Make Me Forget About It

WARNING: Mentions of rape and there's a tad bit of smut

<<<

I almost shrieked at the sound of the calling bell ringing. It felt like four walls around me burst in sirens of apprehension. It took more than just courage, even strength, to give a push to that door. I was holding my breath like something really malevolent, really giant was waiting for me outside that threshold. One peek, and I would be gone. For something to be that didn't absolutely have to be big, you just needed to be aware of its actual color and intention. Once you get to know it, like a cockroach a monster, a spider a jester, would be wearing you down even by doing nothing while you stand at the uttermost corner of the room, screaming, trapped in cobwebs of reality where no one cared for you enough to come set you free.

And I did. I took a sudden leap outside to catch the sight of someone even if they were running away. There was nobody.

Anna's call came right on time to put me in that wanted situation of intermission.

"Anna!"

"What took you so long?" She sounded as antsy as ever.

"I was right! I-" My voice stuck like a lump in my vocal cords, being a restraint to itself, "You know that time I sent a reply to that email that I will report it to the police?"

"Yes, did something happen?"

"It was him all along."

"What? You mean -"

I nodded, "I just got another anonymous email."

Anna went silent.

"He wrote he has more copies of these and will allocate them around in school." I was in a state about to explode into shards, my brain couldn't think straight, "What am I supposed to do, Anna?"

"I think he's just playing with you at this point."

"I got him rusticated, Anna. Before he left, he was pointing daggers at me saying how he would see me later and - " I couldn't finish the sentence. I didn't need to.

"Stop. He's nothing but a coward, I mean who could do such outrageous and heinous thing unless they're a coward and a money-greedy asshole?"

"A psychopath would. He is a psychopath."

"You got a point there."

"See?" I closed the door behind me, retreating to the house.

"That doesn't mean you will stay back at your home fearing the outside world for that one man."

"He has a whole group of slaves consorting him."

"Those are nitwits as he is, can't do anything but show off the tone of their voice."

"That only means he is enough strong to overcome the weak points."

"No. it doesn't."

"It does."

She let out a sigh, "Fine. I know you're staying back home, so I'm gonna drop by your place this evening, and then we can discuss together to find a solution for this."

"No, actually-"

"Actually what?"

"Actually...I won't be home. I-I will have to go somewhere."

"Wait, really, Y/N? You, going outside? Finally!" Anna smiled happily, "I can't believe it! Even yesterday it was hard to have you stop curling up and come outside even your bedroom!"

"Well, there's no food left at home at this point. I have to go shopping."

"Good! I will let you be then. And don't mull over this too much. We can handle this, okay?"

I cut the call and avert my eyes to the dining table. Wads of pictures took over a quarter of its space, another carton sitting forth the leg like a tiger for prey. He sent me those last week. Copies of his misdeeds in one carton and another was filled to the brim of my photos - outside home, inside home, some so close and so explicit that even I shivered at the bare skin of mine in those photos. I knew where the half of the quantity came from and had kept on wondering how he clicked the rest. It had taken me a while to find out the cameras. The time came when I couldn't leave the house, and nor could I live inside. There would be men following me around, or so I thought. He was cornering me like a guinea pig to the farthest space and was waiting for me to scream the way he wanted. He wanted all of this. From that day when he trapped himself with me in that locker room, I knew what his true intention was. What he had in his mind when all the girls he asked out. And most parts of my conjecture were true. It took me too long to realize what he was, then a moment to get him caught for he was going overconfident with his work. He thought no one would stand up ever against the most mortifying blackmail he got on them, but some standards were meant to be broken. From then, he hated me. And maybe...

My mind rested in stagnant motion, turmoiling in its small space. I was staring at the phone as the four walls buzzed around me in a unison. I didn't tell her most, I didn't tell her what else was written in that email. I didn't tell her that it said-

Do you want it to be one of your friends next? If not, meet me at 11 tonight, outside Green Park.

I couldn't. My body was already in judder, trembling like it was a minus thousand degrees outside, in fear. As I imagined Anna's face forth my eyes, I could see a hundred and one reasons to not tell her. I needed to handle this on my own.

I had to meet him.

