In Konoha--in most ninja villages, really--a knock at your door was something to be concerned about. Worried about. Alarmed about, even. The later in the day it came, the more likely it was that it was because you were about to have a very, very bad time.
What could it be? Anything. But there were some things that came up more often than not when someone rapped their knuckles on wood.
You had to redo your last D-rank. There were irregularities in your mission casualty report that needed discussing. Border patrol was short a man and your number had come up. Your best friend's funeral was tomorrow and the Will of Fire had burned bright in him. That sort of thing.
Knocking wasn't popular around these parts. Waiting at the door for expected guests most definitely was. That or letting them climb in through your windows while hoping they didn't crack the good plates.
Hoping. Threatening anyone that came in that way with bodily harm. Same thing, really.
These plates and bowls had been in the family since before the warring clans era. How long before? No one knew. No one really cared either. They weren't exactly porcelain, but they were a part of the family and had been for longer than anyone living could remember.
Having any of them break before I got married, whenever that was, would break my dad's heart.
After I got married? That was my problem. I'd prefer it if it was never my problem though, ever, thank you very much. So, I kept watch instead of letting people use the optional entrances like their instincts told them to do.
I waited, book in hand and feet dangling over the armrest of my couch, for my time to come...which wouldn't be too long. Not at all, I think.
They were coming down the street as we spoke. Slowly.
"Sakura!" Mom called out at me from over the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room; plates, not the good ones, left her hands and entered the rack perfectly dry. "When are your friends getting here again?"
Good question.
I clicked my tongue, the softest light of the three having slowed down even more once she made the turn. "Two minutes." A much brighter light got behind the softer and their pace sped up. The middle light satisfied itself with keeping up. "One."
"That's quite the change," Mom said back, amused as I forced myself up off the couch with a groan. Then the water turned off and she turned away from the sink, towel in hand. "I wonder what happened?"
"I couldn't tell you." I took my time walking to the front door, 'watching' as the middle light joined the bright light behind the soft as soon as it caught up. Then they were jogging. "Thirty seconds."
"Kizashi!"
"I'm dressed, I'm dressed!"
Good. Wonderful. Expected.
Mostly.
Dad tended to forget some of his modesty while in the confines of his own home. But not today, it seemed. Thankfully.
Otherwise, his near tumble down the stairs while pulling on a sandal behind my back would have been a very different and mentally scarring event for my friends to witness. Only having to see my father's unreasonably hairy legs in his customary shorts was a blessing unknown to them.
The man had a chest like a bear. A light- pink bear. Nothing that impressionable young women needed to see.
I was reminded of this fact by the sight of Ino's, Hinata's, and Tenten's bright and youthful faces, all in a row when I opened the door. Happy. Joyful. Unknowing of the horrors they had only barely missed due to luck and circumstance.
How I envied them.
"Sakura!" Ino crowed, making Hinata stumble when she took a supporting arm off of the quiet girl's shoulder to throw it up in the air. "Did you miss me?"
I thought about it. Found my answer. "I saw you three hours ago."
"That's a yes."
It was, yes, but I wasn't walking into that dark treeline without preparation. Or in front of other people.
Ino had a thing for pulling hair that needed a response.
No, I wasn't going to explain. Or think about it. I had guests. And I didn't need to rile myself up when... That was the point, wasn't it?
Someone needed to learn about timing as well, it seems.
Again.
"That was a maybe, Ino. Come in, girls." I stepped aside, noting what I needed to as well as Ino's coy smile for later. It was time for the customary exchange of conversation. "Don't mind the mess."
"Mess," Tenten scoffed, her own arm slipping from Hinata's shoulders to give me a wave. A normal, normal wave. And to enter my house. Which she did first, with Ino staring at her back like the older girl had kicked her non-existent dog. "Your house is never anything but spotless."
"You're very kind."
