20 Chapter : 15 : Archons! Tournament!
Gudako P.O.V:
Alright, System! Use the fragment and choose Lumine! Let's get this tournament of beating the asses of the Gods started!
[ Confirmed. ]
[ Notice: Host will be unconscious during this procedure to avoid shock from changing bodies. No such issues were present in the last occurrence due to the host's already unconscious state. ]
[ Starting... ]
Wait! I thought it would just be some light and then bam! New body! If I knew this I wouldn't have started it outside on some random bench-
*Plop*
Ah, my body is failing me... oh well... passing out on Kama isn't too bad...
-----
Kama: Wake up, Master.
Gudako: Eh... give me uh... an eternity or something...
Kama: Oh... alright then...
I refuse to acknowledge my consciousness returning to me and shove my face further into whatever soft thing I am currently lying on, which is Kama, not sure which part of her though. Who knew a Goddess who is also a Beast who is also an entire universe would be so soft and nice to lay on...
[ Notice: Host transformation complete. All normal skills will still function as normal, but ultimate skills will be locked and related items to obtaining them be unusable until the host switches vessels. This can be done with additional [Fragment of Protagnilium] won from the gacha or through quests. ]
Of course... gacha is gacha through and through... cruel and expensive... damnit! Well even if it seems I can't cosplay gender-bent Shirou for a while, at least I got more cool skills and stuff! Not to mention... the gacha pool has expanded even more! More characters! More gacha! More... crippling addiction to unhealthy habits...
No! If those addictions are for my survival and for humanity, then in fact it's good to roll gacha. Yes, I am not coping or anything close to it. It's simply a fact! So as I roll... please let it be good! I got 25 rolls and I'm placing all my hopes in it! My luck has been pretty good recently too... so let's hope it just hasn't run out! Roll Gacha! Usual things with filtering out the useless stuff!
[ Confirmed. ]
[ Gacha Initiated. ]
[ Rolling... ]
[ Congratulations! You've won a: Dungeon Key (E-). ]
That low? I've never been given one that low... wonder what it is? Alright, might as well see what it is!
[ Dungeon Key: Demon Slayer - Fight Akaza at the Mugen Train. Only one servant is allowed. ]
If this was me at the very start of my journey I would say "What the fuck is this bullshit?!" But after looking at my current lineup of servants... yeah it's gonna go from demon slaying to committing war crimes on demons real quick. Guess I'll leave that for later if I need more rewards or something, for now, let's keep this gacha train coming!
[ Congratulations! You've won a- ]
[ What am I supposed to call them? ]
Why are you asking me?! No in the first place, you are acting weirder and weirder lately! Also just call them servants per usual, what's different this time around?!
[ Shut up. ]
[ Congratulations! You've won a character! ]
[ Revealing... ]
Character? Not servant? Ah! Must be because of Lumine, but to get a new character off the bat from the new pool sure is great! I hope they are good though...
[ Congratulations! You've won Zhongli! ]
Eh? I feel the world begin to spin. Something is definitely wrong here, isn't it? Why does it keep giving me good things? Surely something is wrong, gacha isn't this nice. Eh? Eh?!?!?!?! No, more importantly... I don't see the little spinning lights and summoning things like normal. Is it different for non-Fate servants?
*Fwoosh*
A gust of wind blows my now shorter and golden hair as I look up- is that a fucking golden meteor?! Oi! Oi! Why is the summoning method for Genshin servants so volatile?!
Kama: Hmm... seems troublesome, get behind me.
I follow what she says because I'd rather be behind a Goddess than behind no cover at all, it's obvious. So as the golden meteor... or is shooting star? It doesn't matter! As it comes closer and the wind blowing from its speed and power increases it finally approaches the ground. It does so with a resounding boom as rubble and wind flies everywhere.
But strangely enough, I don't feel even a smidge of dust land on me or even the strong winds I see terrorizing this poor park in the city. Looking at Kama I see her simply holding her hand out, as chunks of rubble simply stop mid-air and the wind diverts around us. Huh? Since when could Kama do this?
Kama: *Sigh*, I can tell by that look, Master. I'm a goddess, I can do far more than just shoot arrows or burn things. How else do you think I throw my weapons around without touching them?
Gudako: Ah... that makes sense. As expected, Kama reigns supreme!
Kama: O-of course, just because I don't particularly like being a love goddess doesn't mean I'm bad at it.
