CH #10 - Shadow of the Past

"All set. Time to start yet another shitty day already..."

In that silent room, Cast organized the school supplies he would need to put to use in his backpack. He inspected everything with triple the care, just to make sure he hadn't forgotten the math homework whose deadline was just today. Ensuring that nothing was left behind, the boy with eyes scarlet like living blood closed the zippers, forcing them to join in a noisy kiss.

He might've tried to get up from the bed he was sitting on, if it weren't for a single detail that didn't seem to want to be moved away.

"Emi… Emi. Oh, I can't believe you slept there..."

Cast took a deep breath, somewhat surprised, barely able to make any effort to get the black cat to get up from there. Emi was snugly wrapped around herself, the tip of her tail touching one ear, lying down and sleeping like an obsidian rock over the boy's pelvis.

As much as he didn't want to, Cast would inevitably have to wake the little animal from its loose comfort. He needed to go to school, and quite contrary to what he would have liked, the boy couldn't bring the cat with him. Emi would love to spend a little more of her time with the owner, and as on this occasion, she tried to take advantage of every second to communicate with the partner of a few years.

In fact, the black cat was Cast's only housemate. Were it not for the occasional pampered meows and objects being knocked off the shelves, the place would have its days filled with utter silence, a heavy stillness that is not comfortable in the slightest. Everything would be darker if it weren't for those sapphire blue eyes that weren't glowing at the moment because they were closed.

That scene could go on for as long as it thought it should, however, the reality was unfortunately different, and it forced an unwanted awakening on both of them.

That break in harmony came in the form of a sound as unexpected as it was unwanted. They both knew what it meant, and soon their faces were filled with the discomfort of the noise rushing so violently into their ears.

The home phone was ringing, signaling that someone was trying to establish contact with the home's resident. The sound was loud and sudden, loud enough to wake the cat with a start, causing it to leap away from Cast and hide in a space at the end of the room, a slightly dark corner that the still so dim morning sunlight did not reach. That startled the animal so much that it even avoided its friend's attempts to approach.

Realizing that Emi wasn't in her most receptive state to any kind of cuddling or caring after that terrifying sound, Cast glanced toward the hallway. The bedroom door was open, and with it, green lights, spilling out and spreading along the obscured path, gently tinged the wall in an almost imperceptible way.

He didn't turn on any lights. The boy walked quickly, wondering at the same time he half knew who it was at this early morning moment. In the partial darkness, he captured the white, plastic-textured device, directing its audio output and voice input to the left side of the face. For a moment, he even wondered why he still had a landline at home, even after so many years after they had gone out of popular use.

"Who the hell is it?" His voice came out sharp and crisp, displaying his equally bitter mood.

It didn't take long for the person on the other end to introduce herself. A hoarse voice, aged like a piece of metal abandoned in the middle of a pool of water, rusting. It was the voice of an elderly woman – one he knew very well and very much disliked.

"Oh my… Still rude as usual, huh, boy? I wonder when you will learn to treat other people with due respect."

Hearing that, there was no response. Cast couldn't speak as he used all his might to hold back the words that tried to force themselves out through his teeth. He bit down firmly on his own tongue until the iron taste was felt to spread through his mouth, pinning the lower and upper halves of his mouth together with immense hatred.

Meanwhile, the elderly woman continued to speak in the way he so hated to hear.

"I just called to say that this month's amount has already been deposited. Don't come talk to me later and say you ran out of money. I won't give you any more for the month. Learn to use it."

Every second listening to that scratchy record, full of cracks and hoarseness was like great emotional torture, almost comparable to having a screwdriver slowly inserted into your ear, the cold metal touching and slowly breaking the eardrum as it causes endless agony.

However, as much as he didn't want to prolong this conversation any longer, a question popped into the boy's mind, the only one that needed to be asked. Cast parted his lips, freeing his tongue for speech, and taking the risky gamble of letting the words flow as a result.

"How's Julia...?"

His voice shook like the sound of a scratched record. It was hard to hide the maelstrom of emotions rising from the core. Deep breaths were failed attempts to calm down and prevent an explosion that would only make the situation worse, and not yield any response.

"She is doing very well. Much better than you, that's for sure! That girl is a prodigy... She skipped two grades due to sheer intellect and is now studying at an elite academy here in England... Unlike you who are still stuck in this pigsty. Much unlike you, she's not a failure, boy. Get inspired and try to change, as much as I don't think it's possible for you... Or maybe someday I'll end up biting my tongue?"

A thud heard by the elderly woman ended her speech sooner than expected. Cast punched the closest wall he could find, creating a great reverberation that was heard loudly even through the old model telephone.

