Chapter : 14 : Yorokobe! Slaying!
Third Person P.O.V:
A city that appears to be ripped straight from a fantasy novel stands tall. Citizens and adventures going about their day. Corpses of monsters being ripped for various parts, smiths melting down magical metals, all of it embodying the elements of a fantasy world. Indeed, this is how it's been for uncountable years and how it will continue to be.
...
If it weren't for the party of misfits that had just brought along a mech the size of a mountain from 40,000 years in the future. The massive imposing figure had taken quite a decent amount of explaining for everyone to get "used" to its presence. More so they had just gotten used to the antics of this odd girl presumed to be from royalty and her party of even more odd people.
Now to add to this party was a genius from the Renaissance, Da Vinci. She had managed to make an explanation that satisfied most of the suspicions of the townsfolk and begrudgingly accepted that the person besides her during her explanation, Rasputin... or more accurately Kotomine Kirei, had managed to use his skills as a priest to add a religious flair that actually helped.
So, the town had gone back to normal... mostly. Mostly because Nobunaga had proceeded to immediately try and re-enact her life by taking over the town for no particular reason, but after being told off resigned to just doing whatever Gudako wanted to do so long as it was fun. That was the explanation she gave to everyone, but it remains to be seen if she will cause a mess.
Now, seeing as everything had gone back to normal and the addition of yet more strange things and people to this world had been settled, Gudako had to settle yet more things. That being the joys of paperwork for the Adventurers' Guild for her new party members. In addition to stopping any more petty squabbles between the servants, they prepared to enter the Guild as they drew closer to the building...
-----
Gudako P.O.V:
Phew, who knew that getting 3 new servants and a new base would be so tiring? Well, we managed to clean up that whole mess that happens whenever I roll from the gacha or come back from a dungeon. Though keeping Da Vinci from blasting the life out of Rasputin- or is it Kirei? Gah! I don't care!
Ahem, but yes dealing with that was a bit problematic. But Kirei did say that was Rasputin who pulled the whole stab to the heart thing and he already left the control of the body to him... so it should be fine. Not really sure, I just have to keep an eye out for any funny business from the man since Kirei isn't much better.
Luckily it isn't too much of an issue, I think! I have Cu who has already dealt with his funny business before to be a guard dog and plenty of other servants who should be able to make short work of him should he manage to try anything. Plus the system is there so he can't stab me in the heart either, if anything he'll just be a troublesome guy for any servants with past memories.
Which turns out to be a good chunk of them from the way Kirei nearly got skewered, blasted, torn in half, and many more the second he was summoned. But the situation is now under control! Nobu isn't causing chaos, Da Vinci is doing her thing, and Kirei isn't murdering orphans and shit! Hooray!
Anyways, we are now at the front door of the Guild. This door is rather big so I guess it does need some strength to open... it's not budging... gah! This is annoying! I prepare to kick it by manifesting the armor of Lancelot on my leg. Take this!
*Bang*
Gudako: Wife! I have some new people to register!
I enter with a bang and point at Guild Girl as I shout, drawing the attention and weirded-out stares of everyone at the Guild... which also seems to be much busier today... didn't think of that. Not that it matters! No one would dare think poorly of my embarrassing introduction! Why? I can feel the glares from behind me from some of the servants- and is that Jack pulling a knife out?!
Gudako: Jack, put away the knife, please? Mommy doesn't want to be arrested for murder, okay?
Jack: Ah! No stabby stabs?
Gudako: No stabby stabs, Jack.
Jack: Aww...
No... she looks so sad it hurts.
Gudako: No stabby stabs... yet that is!
Jack: Yay!
Mash walks up beside me.
Mash: Is it really a good idea to encourage her... habits, senpai?
Gudako: Well not like she'll ever really lose them, so it's best to teach her what is okay to stab and what isn't instead.
Mash: I see... do you have experience with raising kids, senpai?
Gudako: O-Of course not! I'm just doing what I think is best!
Mash: Well then feel free to ask me for help! It'll be like it's our ch- chi- c-child... ignore what I said! Just ask if you need help with anything as my senpai! I'll go settle the uh... taxes!
Gudako: But we don't even pay taxes?!
