9

"So what did we learn today, my cute little genin? Hmm?" Kakashi, with his book in front of his face and in the middle of a really steamy part, asked from his spot up against a nearby fence. One of those that he'd had his team do earlier, actually. They did good work. "What did we take away from our latest mission?"

Naruto, his face a tapestry of scratches that looked like an infection waiting to happen, fumed loudly, "Cats are giant assholes."

Kakashi scratched his chin and affected a thoughtful expression.

As the holder of the dog contract, he couldn't disagree. Not just because he liked dogs more, which he did, but for pragmatic reasons. He'd been caught up in far too many territorial disputes between his dogs and the various ninja cat clans to even consider having another opinion on the matter.

Cats were giant assholes. And Naruto had just gone up a step in Kakashi's estimation of his intelligence.

That sounded mean. But those were the facts. And it wasn't as if he'd said it out loud. Perfectly pleasant people thought not so pleasant things all the time. As long as no one knew what he'd thought, it had effectively never happened.

His sensei's son was not what anyone could call a genius by any understanding of the word. Except if you were talking about pranks and trap making, but a genius that did not make. Naruto was a good kid, and he had some real heart, but a month of time spent with him or around him hadn't exactly given Kakashi the impression that he had his father's brains.

It helped keep the two of them separate in his head if anything did.

"Good, good," Kakashi nodded along to Naruto's answer, not letting any of that thought show on his face, even from behind his mask. "That's a fair observation. Sasuke?"

"Longer sleeves are important," Sasuke grunted as he wrapped another line of bandages up his forearm. "And that letting an unbound and angry capture target near your face is stupid."

"More good points. Very good," Kakashi cut off the argument that was coming before Naruto could do more than let an offended gasp escape. "How about you, Sakura? Anything you want to share with the rest of the class?"

Sakura, the one holding the cat in question by there being a dearth of people that Tora would allow to hold her without trying to take out their eyes, took her time in replying. Or blinking… Or breathing, her body as still as stone.

The cat in her lap, as docile as Kakashi had ever seen her while on his aimless walks around town, continued to not move away from the closed fist pressing against her head. Or into. Or at all as she stared right into the dark green orbs looking down at her.

They'd been that way for a while now, and Kakashi was starting to wonder if they hadn't both died sometime after Sakura had alerted them to the capture through her radio set.

This wasn't a serious thought, of course. This was the middle of Konoha, after all. But he had to wonder anyway.

He knew at least four different poisons that could do it too, and left the victims just like this. Frozen stiff, stiff enough that they wouldn't fall out of their seats. And even more jutsu that could do the same thing.

"Sakura?"

Sakura continued not to blink.

The cat continued to...be a cat, honestly. Not moving or blinking for long spans of time was the norm. So that was a wash.

Sakura was starting to worry him though. More than usual, and for a different reason than her being different from the usual genin that thought they were the next coming of the Sage himself.

This wouldn't be the first time someone had tried to kill the cat of the daimyo's wife. The little shit had no shortage of enemies, in the village or elsewhere. There was at least one attempt every other week. More often, two. Missions that the jounin handled due to how politically sensitive that sort of thing was. Sakura getting caught up in one of those attempts would be just his luck.

If she had.

He'd check first.

"Naruto," Kakashi picked up a nearby stick and tossed it at the blond. "Wake Sakura up for me, would you?"

Privileges of rank.

"What?" Naruto looked at the stick in his hands, confused. Then, as the implications began to dawn on him, that confusion took on a touch of horror. "Why me!?"

"You're the closest." Kakashi pointed out.

"No I'm n-" Naruto looked to the side where Sasuke had been. Which had been closer. Had been. He'd seen where the wind was blowing and gone behind a tree four trees away, his eyes and hair the only parts of him still showing. "Asshole!"

Sasuke flipped him off smugly, then ducked back with a yell as the stick turned spear whistled past him and into the underbrush. That caution of his didn't last very long. "You just threw away your only hope of keeping both of your hands, dumbass."

