For free- I mean the audacity of the system! At least summon her normally, you save this kind of stuff for later- I mean this is bullying! EX rank bullying!
...
Lancelot isn't affecting my head, right? Surely it isn't, so with that concerning thought definitely quelled I manage to lift what I presume is her foot off my face and see her. Umu, this position isn't half bad, the view from here is quite great actually... if it weren't for the massive red dragon that I see approaching in the distance!
Mordred: Ah shit! A French woman appeared!
Jalter: Shut up, British brat. Anyways, servant, Avenger- wait a second... I don't feel the constant burning hatred that comes from being one. What is this? This is such an... odd feeling. It's so... peaceful... I don't like it.
I still blankly stare, this doesn't feel real. Guild Girl of course still holds a special place in my heart, and I do have to admit that Mordred and Ushi are pretty, but I can't help it, I'm absolutely infatuated with this woman who is in front of me, or well more accurately on top of me. It's probably the thousands I spent trying to get her, your sacrifice was not in vain, wallet!
Jalter: What's with that look? Come on, get up, nothing good will come of lying about it.
She then forcefully grabs my arm and yanks me up, ow, that kind of hurt. However, this was quickly forgiven as it just so happened that my face plopped straight into her chest. I panic quickly after though, since that was probably a really weird first impression. So I look up and prepare to get off immediately, but she just sighs and looks behind us... at the massive flaming dragon I forgot about already...
Cu: Oi Master! Get your head out of the clouds! Don't get distracted from the enemy by some pretty lady! *Mumbling* I made that mistake one too many times...
I swear I heard Cu mumble something, but it might have just been from my head overheating. Finally snapping back into action from my simping, I see Mordred quietly seething as Ushi tries to calm her down, which is good since I can't have her jumping straight into danger. Cu is driving the bersercar since I taught him how just in case. While Hassan is slowly unwrapping his covered arm- wait a minute!
Gudako: Got it, Cu! Anyways, Hassan!
I see him pause unwrapping his arm so he can look at me.
Hassan: Yes, Master?
Gudako: What exactly are you doing?
Hassan: Ah, I simply plan to crush the heart of the beast. It is a bit large, but I am certain it is still in my capabilities.
Gudako: No! No! Put the devil's arm back! I got a plan, so everyone just stays put, alright?
Hassan: You... do?
Ushi: Master... you have a plan?
Mordred: Since when did ya make a plan?! I thought you were leaving it to us!
Why are they all so confused? Surely they can tell by who I just summoned-
Cu: I can see the confusion on your face, Master. It's because all you've been doing for the past few minutes while we've fended off and avoided the dragon was blankly staring as you plopped your face right into the new girl's chest. So we just assumed you wanted to take it easy and have us deal with it.
Oh yeah, I was doing that. But really? It's already been a few minutes? Time sure flies when you are having fun- ah wait! This is Jalter we're talking about! I might get roasted to death even if the system is supposed to prevent that! I quickly back off and look at her, to which she is... ever so slightly blushing. Why- oh... that's why... thank you! Harem Protagonist EX!
Jalter: Tch, it seems you finally noticed, I was this close to burning you to ashes. Well, what do you want me to do, besides being your pillow? I assume it's to either tame or destroy that dragon over there?
Gudako: Y-yeah, sorry about that. But could you?
I see her smirk as she turns around and faces the dragon, staring straight into the eyes of the dragon that is still chasing us.
Jalter: Very well, even Fafnir could not disobey me. Fufufu, you shall be easy... { Sit. }.
I see the dragon briefly look almost confused. Before it let out an extremely loud roar followed up with a massive breath attack of flame. Cu manages to swerve the bersercar out of the way, surprising considering his track record with vehicles. Enough of that, however, why didn't it work?!
Jalter: I-I see... perhaps you are a little more difficult than I imagined... ( Why isn't it working?! And did that dragon just tell me to go and die?! Me?! The dragon witch?! No... I must remain calm... I can do this! My hatred still burns strong! )
I want to believe in her, but the dragon just looks somehow more pissed off when it was commanded to go and sit like a dog. Not to mention I can see a bit of sweat on Jalter's forehead and her confident smirk is now twitching. I mean worst case scenario if my plan doesn't work... well there is always the intercontinental ballistic Gae Bolg to the face plan.
