Glass Ghost

Trigger Warning

*profanity*

*emotional abuse (narcissism, gaslighting, shaming)*

*anxiety/depression*

*divorce*

*cheating*

"I'm not going to promise that I'd die for you, but I can promise that I will live for you. And I will fight for you." All this war, the chaos that trailed, Those words would be the death of me- the death of the person of who i once was. 

White- The color that you shouldn't wear after Labor Day, but it can mean something more- like for a bride, i didn't expect to be standing in a wedding dress today, but i am- " I take you to be my partner for life. I promise above all else to live in truth with you. And communicate fully and fearlessly" i never expected to be standing here today- or to be getting married, i didn't even expect to make it past my 21st birthday. 

" I promise to be faithful and supportive and always make our family's love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and triumph, i will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person- my love and my love today and always." 

Why did I say that all those years ago- if I knew what would have happened I would have never put on that dress. I never would have said yes all those years ago. I would have disappeared. Just like how I wish I could now. 

" No- don't say that- you never loved me- you loved the fucking chase, the chase you wanted to feel like the hunter and not the hunted. You broke every piece of me- I loved you with all of my being." " marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life-" 

It was silent- 

if you dropped a pin the neighbors would hear. 

But they wouldn't be able to hear the glass shattering- 

Or my heart breaking one last time. 

Or even the numbness waiting to settle in.

" These past 5 years- i gave you everything." biting back the tears, my eyes burned from the dam waiting to break free, "I gave you my all my soul. I put everything i had into this relationship." her words shot back with the venom spilling from her tongue, "I never asked you to- you were the one who kept saying, oh im so sad she died, or he deserved better. Well, you know what? You say you gave your everything but all i got was lies and deception from your twisted games." 

I let out a dry laugh, " My twisted games? Where the hell did you get that from? I wasnt the one who became a narcissist, i wasn't the one who sat on her ass while i worked 3 jobs, and cleaned the house, and did everything for you- yet you treated me like shit. You treated me like i was nothing, and you said that i was ugly fat, and a good-for-nothing s**nk." with her wicked ways and selfishness, she played into the victim, "Oh really im the narcist look how you're acting now, you will never find another woman like me, i loved you till the day you cheated-" 

" Oh no you dont start- i wasnt the one that stayed out late at night on the fucking corner with some random guy acting like a two-timing cheating w**re. And you said ill never find anyone like you- i hope i never do, i dont think i will even date anyone after how fucked up you made me." with that it pissed her off. With one swift swing, *smack* i was on the ground holding my jaw, as her punch hit my face and the impact didn't catch up to me because of the adrenaline. 

I was always scared of upsetting her or hurting her, but now I see her for what she is. " Go to hell Margret, may god have mercy on the soul you damned to hell- I hope we never meet again. Karma will come for you." With that I left, for better- because my journey is just beginning- but also ending.