Too late, she's gone and run off. If anything this got even weirder stares from the people in the Guild and looking to Guild Girl herself, who I meant to get the attention of... she is still blushing red from being called my wife and doesn't seem to be in reality. Perhaps I'm not the best at planning ahead. I need to think before I harem the protagonist!
Gil: What are you all looking at, mongrels? Go back to your business.
And the Gil glare scares them off. I go and mutter thanks to him, to which it seems Gil actually starts glowing even more... just how much can this man stand out?! Anyway enough messing around, still need to register Da Vinci, Kirei, and Nobu. Though they'll start at porcelain rank, meaning I'd have to bring them for a quest that can get them up the gold rank the others are at.
So walking up to the counter which snaps Guild Girl out of her daze, she hastily scrambles to get the papers ready.
Gudako: Hey there! I'll need to register these three!
I point to the new trio consisting of Rasputin, Da Vinci, and Nobu. I've decided to call him Rasputin, if the system says so might as well. Kirei reminds me too much of things, I'd rather pretend he is a funny Russian man who doesn't die, even if said Russian man made a donut of Da Vinci and dashed out once he accomplished his goals. Better than the other one... sorta...
Guild Girl: G-got it, Guda. I'll get to work on it right away and register them with your party under the name of Chaldea-
*Pftttt*
I hear a collective spit-take from multiple of the adventurers and even the co-worker of Guild Girl drops her pen, spilling ink on the desk.
Literally everyone in the Guild: You're Master?!
Ah... I forgot besides Guild Girl and my servants, no one has seen the change in looks from an orange-haired devil of Gacha to a brunette who can get near-omnipotent beings to simp for her. Though I have to be careful with a nickname like that, I feel like it's trying to boost my ego to dangerous levels by making me feel in charge of everyone.
Gudako: Yes, yes, I am. If you are curious, it's magic.
Hehe, my trusty excuse for anything unexplainable, magic! I don't need to explain shit!
Guild Girl: Same response as usual, I see. Ah, but I do need to remind you that your new party members will start off at porcelain rank. Seeing as they weren't there when you slew the dragon their capabilities aren't yet determined like the others, but I'm sure they'll prove themselves soon enough knowing you, Guda.
Gudako: Hehe, of course they will!
Well, I'm certain Da Vinci will prove her usefulness immediately in getting Chaldea aka the massive titan parked outside the city working. As for Nobu and Rasputin... well they'll prove useful when we need a so-called demon king and an actual demon to beat the shit out of stuff with more modern weaponry than most servants.
Guild Girl: As expected, but while you are here... are you going to take on any new quests?
Gudako: Yeah, actually! So are there any new Goblin quests-
I felt shoved out of the way, however, I got caught luckily-
Rasputin: Be careful, a little stumble can send even the mightiest crashing down hopelessly.
Gudako: U-understood..
Both my thoughts and words were interrupted, maybe I'm not so lucky... but what's with that ominous line in the first place, huh?! Ahem, pushing myself off from him I mutter a thanks and look at the perpetrator. He appears to be a man with brown hair tied in a ponytail oddly similar to cu, wielding a spear and some fancy blue armor trimmed with gold.
...
What's with this Cu knock-off?! No matter how you look at it this is some off-brand fantasy setting Cu Chulainn! No... wait... if I remember correctly this guy's name is Spearman, and he was actually inspired by Cu. So yeah, I guess the resemblance is intentional. Though the real thing and the faker being in the same room is sort of weird to think about.
Spearman: See here, I was able to handle a troll's attack like this, and with just a hair's breadth!
I see him do a dramatic arm swing as if to demonstrate his actions. Seriously, after shoving me out of the way you try to hit on MY girlfriend?! Damn you! However, it seems Guild Girl is also annoyed by him shoving me out of the way and his weird way of flirting, as I can see the very aggressive grip on her pen as well as her service smile twitching.
Guild Girl: I-I see... good job. I understand that Trolls are strong enemies so-
Spearman: I faced the troll with just a spear. I'm amazing, aren't I?!
