owie108
The writing is pretty good. There are only a few grammar issues, but there is enough time in between that they don't really detract from the story. The story is really just getting started so it's hard to judge its development, but everything that has happened seems reasonable. I dinged the Character Design for creating a proto-Gary Stu. There is still some room for growth so it's not a huge issue, but protags should have weaknesses as well as strengths. The World Background is the strong point so far. The author hasn't gone into extensive detail, but does state, in a more oblique way, that the Fallout universe is more expansive than of that depicted in the games which makes it seem more genuine. Looking forward to more chapters.