"It's very nice, Sakura," Hinata muttered inside of her hoodie collar, her eyes closed as she took a deep breath and sidled past me like I had something contagious, caught by touch… Just Hinata things, in other words. "And the food you made smells wonderful."
"It's just snacks and tea, Hinata, but thank you."
"Where the hell is my hug?" Ino demanded, arms still up. Then she looked over my shoulder. "Hi, Auntie! Hi, Uncle!"
"Hi, Ino!" Rang back from inside the house without hesitation.
Damn it.
"Your parents have manners, Sakura." Ino shook her arms, still held up as she used my parents and their kindness against me; I could feel my mom shake her head at us behind my back before turning to my dad. "Where are yours?"
I rolled my eyes but bent down, to her demands and physically, her arms going around my neck as soon as I was within reach while mine went around her waist; her chin found its way onto my shoulder, the smell of orange blossoms and my own, older scent filling the air… I sighed. "You're going to get it, Ino."
She was too much.
"Don't make me wait." She gave me a squeeze then let go of me with a laugh, my hands sliding over her back smoothly as she fell back to the flats of her feet. Then she stepped past me without a second glance, finally allowing me to close my front door. "And, wow, that does smell good."
I suppose.
"It's shabu-shabu." Nothing special. Just something easy to make and eat around while catering to my own particular need to cook my own food. Provide raw food and boiling broth. Dip raw food in boiling broth until done. Simple. "Beef with carrots, cabbage, and onions today."
Ino gave me the side-eye as we moved into the living room where everyone was waiting. "Wagyu?"
If only. Wagyu beef wasn't something you could casually pick up from the store if you were on a genin's salary. I'd be lucky to get more than a pound of the stuff when I made rank and she knew it too… Smartass. "Was that an offer to cater for our next gathering, Ino?"
Please say yes.
"Just a question," Ino dodged that responsibility like Naruto dodged Anbu. Damn it. "And I'm starving ."
And then she was gone. As gone as one could be when you were still in the same room, but gone.
…I was going to have to convince the other girls that it was Ino's turn to host, after she'd been so cruel to me. We hadn't had one of these gatherings in a while and it was about time that we shifted the schedules about. We weren't in the academy anymore...or so the argument would go.
Ino pulled out a seat for herself and planted her butt at the table, smug as she ever was.
All the reason I needed to do what I was going to do.
"And that is our cue for us to leave, Kizashi," Mom said with a warm smile as we weaved around each other on our way to our respective destinations. "No one needs us looking over their shoulders."
"But what if something happens while you're gone?" Was my dry faux-objection. "What if there's a burglar?"
Mom's lips turned up slightly, the feeling of my father's hand on my head and him mussing my hair seen from a mile away. "I'd feel sorry for the burglar."
"But maybe Sakura is right, Mebuki," Dad whined as his continued ruffling led to strands and locks of hair falling into my face and over my shoulders. "What if there's a bur-"
"Stop embarrassing her." Mom gave him a gentle punch in the shoulder and he let out a cry like he'd just been stabbed. "That reservation isn't going to last forever, Kizashi."
"Alright, Mebuki. Alright. Jeez." With one last rub of my head that had me reaching up in front of me to part my hair like a curtain, he stopped and joined my mom on the way out the door. "Have fun, girls."
"You too, Dad." I pulled my hair back to a polite chorus of 'thank yous' as background, and the sound of the front door opening; I sighed, hairpin coming loose as I pulled it free, sending my hair tumbling in freefall down to my knees; this was going to have to be redone. "Bye."
"By-" The door closed with a sudden and terrible finality, my mom keeping this from going on any longer like it would if Dad had his way, the big softie...and, now, we were alone.
As alone as one ever was in a nation of spies and killers, but alone.
With one last wave at the door, done by habit, I turned on my heel and took in my friends once more. Tenten hiding a grin in the palm of her hand. Hinata buried so deeply in her hoodie you could mistake her for a turtle. Ino biting a thumb, her eyes shining with - excitement.
Down, Ino.
