Captains lament

-Captain America POV-

The Backpack wasn't heavy on my shoulders but it looked heavy so the constant stares were a little warranted. I looked at the old man looking at me with barely contained anger in his eyes and I turned away to find the way myself instead of asking the natives.

Ground Zero has been left as is ever since 1945 as a remembrance of what happened and how they came out of the tragedy. It was a stark contrast to the industrious city with all of the modern-looking architecture. Just an old ruined observatory-like building with black charred walls and similarly burned buildings around it, the ruins were a symbol left behind so that people don't forget the cruelest decision that humanity has ever taken.

"How much longer will you stay watching that?" I turn and find a red-headed American woman standing there in a blue dress with a brown cap a white sneakers with her arms crossed. I raise a brow at her question as I explain "Until my mind can conjure an image of how the whole city must have looked like on that day"

She frowns and stands beside me to gaze at the charred walls "Do you reckon they knew?" I shake my head as I tell her "It would have been a normal day like this, people going about their lives and suddenly the oxygen in your lungs are on fire, your clothes and skin have burned in a second and your nerves will have just enough time to register the pain to your brain before your eyes melt off and you are left with feeling the pain of your death"

I look at her and find her looking horrified at my description, she remarks in an even tone "You know a lot about it huh" I look back at the charred walls as I tell her "I had to, my country made its choice and I must face the result it has borne" She turns to me before holding out her hand "Natasha Romanova" I take her hand "Steve Rogers"

I start walking away and she follows beside me while I ask her "Did Fury have another one of his propositions to make me join SHIELD or does he need the Avengers so soon" Natasha scoffs as she says "I was here for a mission and I wanted to meet the legend himself." I chuckle at her lie and she continues "And the Avengers is kind of like the U.N I would say. Meant to have a great purpose but is only there as a trophy"

I frown at her as we sit down at the table of an open restaurant with some cute yellow cat and a kid's pictures drawn everywhere "You think the Avengers aren't needed" she spreads her hands as she says "I'm not saying they aren't, I'm just saying unless something really and I do mean really, big comes up the Avengers is just a name in the files" A maid appears and I gesture at Natasha as I request "Can you order for me? Please" Natasha looks at me with a raised brow but takes the Menu card and orders whatever it is in perfect Japanese.

What I meant by Perfect Japanese was that it was a similar accent to all the people I have met in this city, unlike the Tokyo accent. Once she finished ordering I remarked to dig for information "Must be hard learning the language of whatever country you are entering" but all she gave me was a non-answer "Sometimes not knowing the language helps in blending in better" I smiled as I asked her "So being one of the two evengers without any chemicals in them must feel great eh?" She looks at me in disbelief as she asks me "What's so great about that, I felt like a diversity hire?"

I cough to cover my surprise before I tell her "Don't you think it's great that you are here because you worked hard, instead of being here because an old man decided that you were a reasonably sane person and gave you everything you ever wanted with a bottle of juice" I look up at her only to find her giving me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes and her eyes full of sadness was masked quickly before I can ask her what happened as she says "I think we are talking about Clint here"

-Natasha POV-

Conversation with Steve felt normal, as if talking about international Spy agencies, governments, and people with unimaginable power was just another normal Tuesday. It felt like I was talking to an equal, someone who could understand exactly what I was talking about.

I found the notion of Captain America silly because all patriotic things and people are silly in their beliefs and that sort of thing is unrealistic in warfare but talking to Steve made me realize something.

He is smart.

He looks like a Rugby Jock, an adrenaline junky who has a cheerleader girlfriend but he is a smart PHD bachelor in reality. He didn't use a shield because he was a softy. He used it because he knew he was strong enough to win the war without killing most.

Maybe that's why he is here, to see for himself why they needed to do it twice when once was enough to deter Japan. All of this only makes him more of a good person than I'll ever be if I don't clean the red on my ledger, no wonder Coulson is gaga over him. He is a good idol to have.

When he said that I was great for reaching where I am by my merit how can I be happy for that when the blood in my ledger was the reason I was hired by Shield in the first place? That and Clint vouching for me is the reason why I am where I am, talking to a man whose honor is so above mine I will never be able to reach him.

So when he described my apparent achievements to me all I could do was smile defeatedly as I told him "I think we are talking about Clint here" he just smiled as he said "I heard he is a good shot" I tried to downplay Clint like the good friend I am "With a bow, he is" he looks surprised as he says "Surely his aim must be good with other weapons" I smirk as I tell him "Good enough I suppose" He smiles as the food is served and remarks "I wager in front of you anyone would be just good enough"

I smile and nod while eating the Tamagoyaki, we eat the food in silence, and when it's time to pay he insists "I am paying by the way" but I smirk as I tell him "And how would you do it, you don't know the langua..." But Steve surprises me once again as he thanks the waitress in broken Japanese before paying for the meal.

As we move out of the restaurant I ask him "When did you learn Japanese?" He smiles as he says "On the way to Japan" I shake my head in exasperation as he tells me "Tell Fury I won't be working for S.H.I.E.L.D, at least not right now" I sigh as I have to convince him now at least for Coulson "You owe S.H.I.E.L.D for the house, the money and this trip to Japan you know" He looks at me with raised eyebrows as he says "It was all paid for by my war pension"

I scoff as I tell him "And the government will pay a dead man his war pension for how long. S.H.I.E.L.D has requested the President as soon as you were out of the ice to reinstate the pension and by the way, the Japanese Visa isn't supposed to be that easy to get" he looks torn as he says "Tell me the name of the Agent who did that for me and I'll thank him myself but working for a Spy agency because they gave me a couple of million dollars is not part of my M.O" he walks away and I sigh and reveal something that stops him "The mission involves the man who did all of that for you." He stops so I continue "It's Coulson and his life might be in danger so we need your help with that" he sighs and turns around and I know that he just agreed to the mission.

He remarks as he walks past me "You did come here to convince me" I wince as he seems to remember my earlier lie about being here to meet him.