Ignoring my blatant attempts at getting closer to girls per usual, it seems the dust has finally settled and I can see a figure emerge from it. But seriously, if this is how every Genshin character is summoned I'll have to go about rolling the gacha in much safer locations than just the room of my inn. Ah! But I have to greet Zhongli, so I pop out from behind Kama and approach.
Gudako: Hello there, Mr. Zhongli! Nice to meet you!
Zhongli: Nice to meet you too? Odd though, we've met plenty of times already.
Shit, of course, he came with memories.
Gudako: Ahaha... so about that...
-----
2 and a half hours of explaining later.
There... and done with my way too long explanation...
Gudako: That's about it! So... got any questions?
Zhongli: If I am correct... these peculiar series of events have led to you, who looks like the traveler I know from my world, summoning me here?
Gudako: Yeah? Ignoring the whole everyone is from different worlds, reincarnating, and don't even get me started on the lore!
Zhongli: The... lore? Very well, I shall not ask on matters regarding the so-called lore if it is that much of a hassle to deal with.
Gudako: That would be appreciated.
He takes a sip from his tea after my response. Oh yeah, it was getting awhile and I didn't want to get blamed for destroying more of the city. Thus I made the very responsible move of running away and then explaining to the Geo Archon what had happened to lead him to this point at a café I found.
Zhongli: But seeing as I left my nation in capable hands and the fact my real self... strange as that concept may be, should still be there. I do suppose I could experience what new worlds have to offer. Very well then, Traveler. Let us sign a contract, do make sure to read its contents.
Then with a wave of his hand, he summons a contract in his hand and gives it to me. I unfurl it and begin reading it... and reading some more... and reading... gah why are there so many words? Speeding up my reading and glossing over maybe important things, I finally finished reading the terms and conditions for the first time in my life.
I don't want to disappoint the literal God of Contracts after all. So pulling a pen out of the system inventory because I won't be beat in summoning random objects out of seemingly thin air, I sign the contract with my horribly written signature. It's mainly about rules and stuff, basically sort of similar to Fate servant things.
Zhongli: Hmm... good. I look forward to working with you and experiencing new things, Traveler. Ah, regarding Mora- or is it a different currency here considering the circumstances?
Gudako: It is a different currency, have a look for yourself.
I pull out a small pouch with varying coins to show him. But wait a second... the Mora! How could I forget?! Can both mine and Gil's treasury handle this man!? I can only hope...
Zhongli: I do hope I don't come off as merely a parasite... I shall do my best to learn common sense regarding this currency.
Gudako: P-please do... my wallet is in danger otherwise...
Well as I fret about my financial situation with Zhongli sitting across me drinking tea along with Kama sitting beside me, I have to remember multiple things first. Like how I just realized I left Heracles and Jack at the park... surely they're fine? I feel like an irresponsible parent! Just have to trust in those two to not wreak total havoc I guess...
But aside from my parental situation and financial situation, we still have the other situation on my hands... the Ragnarok situation. With Zhongli here, my plans are coming along better, but I still need another God or powerful enough Fate servant I can assure victory either through sheer power or them being a perfect counter.
But those 25 rolls were shit aside from Zhongli, it seems my luck all went to getting him out of every other possible character. So the only chance I got is annihilating every possible monster on the planet or doing that dungeon which with my lineup is safe to say, relatively easy compared to the other dungeons I got thrown into. Hmm...
...
Kama: Master... what's with the weird face?
Gudako: I'm thinking...
Kama: Thinking, huh? What about not thinking at all? More accurately... falling into such desire and pleasure that you can't think of anything but me~
Gudako: N-not now, please...
Control yourself. You are the mighty Gudako. The one who refuses all advances from servants. I can do it this time. I will do it this time! I haven't even done it with Guild Girl yet! Yes! So I shall not!
Kama: Oh? You haven't given in to your desires? A shame...
Gudako: Phew...
Kama: I even had something special prepared~
Pfft! N-no, keep calm. Keep calm. I look at Zhongli for help and I can't help but say he looks almost like he is used to this. Don't tell me... the Lumine of his world was a lesbian haremist?!
Zhongli: Though the roles are reversed, this truly does remind me of my days spent with the Traveler.
She actually was! Well, I wouldn't expect anything less of the system considering its history and the questionable-sounding people behind it. Ah, I got it! Virginity shield (Lancelot's Armor)! On! While this doesn't make any sense at first considering what Lancelot did, Kama isn't a married woman. Thus by this logic, I am in fact defended from her at the moment!