Please.
And no one ask me about what I did yesterday.
It would be appreciated.
"Alright then." I clicked my tongue, arms crossing over my chest… Just because. For no real reason...damn it, Ino. "Who's up for shabu-shabu?"
As expected, there were no complaints.
==========
" What does Sakura do to herself to look like that? " Tenten's fingers spelled out hastily, her brows high up on her face as Sakura went to get the food. " It was crazy before, but now it's just- "
" I will fight you, Tenten, " Ino declared, a fire burning in her eyes as she pursed her lips and spelled her words out in kind, " I will fight you right here and now, I swear on Hashirama. "
Hinata sunk deeper into her hoodie.
" He wasn't a god, Ino, don't make this strange, " Tenten shot back, her own lips pursing as well. " And I'm not going to fight you. "
" He made a whole forest and the village in a day. Sounds like a god to me. And it sounds like you want a fight. "
" I can see her back muscles through her top, Ino. Her sleeping top, " Tenten's fingers started to stumble over themselves. " And her butt is- "
" Fine the way it is. " Ino slapped her hand on the table, her expression thunderous. " Are you going to criticize her hair too? "
" I am not criticizing her. And her hair is great. I am asking why her thighs are nearly as thick as her waist. "
Hinata was now, officially, uncomfortable.
Being uncomfortable was nothing new. She was rarely comfortable. That was just how she was and she'd come to terms with that.
Too many people. Not enough people. Talking. No talking. Moving. Not moving. She was never really comfortable no matter the situation, even when she should be. Hinata managed as well as she was able and tried to be happy about it.
That there were people, her friends, that accepted her for who she was, had helped. It had helped a lot and was still helping...but, right now, this wasn't one of those times where having friends helped.
Right now, Hinata was officially uncomfortable. And for a good reason this time.
Tenten...might have had a point. Hinata didn't really know what her point was yet, Ino and Tenten were just about slap-fighting in near-incomprehensible combat language right now, but Sakura was… She...
Hinata swallowed, her hands coming together under the table as she tucked her legs up beneath the seat.
Sakura was eye-catching.
It was - hard to describe.
Sakura, she had...there was this… She'd grown up. That. Yes, that. Sakura had grown up.
She'd changed from that time when they were both little girls meeting at an Akimichi dinner party, with Ino dragging her everywhere and… That was obvious though, wasn't it? Of course Sakura had changed.
"Hi, Hinata! Have you met Sakura?"
"N-no?"
"You have now!"
"I'm not a doll, Ino… Hi, Hinata."
"H-hello, Sakura."
"And now you're both friends! Was that so hard?"
…Friends?
"Not at all."
In the present, Hinata closed her eyes and pushed down an embarrassed flush. She took a deep breath, her hands opening and closing around each other slowly.
They weren't little girls anymore. Of course Sakura wasn't the same girl she used to be. Years had passed. Things had happened. None of them were still the same. But...how Sakura acted was still the same. Still familiar.
Seeing how Sakura's body had changed was - harder to reconcile.
There had been a time when Sakura had been slim, lanky even. Where she'd been all awkward limbs and big-eyed stares, like a newborn horse. A time that had felt like just yesterday but had passed more than three years ago, Sakura's changes falling in so gradually Hinata had only noticed them when they were done.
It had been a shock when it had hit.
Sakura was tall now. Really tall. She was even taller than Tenten, the second tallest girl that Hinata knew. And not just a little either. She was even taller than Kurenai-sensei , the tallest woman that Hinata knew.
She was only taller than Kurenai by an inch, but that inch might as well have been a whole foot. It felt like a whole foot with how far Hinata had to lean back to look her in the eyes.
That was...strange to think about. But not as strange as the actual first thing that Hinata noticed when she saw Sakura. And, surprisingly, it wasn't Sakura's hair and how unearthly silky it was. It wasn't the impossible control over her chakra, the perfectly coordinated and controlled flow that Hinata had found herself hypnotized by more than once ( beautiful) … It was Sakura's body.
