Idiocy

Ezekiel learned a lot in just a day.

His fan was a crazy, but airheaded woman named Alleen Kühn that lived just four rooms away.

His landlady next door became his girlfriend.

His NoobTube career paled in comparison to a ProTuber's.

Finally, his body had its limits.

"Was I injected with stimulants or something?" he asked himself. "I'm feeling hornier than I've ever been."

Ezekiel didn't know if it was because he lost his virginity or conquered his fear of Alleen. Thinking about it now, it was really because Elle left her scent in Ezekiel's bed.

"What's wrong with me? I nearly killed someone and here I am, pitching a tent on my bed. I'm not going to rub one out in the bathroom anymore, especially not because my room smells like Elle. I'm responsible, not a perverted weirdo."

Despite focusing his mind on his future, the aroma of Elle wafted through his nose, like a bedeviling mist.

"My God, I'm going to have to leave again. I should get my clothes too."

Ezekiel rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Since I'm already going, I might as well bring the bed sheets. The pillow cover too."

Going through with his plan, Ezekiel left his bed with the fabrics in hand.

"FUCK!!"

He stumbled and slammed his knee against the door.

"Gah, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Ezekiel clutched his leg and gingerly rubbed it. Luckily, the fabrics cushioned his head or the damage would've been worse.

"A bag? What, is it hers? Goddamn it, you annoying bitch! Involving me in your dumbass crap, scaring the crap out of me, and pissing me off! Fucking Hell!"

During his most unchristian rant, he didn't forget to search the offending bag.

"Candles. Fuck. How big is the hole in her brain!? Honestly!"

Ezekiel wasted a few minutes cursing Alleen and waiting for the pain to subside. Irritatingly, the pain remained as a constant bother whenever he moved his leg. Despite the interruption, he was doubly incited to leave his room or else he would totally lose it.

Outside, the late afternoon cooled down. A steady amount of sunlight brightened up the day, but would disappear within a few hours.

Unlike the first time, Ezekiel moved with a definite purpose. He long lost his boner from breathing in the smell of the fabric in his arms. Rather, he brought the bag of candles with him. It riled him up too much for lewd thoughts.

In a matter of minutes, he went to Alleen's room to drop off the bag and then reentered the laundry room. The small lightbulb dangled above his head, with a loose metal pull chain next to it.

"I'm getting a sense of déjà vu," Ezekiel sighed.

He discovered Alleen's things were already gone and his clothes also went through the dryer machine.

"No way… Did I just get an underling or something?"

The previous fury began to subside when he remembered how he must've looked like a total gangster.

"But she really is the type to get ordered around easily, isn't she? It didn't take long for the bullied to become the bully, huh."

Ezekiel thought something was awakening inside of him as he stuffed the washing machine.

"Is this what it's like to be responsible? No, was this what she meant by being in control? I can't be turning into a pervert, now, can I?"

His heart thumped.

In the casual lifestyle he lived so far, the few comparisons he could draw to this feeling were to horror or survival games. XXX too, obviously.

"Must be the aftereffects of watching too much dominatrix XXX. No, it must've been having XXX with Elle. No way am I like that crazy weirdo. There's no way."

Ezekiel gathered his clothes and returned to his room, having hid his newly arisen erection under his balled up clothes along the way. Staying in that dim and enclosed room was too dangerous, as it left too much to his imagination.

"I can't be found like this. I'm no exhibitionist!"

It was at this time, he wished he had a hamper, but he didn't since Elle usually took care of everything. Again, Ezekiel regretted being a NEET for so long. Shame and embarrassment followed him to his room.

The safety of his room was like a haven from the judgement of society. There, with his bolted door and familiar computer, Ezekiel didn't need to answer to anyone. He put away his clothes and set up a timer for an hour to roughly estimate the wash cycle.

"I should quit NoobTube," Ezekiel sighed. "My videos are crap and no one wants to watch them."

Getting a full-time job would take up his time now. He also had to consider making time for Elle. There wasn't any reason to continue, since his fan was that damnable Alleen instead of his precious Elle.

"And to think I thought it mattered. All that wasted time… couldn't I have just spent it with Elle? What was wrong with me?" he shook his head.

Ezekiel sifted through his channel's oldest videos. There were the classic clickbait thumbnails and titles about playing through free online games. Then there were the cringey videos where he reacted to popular NoobTube videos and trends. The entire channel was bland and poorly designed. He was actually thankful Elle never saw this. Still, it gave him a nostalgic feeling.

He enjoyed a whole seven years growing it and improving his editing skills. Even now, he thought his recent videos were clever and concise. Or maybe it was his stubborn pride saying that?

"It's probably because I never revealed my face. People like associated personally with the people they watch. With my uninteresting voice, it's no wonder no one cared."

He felt a calm sense of misguided clarity as he stared at his YouTube channel.

"I guess this is goodbye, CorporalKid. Godspeed."

Ezekiel logged out of his account and began deleting his worst video files. Although he couldn't bring himself to delete everything, he forced himself to clean up his computer for some space.

The timer alerted him after freeing up four gigabytes of space.

"Ugh."

