webnovel

Essential NPC with a Chicken

Bob the barn owner from Bagel village. An Essential tutorial NPC, typical of any game. One fine morning, Bob gains sentience and begins to question his immortal humanity. Immersion Online. A Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Open World Role-Playing Game (VRMMORPG) that took the continent of Asia by storm. In that game, nobody expected a certain tutorial NPC would dominate the meta. Follow the adventures of Bob on his journey to discover just what he really is and laugh along with his shenanigans. Just a heads-up, this is a gag novel so if you laugh you lose. If you have anything to say to me personally, send me a DM on discord at Goat#9660

SquareGoat · Games
Not enough ratings
253 Chs

Conclusion

"Damn it. We've been looking for clues for an entire day but we couldn't find anything. And now we're out looking for the party that found it but there's no information about anything!"

An angry man with bulging muscles scratched his head in a tantrum. Livid with the fact that he wasted an entire day, he couldn't help but complain.

"Shut it. Do you expect to find the separate pieces of the story easily?"

A woman wearing robes laden with pure golden tendrils protruding bickered with the angry man. Her mouth continued moving, however.

"This is why you turned bald. You have no chill. Pfft."

She said as she looked at the man's shiny head.

"You! You know that this is only a game. I am not bald!" The bald man replied in anger.

"Then why'd you name yourself as 'Balding Man?' Pffft." The woman ridiculed Balding Man even further.

"You! Ugh. How many times are you going to use this insult?" Balding Man experienced this harassment plenty of times already.

"Hahaha. Until I draw my last breath, maybe I'll consider stopping then."

The woman may have been rude, but her purpose for inciting Balding Man was achieved. Balding Man was slightly agitated because of not producing the result he was hoping for.

"Thanks. You know me too well." Balding Man knew what the woman just did and appreciated her.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?"

The woman turned her back towards Balding Man and hummed. She walked leisurely leaving Balding Man behind. Balding Man thought to himself before speaking up.

"Hey, Logos."

"Yea?"

"Won't you join my guild?"

"Hmm, why should I, 'Balding Man.' Pffft."

"Damn you!"

"Damn me? Yet you want me in your guild?"

"Tch. So, what do you think?"

"This isn't the first time we had this conversation. You already know my answer, Clive."

"I see. Can you at least tell me why?"

"Hmmm. Should I?"

Logos turned around to look at Balding Man, Clive's face. What she saw was a face that was determined to know. All of the time she's been with Clive, she never got too deep when talking about herself.

Logos could no longer avoid this situation. She was acting all too cutesy so she deserved it. And seeing that Clive wasn't saying anything more, she had to say something.

"Look, Clive. We have this great online relationship for so long, isn't it a shame to destroy it?"

"Why? I'm only asking you to join my guild."

Balding Man couldn't understand why Logos wouldn't join his guild. They've been playing online games together for more than a year yet the only person who opened up was him.

"I-. I just can't tell you." Logos was hesitant.

Balding Man's mood turned for the worst. He knew what to expect but he still kept trying. Due to the constant denial, he finally stopped simping in his head and used it.

After thinking for a while, he concluded.

"No! It can't be!" He held his bald in-game head in denial.

He suddenly held both of Logos' shoulder and shook her from side to side.

"Tell me, Logos!"

'Oh no. He's onto me.'

Logos panicked in her head. She couldn't let Clive know that she was his ex-girlfriend in real life. She regretted leaving him and connected with him using a dummy account.

"You! You're a guy!" Balding Man said what he was thinking.

"Eh?"

[A page of a chapter has been completed. Details will be published in an upcoming lore comic. Users who were a part of the event will also be drawn.]

"EHH?" Logos was even more confused.

"Wow. That was unexpected. So, are you a guy?"

-

After realizing that he almost got done in, Bob felt relieved by the fact that the god he served was watching over him. However, he realized something after thinking for a bit.

"You want me to die?"

Bob remembered his god's words.

[Yes, why aren't you dying?]

[System Prompt: A holy force is purifying your body.]

[Your HP value has reached 0]

[Blah blah blah, he's an essential]

Bob's body was being harassed by Meteder's holiness. Considering that his blood was now mixed with those that are unholy, being purified means that he will die.

"I don't know. You should know, you're the god that created me."