They didn't even bother trying to hide their contempt for him. Her words were especially aimed at affecting, belittling, and above all, hurting him. Everything was explicit, thrown right in the face with all of force.

"She's 14 now, and it's been so long since those days that she literally forgot about you. It's been a while since she last asked about her brother, I think about three years... Anyway, she's much better off without you. Julia Williams is our gold mine, so we have to take good care of her."

"Julia Williams...?" Cast questioned, between micropauses. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Yes. It was Sona herself who decided to change her name. It is no good for her to remember that-"

"Fuck you, motherfucking rag!"

Before he could complete it, Cast forced the phone back into its wall support, slamming it down hard. Then, to take away all the feelings that build their pressure inside, punched the wall several times, shouting the most scandalous insults aloud.

That name – Sona Williams. She was none other than the person most hated by him in the entire world, the one he had once had the innocence to call "mother". Nowadays, Cast felt nothing but pure spite for her, wanting painful punishment for the woman who had taken everything he had.

He would never forgive her – that's what he promised to his old man's grave after the day that tragedy happened. Since that day – the day she was the actor in that incident seven years ago, the woman has become his greatest tormentor and main memory of hate. That true venomous snake was responsible for nothing but tearing the family apart, taking Julia – Cast's sister who was 7 at the time – away, making her forget about her true family.

There wasn't a chance in hell he could negotiate the grudge he felt for her and her name as a whole. She treated him like a bastard, a simple big bag full of nothing. Seven years ago, and at the time ten years old, he was literally left where he now found himself, while his sister was taken away. She left him utterly helpless, with no one to turn to.

The coal-haired boy could only thank infinitely for the good will of the only neighbor who bothered to take in a child in his worst state of agony. That person's help was the only thing that allowed him to survive so far.

She forced him to live out his days as a miserable, and didn't doubt she took some sort of sick pleasure in the knowledge that her own son had to fend for himself on a highly constrained monthly budget. Heavy sadism surrounded every penny she sent him in a monthly basis, forcing the boy to accept that he literally lived on crumbs.

Since that day, he couldn't look at life the same way, seeing it the way it truly is. Aside from himself, his benevolent neighbor, and his only housemate, no one else knew about anything, and he did his best to keep things that way.

He walked to the bathroom. The light was blinding, as the eyes got used to the darkness of that corridor. There, Cast looked at himself in the mirror, and carefully removed the expression of hatred. As with every day, it was time to put on a sarcastic smile and think of silly comments to fill the patience of people who found him funny or not. Anything to take the young man's mind off such names, and away from his own reality.

Coming out of the bathroom, Cast looked at Emi. The cat's eyes gleamed, staring at him intently, even in the near complete darkness. He knelt down, stroking the underside of its chin as he smiled. His face was that of a completely different person.

It was once again time to pretend to be someone he wasn't – time to put on a mask, to wear a false personality, but that at the same time was the only thing that managed to be better than the failure he represented.

***

"Hey, did you know I've always been disappointed in our healthcare system?"

She exhaled. Surely something highly idiotic would come out of it. It wasn't as if listening to another one of his daydreams could do any harm, though.

"Once I went to a routine checkup, I was in line waiting to be seen. It was an eye exam. Then I saw a scene that made me very angry... Do you want to know what it was?"

Lira nodded. Without even knowing it, a small smile was displayed on her thin, red lips. She desperately tried to hide it after perceiving it was there.

"So... There was this guy in line, then when it was his turn, the doctor said he couldn't see him at the time... That made me very angry... They made this prejudice against him just because the guy was invisible...! Go figure the state of our nation!"

At the end of the joke, Cast crossed his arms and put on a characteristic expression of one who was sulking at the situation. Lira couldn't help but laugh about it openly, if only for a little while.

The two of them were the only ones in the room at the time. The lights were off, which meant to say that the space had little light, being lit internally only by the solar irradiation that came in through the window. Half the room was almost invisible in the darkness when that was the case.

However, the two were usually seated in the exact center of the place, meaning both were right in the dimly lit area.

Lira laughed at the joke and had no turning back. As always, Cast managed to say something amusing, anything randomly silly and strangely ingenious, but that could make her forget for a moment all the various oppressive thoughts surrounding the mind.

Fact was that day felt somehow different in her eyes.

Cast was silent after the joke, and that wasn't natural. She could see that there was something wrong with him. The gestures were cruder, the postures less relaxed, and the eyes much sharper. His lips were also closer together than usual, and the brows more drawn, closer to his eyes. Realizing this, she chose to question him about it.

