My deepest condolences, Uncle Tao.. ( edited)

Thirty-one years. That's how long it felt since a rogue car turned Chen Yang into a isekai protagonist in this strange world. Back on Earth, he'd been the king of spreadsheets, a mild-mannered accountant at a school.

Here, in this realm ruled by strength, money meant nothing without the muscle to protect it.

Chen Yang could have used his accounting skills to become a millionaire, but his personality landed somewhere between a mimosa and a wet noodle. So, he ended up back in his comfort zone, crunching numbers at the local Pavilion after a year of soul-crushing job hunting..

His predecessor, an orphan with only a sister for company, clearly inherited some good genes – both siblings were lookers. Fourteen years ago, at the tender age of sixteen, his sister married a hotshot cultivator from a nearby town, leaving him to fend for himself.

Despite years of dedicated training that would make a sloth look energetic, Chen Yang's lack of talent kept him stuck at the third level of body tempering cultivation.

"Man, time flies when you're perpetually stuck at the beginner level," he grumbled, a sigh escaping his lips like a deflated whoopee cushion. "Forty-seven already. Maybe I should take up knitting."

Clearing his head with a mental snap, Chen Yang asked"System, what can you do?"

"This is an Exposure System," the system replied in a monotone. "Think of it as blackmail with benefits. You expose someone's secret, you get a reward. New features unlock as you level up. Explore them at your own pace."

"Do you have, like, a beginner's pack or something?" Chen Yang asked hopefully. 

"One beginner's gift pack has been sent. Please accept it yourself," the system replied.

"Open the beginner's gift pack!" Chen Yang commanded eagerly.

A warm glow surrounded him as the system intoned, "You have received a Slight Potential reward - your cultivation qualification has increased by 10 points (white level).

×2 reward for a 1 year as host is too old ."

Chen Yang could barely believe his luck! This system's gift meant his lack of talent was no longer a roadblock. He grasped the simple concept - expose secrets, get rewards, and power up.

Just then, a familiar voice cut through his thoughts. "Chen Yang, any sign of that Essence Rejuvenation powder shipment yet? ."

It was Ye Ming, a stunning young cultivator with eyes that could melt glaciers and a smile that could launch a thousand fantasies. Unfortunately, those fantasies belonged solely to Chen Yang's perpetually lovesick friend, Li Yan.

A mischievous grin, wider than his questionable fashion sense, spread across Chen Yang's face. This was his moment to shine (or possibly get struck by lightning).

"Nope, but actually," he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously at Ye Ming.

The poor girl shivered under his unexpected gaze. Li Yan, who had materialized beside her like a lovesick puppy following a scent trail, cleared his throat loudly. "Anything new on the shipment, Chen?"

""Hold that thought, Li Yan," Chen Yang interjected, reveling in his newfound power to play cupid. Leaning in conspiratorially towards Ye Ming, he lowered his voice to a stage whisper, "Didn't you know our resident lovesick poet over here has been secretly writing poems about your dazzling smile?"

Ye Ming's cheeks flushed the color of a ripe sunset. Her eyes darted between Chen Yang's mischievous grin and Li Yan's stammering protests.

Li Yan, ever the picture of flustered devotion, sputtered, "Chen! That's...nonsense! I mean, uh, Ye Ming is a very...respected cultivator and—"

"See?" Chen Yang winked at Ye Ming, completely ignoring Li Yan's increasingly frantic denials. "The man's a poet at heart, just too shy to admit it."

Ye Ming giggled, a sound like wind chimes on a gentle breeze. Li Yan, on the other hand, looked like he might spontaneously combust. Chen Yang, ever the master of pushing boundaries (or perhaps just oblivious social cues), decided to press his luck.

"Maybe," he continued, feigning innocence, "he'd be more forthcoming if you, say, 'accidentally' bumped into him while walking home tonight? Just a thought."

With that bombshell dropped, Chen Yang turned back to his work, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. He stole a glance at Li Yan, who was currently engaged in a silent battle between mortification and the urge to strangle his best friend. Ye Ming, however, seemed intrigued. A playful glint shone in her eyes as she sent Li Yan a hesitant smile.

Just then, the system's voice chimed in, breaking the delicious tension. "Congratulations! You have successfully exposed a secret. Reward: 6 years of cultivation progress. "

A surge of energy coursed through Chen Yang, invigorating his body. He'd jumped from the third level to the fifth level of body tempering! The power thrumming within him made him want to leap over the counter and do a celebratory cartwheel.

Thankfully, he restrained himself, settling for a casual fist pump instead.

Meanwhile, Li Yan, having finally regained his composure (somewhat), turned to Chen Yang with a sigh. "You know," he said, his voice laced with mock disappointment, "sometimes I wonder if you're secretly a demon in disguise, sent to torment me."

Chen Yang chuckled. "Hey, I'm just trying to help a love story blossom! Besides, a little chaos never hurt anyone, right?"

Li Yan rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. As Ye Ming bid them farewell, a playful wink in Chen Yang's direction, he couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, his friend's meddling might actually lead him somewhere.

Drunk on this newfound power (and maybe a little giddy from the whole situation), Chen Yang breezed through his work.

Who needed to be stealthy anymore? He could outrun any grumpy boss who dared chase him!

....

As the Pavilion's doors finally groaned shut for the night, marking the end of another mind-numbing shift for Chen Yang, he practically skipped home. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes, a stark contrast to his usual hunched posture.

Suddenly, he spotted his neighbor, Auntie Jiang, watering her prize-winning roses. Seeing an opportunity.

Chen Yang sauntered over, a playful grin replacing his earlier mischief. "Good evening, Auntie Jiang! Where's Uncle Tao venturing off to tonight?"

The matronly woman smiled at his approach. "Why, little Chen! Your uncle is just out drinking with his friends again, the old rascal."

Chen Yang leaned in conspiratorially, dropping his voice to a teasing whisper. "Actually, Auntie Jiang... I might have seen Uncle Tao slipping into a... well, a rather disreputable establishment last night."

The effect was instant. Auntie Jiang's face drained of color, replaced by a fiery red flush. "You don't mean it, young man!" she sputtered, her voice laced with disbelief and a hint of rising fury.

With a mock-serious nod, Chen Yang replied, "Would I ever lie to you, Auntie Jiang? I'm just looking out for you, like always."

""GRRR!" Auntie Jiang's growl sent shivers down Chen Yang's spine. It was a sound that could curdle milk and shatter windows.

She spun on her heel like a whirlwind and stormed inside, slamming the door with a resounding bang that echoed down the street.

Chen Yang watched with amusement as Auntie Jiang stormed inside, muttering threats under her breath. Suddenly, the ground trembled slightly, and a gust of wind ripped through the street.

Chen Yang's jaw dropped in shock as Auntie Jiang's frail form shimmered for a moment, revealing a muscular warrior beneath.

"That blasted Tao!" she roared, her voice booming like thunder. "He'll regret crossing Auntie Jiang!"

A bewildered Chen Yang leaned against the wall, his mind racing. Maybe exposing Uncle Tao wouldn't be quite as harmless as he initially thought.