He stretched out his arms and back. Then, he left his room. He uneventfully put his fabrics through the dryer and went back to clearing files. When his timer alerted him again, he grabbed his fabrics and brought them to his room after turning off the laundry room light.

He didn't notice some of the tenants going to their rooms or leaving elsewhere. He was too focused on moving forward.

About 300 gigabytes were wiped from Ezekiel's hard drives and USB flash drives. Considering that to be enough for today, he turned off his computer and fixed his bed. He laid in his blanket and browsed through some entertaining videos on his phone.

At midnight, Ezekiel plugged his phone in to charge and slept in his slacks and dress shirt.

He woke up late in the morning to Elle shaking his arm.

"...Morning, Elle," he drowsily yawned.

"It's almost 10, Eze. I've got breakfast!"

He peeked from underneath his blanket and spotted a cup of Columbian blend coffee, corned beef hash with an omelette, and a slice of buttered toast. Its smell tempted him from sleep, forcing Ezekiel to ravage her meal like a plague of locusts.

"Really, Eze. I keep telling you to brush your teeth before eating."

Elle fiddled with her hair, sitting at the edge of Ezekiel's bed with her more usual dark blue jeans and light grey T-shirt.

"Oh? I don't remember you telling me yesterday," he teased.

Elle's face flushed, but she remained adamant.

"That was different. What happened to Mr. Responsible from yesterday?"

Ezekiel froze mid-bite of his toast. He put it down on the tray and squirmed out of his blanket.

"You're right," he said, seriously looking into Elle's eyes. "I promised you."

Elle's face heated up more, but she soon regained her cool and flicked his forehead.

"Ow!"

"You're seven years too early to be like that! Becoming an adult isn't just talk! It's action, too!"

Ezekiel harrumphed against her lecturing. He continued eating with a smile though since she truly cared about him.

"Anyway, I added you to my insurance already. The updated proof of insurance came in the mail already, so keep this in your wallet with your license."

Ezekiel left the papers on his keyboard.

"Get ready to go out with me today."

"Eh? Why?"

"To go on a test drive, obviously. I need to check your driving skill. We also need to get you new clothes and a new haircut."

"I'm fine with what you already got me. And just cut my hair for me, like always."

Elle groaned at Ezekiel's apathy to his appearance, and yet, felt endeared at his dependence on her.

"Wait, that won't do! Don't you want a job? Actually, why don't you want to go out with me?"

"Ah, you know what I mean," Ezekiel said, flustered at the pressuring. "Aren't we tight on money?"

"You can't be cheap on looks!" Elle declared. "We're going shopping and that's final!"

Ezekiel gave in and finished up eating. He bade Elle goodbye as she left him to freshen up.

An hour later, he joined Elle outside his room.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"It has. Let's go!"

Ezekiel dumbly followed Elle and couldn't find the words to describe how he felt. Suddenly, she stopped.

"What happened to your leg?"

He snapped out of his trance at the sound of her worried voice.

"Hm? Oh, I fell on something. It's nothing."

"No, it's not just 'nothing.' We should get it looked at."

"I told you, it's nothing. See?"

Ezekiel lifted up his pant leg, exposing purple and swollen bruising.

"Well, it looks worse than it feels. Trust me."

"..."

Elle gave him a look and shook her head.

"I won't let you drive like this. We'll do it when your better. For now…" she paused and linked arms with Ezekiel. "I'll help you down."

Ezekiel gave an awkward laugh as she escorted him to the parking lot.

"...It's the old Subrua Outback."

He limped over to the car and rubbed the bonnet. It shined despite its old age, showing dedicated maintenance. The dark blue paint job hardly looked any different.

"Hurry up, Eze. Don't keep a lady waiting!" Elle called from the driver's seat.

"I'm coming!"

He hopped into the passenger seat and buckled up. Elle reversed and drove out into the street. They left the dingy Southwest neighborhood for the downtown Roupe area. As it coincided with the central business district, there was a mix between the newer tech industry and the older shipping and fishing industries of the port city.

Elle focused on driving, so Ezekiel watched the roadside. They passed by billboards and intersections. Then, they came across a blocked road.

"Ugh. I forgot there was construction."

Elle followed a slow-moving line through an alternate path.

"What're they building that takes up so much space?" Ezekiel asked, seeing three entire streets occupied.

"The Paple Conglomerate is finishing up its noise control project," Elle told Ezekiel. "You moved here three years after their noise control project began, so you don't know how loud Oupree was before. Well, the port city is called The Roué now."

Elle honked as a red Chev Camadillo squeezed in front of her. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out.

"Stay in line, jackass!"

She coolly withdrew and rolled up her window.

"What were we talking about again?"

"The, um, noise control project."

"Oh! The old ships and dockyards annoyed the new businesses. It didn't help that mariner biologists said the noise disturbed the wildlife too. The chairman of the Paple Conglomerate personally ordered for it to be fixed and so here we are. Most of the early foundation dampened the noise, but when they're finished, it won't be a public disturbance anymore."

Elle pulled into Vienen Park Mall and found a parking spot in the middle of the lot.

"We're here!"

Ezekiel stepped out of the car unsteadily. He didn't feel ready to be in public, but forced himself since Elle was here. It was time to change.