"Worried about something?" She asked, getting to the heart of an issue that hadn't yet been discussed.

For a moment, Cast looked surprised. Her lips parted and her eyes widened. Two seconds of silence later, the answer came at last.

"Yeah… I'm a little bit. I haven't been able to get any of this out of my head for a while, you know?"

The encounter with Keith Webb, his death, and the unexplainable details of the circumstances surrounding the town of Elderlog and the rest of the world left an impression on Cast. Lira saw that hearing those words severely changed his way of seeing the world and reacting to this whole new reality that violently blossomed around them all.

But even with all his attempts to make his problem visible and palpable to her, Lira could see that his apprehension was rooted in a much deeper inner rock. Cast exuded strong feelings, things he tried to hide, and the girl realized this thanks to her superhuman talent.

More specifically, the ability to read the feelings of others allowed her to see.

"If you want to talk about it, I will listen to you." She spoke, softly.

Cast parted his lips when that message arrived, then raised his right eyebrow. He'd expected something like this from literally anyone – even the fat mustachioed named "math teacher" – but hearing that from Lira was just weird because it was so "out of character".

Even so, he didn't decide to take it any further. Maybe she really wanted to help, but his problems belonged to him alone – not to mention it's not like she could do anything about it.

"Since I won't be able to hide it... It's nothing. Don't bother with it. These are my problems." He replied, smiling and using his hand as a kind of duster to send her doubts away.

In no time, he averted his gaze from the blackboard. A few white lines, although quite faded, could be seen to create almost illegible letters. Cast's face reacted as he felt something soft touch his right hand.

"I want to hear it, Cast. It is my wish."

He looked in that direction. The girl's hand covered his from above, feeding him the heat she gave off. Cast's fingers were cold, causing little temperature shocks every second.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before putting on a smile and speaking.

"This power of yours is unfair, you know?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I can't even hide things from you... If I'm angry, you know... If I'm scared, you know too... I can never hide anything from you, can I? No matter how much I pretend or what kind of expression I force into this face… You always know."

Lira looked at the wooden surface of the table in front of her at this, considering what to say.

"You don't need to hide it from me, you know? It's not like I'm going to judge you."

Once again he raised his eyebrow, this time showing a more intense reaction.

"Since when did you learn to empathize with the feelings of others? Wait... Who are you and what have you done with the Lira I know?!"

But this was neither the place nor the time for games. Lira didn't show any reaction to the boy's joke, just looking at him with something that, although it looked like it, wasn't pity.

... ... ...

"Yeah, you may not, but I will... I'm so going to judge myself for telling you." Cast finally relented, falling back into his normal mood.

Hearing that made her lips quiver. After all, there was nothing she could do for him, and as much as she would rather die than have to openly admit it, hearing such thing made her feel terribly useless as a friend.

Another day, another try. She wouldn't stop trying.

Deciding then to follow Cast in his silence, the young woman with mean-looking, sharp eyes turned her gaze to the window, staring at the blue sky that carried her thoughts far into the past.

... ... ...

It happened in the second half of school year. Lira had just arrived in town from Washington, and everyone saw her as nothing more than a snobbish, showy girl they should be away from. Due to her wealthy background, the other students did not feel comfortable around her, and in their minds, the young woman was just another spoiled girl who used to go shopping every weekend and spend thousands of dollars on expensive clothes.

The first few weeks passed, and whenever she tried to get closer to someone, the attempt was always denied. The rumors and lies about her were already too widespread, and everyone avoided the girl. Soon, six long months of pure isolation came. For more than 180 days, she remained alone, left to her own devices. They didn't want to do group work, and always excluded her from the physical education teams.

Why were people like that? What's wrong with giving her a chance to show that she's not a bad person as some say? For a long time, she was left alone, so much so that she even came to believe that everything they said was really true. Was she really a snob, a person as unreachable as the image they spread?

Lira had always seen herself as someone too proud to admit that she lived in an ocean of trouble, but it wasn't like it had to be like this forever! Even if she didn't want to admit wanting company, people still didn't have that right to exclude her without even knowing her true face.

...Well, it wasn't like she was going to reveal it right away to anyone either... So maybe they were right?

Yes. She was rude, had a snobbish look, was way too smart, and had those scary eyes that would make anyone shiver in the deepest fear at a serious stare. Her speaking was too complicated and polite to blend in, and the posture as she walks is not even begun.

For months, the 16-year-old believed that. In her mind, she didn't deserve any friendship, and above all, she couldn't rely on other people, as after all, from birth she was taught that this would be her world – a cold place of no compassion.

... But it was then that everything changed in one fateful day.