If this had been anyone else they were talking about, Kakashi would have been seriously concerned about the reasons why two teenage boys refused to touch a reasonably attractive teenage girl when given an excuse.

But it wasn't. So he didn't.

Naruto cursed under his breath and Kakashi's estimation of his intelligence dropped to where it had been when the day had started. Not rock bottom. "Why can't you do it, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Because a friendly face is just the thing for someone to wake up to, first thing in the morning. That's why." Sakura better not be dying. This would be very awkward if she was. It wasn't even morning. Terrible time to die, not in the morning. "And I ordered you to do it."

"... It's like that, huh?" Naruto stood up, the word 'order' the push he needed to risk life and limb for most likely very petty reasons. In other words, he'd just gotten a taste of what an average C-rank mission was like. Lucky him. "If I die, kick Sasuke in the dick for me."

Naruto to the end.

"Fuck you, Naruto!"

"No, fuck you!"

"I'm sure the Hokage will give your request all the seriousness it deserves, seeing as it comes from a loyal citizen of the Leaf," Kakashi intoned dryly while Sasuke made a sound that wasn't quite a squawk. "If you would?"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled as he put his fingers up in front of him in a cross. Kakashi's respect for his intelligence seesawed back up as, in a puff of smoke another, more expendable Naruto appeared at his side; that whole mess with the forbidden scroll had done wonders for the boy. "You know what to do."

"Right!" Clone Naruto saluted the original with the looks and bearing of someone being sent to die… Appropriate. "Remember me as I was. Not what I became."

That wouldn't be too hard. People didn't think about empty air all that often.

Naruto saluted him back, lip wobbling as his clone walked towards its doom.

"It's a clone, idiot," Sasuke added helpfully.

Naruto's clone, palm open, reached for Sakura's face with a trembling hand.

"It's called being a man, Sasuke! You wouldn't understand!"

Kakashi sighed and put his book away as Sakura continued to not blink, not even as someone tried to palm her face and a pair of teenage boys that didn't like each other very much acted like teenage boys that didn't like each other very much.

There might be a hospital visit in his future after all. One that wasn't for him even.

That one was on Thursday.

"Of course I wouldn't understand. I'm not stupid."

"No, you!"

One moment, there was a suicidally brave shadow clone doing what had to be done for the good of Kakashi's paperwork pile.

The next moment, there was nothing more than smoke on the wind, its last moments spent with something very sharp and very fast lodged in one of its kidneys.

Sakura, lock of hair falling flat against her forehead in an entirely natural motion for something that had audibly cut air, blinked. She sat up straight, her neck cracking unpleasantly as she did so; Tora stretched, yawned, and flopped bonelessly in place. They were both alive then. Great. "Yes?"

"Yes," Kakashi echoed while pulling his book back out, Naruto rubbing his side fitfully from three feet further away than he had been; that clone feedback could be a real bastard. "What did you learn today, Sakura?"

Besides how to be a living statue, that is.

"Learn…? That's a hard one." Sakura got herself a handful of Tora's brown chest fur as she rolled over, back feet batting playfully at the genin's arm as she thought that over. Then, she hummed. "Kindness and understanding can solve problems that violence and hatred only make worse."

The oldest person in the clearing leaned back and considered what he'd just heard.

… Kakashi hadn't seen that one coming. He'd expected something different, something about how she'd done something absurd for her age that would make him throw more money into the Chunin Exam pot. Not a moral lesson.

Morals weren't something he associated with Sakura. Or ninja, actually. Definitely not himself.

Sakura was just full of surprises. An ever-flowing fountain of them, big and small.

He hated them all.

"Not what I was looking for. And not something I'm entirely sure works in practice," Kakashi said honestly. "But, sure. That's something. That's a lesson learned. Good job."

Sakura shrugged while scratching under Tora's chin, the only genin not a bleeding mess. So, point to her. "There's a time and a place. It's a sometimes thing. Like now."

Naruto gawped at that as Sasuke began to make his way out of the treeline, feeling that the greater part of the danger was over. "You stabbed me! Just now!"