That and the helmet help hide my blush and embarrassment from her words, plus it actually helps mute the surroundings a bit since it covers my head. Now then, distractions aside it seems I'll have to do the dungeon. But who to bring? Basically anyone folds the donut maker, I could even donut him with Kirei/Rasputin as payback. Ushi is really fast and good with a blade too...
But I think I got just the one.
-----
Every member of the rag-tag Chaldea I made had gathered in the new headquarters, which Da Vinci had fixed up to function without the need of nearly shattering your mind to wrangle the machine. How? Da Vinci is a genius, a universal genius that is, nothing is impossible for her! So she says anyway...
I also had to explain yet again the complications that arose with people from universes aside from Fate, seeing as they aren't accustomed and used to the whole summoning thing like servants are. I had them all gathered here for another reason aside from explaining things and so they could get to know Zhongli.
I needed a servant to fight for me in this dungeon. Who exactly did I pick? Well...
Gudako: You guys get along with Zhongli, got it? I'm off!
Cu: Oi! Oi! Master! Where are you dragging me off to?!
Gudako: To fight demons!
Cu: What the hell-
Before Cu can finish his cursing, however, Da Vinci rushes up to be... or the best she can carry- is that a bolter?!
Da Vinci: I found this while fixing this walking fortress up! I thought you'd like it, though the ammo capacity I found was a bit lacking... so I increased it, easy as that! No challenge is too much for Da Vinci-chan here!
Gudako: Thanks so much, Da Vinci! I'll make sure to use it well! But uh... seeing as you found this, did you find anything else interesting?
Da Vinci: I found a few other weapons and barely decipherable things here and there... but otherwise... hmm... oh! Mash and Leonidas took down and captured a rather large green monster of some kind that was hanging around. I suppose that is rather interesting! Mind if I study it-
Gudako: Burn it.
Da Vinci: What?
Gudako: Burn it.
Da Vinci: Affirmative, it seems you have reasons for it. Jeanne!
Jalter scowls from the brooding corner of the room that she claimed for herself.
Jalter: What?!
Da Vinci: Master wants you to burn a monster to ashes!
Jalter: Oh? That doesn't sound too bad actually... Right, I'll get to it. Don't expect me to do this all the time though.
I do not want to risk an Ork invasion, I already have goblins to deal with. But donning Lancelot's armor to be able to pick up the bolter with one hand and drag Cu in the other, I set off! Well not set off anywhere really, the system is going to teleport me to the dungeon anyway. Alright! System, I want to use the dungeon key!
[ Confirmed. Which servants does the Host which to bring along with them? Only one servant is allowed in this dungeon. ]
Cu Chulainn, I'm bringing him! Also while I could've just brought Gil and been done with it, I want to have a little more fun than that.
Gudako: Off we go to slay demons!
Cu: Wait! I still don't understand shit about what this is actually about-
[ Confirmed. 2 targets detected. ]
[ Inducing soul stasis... ]
[ Beginning transfer to the chosen dungeon... ]
[ Demon Slayer. ]
Consciousness goes poof in 3, 2, 1-
-----
Third Person P.O.V:
A wrecked train lies derailed, crushed, and dented from its former pristine state. To the side of the destroyed vehicle was a man with bright orange and red hair, helping a younger boy stop his bleeding. This was Kyojuro Rengoku, the current Flame Hashira of the Demon Slayers. The young boy being Tanjiro Kamado, the spark to set the fire that would eventually burn even Muzan.
Alas, Tanjiro did not know this. Nor did Rengoku know of his coming fate. The fate in which he would die protecting the future of the Demon Slayers, a decision which would lead to the downfall of many a demon and many a slayer too. This is how it would go, as Akaza makes his appearance, leaving Tanjiro in shock and Rengoku on edge.
Tanjiro: ( T-those eyes... he's Upper Moon 3! )
In an instant, the newly arrived Upper Moon rushed in and Rengoku prepared to intercept with a breathing form. See, that fate and all supposed events had been thoroughly derailed just like the train after a certain now blonde Master and a blue-haired dog in spandex had arrived on the scene.
*Bang*
A bullet intercepted Akaza and blasted his hand off, which healed almost instantly.
Gudako: Hey there, you donut making shit! Your career ends today!
Gudako stood there, gun smoking and donning a signature look of superiority, as if victory was assured.
Akaza: Tch, a woman...
Cu: A woman? Hmph, I wouldn't discount women that easily if you knew who I knew...
Cu stood slightly ahead of Gudako, spear ready. Akaza simply let out a sound of annoyance at more people to deal with before the fight he was looking forward to.
Akaza: Weaklings... I don't have a need for them to interfere in my chit-chat with the truly strong... die.
