I Can't Spend My Quartz because Mama Archer!

"This world is insane. I want to go back to killing ISIS. The Trojan fuck-up wasn't as annoying as this."

The Red Man muttered random things in his tiny corner with a sweet princess knight trying to reach out to him.

"AHAHAHA! Quartz Quartz Quartz! Quick Berserker! Hand me the next stack of account books! Moshi Moshi, you're still here? Yeah, another account transfer, please!"

Honestly, this was a steal!

It turns out that the captives were more useful than I first thought. All it took to meet Azazel was to ring the doorbell on his mansion, which we somehow found by finding the most lavish estates in town. With only two dead, Freed and Raynare, Azazel wasn't very troubled at all when the rest of the trash mobs were captured alive. It turns out that no one liked Freed, I wonder why? Blue-haired crow, Lolita crow, and Edgelord crow eagerly gave all the details to prove that they were misled by false orders, which somehow led back to Kokabiel.

The Sacred Gear Extractor which was slated to be destroyed by an old blanket order made by Azazel. That somehow found its way to Raynare's and the trash mobs' hands, had added to the evidence that Mister Koko tried to derail Azazel's Sacred Gear research and start trouble within Devil territory. It turns out that only Raynare should have been in Kuoh for a very subtle reconnaissance on Issei Hyoudou… so we ended up doing Azazel favor by keeping Issei out of devil hands for now, as he was already aware that the devils were aware of Issei.

Then again, it's not that surprising considering the fact that he had a mansion in Kuoh for YEARS. Well, I pretty much sold Issei Hyoudou out by detailing what I knew using the disposal familiar I snuck into Issei's bag, learning that he was invited out to see the Gremory group after school. After conspiring with the Fallen Angel Governor, he sent pictures of tits to Issei with a written letter of apology, which I got Archer to deliver to his lunch desk before lunchtime was over.

The last I saw of Issei was that he somehow fell for the trap and ditched school for a "guaranteed" chance to grope some fallen angel tits. Not my problem. I just wanted to squeeze as much money as I could from Azazel. To that extent, I sold him a set of black keys of each color. He needed it for his particular ghost cutting Sacred Gear anyways.

I wasn't too concerned about them being used against us since the conceptual strength wasn't even Servant tier… unless I had a Vampire-like Servant like Vlad and Azazel was secretly Amakusa in disguise. Anyways, the sexy goatee fallen angel liked the Black Keys, and after I had Archer negotiate for a good price in my stead, we were given a lot of small account books that no one bothered to cash out since the budget assigned to these guys couldn't be used. Yeah, dead agents and a backlog of accounts will do that. It helps that the amount wasn't significant in Azazel's eyes.

… I feel as if something left me at that moment.

Ah, so it worked after all. The Pleasant Chance Craft Essence effect had worn off. This meant that my once-in-a-lifetime chance granted by the CE was granted, and the effect was gone. To think that a 2-Star CE would be so useful in manipulating events so tightly to my monetary benefit… I'll never call my 1 and 2 Star CE's "fodder" anymore. No, they are my stackable bread and butter powers!

Stacking "Technique" CE's will let me learn anything faster! Tenacity increases my body's limits to a point. Divine Inspiration will nudge me in the right direction. I shall exploit this to the fullest!

After I pull in my next set of rolls.

It's too bad that the prices of Saint Quartz had been multiplied by 10, but I guess kind of reasonable considering that I'm getting Servants and cool stuff for real.

Making sure that I had enough money to cover the rent for a large enough living space (for plenty of future servants) and living expenses for up to a year... I spent the rest of the money on Saint Quartz, buying 5 sets of 167 Quartz.

… Sniff, I wish I had a facility like Chaldea. But alas, high living costs and budgeting took precedence over my Quartz spending.

I wasn't that insane as to spend all my money on Quartz without considering logistics, yet.

Let's see, I'll get two Saint Quartz tomorrow but…

Right now I have 10 Summon Tickets, 15 Saint Quartz, a few Exchange Tickets and some Saint Quartz Fragments. With the extra 835 Quartz purchased, that's 850 Quartz in total, that's 28 10-pulls while leaving 10 Quartz behind.