While in a fugue state. No hesitation. No questions asked or equivocation. Just murder as a first response.

That did take away from the sentiment some, yes. And there hadn't even been any killing intent when she'd done it either. Which Kakashi knew, for a fact, the girl could exude like a broken sewer pipe, bad feelings and all when she had her dander up.

That had been an instinctive, emotionless response to her being startled. That was a healthy response.

For someone that had seen heavy combat at some point and had yet to destress.

He added another line to what was going to be in his end-of-the-month report. The one he was supposed to give to the Hokage on… What day was it? Not Thursday.

Eh.

"You're fine. And I didn't stab you. That was a cut. And I cut a clone. Not you. Don't be dramatic," Sakura dismissed the blond easily as she stood up, Tora fitting into the crook of her arm like He'd been poured into a mold. "Are we done?"

Were they?

Let's see.

"Well, we have the cat. We have most of our body parts still attached and property damage was kept to a minimum. I asked what you all learned today and you all gave me answers I didn't hate. Just disliked." Kakashi pushed himself off the fence. "Sakura is right. Mission accomplished. Let's wrap it up."

A round of cheers and a dull, lackluster meow from the cat was what he got in reply.

"And are you going to tell anyone how you caught Tora, Sakura?" Kakashi prodded, curious. His team had been trying to catch that cat for three hours. There was an hour where Sakura and the cat had been unaccounted for. And Tora wasn't acting like a very scared, angry animal normally did when meeting someone new. Or she was, just not with Sakura. That was strange. "Or are you keeping that to yourself?"

Sakura turned her head to look at him with tired, disappointed eyes. "Yes."

"That was a silly question."

By now, Kakashi hadn't really expected any other answer from her.

"Yes."

But he'd tried anyway. Damn his lukewarm curiosity.

And, god, was he glad she wasn't another Rin. He already had an Obito and a smaller version of himself to take care of, with him in the place of his teacher. His heart wouldn't have been able to take the stress. And neither could his mind. If there had been a love triangle between Naruto, Sasuke, and her… The logistics alone...it made him shudder.

He rolled a shoulder and kept on leading his ducklings back through town, all in a happy little row.

Genin, genin, genin that might have been a high chunin, jounin and cat.

Kakashi pitied anyone she was interested in. He really did.

If she was even capable of that sort of thing, that is. Itachi hadn't been. And if there was anyone that she reminded him of after having spent some time with her, more than anyone, it was Itachi. Itachi without the resources a major clan could offer, the bloodline, the expectations, and the rank, but Itachi all the same.

… When he thought about it like that, they weren't at all similar. Itachi hadn't been a teenage girl either. But it was how it was. And that was why he was considering taking them all out for a C-rank earlier than he'd planned. That being half a year from now, at the least.

If they couldn't handle a C-rank with Itachi-lite leading the way, they'd never be able to handle it. That was his thinking. So, you know, why not? Why not pick up a milk run so that the kiddies could get their feet wet?

Why not?

Kakashi ran that thought over in his head during the walk to the tower. All the way there, the idea sounding better and better with every iteration.

He remembered being young and talented and with a huge chip on his shoulder that had been bigger than he was. His kids were older than he had been when that was the case, but it couldn't be that much different, right? He'd never had much of a problem with being taken seriously though, so that wasn't exact. But Obito certainly had. And so had Rin. They'd liked being taken seriously as ninja. And they'd been normal. Mostly normal.

Like his kids. Normal. Or close enough. More or less. And Konoha wasn't at war like it had been when he'd been doing C-ranks… Traveling outside of the Land of Fire without a hundred other ninja wasn't a death sentence anymore. There weren't pissed off Iwa nin popping out of hidden underground bunkers when you sneezed anymore.

So why not take them out on a field trip? What would it hurt?

"Hey, Gramps! What's the deal with all the crap missions you've been handing out!?" Naruto yelled as soon as they entered the dropoff area at the tower, face still covered in bright red scratches while Sakura, carefully, handed the still calm package off to a nearby chunin. "These missions suck!"