He slicks back his hair and radiates an aura of pure inflated ego. Who do you think you are now?! Gilgamesh?! I can practically feel the bloodlust of Lancelot wanting to be unleashed! I feel the armor manifesting until suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's... Cu? He walks toward Spearman and then shoves him out of the way.
Cu: And I faced far worse monsters (Scathach) with just a spear, so get your head out of the clouds and stop being so rude. You're reminding me of my younger days when I'd hit on and sleep around with just about anybody. I ain't the most proud of that either, so get your act together and stop hitting on taken people!
Spearman: W-what?! I'm just going after beauties! There can't be anything wrong with that!
Cu: There can be something wrong with that, dumbass! Who do you think you are?!
Spearman: The best and hottest spearman around, obviously!
Cu: Hah?! Now that's some big talk!
It somehow went from defending me and reprimanding Spearman to a spear-measuring contest... great. At least the front desk is open again, so while they go resolve that I walk back up to Guild Girl.
Guild Girl: Sorry about that... I don't like adventurers who act all high and mighty either, but most of them get those egos from their strength and the Guild needs that strength. So, unfortunately, I have to keep up appearances no matter how annoying.
Gudako: It's fine, I don't mind it too much.
Guild Girl: About the Goblin quests, however, there are-
Goblin Slayer: How many?
Gah! Where did he appear from?! That aside... can people learn to stop interrupting? Seriously! What happened to manners!?
Guild Girl: There are 3, but the rewards aren't that good... do you two still want to take them?
Gudako/Goblin Slayer: Of course, the only good goblins are dead goblins.
Was that... perfectly synchronized? We give each other a look and a nod, it seems the power of angry helmeted people killing Goblins runs strong! However, this little moment is interrupted by a sudden force wrapping around me, looking down I see- oh! It's Priestess!
Priestess: Master! Thank goodness you are fine! I was really worried! Oh! Hello there as well, Mr. Goblin Slayer. Thank you both very much for saving me and my party!
Goblin Slayer just gives a nod in response, but now that actually reminded me of something.
Gudako: You don't have to answer if it's hard... but how are the other two surviving members of your party doing? The Wizard Girl and the Fighter?
Priestess: Oh...
Gudako: A-ah! It must still be too early after all! It's fine!
Priestess: That's not it! It's fine, really! But as for their conditions... both of them are still shaken up about it and healing. I've checked up on them already but they weren't like how they were before the quest... it's saddening, to say the least...
Gudako: Oh... my apologies.
I feel a spark of anger rise back up at the thought Goblins caused this much damage to those two poor girls, even with my interference. However, I have to get this topic to something less depressing fast! I'd rather not make the atmosphere so sad with Priestess around, she's like a cute little puppy, and I don't want to see her sad!
Gudako: A-ahem! But I'm sure you came here for something else, right?
Priestess: Y-yes! Actually, I was going to talk about how I thought it was a bit extreme that Mr. Goblin Slayer used a flame potion to destroy a Goblin Cave.
Gudako: Is that so? Well, I'll leave you two to discuss that, but before I go... Goblin slayer! Mind if I take the other two quests?
Goblin Slayer: Not a problem, just don't be as reckless, goblins will take advantage of that.
Gudako: Noted and thanks! Though... don't you usually stay back until everyone has left to take the goblin quests?
Goblin Slayer: That is usually the case, but that was before I had someone else also taking Goblin quests despite the relatively low rewards.
Gudako: Ahaha... sorry about that...
Goblin Slayer: It's not an issue, the less goblins there are-
Gudako: The better. Gotcha, so good luck on your quest too! See you two later!
Priestess: Thanks! You too!
Goblin Slayer: Goodbye. Let's get going, we can discuss what you wanted to speak about on the way.
Priestess: U-understood!
After getting one of the Goblin subjugation quests the two finally head out as I wave goodbye to get ready for the quest. Goblin Slayer sure does like making preparations after all, not that I can blame him. Even so, I want to be extra careful, so with a snap and a gust of wind, Hassan appears beside me.
Gudako: Hey Hassan, mind watching out for those two? Just follow behind unnoticed, if anything looks to be going downhill go and help.
Hassan: Understood, Master. I'll be going then.