Jalter: Fufufu, so you can dodge... but let's see you dodge this! Burn by my flames of hatred!
I see her launch flames from her hands, to which they go straight into the face of the dragon. Oh! Did that work?! Its face is completely covered in the flames! I guess Jalter could do it-
...
I see the fire fade and the dragon having a slightly more charred nose... huh... who knew using fire on a fire-breathing dragon wouldn't work all too well? It then lets out a roar and gets even faster, letting out a swing at us that narrowly missed as Cu sped up the bersercar even further.
Cu: The hell?! Why did it just get more pissed off?!
Hassan: Master... are you sure this plan is going to work?
Gudako: S-surely it will!
Jalter: N-naturally, I am the dragon witch after all. A little resistance from a rebellious dog means nothing.
The fact that she stuttered along with me does not help in the slightest with my argument... so I sigh and rub my forehead in frustration. I really thought summoning Jalter would be an easy fix for this dragon problem, but apparently not. Seriously, what can I do here? I mean if I just let the servants loose I'm sure they would kill this thing.
But I need the corpse intact though, since while I'll still get the rewards from the system so long as the dragon is dead, I won't from the Guild. This is why I wanted to summon Jalter in the first place, if I could tame a dragon then I get a cool dragon pet, if not then maybe she could summon a spike to pierce the head only and get a clean kill... but...
Jalter: It dodged my impalement?!
She looked so cool at first... but why is she a complete dunce?! What Jalter did the system pull for this?! The dragon didn't even look half concerned when it just dodged out of the way of her spikes. I turn my head in disappointment only to see Mordred slowly unsheathing her sword, and it begins to emanate a red glow.
Gudako: Ah! Mordred, stop!
Mordred: Why?! This whole thing has gone from concerning to annoying! That bitch over there can't even hit shit! I'll just blast the thing to smithereens and we can be on our way home already!
Jalter: E-excuse me?! I very well can deal with a mere dragon! I have commanded far more fearsome ones than this, so this much is nothing-
I see her fall over from the bersercar making a sudden swerve to dodge another fire attack. Seriously... what Jalter is this? I mean I always knew she put on a tough front, but why was it so quick to crumble?!
[ Answer: This Jeanne d'Arc Alter's personality slightly differs due to the method used to summon her. The keychain used had a chibi depiction of the character, and thus a bit more "cute" and "idiot" was added to the final summon. The fact that the system removes any specific classes, including Avenger and its side effects, may also influence her current personality. ]
I knew it was too good to be true... well at least she is still here if a bit more of a clutz. Though to be honest it is kind of cute, the gap moe is strong with this one, even more so than the original. So I'm still happy with it! If anything this makes it easier to get along with her, so let's stop dwelling on it.
Jalter: Just die! Just die and burn along with my hatred!
Though at this point Jalter looks absolutely done and annoyed with the surprisingly agile dragon. She keeps throwing flames and summoning spikes with little success. By all means any other creature would be dead one hundred times over, this just happens to be a horrible mismatch due to the dragon being sort of weird. Maybe because it's an area boss from the system?
Mordred: See! Look Master, just let me at that thing already! I can take it!
Ok, I guess I'll have to consider how this is going. This whole chase initially started out as a tense sudden boss encounter, but now it's just devolved into sitting in the bersercar as we wait for Jalter to try and hit the thing since talking didn't work. Cu is now just casually driving, Hassan is playing with his dirks, Mordred is pissed, and Ushi literally fell asleep!
Hassan: Hmm... I see, Master. You want the corpse intact, do you not?
Gudako: Yeah, I do need the corpse intact for what I have planned.
Mordred: Why? What are we going to do with a big dead dragon? I bet it doesn't even taste all that good.
I see Cu turn to look at us from his driving seat, he doesn't even look concerned in the slightest anymore. We also all hear Jalter attempt another La Grondement Du Haine, but we all choose to ignore it in favor of continuing the conversation since we've all seen the dragon dodge it by just flying up already.
Cu: Well it's pretty obvious, if we get it intact we can show it to the Guild in place of the Tarrasque. Since dragons are pretty high-level monsters, we'd get promoted, and then we could take higher-level quests. Isn't that right, Master?
Gudako: Mhm! Exactly, we are at least going to get a gold rank for this. Not to mention we might even have enough money to get a permanent house!