The vacation was over, and soon the whole boring routine promised to repeat itself, but she held her ground, holding all her pride as a person using all the arms of her heart. The problems weren't bigger than her – they couldn't be.

Even if she was hated and fated to spent all that time without a single person to call "friend", Lira wouldn't give up on her pride – the very thing she could hold on to in order to survive.

But then, "He" arrived. That weird, messy-haired guy one day casually sat next to her at the table during lunch break as if it meant nothing at all.

Such courage... Or was he simply clueless? Didn't he know he was dealing with the most repulsive and prideful person in the entire school?

"Yo, what's up? Can I sit here? It's just that I couldn't find any other place. You don't mind, do you?"

And so, without even thinking twice, he took the liberty of being there.

"Damn... I was already late on the first day... And if that wasn't enough, they stole my A-Z briefcase full of papers that I spent hours arranging and a bunch of post-its... It can only be organized crime!"

That was the first joke he told. She laughed – a little, but she did. Lira tried to hide it as hard as she could, but her lips moved anyway. And to her surprise, that popular young man, smiling and surrounded by other students, was in the same classes as her.

At first, she imagined that it would pass, and his interest in her would end in a few days. He was just using her as a temporary source of entertainment while he couldn't find anyone more interesting to bother. That could only be it.

But the reality turned out to be different and it didn't happen the way she imagined in the slightest, much to the young Suzuki's surprise.

Every day he tried to approach her and talk, telling jokes and other funny things – each time trying harder. He smiled for her, and over time, she started to smile too. The girl always thought about how strange that boy was, after all, who would ignore common sense and willingly interact with her?

And it went on and on and on, and the two of them got to where they were today. Two best friends who promised – even without any words being openly said – to always be by each other's side, no matter the situation.

So seeing it hurt. It couldn't help but hurt. Cast helped Lira so many times and made her open up a little more to the world that rejected the girl so much, just so that in the end, there was nothing she could do for him in return.

A few weeks ago, Lira gained the ability to feel other people's emotions. It was like an aura that came out of them, a constant pulse of energy that varied with the type and intensity of the emotion. In cases where it showed itself very strongly, such energy was even visible, and when it could be seen in those rare moments, usually took the form of a colored mist that surrounded the body.

The point was, since that day, she's seen Cast in a different way. He was always surrounded by a dense, dark mist – a kind of smoke that covered him like a cloak an emperor wears – clinging to his neck and descending towards his feet like a pair of hooks. Lira couldn't tell what that thing was no matter how hard she tried, as it was so different from every feeling she'd ever seen – something indeterminate, dense and deep, that was being released from every pore in his body constantly.

She couldn't erase it no matter how hard she tried.

Naturally, her special talent also allowed her to manipulate the emotions of others, and for that, would first have to find out what kind of feeling it was so that she could either extinguish or amplify it. In Cast's case, there was nothing she could do. There was no way to end the black smoke, no matter how hard were the attempts to.

But today, she especially worried. The smoke was especially thick, and for the first time it climbed to head height. It fell like a cloak, and she could barely see his face behind that air of darkness.

In deep thoughts, Lira slipped her fingers under the bookcase that was located between the planks of the table that was on her left side. The smooth surface ran as usual as usual, sliding under her fingers almost like a soapy floor.

"Huh?"

... Until that sensation ceased to exist.

Lira quickly looked back at the table, pulling at the thing which, though still smooth, was strangely rougher and more wrinkled than wood. She then pulled what was down there.

Both were consumed by the shock of what had made its way between the girl's fingers. Eyes widened, and small gasps of pure surprise cut through the room at the revelation of the small white envelope, identical to the one they'd seen before, placed under the chair so innocently.

"But this is...!" Cast was the first to react, jumping out of his chair to stand beside Lira.

"It's one of those envelopes... Someone was trying to create a new user of these powers." Lira theorized, revealing her hypothesis fraught with uncertainty.

What was it doing there? Was it something that someone in particular was meant to find, or was it just random, ready to be picked by anyone?

"Damn... We managed to intercept one, but who guarantees there aren't others?!" Cast bared his teeth. "There's no doubt about it... It's one of those things!"

Lira wasted no time, quickly opening her backpack to pull out a roll of transparent tape. She covered the entire envelope in the sticky wrapper, making sure it wouldn't be opened by accident and end up spilling its contents into the air.

"Let's wait for Ryan to arrive. Classes are about to start, so he'll be showing up soon." Lira spoke. "We need to find out who is spreading these letters."

Just when it couldn't get any worse, the shadow once again stretched over the city, casting the three of them back with the responsibility of bringing a shard of light.