Not her height, even if it was part of it. Not her hair or her chakra or the thin lines starting at the corners of Sakura's eyes that smoothed out when with friends and family… Her body.
Hinata felt terrible about it, but it was true. She couldn't help but notice it. Tenten had a point, even if she could have been more tactful and polite.
Sakura's body wasn't normal.
It was muscle. Almost entirely muscle. Muscle everywhere, and more fat over it than any other kunoichi Hinata personally knew. The fat she carried all around her body was more than Hinata carried on her chest, an amount that Hinata had trouble imagining.
On her hips. Her rear. Her legs and arms… There was even fat around her middle, a middle as hard as metal once you got past the - not unsightly - layer of padding that Sakura had, obviously, more than obviously, intentionally kept.
Sakura ate more food in a single sitting than the rest of the people in this room combined if you let her. If you gave her the opportunity, she'd eat and eat and eat until she couldn't eat anymore. What she did with it, where it went, no one could say.
Hinata didn't know why Sakura did it. No one did… What was the point of eating like that? She wasn't an Akimichi. And even if she was, that wasn't nearly enough to fuel any of their jutsu anyway.
Why did Sakura hate dieting so much? What was wrong with dieting? Everyone did it unless, again, you were an Akimichi. A kunoichi needed to be slim. She needed to be agile. She...she didn't need to have anything getting in the way.
Especially not her own body. That was just common knowledge. Everyone knew that.
Common knowledge that Sakura had thrown out the window.
And set on fire with glee.
And no one knew why.
Hinata sucked in her lower lip, her view into the kitchen from where she sat allowing her to exactly what she was thinking about. With only Ino's and Tenten's continued argument to distract her as each side of Sakura's - round and heavy bottom shifted with tectonic force under black spats; merged into thighs 'nearly as thick as her waist' and calves like small boulders.
That wasn't normal.
Hinata didn't feel brave enough to ask why that was. What the point was. And, for once, Hinata wasn't the only one that had that problem.
For once, Hinata wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable.
Sakura picked up the pot and her back tensed , outlined perfectly under her shirt.
She could be kind of...scary...and that was why Tenten had asked Ino.
Ino, who had started signing out her combat language with a single hand while the other seemed to be clumsily working through hand signs for something mean.
What had Hinata missed?
"Food's done."
"Finally!" Ino sat back in her seat with a pleasant smile just before Sakura turned around, smooth and easy… Scary. "I'm starving!"
Tenten had her arm draped over the back of her chair, the anticipatory expression on her face a hard contrast from the sheer alarm that had been over it less than a second before. "That's gonna hit the spot after today. Gai-sensei really rode us ragged."
Hinata lifted her head, feeling obligated to add something of her own. "Yay."
"I'm glad that you've all built up an appetite," Sakura smiled at her, just a little, and Hinata relaxed… Then Sakura put the food down, platters filled with meat and vegetables sliced paper-thin, towered high, and she ducked back into her hoodie again; that was a lot of food. "I made a little extra today."
…A little? That was at least three pounds of food.
"Thank you, Sakura." Ino, resigned but not willing to fight about it, starting stacking her plate before anyone else. "I did miss lunch."
Sakura's smile grew and she hummed. "I know."
Tenten, after a short moment, dragged a hand down her face as Ino's face reddened. Then, still giving the blonde a side-eye, she did her part in shortening the food mountain. "Filled up on snacks, huh?"
"She does like her sweets," Sakura agreed dryly as she, finally, took a seat… Her chair creaked. "Can't get enough of them."
Hinata sighed and got her own portion, the weight of social obligation a heavy one… She knew where all of this was going after she was done. And it was already hard enough to find hoodies that fit as is.
But she had to do what she had to do.
"I do. I admit it." Ino smacked her lips as she dipped a slice of meat into the broth pot, face still red and only getting more so. "If I can grab it, I'll eat it."