>>>

I walked down the streets bustled with city lamps to the dark corner where the park was situated. As though it anticipated my arrival, it loomed itself into a deeper shade of darkness, seemingly to be waiting to engulf itself and me. My hand clutched onto the letter inside my pocket, crumpling it to the brink of tearing the page apart.

"I can do this."

"What if he's there again with all of his friends? Who knows what he wants this time?"

​​​​​"If I don't go, he might hurt Anna next."

I flinched.

"It's only a matter of time. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can-"

"You should've informed Anna at least."

"She doesn't need to know. I can handle this on my own. I am the reason all of this has started, and I have to be the one to-"

I started at the blinding yellow light searing through nowhere. As its pervasion became wider and wider, a little faster than a usual car would, I assumed he was in a rush this time. Perhaps I had got the tension inside him as he always induced into me all the time. I waited on my feet going through all the scenarios I imagined I would have in the conversation with him.

But the thing never stopped.

In a trice, the micro had only slowed down enough, the door slid open, two pairs of hands emerged, one grasping me by my cloth, another by my hair, and I was pulled into the gulf of pitch black inside. For a moment, I couldn't see anything. All I heard were a few noises and hisses, one voice snorting "Get me the drug. You, get the ropes.", another gritting "It's more fun when they are in their senses, though", then one voice became alive, "He's right. Let's go one round while she's in it. She needs to realize who she tried to stand against." Of all, I knew to whom that voice belonged.

I was hoisted from behind as a burly hand captured me and another pulled down my pants and tore apart the buttons of my jacket. My vision came to a hindrance as a bigger dark shadow took over, leaning me behind with a strong force I was unable to fight back. All I could see in the dark was how his teeth shone, and a corner of his eyes, monotone but knowingly red. His whispering voice stated, "It will take a while, darling. Scream and you're dead."

I knew better than that when the micro took off and skittered past the main road to the underdeveloped urban side, where only two of three lights came into view.

>>>

"You think she's awake? Why is she acting like that? How much ketamine did you put?"

"I don't know...*hiccups* I don't think it would wear off this fast." There was a titter, "J went last time. I only got one round man. Can I go first next time?"

"I don't think we should keep her here any longer. It's been three days, long enough for the report to be null. This might be getting risky."

"What's gonna get risky? She's an orphan, dude. Like in two hells there's one man that yet is aware of her missing."

"Nah man, remember that tiny white-skin girl? I can't recall that name, boss told us about her. Anna, maybe. She's been lurking around this bitch's house for the past few days. Maybe she's suspecting something."

"So what? Like she can find out about us in here?"

"Boss said he'll take care of her. Called her to come at night to the school or so-wait, I've got a call. It's boss - yes, boss - yeah - yeah - okay - we got it. Consider it done. Okay - about the payment, boss - no, no it's good, sure - okay. Thank you, boss - okay. Yah! Told ya so. Tonight at dawn. At the park. We need to leave her there."

"Stock's been all out. We need to get more ketamine. Lemme come with you."

I squinted my eyes open at the sound of the fading footsteps. My hands were already bleeding from the amount of scrapping I had to go through to set them free. My stomach lurched doing two somersaults, willing to retch out the intestines at one go. My body shook at the slightest effort of getting it up by itself, my mind obsolete. I had no power to think, but I heard the last conversation they had. Anna was in danger. I needed to go. I gagged a piece of dirty cloth at the spilling blood from my hands and staggered forward. I needed to save her.

>>>

The gate creaked with my motion. At this point, it required more than my legs to keep myself moving forward. As I stepped in, the light beside it illuminated the pathway better for me, inviting me in. Then I saw him.

My heart started beating faster.

"You can do this."

I clutched the broken shard of glass in my grip, not caring how much my hand bled, and walked forward. Sooner his stature began to clear out and I found the silhouette standing, hunching, doing the opposite of his usual proud posture. This wasn't him.

"Wang Ka Yee?" I mumbled to myself. The boy stood rather awkwardly, staring down at the laces of his shoes. His hair was disheveled, even within what I could see from this dimmed light and the distance, there were red dapples over his shirt. And his face...

