Chapter 103: Birthmark
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Lelouch sighed, allowing the healing magic to wash over him before he replied. "I remembered something." Technically it was true, he did recall a little bit when Ophis showed him her memory.
"You once asked why I chose to claim the Sin of Wrath?" Lelouch eyed her for a moment before she signaled for him to continue with a nod.
He closed his eyes. "I hate the world." He admitted with a whisper. "The world will always reject monsters like me, and so better I reject the world first.
" He spoke, remembering Suzaku's words on Kamine Island as his identity was revealed to his best friend and worst enemy. "My very existence is a mistake.
I don't deserve to have friends, I don't deserve kindness or compassion." Staring up at Rias seriously, an empty grin came across his face.
"I'm not kidding when I call myself a monster."
Rias stared down at the Knight who had been acting so recklessly all week. "You are such an idiot." She cupped his cheek to forestall any retort. "You are my precious Black Knight." Rias spoke fondly.
"I don't care about what your life was before you became part of my Peerage, my family, but I do think you have been acting very stupid these past few days." Returning to her healing spells, she continued.
"You are amazing, your intelligence is greater than almost anyone I know, your learning curve as a Devil is ridiculous, and, despite your best efforts, I can tell you have a heart buried deep inside of you just yearning to breathe again.
" She paused for a moment to allow her words to sink in before she continued. "I don't know why you sealed away your heart or why you seem so intent on causing pain to yourself and others, but all of us, Issei, Kiba, Asia, Akeno, Koneko, and myself, we all care about you. Not because we have to, but because we want to."
"I killed my little sister." Lelouch admitted, Rias' teeth clicked shut at that statement. He would regret Euphie's death every day of his life. He spoke, tears dripped out of his eyes as he remembered the look of pure confusion on her face as she collapsed after he shot her.
He would never be able to forget that look. "I betrayed the only family I ever loved, my closest friends, and everyone I ever cared about. And I've done so much worse, what else can I be but a monster?" He asked, expecting Rias to attempt to kill him or disown him or some such thing.
What he didn't expect was for Rias to lift him up from his prone position after she finished healing him and hold him close with her chin resting on his shoulder.
"I still care about you, Lelouch." Rias said honestly. "I don't care about your past, I trust you. I have faith in you." She held him close, her arms squeezing the unresponsive Lelouch tighter.
"When Kiba begged for me to save your life, I didn't know what I was getting into, I only had a Rook and a Knight Piece remaining, but because he was so adamant that you deserved to live I chose to bring you back as my Knight." She leaned back, holding onto Lelouch's shoulders as she tried to look him in the eye.
He was looking to the side, avoiding her eyes. She cupped his cheek tenderly. "You're hurt, and you've been hurt for a long time, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to live in happiness." She kissed him on the forehead in a motherly way, intending to try and give him some comfort.
Lelouch smiled blankly, feeling hollow at Rias' words and her sign of affection. "You should have just let me die, I deserve nothing less." And now that was forever beyond him.
Rias looked at him with a sad smile. "I don't know, members of the Gremory Family are notorious for being rather greedy." She said with amusement in her eye. "I may not have known what I was getting into, but now that you're my Black Knight I don't plan on letting you go without a fight."
A hollow chuckle escaped Lelouch's lips. Agree to disagree, he figured. "Fine." He conceded, feeling tired. "You win, I'll try to loosen up." He lied. Lelouch didn't plan to stop trying to atone for what he did, but he would stop trying to drag Rias and her Peerage down with him.
"That's the Lelouch I know." Rias said with a grin. When Lelouch turned and stood to retrieve his jacket, a breeze blew some of his hair away from the back of his neck.
Her grin shrunk as she caught sight of an odd symbol. "Huh, where did you get that tattoo?" She asked, drawing a reaction from Lelouch.
"What tattoo?" Lelouch asked as he applied the clothing repair spell Rias had developed and taught every member of her Peerage a day or two ago. His shoes and pants were repaired before he directed his attention to his dark tank top. Lelouch had never gotten a tattoo in his life.
"It's on the back of your neck." Rias explained as Lelouch picked up his coat and swung it over his shoulders. "It kind of reminded me of a bird."
Lelouch paused as he stood in the shade as he slipped his arms into his sleeves, his eyes widening unbeknownst to Rias. 'So, that's where the mark was.' He thought to himself, resisting the urge to chuckle.
The mark of the Code was on the back of his neck while the scar from the wound that he had received upon his first death was on his chest. He would literally be bearing the curse of immortality on his back and heart. "Bird huh, probably just a birthmark.
I can't exactly see back there after all." Lelouch walked into the forest as the sun finally finished setting, deciding to take a walk rather than teleport back to the villa. "I'll meet you all back at the villa, I would like a little fresh air so I'll take the long way."
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