Cu: It's gonna be nice to have to finally have a place to call home, it's been a pain in the ass setting up camp every night.
Gudako: Sorry about that...
Cu: It's fine, don't worry about it. Camping is nothing I can't handle. But Master, where did Mordred go?
Gudako: Huh? She's right here- oh... oh no...
I turn around to see a shell-shocked Jalter, Hassan looking as if he expected this somehow, Ushi finally waking up due to the noise, and the missing star of the show, Mordred. Where is Mordred right now exactly? She is currently attempting to strangle the dragon... definitely something that a saber would do.
Mordred: Just die! I'm getting my special rank so that when my father gets back I have something to show off! Die you oversized scaley shit!
Jalter: You're telling me such a brute-forced method is actually working?! I mean, *ahem*, I suppose I can let someone else have a bit of a go at it, I've done my share of work already.
Well, I might as well just get everyone in on it already, the whole corpse being intact was just an excuse, I knew they could do it without needing to obliterate the thing with their full-power noble phantasms. In fact, Hassan or Cu could probably kill it with barely any damage with the exception of it's heart.
Really, I just wanted to see Jalter in action and give her the spotlight. But clearly... that didn't go as planned, did it? But I did have an actual legitimate reason for holding Mordred back though, I'm worried she might get a bit too wild and accidentally blow the dragon up with Clarent Blood Arthur. If that happens... bye-bye promotion...
Gudako: Fine, everyone! Feel free to absolutely kill that dragon!
I see Ushi immediately perk up.
Ushi: Beheading?
Gudako: Yes, Ushi, there can be a beheading.
I might as well let her have this, and I'm sure she can cut clean enough that it won't be a problem. Unlike a certain knight still trying to strangle the dragon, I've seen her sword skills, it's more aggressive smacking until it's dead than technique, so I'm just hoping she doesn't decide to use her sword.
Ushi: Really?! Very well! I'll do my best, Master!
I see her jump up off the bersercar and onto the head of the dragon, doing a small test cut along the way to see how tough its scales are. The only issue is that it seems she's having a difficult time slicing through the scales. For now, though she's dodging it's attacks since the dragon decided to retaliate with fire.
Gudako: What about you, Hassan?
Hassan: Well since my arm is off the table currently, there is not much I can do.
Gudako: Really? What about your dirks?
Hassan: They work far better on people or humanoid monsters. It would be far easier to show than explain, so watch.
I see him throw a dirk right at the dragon, only for it to bounce off.
Hassan: See?
Gudako: Ah, I get it. Assassination is your specialty though, so don't worry about it.
Hassan: It is nice of you to be concerned for my feelings, but it is unneeded. I know where my specialty lies, I will not get so easily jealous of a warrior being good at what a warrior is supposed to be good at.
Gudako: That's good-
*Crash*
We both look over to see Mordred face down on the floor of the bersercar. It seems the dragon tossed her off, as for Ushi however, it seems she is still doing fine. Cu can't help out all too much since he is still busy driving the thing, and Jalter seems to not be participating to avoid embarrassing herself further, though I'm sure she would say differently if I were to ask.
Jalter: Pfft- so much for being able to take it? Hmm?
Mordred: Shut up, not like you were doing any better.
Jalter: Hmph, I'm simply letting you have your go at it, don't mistake it for anything else.
Mordred: Sure, sure. Anyways, this thing is pissin' me off even more. So prepare yourselves! { Noble phantasm release- }
I quickly pull her arms down to prevent her from making the massive mistake of releasing her noble phantasm. Not only would it probably obliterate the dragon, but it would also hit Ushi and the recoil would send the bersercar flying as well. Though when I pulled Mordred's arms down my face was oddly close to hers... really? Right now? Harem Protagonist EX?
Mordred: F-fine, I'll hold off for now. But I won't hesitate to jump in if this takes too long, ya hear me?
Gudako: Yes, I do hear you. But seriously...
Why is this dragon so hard to kill?! I thought this would be a lot easier with the lineup we had, so why is it either dodging or just being oddly durable?! Damn, this fire-breathing- wait fire? I had a water gun, didn't I? Summer servants practically use pool toys, so what if I were to... hehe... I shall become the summer servant!
Cu: Oi, Master. Seriously what?
Gudako: I just had a seriously great idea! Cu, do you have the bag with the random stuff in it?