[Well, I don't know either. Hmm. Can I reboot you?]

"Reboot?"

[Yea. Have you ever heard of the Phoenix Legend? Let's try that.]

"No. What is this legend?"

"Hey. Are you ignoring me?"

Ligma's dominatrix voice cut right in. She interrupted the discussion between Bob and Meteder and that fact irked her so much.

[Ahahaha. The bound man, the god, and the audacity of this bitch. Silence!]

THUD!

Ligma, who displayed extreme power since earlier was suddenly put down on the ground. Her eyes were shaking, filled with confusion. She could feel a force that penetrated her psychic defense weighing down heavily on her.

"Na- Na. Why isn't my magic working?"

One thing that people in power always have a hard time dealing with are situations where they're no longer in control.

"My slave. Heed my call and release me this instant!"

Ligma still thought that she had the upper hand in this confrontation. She didn't think that a god's presence was in the vicinity.

"You get what you fucking deserved." Bob mocked her.

He wasn't in her control, Meteder made sure of that. And the act of poaching his follower right under his nose angered the god and made him act.

[I'll explain the details later. For now, maybe you should take care of, that.]

"As you will it." Bob readied his spear as he replied.

Thrust~

Stab~

Pull~

Just like during the conception of life where a man thrusts his spear inside a woman repeatedly while she moaned, the slow and painful torture of the vampire royalty was, well, satisfactory for her.

"More!"

She came to like it. She never experienced being the sub in her past relationships.

But alas, her relationship with Bob came to an end eventually.

[That's enough. This isn't going to work. Begone!]

Then suddenly, Ligma was nowhere to be seen. Meteder understood that his subject was a bit too weak to deal with a vampire royalty.

[Listen here. I broke the convention between gods to save your hide today. Do not speak of this incident ever happening.]

Bob understood that he couldn't deal with the lusty vampire with his current prowess. He didn't sulk for he knew that he was weak but he also knew that he couldn't die.

[About that phoenix thing, forget about it. I meddled too much here.]

"Oh. Okay."

Bob casually replied. He doesn't know how to act like a gourmet's knight as he just recently became one and that he was just a farm boy before being an adventurer.

[There is one thing. Is that your chicken over there?]

Bob, overwhelmed with all the stuff around him, acted like a stranger, but when he remembered his chicken, he was suddenly energetic.

"Come here!" He enthusiastically said as he pats his shoulders.

"Cluck!"

Lavanuk didn't know what was happening. One second she got thrown outside, the next she didn't even know where she was. And now, her owner has his stupid smile on his face again.

[Hey. So it is indeed your chicken. You might want to cut down a bit on the feeding, she's getting too strong for her body. And if you're doing it just to fatten her, you better stop.]

"Too strong?"

[You will see one day if things continue the way you've been doing.]

"Is she in danger?" Bob couldn't help but worry.

However, there was no reply. The god Meteder's presence was suddenly absent and the holy voice was silent.

Gods are not meant to meddle with mortal affairs. They are, after all, gods. They're immortal beings who can't die despite suffering all sorts of injuries. To be frank, they're invincible, at least for now.

Now that the crisis the party faced is gone, things calmed down within the estate. Annera was silent throughout the ordeal. She experienced being violated by another woman and that alone was traumatic enough.

Bob, on the other hand, took the experience as if it was to be expected.

'This world isn't what it used to be.'

"Cluck."

When things got silent, the tattletales who were left alive arrived and boy are they loud.

"What happened here?"

"Oh my god! He's so skinny!"

They asked questions out loud but didn't specifically ask a person who was involved in the conflict. And due to their involvement in this matter, the event would surely become public knowledge.

[A page of a chapter has been completed. Details will be published in an upcoming lore comic. Users who were a part of the event will also be drawn.]

There was no reward apart from being immortalized in the game as one of the people who participated.

Bob read the prompt but couldn't rejoice at that fact. He lost his teammates, after all, turning into blue dust and dying.

He just sat in a corner just like Annera who was still contemplating her life. Bob looked at her and sympathized with her, he too, has been violated.

[Corrupted Gourmet's Knight]

He found something he can turn his attention to.

Sorry guys, just got busy with exams and freelancing jobs, will return to regularly updating and my goal for a week or two is 2 chapters per day.

(1/2)

SquareGoatcreators' thoughts