Then he disappears, and it seems no one even noticed. That's a top assassin for you! Well except for Guild Girl who was right in front of me, but she's gotten relatively used to the servants who have been here for a while already. Now then, it looks like the two remaining quests are to clear out a camp of goblins and a wandering pack of goblins looking for a place to set up camp.
Gudako: These are the only other goblin quests left, right?
Guild Girl: Yes, they are.
Gudako: Anyone else accept them?
Guild Girl: The one Mr. Goblin Slayer took just now was accepted by three rookies since the quest location was closer than these two. So at least for these two quests right here, no one has taken them yet.
Gudako: Got it, so... as for who will take which quest...
-----
Third Person P.O.V:
Rasputin: Nature is truly beautiful, is it not? The Lord has truly done such great work.
Cu could only sigh as he walked side by side with a man he would rather not be anywhere close to right now. He had been asked to go along with him and Nobunaga to make sure the two got the quest done and didn't get into any trouble. He was trustworthy after all, but this decision left him wondering if his Master was secretly a sadist.
Nobunaga: Wahahaha! An age with only swords and magic, huh? I'll show these fools the might of the great Demon King of the Sixth Heaven... and this gun!
Cu: Yes... yes...
The three had arrived at a nearby river, the last location where a pack of goblins were reported to be sighted. Checking around the trio saw nothing of note, no cackling goblins, no tapping of their footsteps. Just the sound of the river and the trees swaying in the wind. At least, that's what it appeared to be, for not a moment later an arrow comes flying straight at Cu.
*Snap*
To which he catches and snaps with his bare hands.
Cu: Really? Of course, it's me first...
Rasputin: No use in fretting over one's misfortunes. This is a great opportunity, let us make the most of it-
*Bang*
*Bang*
*Bang*
Nobunaga: Fuhahahahaha, die! Die!
As Cu and Rasputin were conversing, Nobunaga had already begun blasting the trees indiscriminately in a rain of bullets. While not accurate at all, a hail of lead from hundreds of summoned guns was bound to hit some goblins, and it had, with a few of the bodies falling out of the trees.
Rasputin: I see the festivities have already begun. Allow me to join.
He then aimed a rocket launcher at the forest.
Cu: Did you just pull out a rocket launcher from out of nowhere?
Rasputin: Indeed. Now, these creatures shall repent in death.
*Boom*
*Bang*
*Boom*
*Bang*
An unforgiving rain of bullets and rockets had reduced the forest and the hidden goblins within to chunks of meat and ash. So despite Cu's despair over being paired with two absolute weirdos, one of them being PTSD-inducing, the quest can still be considered...
...
A resounding success!
Rasputin: A job well done, I'd say.
Nobu: Fuhahaha! All reduced to ash by my hand and hellfire! Umu, a truly enjoyable task this was. Now the land itself knows the power of I, the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Nobunaga!
Cu: ( I want to go home already... )
-----
A blonde knight along with a white-haired angry French woman can be seen walking through a forest. Along with them, following just behind were two people who appeared to be from the same region based on their clothing and weapons. This party of 4 was of course one consisting of Mordred, Jeanne d'arc Alter, Ushiwakamaru, and Sasaki Kojiro.
Mordred: Why can't I just blast the entire cave away again?
Ushi: Because we would cause a landslide and inconvenience Master with the damages, one should never cause such trouble to their superiors.
Mordred: Ah yeah... right... collateral damage and all that. Was never good at minimizing that... at least according to the reports Bedivere made to my dad anyways. I thought I did pretty well though! What are a few bystanders to the success of the mission?
Sasaki: It seems I must make sure Master isn't one of those bystanders then, a sword should be refined and honed to strike only what one wishes to cut down.
Mordred: A sword is a sharp metal stick I beat the shit out of people with! I'm also not dumb enough to blast my attacks in her direction, not like the weird voice thingy would let me either way.
Ushi: While I would like to discuss my views on swords as well... does anyone know where Jeanne went?
Mordred: The try-hard edge lord?
Sasaki: The French woman? I can't say that I know her whereabouts...
As the three were wondering this, high-pitched screams of pain and a pale orange glow were seen in the distance. Guessing that in all likelihood this was Jeanne Alter, they ran forward, though Ushi had gained a decent lead considering her specialization in speed. Nonetheless, they all reached the source of the glow and screams.