Sakura's already sublime posture tightened up yet further. "She might have a problem."
"It's the world that has a problem," Ino murmured.
"People don't need to see you eat candy, Ino."
Tenten coughed, her fist hitting the table.
Hinata took a bite of food and brightened.
This was really good. This wouldn't be too bad.
"No one saw me eat my candy, Sakura." Ino rolled her eyes and nibbled on her food. "You worry too much."
Hinata looked between the two of them, confused and with a piece of carrot between her teeth.
"I worry just enough."
"I'm not going to just quit getting candy cold turkey." Ino pointed her chopsticks at the taller girl, meat dripping lightly on the table as she did. "You've spoiled me."
Sakura squared her jaw. "Too much candy isn't good for your health."
Tenten ate her food silently, eyes flicking back and forth with every response made as if she were watching a sport of some sort. A sport that Hinata couldn't see and didn't understand the rules for.
Ino gasped. "You take that back."
"It's my candy and I'll do what I want with it."
...Hinata was starting to think they weren't talking about candy.
"This is better than the movies," Tenten whispered.
"Alright then. How about this? If you clean your plate," Sakura began to bargain over some intangible, unknowable thing that wasn't candy, cheek full of food and hair writhing on her head… That was new. "I'll let you have some candy."
What was happening ?
"The whole plate? Is that all you want me to clean? After this afternoon?" Ino's free hand crept up to her collarbone, her eyes getting strange . Moist-seeming and heavy-lidded in a way that made Hinata distinctly uncomfortable. "Are you sure you don't want me to clean your-"
"Aaaand the movie's over." Tenten stood up; Ino jolted away from Sakura, her face a whole new shade of red that Hinata had never seen before. "I'm out."
"Oh my god," Sakura breathed. She squared her shoulders and sat up, a light dusting of sweat on her face as Ino silently and suddenly ran to the restroom; a faint, muffled noise reached them not long after… It sounded like a scream. It was probably a scream. "Nothing is going to happen, Tenten."
"Coulda fooled me."
"I'm sorry."
"And the food was so good too…"
Hinata, her heart doing some very strange flips in her chest, sat. And thought. And she thought some more.
She squeaked and had some more beef.
Definitely not candy.
Very uncomfortable now.
Eep.
==========
It had been a while since the last time they'd all got together like this.
It wasn't as if Tenten had been keeping track or anything, she'd been too busy for that, but it had been nearly a year. The younger girls had had the academy as it ramped up just before graduation and she'd been with Gai-sensei, her naive excitement turning to ashes.
That energy her sensei constantly expressed was exhausting. Lee, one of her teammates, joining in on that energy was doubly exhausting. Neji, being the team jerk, was just emotionally exhausting.
Being a ninja was exhausting.
Sakura being right about something, again, had sucked. Genin work sucked. Ninja work sucked. It was a lot of busywork, then sitting around and waiting. Or sitting around and hearing Gai-sensei and Lee scream about youth. That, or being forced to do exercises for hours on end.
That, or the sort of excitement that Tenten had quickly learned to...semi-loathe. The screaming and the crying and then the quiet.
She could have left that behind without regrets.
Tenten could have gladly left behind all the dead bandits and people. That sucked.
But the loot , the weapons and armor and all sorts of ninja tools that she could add to her personal armory kept her coming back. The things you could find in the field if you really looked… Tenten wouldn't say that there was a chance that she could find a legendary weapon lying in the mud one day, but she wasn't not saying it either.
There was a chance.
She'd found a chest of ryo in a tree stump once. It kept her hopes up that it would happen again and…she hadn't hung out with anyone that wasn't her team for close to a year.
Tenten trusted her team with her life. Had trusted them and would continue to trust them and wouldn't have anyone else watching her back if she had a choice. But she couldn't talk to them like she could her friends.
They were all guys. Kunoichi had different needs and interests. That was all that needed to be said and, maybe, Neji could talk about more than fate and the products he used in his hair to keep that luster and volume.