"I'll push it...I'm gonna push it…"

The two Knight class Servants turned to me with concerned expressions.

"Wait! Master! Think about this logically! You're only going to roll 4* Tokiomi's… get ahold of yourself!"

EMIYA holds one of my hands to prevent me from pushing the button.

"NO! I won't let my E-Rank luck go into effect again!"

This time I felt something soft and pleasant behind my back.

"Please stop this madness, Master! I don't want to see you cry again!"

"I-I won't cry. I can do it. I can get a five-star!"

"Just one pull! Just one pull I swear!"

Eventually, they relented when I swore only to pull one banner and spend my 2000 FP points on one FP summoning.

"It's good that you see sense. You should just wait for the '2030' CE rate-up before doing your summons. That way, you have a much higher chance of getting a useful 4* Craft Essence."

EMIYA brutally destroyed my hopes and dreams. He didn't even consider the possibility of me getting a five-star.

"What's with you! And when did you start using Gacha terms!"

He looked at me with a grave expression.

"I remembered now. I've seen this bad luck only once before. It didn't scare me enough then...it does now."

"Archer… so you've been to Chaldea before…"

"Yeah, I remember now. You mustn't give in to the Gacha. When you lose, you get salty. That's how it starts... The fever, the rage, the feeling of saltiness, that turns good Masters... cruel!"

He was right in that regard. In an effort to overcome my bad luck through the sheer amount of Quartz, haven't I condemned Issei to fallen angel Oppai heaven and the tender mercies of a mad scientist Fallen, Angel?

"I won't let you go down that path… if you are, then for your own good, I must cut you down."

"Archer! I won't let you!"

Lily placed herself in between Archer and me.

"Thank you, Lily… but Archer is right."

I placed a hand on her shoulder and smile reassuringly.

"Eh?"

"I can't let the salt control me. I know the path ahead of me is filled with spooks. Endless Black Keys, Steel Training's, Mapo Tofu… even if that's hell I'm walking to, I won't give in. If I don't lose myself by only taking in salt once in a while and not all at once then… I can come out of this stronger."

"Master… don't worry, no matter how far you fall into Gacha Hell, I will surely be by your side no matter what."

"Lily…"

"Master…"

"Ahem, um, must you stare into each other's eyes like that?"

Whoops. Sorry, I got into a weird mood.

"Alright… here goes… I'll start with the FP summon."

As for who was summoned…

A black-cloaked figure with a white mask.

"Assassin-class Servant. From the shadows, the call of your voice has reached me."

"WOAH! That voice… so cool! Mister Cursed Arm is so cool!"

I ended up letting my excitement get the better of me.

"Hahaha… Lord Mage honors me so…"

Yes, Cursed Arm Hassan Getto Dazzo! Another pillar of light descends and… a handsome knight with long brown hair stepped forth.

"Rider Georgios. I did hear your summons and answered the call. Let us do our best."

"Yeah! I'm glad to have you on board! Ah, give me a moment alright? We'll debrief everyone all at once."

"A splendid idea."

I collected the one 3 Star CE, which turned out to be Rin's Pendant…

"Hey, Archer? Hold onto this for me, will you?"

"Hmm, what is… oh, haa… that girl really can't leave me alone, can she? Unfortunately, I have no use for it."

"Oh…"

"So we'll make a trade instead."

"Huh?"

He took out an identical pendant from underneath his armor and held it out to me.

"A preliminary gift exchange. Besides, this replica can't exactly store mana like this… which is a lot safer than a real jewel craft gem in the hands of a novice."

This… this guy…

"Haa, you and Rin aren't too different at times?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Worrywart… Thanks, Mama."

"Oi…!"

Lily giggles at the side, finding EMIYA's protectiveness cute.

"You're so caring Emiya-senpai."

"Hey, why are you calling me senpai all of a sudden?"

Cursed Arm looks at the scene before chuckling with his cool voice.

"I'm glad that this place doesn't reek of betrayal."