Cu: Hmm? That one? Lemme check... oh! I do, so here!
He then tosses it to me and I catch it. I rummage through it a bit, sorting through the half-broken pencil, and a belt, and finally finding the water gun I won from the gacha in my first ever 10 rolls. I manifest Lancelot's armor and change it into a noble phantasm, hah, this might just work!
Gudako: Prepare yourself for my special summer Lancelot noble phantasm! { Pool Party... Arondight. }.
I press the trigger and release a massive stream of high-pressure water that actually manages to knock the dragon out of the sky making it land headfirst onto the ground. It worked! I cheer in celebration, which Mordred joins in on and we even do a little celebratory fist bump, well that was until Hassan taps my shoulder, to which I turn around to face him.
Gudako: Hmm? What is it?
Hassan: Master... I think you may have nearly drowned Ushiwakamaru... you shot that water out as she was shouting her noble phantasm name. It was a bit hard to hear over all the ruckus, so I assume you did not notice.
I look around and see Ushi on the ground, her eyes rolling back and water spewing out of her mouth. Ah! I didn't kill her, did I?!
Gudako: Ah! Sorry! Hassan, can you go and get her?!
Hassan: Do not worry, I can. Just wait a moment.
I see him disappear faster than I could see, before promptly reappearing while holding Ushi with his arm before setting her down on a seat. A-rank stats really are impressive... but enough of that! I nearly drowned Ushi on accident!
Gudako: Uhm... does anyone know anything about what to do?!
Hassan: I, unfortunately, do not, I trained in the arts of killing, not healing. She must have swallowed a lot of water since her mouth was open and she was shouting, that is clear enough.
Gudako: Uh... Cu! You got anything?!
Cu: I do have a rune for it... but...
Gudako: Don't want to use runes?
Cu: Yeah... sorry about that, Master.
Great, just what am I going to do? I am not losing a servant to a water gun incident-
*Slap*
*Slap*
*Slap*
We all turn to look at Mordred aggressively slapping Ushi in the face.
Mordred: Wake up! Spit out the damn water!
Jalter catches her hand, thank goodness, I think that just brought Ushi closer to death.
Jalter: You're doing it wrong, just watch.
Jalter then proceeds to stomp on Ushi's stomach, really hard. I was wrong to trust her for healing, she is literally the complete opposite of a saint! Even if she is a bit off, she's still Jalter at heart!
Ushi: *Cough* *Cough* M-master? What happened?
It worked?!
Gudako: Ah thank goodness, you almost drowned!
Ushi: Drowned? How- never mind, I remember it now, it was that stream of water you shot.
Gudako: Sorry! I'm really sorry!
Ushi: It's fine, though it was a bit shocking...
-----
Ushi: You're tough, but let's see you handle this! { Dan No- Gwahh! }.
-----
Ushi: Just a bit surprising...
Gudako: I apologize, I'll treat you to something later, alright?
Ushi: Very well, I'll take you up on that offer.
Now that Ushi is okay, I go to check and see if the dragon is still knocked out from landing on its head, only to notice... it's gone. Uhh... should I be concerned? I probably should actually, considering the dragon is missing. Oh no, I also just realized that the system never notified me that the mission was complete!
*Roar*
I turn, along with everyone else, to see the dragon heading straight for the cart at maximum speed. It's not slowing down, so it is planning to ram us?! Cu tries to get out of it's path but it seems to be following us as well. But we can't just keep running away from it, so might as well face it down here while it's following us!
Gudako: Cu, can you use Gae Bolg on it?
Cu: No, it's too far for me to pierce it's heart. If I were to throw it that would work, but we're too close, and we'd be hit as well.
Shit... what to do... the water gun doesn't really do any damage either...
Mordred: { Clarent- }
Gudako: No! I'll let you use it at some point, but now is not the time!
Mordred: Oh... what a bummer...
Aghh! What to do!?
Hassan: Master, it's getting concerningly close.
Oh! I got it! Thanks, imminent danger!
Jalter: Why aren't we moving faster? Are you all idiots?
Gudako: Shut up hot lady! I've got a plan!
Jalter: H-hot lady?! Flattery won't work-
Cu: Enough with the flirting! We're about to get rammed into by a damn dragon! Prepare to jump off the cart, we might need to lose it at this rate!