It had been interesting for the first week but everything got old eventually; Now she was back home and on leave for the next two weeks after a dicey C-rank. She was ready for conversation. Snacks. Tea. Makeup tips and the chance to show off all the stuff she'd picked up when she'd been gone.
Just girl things. Just a normal, quiet night in.
Quiet had sounded good.
Had.
Sakura and Ino nearly fucking each other on the table right in front of her hadn't been in her intel.
Neither had Ino nearly using a jutsu on her over how the former stick of cotton candy that had once been Sakura had gained thirty pounds in muscle and eight inches in height been there either.
Sakura had been short. She'd been really short. And now she wasn't short. Or...she'd never been rail-thin, but now she looked like a wall that had grown legs and had the greatest hair in the village.
Asking questions about that was normal, wasn't it? Ino had overreacted, hadn't she? Tenten hadn't seen one of her friends in a year and, if not for that hair, she wouldn't have been able to recognize Sakura at all.
Or those eyes. Intense. They'd been kind of funny before, glaring all the time at everything in a face that was way too big for her body… Now though, Tenten wouldn't say she was intimidated, but she'd seen that same look on people that wouldn't say a word when they cut you. And Sakura hadn't even left the village yet.
… So there was that… Tenten admitted to herself that she probably could have asked later though. Without the combat language. You lost a lot of nuance in a longer conversation and Ino had been on guard from the first sentence.
It was a touchy subject. Message received. Ino and her were going to have to talk about the jutsu being pulled out and where she'd learned how to pull them off one-handed, but sure. She could say she was sorry. As soon as she learned why it was touchy.
At least Hinata was still the same.
And hadn't threatened to make her think she was eight again. Or whatever it was that Ino had been about to do. She hadn't explained before she'd been about to do it, but Tenten was sure she wouldn't have liked it.
… It looked like Hinata had stuffed a pair of overfull balloons down the front of her jacket, but at least she was still the same. Mostly. Having to nearly pick her up and run with her to get here in the first place was new. But at least she was still the same.
That meant fewer questions that had to be asked when there were already more than enough and Tenten found she could work with that.
"Do you normally have sex in front of guests, Sakura?"
Hinata, who seemed to have stopped breathing while holding half a carrot slice, mumbled something.
The poor girl.
"No." Sakura, who looked like she was trying to hide behind her hair without looking like she was hiding behind her hair, sighed. Pink strands fluttered in the wash of her breath, light and fine and jealousy-inducing. "We don't often have guests."
"We, huh?" Tenten, after a moment, retook her seat… The food was good. "Got domestic while I was away?"
A small blush rose to Sakura's cheeks. "Don't read into it."
Tenten read into it as she retook her seat. That was some serious progression from what Tenten remembered. Really serious.
Good for them.
Not the part where they were curious about having sex in public, but good for them.
"We made a mistake and forgot where we were. And when. It won't happen again." Sakura sat as well, putting a nearby topper on Ino's food as she piled her own plate high. High. Higher. "So how have things been for you, Tenten?"
That was how it was going to be, huh? Alright. Fine.
Talking about how the atmosphere had been gayer than that one time she'd worked with that theater troupe would wear out its welcome instantly, she was sure.
"You were right. That's how it was. I mean, it wasn't all bad. But you were right." Tenten went back to her meal with a sigh. "I haven't saved any kingdoms yet."
That was another thing that Tenten hadn't seriously thought would happen, but it was just a thing . Fresh genin had unrealistic expectations sometimes. Tenten hadn't been special.
"It's strange how many academy students bring that up. That or princesses," Sakura noted, her eyes closing in bliss as she took a bite of the mass of meat and vegetables speared at the end of her chopsticks. "The follies of youth."
"You're a year younger than me."
"I am old beyond my years."
… Tenten could see that. If anyone was an old woman in a teenage girl's body, it was Sakura.