Confident in his strength Akaza leapt forward to deal with these strange new intruders. He would deal with the boy after and get what he wanted as well, for Rengoku to become a demon. Little did he know, he lacked the capability to do all three. So as he jumped forward assured of his victory, he was shocked as he found himself flying back and into the train.
Cu: Weaklings, huh? I wouldn't be so sure about that!
Cu leaped forward and upwards, throwing his spear casually at where Akaza was thrown into the side of the train. Akaza had managed to get himself dislodged and dodge in time, but the spear pierced clean through the train and just as quickly flew back to the hand of Cu. Despite this, Akaza had yet to take the fight seriously.
Akaza: Oh? Taking a better look... you are strong. So is that man over there. Are you both Hashiras?
Rengoku: I'm the Flame Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku. As for that man over there... I do not know!
Akaza: Interesting... well, I'm Akaza.
Cu: Yeah yeah, I'm Cu Chulainn.
Akaza: I might as well also say this now then, I loathe weak humans. I can tell that you both, the Hashira and... you, are strong.
Cu looked offended at being referred to like he didn't matter, but he would let him finish his little speech before skewering him.
Akaza: Become a demon. You both can't enter the realm of the highest otherwise. As a demon, you can train for hundreds of years, and you can become stronger. So how about it-
Cu: Pft- hahaha! Can't enter the realm of the highest if I don't become a demon? Man... that's some bullshit. From what my Master told me, you're all a bunch of scum who eat innocents for power, right? If that's what this realm of the highest is... then it's nothing but cheap power built upon mounds of corpses.
Rengoku: I do not know this man, but I agree! I am proud of the skills I have honed through combat and years of training! To cast that and my humanity aside for such power... I cannot accept it! I refuse! Both growing old and dying are part of the beauty of being human. It is what makes human life so precious.
Akaza: I see...
The Upper Moon proceeded to stomp the ground as a blue light emitted from a snowflake pattern that embedded itself onto the earth beneath him.
Akaza: Technique Development! Destructive Death! Compass Needle!
Tanjiro had tried to get up and help, but Gudako stopped him with a good old bonk to the head. He wouldn't be needed with how she knew the fight would go, and with how stubborn Tanjiro was she was just making sure.
Cu: Shouting out move names, huh? Alright then! Gae Bolg!
Gudako had told him to "Cheese the shit out of this boss fight!", which essentially meant Cu was going no holds barred. He was promised a better fight after, Gudako was just in a rush to pull more gacha and get better servants this time around. So as the technique of Akaza deployed and Cu made the motion of throwing his spear...
...
Akaza fell the the floor, heart missing.
...
Gae Bolg... negates regeneration.
Rengoku: Excuse me, ma'am?
Gudako: Yes? ( Even I must admit that was anti-climatic as hell. )
Rengoku: What was that?
Gudako: A super secret technique from a foreign land!
Rengoku: I see... amazing! Such incredible power!
It's a total cheat code in reality though... so long as the enemy isn't a bigger cheat at least.
Cu: I'm not done just yet!
Gudako/Rengoku: What.
Suddenly Cu leaped back 100 meters, and in the same instant, had leaped forward and into the air, preparing to toss his spear.
Gudako: Hey! Cu! That's enough! Stop! He's probably already dead! Don't use the thrown version-
Cu: Gae... Bolg.
...
The ensuing blast had annihilated Akaza into nothingness and half of the train... and the surrounding forest, luckily the passengers had been evacuated by Gudako and Rengoku's quick thinking and work. Meaning Rengoku took care in rushing in and grabbing passengers while Gudako gave up and decided to toss half the train out of the way using her berserker strength.
Cu: Alright, that's all done! How was it, Master?
Gudako: You know that was overkill, right?
Cu: Well you said demons were hard to kill... and I also saw his hands twitching a bit.
Gudako: Fair, if we just assumed he was dead he could've pulled a cliché and caught us by surprise while we celebrated. So besides the damage, great job!
Cu: Yeah! But uh... was that really it?
Gudako: Yes, that was it. This one really wasn't that hard.
As Gudako and Cu relished in their easy victory, a figure walked up to them... it was just Rengoku.
Rengoku: Sorry to interrupt, but may I know who you two are? You certainly aren't demons, but you certainly aren't normal either. You two are... very odd!
Cu: Hmm... just think of us as some foreign warriors passing by, the world is a big place.
Gudako: Yup, full of things you'd never expect! So take care, we gotta get going now.
