Chapter 6: Night One

The first ball: night one

The roaring parties and the clinking glasses, all make-believe, but not be, or so I thought. When I saw the first sketches of the ballroom in the morning, I almost jumped up and hugged the decorator, but first of all, I was a princess and secondly, I couldn't forget that my father only invests so much so that I can find a husband. Last night's encounter just won't leave my mind, it wasn't magical, it was more...dark and..., I couldn't think of a suitable term. It was like a fairy tale," Nyla breathed next to me. Oh, yes... I'd forgotten all about her. She really wanted to be there, I don't know how old she is, but she is younger than me, I know that. My mother laughed, she had come too, in fact pretty much everyone who pretended to be interested had come. Nyla, when you're 16, I promise you'll get a ball too, as well as Dinora," Amazonita promised her, expertly grabbing a chocolate from the box. I had generally always seen her eat more than my mother, and she wasn't as slim either, so I meant she was just as petite and thin, but just not like my mother. I was almost like her, except that unlike Queen Layna, I ate more and didn't try any abstruse diets. Something tugged at my sleeve, I came back from my thoughts, lately it had become more noticeable that I was drifting off, but even though things were tormenting me. Nyla, leave her alone, she has so much to do," she gently admonished her mother. But I just wanted to ask if I could stand next to her at the ball, I want to look at the men, I'm 15 and a half now, I'm almost the right age," she protested. It won't be the typical ball, the men, or rather the gentlemen, don't know who the princess is, I'm hidden under a mask like everyone else," I explained, hoping please that she would understand. She was pouting now: "May I spend my time with you...please Di, I won't be a pain either." That was the first time she had called me Di, she was apparently trying to establish a familiarity and closeness. I pursed my lips, I didn't want her to be there, I wanted to disappear after five minutes, crawl into my room and read, maybe the creature would reappear. I had already asked a friend of mine if she could pretend to be me, we looked alike, but only with the hair. Now my mother intervened: "Child, don't be like that, at her age you also watched your sister do it, just say yes." It wasn't advice but a plea to keep the alliance going. I sighed deeply and nodded: "If you really want it, it's fine with me." I only heard a squeak then a piled hug that was more of a cling. I had watched my sister at the time, but only for five minutes, then I turned to my books, I hid under the table and whenever someone came up to me and wanted to talk to me, I pretended to listen to them too, but in reality I was reading my book. That was in the time after Livius had left me, I needed distance from humanity and from my life in the limelight. Now, thanks to Livius, everything started to thaw again and I couldn't stop it.

When my mother and I were alone, Amazonita and Nyla going downtown to try on their ball gowns, there was an awkward silence between us. The baroque grandfather clock struck exactly noon, it was an heirloom from my father's maternal grandmother, I loved it. "I have a little something for you," Mother began to break our silence, "It's an heirloom, I want you to wear it to the balls." She took off her necklace and handed it to me, it was a white sandstone with diamond particles in it. But... this is your necklace, I... can't take it, mother", it was far too valuable, this was not possible. Nonsense, I want you to have it, now take it," she became stern. I could not contradict her and took it.