I pull out a swallow's feather and 10 gold coins, sorry funds, but if this works it'll make up for it! System, buy a roll! I didn't do this originally thanks to the horrible exchange rates, but now is the time to pay to win!
[ Do you wish to buy 1 roll with 10 gold? ]
Yes! Take my money! Do the roll already too! But just work you damn gacha! You better work! I hold tightly onto the feather and pray with all my might. Jesus, Buddha, System, Sun Wukong, Nasu, Exodia's left pinkie, the sun, anyone really! Just let this work! I know I just got a Jalter, but surely I can be selfish enough to want more!
[ Gacha initiated. ]
[ Processing. ]
[ Congratulations! You've won a servant! ]
???: I see, this is a rather troublesome situation, isn't it? But really, are dragons, not just bigger swallows? So, let me end this... { Tsubame...
...
???: Gaeshi! }
-----
We pull up in front of the Guild, with the corpse of the recently slain red dragon in tow, which is being pulled by the bersercar. I'm really happy about this, while this quest is certainly more difficult than I expected, the rewards are definitely better than I could ever have expected! This was the feeling of adventure I was looking forward to!
Not only did we complete the initial quest easily, but I also got Jalter, and we killed the dragon. It was a bit of a struggle and there were a few bumps along the way, but at the end of the day, it all went pretty well. Oh yeah, there was also the new guy, the one who came to the rescue in that fight, the one, the only...
Gudako: Sasaki Kojiro! The Legend! The savior of France!
Sasaki: Master... do you really need to let the world know my name? Also, where did those titles even come from?
Oh yeah, this Sasaki is pretty standard it seems. No special memories, he's just like as if he was summoned as a plain old servant, so unfortunately no stories from him. Jalter was much of the same, I discovered this on the trip back when I was explaining everything to them. I guess not every servant can have a background, but still, two new servants!
Jalter: I'm French, yet I don't ever remember this man saving my country.
Gudako: You guys just don't get it, hmph!
Sasaki: Alright?
Jalter: Fine, keep your secrets, not that I care.
I hear doors burst open and turn my head to see Guild Girl rushing at me, once she does reach me, she proceeds to check me all over for injuries.
Guild Girl: You went and killed a dragon!? Just how irresponsible can you be! I told you to stick with the quests of your rank! *Sigh* You're fine, right?
Gudako: Yeah I am, it's also nice to see you too-
I feel Mordred proceed to battering ram me out of the way.
Mordred: You! Guild lady! What rank am I gonna get now!?
I get off the ground and send Guild Girl a thumbs up to show I'm fine.
Guild Girl: A-at the very least you will be gold ranked, does that answer your question?
Mordred: Hell yeah! No more shitty disappointing porcelain, I'm gold now!
She then runs off to the quest board and starts picking papers up like a maniac... maybe ranking up was a bad idea...
Gudako: Anyways, my servants- I mean party members can handle the rest of this stuff. Also, I'll be registering two new people as well, I'll be going up to my room now, I wanna rest for a bit.
Guild Girl: Alright, all of this must have been tiring, I'll see you later, Guda. ( She totally slipped up there... luckily no one else was around... )
As I'm heading out I realize I slipped up, ah I just made that whole mess worse. Anyway, I'm not really tired, in fact it's the complete opposite! I can't wait to roll a whole 40 rolls! Not to mention the dungeon key and the release of the tutorial world restrictions! This is so exciting, it's like it's all finally started for real!
Cu: Oi! Why am I being left behind to deal with all this paperwork? Ahhh!
Hmm, must be the wind. Off to gacha I go!
-----
I find myself back in my room, I left everyone else to deal with the aftermath of the dragon slaying and quest stuff since I wanted to get to this as soon as possible. First off, I pull out the dungeon key, let's see what it is all about!
[ Dungeon Key (B+). ]
System, can you be so nice as to tell me where this one leads to? I swear if it's another hell-
[ Dungeon: Warhammer 40k. ]
Ok, I think that's enough dungeon for today. Anyway, it's time to see what a whole 40 rolls is gonna get me!
[ Quest clear detected: Become gold-ranked adventurers. ]
[ Reward: 20 rolls. ]
Never mind! 60 rolls it is!
-----
New Servants:
Jeanne d'arc Alter:
Sasaki Kojiro:
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