I was too much in a state of my own to spare a time to take a stock of what he was doing here at this hour. I needed help, at this instant. I pushed myself to go stand before him, my voice rather came out weak and tripping from all the effort, "Wang."

He started at my call and curled himself into a smaller form, almost screaming, "I-I'm sorry, I won't do that again! Please, I said I promised! Let me go this time, I promise I will abide by all of your words, I will-"

"Wang!"

He peeked his head up to take a look, "Y-Y/N...what are you d-doing here?"

"I need help." I looked at his shirt. I wasn't wrong. This looked like blood indeed. Other times I would have felt sorry realizing that he was being a victim of vicious bullying, but my situation was no less bad than his. He took a look at my state too.

"What happened to you? You look-"

"Did you happen to see Anna?"

"But-"

"Did you see her or not?" My tone amplified itself.

"I-" He stumbled, "I don't think...I am not sure but why-"

"Stop wasting time questioning. Since when have you been here? If not Anna, did you happen to see-"

Just then, an ear-piercing scream traveled from somewhere inside the main building.

Both I and Wang halted at our position momentarily. A small flame came into view from the window of the third floor and the scream intensified. It sounded so familiar...It sounded so...

Anna!

Before I even knew it, I was running like a madman at light's speed. A gush of wind passed by me when I reached the first floor. I saw a shadow, rather blurry. A strong menthol scent caught up my nose. I crept into fear, not trying the obtain the worst assumption. I knew to whom the scent belonged. More like I didn't want to.

I looked up the flight of staircase and immediately understood the better urgency of the incident. Anna might be in worse trouble than I assumed there would ever be.

When I reached the chemistry lab, I found how it felt when worse dreams become reality.

And I saw the most horrific vision that I already knew I would never forget.

Anna's face was caught onto some horrible misshaping happening. It turned all red and was swelling to a big lump, even a short glimpse at her right now was able to drain the blood off of someone's body.

"Y/N!...h-he," She was shaking horribly, even her voice cracked so bad, so weak that she was barely audible, "He threw that...on me and-" She was pointing at a bottle rolling on the floor, the label on it said "conc. HCl".

"Hold on." I aggressively looked around to get any aid. The colorless liquid from the bottle was slithering over the floor towards the side of the door, casting hazy volatile smoke with its journey. I traced the other faint smell of smoke, discovering the rising fire that started on the right side of the door as the acid burned through the wooden chairs. Electric wires sparked in blues. I held my breath, staggering behind only to trip over Anna.

"I-" I stared with horror around. What should I do? Should I help Anna, or do something about the fire? Which one will cause the loss first?

"I will be back." I rushed towards the door. The washroom was at the end of the corridor. Maybe if I got some water to run the chemical off Anna's face and then abate the fire...

Water. I needed water. I picked up the wastebin, poured everything inside out, then held it under the sink. Taking the much I could in a minute, I rushed back to Anna and poured it down. Anna shrieked at the impact.

"It hurts...Y/N! It's burning worse!" She flailed in pain, rolling over the ground in agony. I stood aghast, trying to find a better solution, "B-but..." The water must have aggravated the exothermic reaction. I needed colder water. But where would I find some?

I ran back to the washroom. It was me fighting against my soul to turn the tap, which didn't seem to comply with the urgency. It wouldn't move. I heaved over the other. There was no water coming from any of it.

I clutched my head, still hearing Anna's cry for help, not knowing what to do. I heard some cracks and heavy things falling over. As I came out, the corridor was now half-blocked. The door to where Anna was had cracked apart, and the fire started to catch over the entrance in the meantime. I sped back there, only to be blocked by a blazing fume that mocked my late appearance.

"Anna! There's no water in the washroom! I will get some from downstairs. Please hold on for me, please-"

"Y/N! Get help! The pain's..." Anna said, "I can't see..."

"Wait, wait for me. I-I will be back. Please don't give up!"

I didn't care how many times I tripped and fell over, with bruised knees I loped down the flights of stairs and aggressively looked around. The distance till the gate seemed a mile. Wang Ka Yee was nowhere to be seen around. I probed to get my phone to call emergency.

"Anna!" I cried at the top of my lungs, "You shouldn't have come over! Why does it always have to go wrong with me? WHY!"

