CHAPTER 32

"Let's just pray, it's the best thing for us to do." My eyes are closed but I am listening. I tried to move my legs but they're numb. I really have to accept the fact that I can't walk anymore.

"I did. God knows how much I prayed. But why her? She deserves the universe, she deserves the happiness. She deserves everything." It was Barry's voice.

"God has better plan for her Barry, this child? It hurts a lot seeing her like this. I don't know how to handle this pain, I can't afford to lose her too." Mom's voice cracked.

"I don't know if God heard my prayers. I don't know anymore."

"He heard your prayers, I'll just go visit my husband."

When mom left us, I opened my eyes and his tired face showed up. His hair was messy but he's still the most handsome. Two weeks has passed and I've changed a lot. I lose weight. What would I expect? I am really sick. He darted his eyes on me and he's already smiling while caressing my face.

"S---sorry, I slept all day."

"No, it's fine. Are you still sleepy? Are you hungry? Do you want me to take you to the garden or to the rooftop?" He's asking questions after questions. I just rolled my eyes to make him feel better.

"Give me a kiss, please?" He rolled his eyes too like he's also trying to make me feel better. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Barry?" I was already heaving a sigh.

"Yes, love?"

"Can you do me a favor?" He nodded while he's playing with my fingers.

"Promise me, just promise me, okay?"

"For you, I'll promise."

"Promise?" He nodded again, I miss him so much. I want to be in his arms every seconds. I want to feel his warmth. I don't want to see him in pain because of me. I don't want to see his tears. I don't want to see him suffer. I just want to see his annoyed face, I want to see him roll his eyes, I want to see him smile, I want to hear him laugh, I want to seem in euphoria.

"Let's forget that I am sick. Let's forget about the resentment and betrayal, let's just live in euphoria." I said, suppressing my tears. He gave me a tight hug and I swear that this moment is perfectly carved in my soul.

"That's, th---"

"You promised! No nos, okay?" He was caressing my face already and his eyes are telling me to hold on. His eyes are telling me that I deserve the whole universe, I deserve to be loved. His eyes are telling me that he loves me so much, that he don't want me leave.

"P--promise, for you,"

We shared jokes, laughs and hugs inside the room. While he was combing my hair, an idea flashed in my head.

"Barry, love, I'd like you to cut my hair. Shoulder-length layered hair." Some strands of my hair were falling, fuck my leukemia HAHAHA. He agreed and he was really laughing while he's cutting my hair, we're reminiscing the memories we had in his house before.

"I wanna spend my remaining nights with you." Those words were really painful to say.

"Tell me if you're tired, just tell me if you wa---nt to rest. I will let you rest because I love you. J---ust tell me if you're tired..." I felt his tears on my neck and I really hate it. I really don't want to see him fucking cry because of me.

"I'll hold on. Just don't leave my side, okay?"

"Seeing you suffer is my death, if you're trying to hold on because of me, please, don't because I don't want to see you suffer, It hurts. I'll let you r---rest, it's not easy, it's painful but I'll let you rest, love."

"I love you, Barry Dale Casas. You're my serotonin and my solace."

......

The next day, I decided to go home, I don't want to spend the remaining days of my life in the hospital, I want to spend it with the people I love. I want to treasure each seconds with them and not with the IV drips.

I heard Dashein lost her sight, she's visually impaired now. She hung herself with the blanket, the cops saved her and brought her in the nearby hospital but she tried to escape and while the cops were running after her, she met an accident. I don't care about her anymore, she's responsible for her actions and it's her fault. Eloise and Joseph moved somewhere far, Joseph has hearing problems. They're suffering from extreme poverty and I don't really care about them anymore.

"You ready, baby? Jared will drive us home." He planted a kiss on my forehead as he was trying to put a red lipstick on my lips.

"Yes and wait... Charmalagne and Steven are coming, right?" He nodded.

"Yes master, they're coming here." I smiled, we're all settled and all of my things are ready.

"Piggyback? I'll be your wheelchair now." He said and I smiled, this is my favorite, I can't walk anymore. I can't run with him anymore, I can't kick him anymore.

"Am I heavy?" He shook his head and the scent of his hair lingered even more.

"No, you're beautiful." And because of his answer, I playfully pulled his hair.

"Duh, I know right. You don't know how to answer easy questions HAHAHA, pity of you." I was laughing until we reached the parking , Jared readied the car, he's our driver now. He's just smiling,he's happy to see me happy.

"Hi Savi, you excited? They're all waiting for you there." Jared greeted me so I nodded.

"Phoebe asked me to give this handkerchief to you, yay you're not single anymore! Man, you're inlove again, congrats HAHAHA." Barry and I are teasing him, his cheeks were turning red like he's a high school student noticed by his crush.

"Stop it," Jared answered so I was just laughing at his reaction, he's inlove with that bitch GS, she were a bitch when we bumped into each other inside that café.

...

The moon has began to offer tranquility, the moon has began telling people that in the midst of their chaos, there's still peace. Luna's telling people that in the midst of their agony, there's still hope. Tomorrow, there's a small party. I asked for it, I want to be with Barry, with mom and with my friends before I leave.

"You're very pale, you're sweating again." He heaved a sigh as he plopped down beside me. His despairing eyes were telling me that he's really in the crashing waves of agony and he's darn drowning.

"Barry, thank you for everything. But no matter what happen, please do not blame the heavens, God heard your prayers, he has his own plan for us."

I used to hate God, I used to blame Him and ask Him why me? Of all people, why me? But He's the most kind, He saved my life but I was just wrathful to even realize that.

I was stunned for minutes when Barry stooped down his head, he's already fucking wailing in front of me. I couldn't stop my tears, I was crying in front of him too. I do not want to leave him, I do not want to hurt him, I want to bear his child, I want to raise our kids, I want a happy family for us, I want a peaceful home for us, I still want to make a happy family.

"Why? I love you. . . But why? I do not want you to leave, honestly. I love you so much, my Sav." He was kneeling on the floor as he was squeezing my hands.