Ah. Right. He couldn't trust Naruto not to cause an international incident.

That's what it could hurt.

The Hokage, lord and master of all ninja in the Land of Fire and the God of Shinobi, continued to calmly pack his pipe. Then, with a single hand sign, he lit it up and took a draw with a grin. A long, long draw.

Nepotism was a wonderful thing.

"Well!?" Naruto slammed his hands down on the table Sarutobi sat at. "Why do all the missions suck, old man?!"

Kakashi put a hand up to his face without a sound.

Sakura, across the room, did the same thing as the cat was taken away in a carrier, the feline still eerily calm as it was brought back home.

And, Kakashi was sure, if he looked behind him, Sasuke would be doing something very similar.

"It is because you aren't ready, Naruto," Sarutobi deigned to answer after having wound the blond boy up enough to spin a hundred tops. "That is why all the missions you have been given 'suck'."

"Are you saying I suck, old man?"

"I wouldn't dare to presume such a thing," Sarutobi nudged his hat up higher on his head, adding to his always present aura of trustworthy respectability even as he told Naruto, to his face, that he might suck. Thankfully for the ears of everyone in the tower, the blond didn't get it. "The missions you are given are weighted towards your experience. And your jounin teacher's good judgment."

The God of Shinobi had passed that ryo off like it was made out of poison and he had something against Kakashi.

Privileges of rank.

"My judgment is perfectly adequate," Kakashi defended himself as best as he was able when Naruto wheeled on him, otherwise helpless to do much else without looking astoundingly petty...and not in a good way. "But our experience when it comes to working as a team isn't."

Forget that he'd been about to ignore that less than five minutes ago out of misplaced nostalgia. And an attempt at bonding over an activity that wasn't taijutsu drills and having the kids spar and trying to wheedle cash out of his students' pockets so that they could sit down and eat together; It was true then, it was true now.

They weren't a team yet. Like him and his team hadn't been before their first C-rank.

Kakashi crossed his arms and tuned Naruto out while the boy went on a noisy, arm-flailing tirade. That Sasuke was nearly at his side, just out of punching range said a great deal about where he stood on this matter.

Sakura stood apart, the odd one out. Quiet. Bored. Unchallenged.

Now she reminded him of him.

Son of a bitch, this was starting to piss him off.

A little danger, a little, might be just the thing after all.

Fuck.

"Your impassioned speech has moved me, Naruto. I never thought of it like that before," Kakashi interrupted, somehow saying that with a straight face as the boy nearly lost his balance, mid-pose. "One C-rank, please, Lord Hokage."

Bonds made in the field were the strongest bonds, after all.

"What?"

"Truly?" Sarutobi's next puff was a questioning one, and a great deal more measured than Naruto's disbelieving exhalation. "Even with their lack of experience?" His fingers laced together in front of his stomach as he leaned back in his chair. "The lack you admitted to, in front of your Hokage?"

"The greatest experience a ninja can have is experience of the world, Lord Hokage." Kakashi bowed. "Some new sights should temper their youthful spirits."

Kakashi didn't do this often. Or, at all. Respect wasn't something he was good at. But, for once, this felt like the right thing to do.

Like it might bring good luck. Better luck than it had brought his team when his teacher had done the same, over a decade before.

… It wouldn't hurt. And, maybe, this would help knock some manners in Naruto's thick skull.

"Laying it on thick, are you, Kakashi? I thought I'd never see the day." Sarutobi chuckled. "But you are not wrong. They should see what those who came before them fought for." He snapped his fingers and a scroll appeared in his open hand. "You are in luck, team seven. Someone sent in a request just before you came to see me."

"A request, Lord Hokage?"

"You are to guard a bridgebuilder as he does his work. Simple enough, no?"

==========

So. Here it was. My last day before things truly went into motion. My last day of true rest. Of mental recuperation. Of avoiding dangerous situations I was in no way qualified for but was forced to deal with anyway.

The Sage can go fuck himself.

And I was glad he was dead.

Asshole.