I tried to keep my fingers stable as I dialed the emergency number.

"Y/N?" Wang's voice took over my shoulder. He looked at me afraid.

"Wang! Anna's there, the fire -"

"I have called the emergency. They'll be here soon. What did really happen?" He said, "I saw someone running out of the building just as you entered. It was-"

"There's no time for all these now. Come with me. We need to get Anna out!" I pulled his hand and ran back the stairs. We had to stop in the mid-path. The whole corridor was now caught up in fire. Doors to the classrooms had fallen over, fueling the fire to flame up and obliterate everything it found around.

"Anna...come with me- we need to help her-"

"Y/N! Stop. You can't go in there." He tugged my hand back hard.

"What do you mean? She is in there, we need to get her out!"

"You won't come back alive if you go in there now. Wait till help reaches us!"

"It'll get too late. If you don't wanna go, leave me. I need to save her!-"

"Y/N! Listen to me." No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't release myself from his strong grasp, he continued to say, "We need to get out. Fast. Now."

"No. I won't- lemme go. Please. Please!" I broke down in tears. Wang dragged me down the stairs as I stared at the red whirl slowly crawling downstairs, picking up our steps.

Anna.

Sorry.

I couldn't help...

I'm sorry.

I'm so...

>>>

"The burns are not looking quite good. Yet, we are trying our best to save her. But one thing...even if we succeed to save her...maybe...she won't ever be able to see again."

"It's all your fault!" Fiona was pointing daggers through her eyes at me, bursting into shouts of anger, "You could've saved Anna! You were there! You cunning, selfish, ruthless-"

"Calm down, Fiona." Renee held her back, "It's not her fault. Let's keep our hopes up that Anna will get better."

I didn't know if I should defend myself. A part of me knew I could've saved her, maybe if I had given even a little more effort. If...

"I-I tried to- the washroom was not working. I tried to bring water from downstairs - the fire extinguisher was jammed so hard too-"

"Liar! You freaking pathetic liar!" She screamed, "Maybe you are the one who started the fire too."

The police had come over to investigate the fire in the meanwhile. One officer looked at us, trailing the conversation.

"No, l-listen to me. Wang saw-" I turned around at Wang, "Wang, tell them who you saw running out of the building. You saw him, right?"

Wang stammered, not yielding anything out of his mouth. I jerked him hard, "Why won't you say anything? Tell them!"

"Excuse me, miss." The officer came toward us, "I would like the two of you to come over with us. Tell us what you had seen. Don't leave out any detail."

The nags from the officers did only so much to tame my turmoiling brain. I couldn't muster the strength to tell them about the blackmail, who had called me over. Wang was no help. For some reason, he was scared to reveal the name of the real culprit. The whole time, he kept his mouth shut.

Only a ringing voice in my head repeated the incident over and over.

"He had confessed to me before. With all those lovey-dovey eyes, acting awkward, gosh I had really fallen for all of that. I thought maybe he really had feelings for me. I thought, maybe, maybe, I can, I should give it a chance." I paused, trembling to my knees, "He was caught for taking obscene pictures of girls and making snuff films. After I revealed all of it to the school and had him rusticated...I remember it clearly, that day, how he looked at me and said with that menacing voice. I should've been careful...I started to receive anonymous emails containing pictures he had stalked and taken of me. I felt unease that something was wrong but never felt the need to be more careful. And then one day- these all happened."

Jimin was staring delicately. He talked in a low voice, "If you're not comfortable, then it's-"

I tried to control the scoff, "When I tried to report, no one would believe me. Everyone thought my story was too farfetched. After all, it was almost midnight. There was no one around the park, so no witnesses, and no CCTV footage either. And I was held captivated in one of their warehouses for 3 days..." I said, "They all came from rich families too. There was only so much that I could do. To this date, he and his crew are all missing. Like they've vanished into thin air.

Only Anna knew all about it. She was always there for me, the only trusting friend I had. And then, of course, I had to kill her. Maybe he was scared that Anna knew it beside me and that she could report him to the police, so he went to take care of it his way. Anna had to get caught up in this, all because of me. I killed her." I stretched my lips into a mocking smile staring through the pearls of tears capturing my eyes.