Jalter: Oh? It seems you finally arrived. A bit too late however, you've missed the fun part of burning these scum to ash.
Mordred: Kill stealer! I wanted to beat some skulls in! Damnit, this is lame!
Ushi: N-no... beheading? Truly disappointing indeed...
Sasaki: A shame, I wished to at least practice my skills so as to not get rusty.
Jalter: Can the complaints, I'm sure Master will find some other quest soon enough. Let's get going already, I want to get praised for doing all the work- I mean the reeking stench of filth is strong here, so I'll be leaving already. N-not that I am in any particular rush besides that reason...
Ushi / Mordred / Sasaki: ( ...so easy to read... )
Jalter: W-what are you all looking at me like that for? Do you wish to be burnt as well?! I'll do it!
...
Quest status?
...
Complete.
-----
Gudako P.O.V:
So, I already sent out who I thought would be good for those quests. Though more accurately whoever worked together previously, involves some form of a meme, or who I trust, even a combination of all three. Even with how questionable some of the servants are, I'm confident the goblin quests are already basically taken care of.
With that out of the way, currently, I'm just watching Jack play around with Heracles as I am resting once again on my Kama pillow. Basically a normal day of my life currently. I sent out Da Vinci to fix the Titan and get it ready to serve as the new Chaldea, I also let her take Mash and Leonidas along in case there were any hitchhiking threats on board.
As for Enkidu and Gil? Well I sort of felt bad they didn't get proper reunion time, so I let them have it, though I asked for them to do it far enough away that no populated areas would be affected. Which is why I am just going to ignore the swirling clouds and the faint outline of a massive flower. They really are going at it a lot lately, huh?
Thinking about other things, however, which is about what I got from my recent gacha rolls! I can see some uses for the Grail Muds, but I realized something horrible. I can't even use the ultimate ability dungeon... it's for Gudako. While I still use that name to avoid more confusion, I am currently Hakuno... meaning the dungeon key is completely useless right now.
Sigh, that tragedy aside I got a report from Hassan earlier where he said he managed to rescue the idiots who took on the quest before Goblin Slayer. Afterward, he disappeared to keep monitoring those two, but it's nice to know that my presence is making a difference in this world. I'd rather it not be as dark as it was supposed to be and still is for the most part.
While it is nice sitting here under the sun with my Kama pillow watching Jack and Heracles bond along with thinking of how to save this world and make it better... I still need to think about how to save my own ass right now! It's leisurely right now but I just have 15 days to prepare for a goddamn tournament with gods!
Ugh... I think I already have some sort of a game plan here, but I'm missing a few people for it to be complete. Not to call anyone weak, but some of the servants just aren't cutting it for the level of people we are dealing with, or their specialties lie in things that aren't 1v1 duels. If I can't find a solution to fill in said slots I'm screwed-
[ Notice: Legendary Beast [Tarrasque] has been slain. ]
Excuse me? By who?! When?! How?!
[ Legendary Beast [Tarrasque] was slain by servants Gilgamesh and Enkidu. ]
Oh... that makes sense. But to think that big monster I was worrying about taking down before got killed by getting caught in the crossfire of those two... scary...
[ Rewards for the slaying of Legendary Beast [Tarrasque] are as follows: 25 rolls, [Fragment of Protagnilium x1] (EX), [Vial of Tarrasque's Might x1] (A+). ]
Another character changes so soon?! Oh! I can go back to Gudako with this and get the ultimate ability! But... would that help with the tournament? I doubt I'd hold up well against literal gods... so maybe getting someone who can unlock more characters would be better. Hmm... the latter is the better option for now, no matter how much I want to say a cool chant than spam swords.
But who? It's either the Commander or Lumine. The Commander unlocks a much bigger pool... but a decent chunk of those, no matter how hot the girls may be, aren't going to cut it when facing literal gods. So, if gods are the problem... then I'll fight fire with fire! A world full of gods gives me a much bigger chance of getting someone capable of combating gods!
...
Hehe... more gacha and characters...
...
A-ahem! Alright! System! Use the fragment and choose... Lumine! Let's get this tournament arc started!
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