C*ck and Ball Torture - 2020 MLG Pro Edition

"You know, it felt like the last time we talked was around two years ago."

"Don't be crazy, Verizon, we talked just a few days ago on Pancake-etta.

Honestly, I don't know how I'm not freaking out right now.

You ditched me, a perfectly HOT and HORNY REAL princess with huge tits and a fat ass for a pancake with sugar-cubes for tits. A literal fucking pancake with sugar-cubes for tits.

I'm not seething right now. I'm prime grade-A tsundere material right in front of YOUR FUCKING FACE and all you can do is stick your dingally dong in some goddamn concoction of flour and eggs and maple-fucking-syrup.

You utter FUCKING dumbass.

Wait a minute, I haven't had a chance to actually speak because there's usually a dumb-as-bricks magical-rock-senpai thingy rolling around and making everyone mad by being a very poor implementation of this novel's requisite comedy relief."

"MY POPPA WAS A ROLLING STONE~"

"Oh. There he is. I spoke too soon."

With equal parts scorn, disgust, and sadness, Tiddy gave the rock a ten-thousand-yard stare.

"What would it take for you to leave us and never come here again?

"Hoh hoh hoh, you're talking to me? I'm as stiff as a rock m'lady, I'm trying to get my rocks off and the only way I can do it is by being a deliberately bad and annoying character, you know, like Rey from Star Wars, or Kylo Ren from the first movie from the Star Wars sequels before anything was properly explained, or literally any character from Twilight."

"Please, I'll give you almost anything. Just don't exist within a 1,000,000 kilometer radius of myself. That's all I ask."

"HMMMM. You drive a rock-hard bargain, little lass. Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Give me frosted spikes, a black shirt with fire stuff on t, and some sunglasses. I'll agree to those terms as long as I get them."

"DEA-

*couhohcuhohj*

Deal."

After coughing like a retard, Tiddy finally got herself under control.

"Here, I signed the contract, let us never see each other EVER again. Thanks."

"Hoh hoh, thank you, young lady. MY NAME IS ROCK FIERI AND YOU'RE NOW IN FLAVORTOWN."

"Our agreement, Rock Fieri."

"Oh yes, I'll be out of your hair now. Toodles~"

*squish squish*

"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU COPPING A FEEL IF YOU HAVE NO HANDS? FUCK OFF."

And with that, Rock-Senpai was no more. OR IS HE?????!?!?!?!?11??

"Now to see what Verizon is up to..."

-----------------------------------------

Teaser for next chapter:

"Why the hell are you sticking your dick in pancakes?"