"This is what happens when I trust people too much. Either they betray me, or get tied up in the ill game of fate and even die in my replacement. There's never any other option. And yeah, now that I have told you all of it now, go on. Betray me. I really have nothing else left of me. They still now hate me for the incident. I am as pathetic as I used to be, and this will never change. I can't change, I can just- end this now, and then all of this will be over. I will be free, maybe, and-"

I was hastily pushed to the side by arms. Jimin looked strongly into my eyes. I counted onto the intensity of his gaze before his swollen lips encompassed mine. It was an alloy of warmth and cold at the same time. I shivered but didn't intend to pry out of his hold.

He pulled out for a second, to ask me, "Is this okay?"

I nodded. And it stayed for moments. I wanted to forget it all with his touch lingering over me, his lips moving in rhythm, fingers going through my hair. It wasn't working enough. I needed something more, more of it.

He spoke, "It wasn't your fault that your friend is gone. You can't blame yourself that-"

"Stop. Don't. Just, stop." I scoffed through the kiss, "You think you are different than anyone else and will be able to make me exonerated from the case? Do you think you are different? No, you are a human, Jimin. And you will fail at this."

"I am here, Y/N. And I am here for you, only you. I can wipe away your tears, but I can't fix your scar. And I don't even dare to make a false pretense of a therapist. All I can do is give myself to you. Use me all the way you want."

"Then," I said, "Make me forget about it."

He stared at me.

"Make me forget about it all. Even if for one night. Make me forget who I am, what I left behind, what I took with me. You can do it, right?" I stared back at him. My brain felt drunk and hazy. My cognitive ability seemed to have been failing, I wasn't able to think much. It had started to become painful. I wanted to forget this pain.

"Y/N."

"What? Are you scared? What are you scared of?"

"You need some rest. You are not thinking through right now-"

"I am thinking, Jimin. And I'm thinking so much that my brain is about to explode. And I want it to stop. Make it stop."

"Y/N..." Jimin looked down, not trying to meet my eyes as he spoke, "I love you."

"Then do it. Let me see how strong your freaking love is." I laughed as though a jester dawned on me, "I want to feel what love feels like. Like he had said. I wanna know what he really meant by that."

He spoke this time. I didn't know what the tone of his voice determined, "You never told me his name."

"What's the point of telling you? Like you will be able to erase it from my mind?"

"I still wanna know."

"Alfred. And be surprised, he was actually a Korean-Danish breed of a dog. He had a Korean name. Kwang-seon."

"Will you make me a promise?"

"What promise?"

"Next time you close your eyes and start to think about the incidents over and over again, you will never recall that name. You will only think of me."

I was staring at the ceiling, counting the stars in my head and the ones in my vision. Jimin had taken out his lenses. He didn't seem to like the way I was acting, maybe he was thinking I had gone maniac. Maybe I had. His current deep brown eyes took over the view as well as his lavish locks of hair, dancing like curtains in front of me with his motions, thrusting in slow and fast, fast and slow, all falling in rhythm if you counted the beats. His naked toned body had droplets of sweat, mingling with mine. I circled my hips, drowning in the maze in a will to tear my thoughts apart. It wasn't working enough.

"Harder...maybe?" I scorned with peeking teeth, "Park Jimin? You want me to keep your promise, right?"

He heard my words. And it worked. Throwing my head back, I closed my eyes panting hard. His hushed breaths ran over me as he pulled the comforter closer to my body, stopping the cold wind seeping in to give me quivers. I muttered something, not knowing myself, slowly drifting off to sleep.

His phone beeped. I realized it was on my side of the pillow. I picked it up. There was an app notification. A red blinking light emerged on a map, proclaiming the location was the hotel we were staying at.

"Jimin..." I spoke, and my voice came out musky, being all sleepy.

"Hmm?"

I wondered if it all was a dream. I wanted it to pass by, slowly, but gradually.

"Nothing."

<<<<

You tried hard enough. Didn't know you could escape. LOL. Haven't tried to hand me out to the police? How's the progress? I still have got your pictures tho. Don't wanna settle this case once and for all? Then follow as I say.

I still had the glass shard stacked in my pocket. With one grip, I knew what I really wanted to do.