"Y-you're not old," Hinata offered timidly, her head poking up out of her collar. "Have you - been getting enough sleep? You look, uhm..." Hinata paused. "Tired."
… Tenten couldn't see that. Sakura had always had that look on her face...but, Hinata was the Hyuuga; she was the one with the special eyes.
"I was just kidding, Hinata. But thank you for asking." Sakura deflected that observation with a hum and Hinata nodded, also timidly. "Eight hours a night when I can."
And she looked tired?
"Eight hours? A full eight hours?" Tenten asked, unsure if Sakura was joking or not. It was rare, but it happened. And she personally hadn't had that much sleep since she'd graduated. "That's all?"
"It should be more. I agree." Sakura responded...oddly. Eight a night was a luxury as it was. What did she want to be, a Nara? "But I get what I can, when I can." She shrugged. "I'm not going to be getting as much as I want later, now am I?"
Tenten sat back, stunned. So simple. So obvious. "That's genius ."
So something she should have done when she'd had the chance.
"You can do the same thing. Right now."
"You don't know Gai-sensei."
"Hmm. True. I know Lee more. And I hear they're similar." Sakura rapped the tips of her nails on the table. The short, dull ones between her thumb and pinky that she'd had since forever… She hadn't even tried to hide that she was gay, had she? That theater troupe had taught Tenten more than she'd thought. "Sleep must be rare."
"From the crack of dawn until noon, we train," Tenten said hollowly, food falling from the end of her utensils as her grip loosened. "We do a mission. Then we train. Then I eat. Then, I sleep."
It wasn't that bad. Tenten was exaggerating. Slightly. The first few weeks with Gai-sensei had been absolutely hellish. Backbreaking. Nerve-wracking...but totally worth every single second.
Gai-sensei had been the one to outfit her with her first weapon, and her first sealing scroll. And the training to use both of those things the way she wanted to use them.
She complained, she missed sleep, but it was worth it.
"Sounds nice. You're lucky." The wistful nod Sakura gave her said that the younger kunoichi wasn't joking. "My sensei misses the stuffed dog he used to sleep with and keeps getting lost on the way to the training ground."
What?
"I heard about that," Hinata interjected breathlessly, her arms shifting in that way they did when she was poking her fingers together under the table. "K-Kurenai-sensei says that we shouldn't spread rumors… No matter how funny they are." She trailed off, gathered herself, then pushed on. "I don't think I was supposed to hear that last part…"
"Naruto talks. Word gets out." Sakura shrugged yet again. "You'd have heard it from somewhere. And it is pretty funny."
"Copycat Kakashi can't sleep without a stuffed dog? The man of a thousand jutsu? My sensei's great rival?"
"I wouldn't say he can't sleep without it...but he is pretty obsessed with it." Sakura leaned forward. "He asks about it at least three times a day."
Hinata nodded. "I heard that too."
'Wow', Tenten mouthed. She'd heard the man had a porn problem, but this too? Maybe he'd taken that one mission too many after all. "But he makes up for it, right?"
"I've learned how to paint a fence without anyone noticing and how to weed a garden in five minutes."
Tenten waited.
Sakura didn't offer anything more. She just continued to eat and left the rest of the question hanging.
"You're shitting me."
"I wish."
There was a muffled scream that halted the conversation.
Tenten sat upright, heart beating fast as she reached for a scroll.
"It's just Ino."
Tenten sat back down, scroll untouched. That made sense. Of course Ino was screaming in the bathroom. The surprise was that Sakura wasn't… Ino would get it together. On her own time. "How are you dealing with that?"
"Well, Mom and Dad get me scrolls…"
Ah...gossip.
Tenten slouched in her chair, further yet.
This was nice.
==========
Later, several hours later, after two of my guests had left and Ino had gone to hide under my blankets upstairs, still screaming into the void, I smiled. Took a breath. Smacked the door with my forehead, gently, and closed my eyes.
I want to die.