Saint George considers Assassin's remark

"Oh? What is it?"

The Assassin shakes his head

"Nothing in particular. I am simply less worried since Lord Mage is surrounded by various loyal heroes."

Oooh, Cursed Arm is so loyal to worry about me already! Okay, I won't let them down. It's time for the 10-Pull from… the DXD Banner. Eh? This light… no way! A Servant! This blue color… yes! Best doggo!

"Yo, Servant Lancer has answered your summon. Well, let us try to have fun Master."

"We sure will! There's plenty of people to fight in this world, I can't wait to work with you, Cu Chulainn."

"Heh! I'm glad that we can- wait… YOU!"

He points at EMIYA, who glares back.

"Oh? Did I strike a nerve?" He has an eye closed in his usual snarky mode.

"You, you don't remember huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Are you perhaps recalling feeding the dogs?"

"Haa?!"

"Feeding the dogs your pride that is."

"HAHA! So you do remember you bastard! Come on, let's finish that fight!"

Geez, he's taking out his spear.

"Berserker. Lancer wants to be your friend. Why don't you go play with him outside?"

"Huh?"

Lancer was too late to react by the time Berserker had a hand wrapping around his head. Also, I was missing a good chunk of my wall and window.

"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!!??"

Lancer shouted as he began fighting back. It's a good thing this place house I'm renting is just outside of Kuoh. Thankfully, for all of EMIYA's crappy magecraft, he could still fix this with some effort and some fake sword walls. I really should get a Caster class Servant ASAP if this is going to be a trend.

My phone is still continuing the summoning… ah yes, I didn't tap to skip the process so it's being completed slowly.

It keeps depositing the Craft Essences slowly until…

Another pillar of light! And… huh? Who is this… hey, doesn't she look like Asia Argento's card from the Mobage?

"Um, Servant Caster at your service. Is that how it goes? Oooh, sorry for messing up my introduction. Ahh, nooo, my business cards didn't come with me!"

The blonde would-be nun was stressing out over her lackluster introduction. Honestly, she was too cute like that… ah, I could see why Issei mentioned that she was his 'perfect blonde bishoujo'.

"Eh, there's nothing to be sorry about. I'm so happy you answered my call! Let's save the world and get along, okay?"

"H-hai! I hope to get along with you too!"

She nervously fidgets around before straightening herself and holding up a hand to me.

I took it and we just left it like that.

… Until it became awkward when neither of us knew how to continue on.

"Um, yeah, I'll be your Master for the foreseeable future, yeah?"

"Y-yes! I'll work hard. You can count on me!"

"I know I can. My names… huh, Gudako would be convenient but I may as well have a fresh start… Nicole Fujimaru or you can just call me Gudako. I'm pleased to meet you, Miss…"

"Ah! I am Asia Argento, founder of the magician group Faerie. I'm happy to meet you too!"

"Faerie…. The old French word for Fairy?"

"I um, thought it was cute?"

"Really?"

"It was how it started but then I gave our group name a bit more meaning."

"Ooh! Come on, tell me!"

"Well, I was holding a design thinking session with my group until we came up with a new motto! I thought it was really violent, but then we still ran with it since every other group had scary motto's too."

"You're leaving me in suspense…"

"Even if magicians cannot kill a god, we can manage against a fairy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah! Where's Berserker?"

I asked, only to hear loud footsteps making their way here.

"Ah! There he is!"

After some rounds of introductions, Berserker came back in through the front door with Gae Bolg sticking in his skin, not at all impeded as he dragged the beaten Lancer back into the room.

"It looks like he became really good friends with Lancer. He really likes dogs."

"Just kill me already…"

Archer seems to be going through memory lane when looking at the broken Lancer.

"Alright then! New rounds of introductions everyone! Here! I've printed new info packs for everyone to read."

I pass around the notes of our mission and what we roughly should be aiming for to everyone.

"Ah, Trihexa. Here we go again."

Asia sighs, it seems that she has plenty of experience with this.

"So when are we going to assassinate Rivezim? I know where his vacation home is."

Holy shit, that escalated quickly.