Rengoku: Ah! I wish to repay you in some way-
Gudako: Don't mind it, it was super easy. Barely an inconvenience! See ya! Don't die!
Rengoku was briefly concerned as the two fell to the floor, seemingly passed out, but then they vanished into thin air. Thoroughly confused, Rengoku got back to helping his fellow demon slayers and the victims of the train crash caused by the Lower Moon, Enmu. This weird occurrence which was no more than a side mission for Gudako had changed the fates of many.
Such were the whims of this gacha-loving gremlin.
-----
Gudako P.O.V:
Alright! That's that! I got only 10 rolls from it though... kinda sucky. But it was sort of expected from such a low-rank dungeon and how easy it was. No fighting off hordes of Daemons or letting me solo bosses. But 10 rolls is all I need because I have a secret weapon up my sleeve! What is that one may ask? Hehe...
Gil: I would not let any other person in the world but you and Enkidu do this, do relish the moment.
Enkidu: Ah, Gil! May I join?
Gil: The answer is obvious, is it not? You may join.
So I sit on the lap of Gil as Enkidu scoots to sit on the throne too. I'm using his absurd luck to my advantage! If he collects all the world's treasures... I shall use him to collect all the world's gacha! My Hakuno privilege remains intact since it's a normal skill, plus Gil haughtily said he permits me to take up his look of blonde hair for the time being.
Mordred: What's this? Looks fun! I want in-
Gil: Who permitted you to even gaze upon this sight? Begone!
Mordred: Wha- hey! I'm blonde too-
Gil: And did I permit you to be blonde like my Master?! I did not! Begone before I lose my patience!
Mordred: Fine then! Just wait until my dad hears about this! Whenever he comes! ... or whenever he bothers to care...
Gudako: Sorry...
Now I just feel bad for her, but gacha comes first. Maybe her dad will come with it too... hopefully. So I tap the buttons in front of me that no one else can see, which ends up making me just look crazy really. Wishing is more dangerous now too, so right now we are on the outskirts of the town so any shooting stars will hit nothing important or any people.
[ Gacha iniated. ]
[ Rolling... ]
[ Congratulations! You've won a character! ]
[ Revealing... ]
Gil really does work in helping the gacha?! That or it's a placebo, but even if it was I'd never take having a loyal Gil who is possibly even stronger than his CCC self due to the system for granted. Anyways the shooting star is... gold! It's gold! I guess gold does attract gold! It arrives and comes crashing into the field of grass ahead of us.
So as debris and stuff come flying at us once again, since for some reason the system thought realistically implementing the summoning animations was a good idea, golden portals open. With a wave of Gil's hand, multiple automatic defense noble phantasms appear and block all the debris.
Gudako: Amazing, Gil!
Gil: Kuahahaha! I would do no less than amazing!
Enkidu looked like he was about to join in on the Gilgamesh hype train. That was until we noticed a blade of purple and electric energy approaching. In an instant chains arose and caught the blade, stopping it dead in its tracks. As the dust cleared a woman dressed in a revealing kimono of the same color emerged. Eh?
[ Congratulations! You've won Raiden Shogun! ]
Don't you think that reveal was a bit late?! Also, what happened to no hurting me, huh?!
[ The attack would have stopped at your neck and no damage would be taken. If she had managed to get past Gilgamesh or Enkidu. The bypassing of system restrictions would also be needed. The possibility of such an occurrence is impossible. ]
That isn't any better! Ugh... but at least I know I'm safe...
Raiden: I ask you... are you a threat to eternity?
Gudako: Eh... I don't think so.
Raiden(?): ... do you have tricolor dango?
Gudako: No, we don't.
Raiden(?): Oh...
Luckily it seems I won't have to deal with explaining to yet another Archon about what their situation is as Zhongli seems to have caught sight of I don't know... the golden shooting star from the sky!?
Zhongli: Traveler, you can focus on your tasks. I shall handle the explanation that needs to be given to my fellow Archon.
Gudako: Ah, thanks for that. I really didn't want to do that again... and again...
Zhongli: I can see why... however I am used to such lengthy explanations. I shall handle it swiftly per our contract.
Gudako: Yeah, the contract! I totally remember! So good luck!
Well threatening introductions aside... I just got the final piece to the puzzle.
Hey system!
Let Ragnarok... begin!
[ Starting Ragnarok 13 days early, are you sure about this decision? ]
I'm sure alright! So c'mon! I'm ready!
[ Confirmed. ]
-----
New Character/s:
Zhongli:
Raiden Shogun/Ei:
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