Why do you still love me?

"Since you've been counting every time we have made love, I'm sure you have kept a count of it with your ex-boyfriends too?"

I asked her without much of a thought.

She was silent and I'm sure her heart rate is going high by now.

"Tell me...", I insisted.

No words from her yet. Just a minute ago, we were having a good time talking about our future but the moment we get into the past, it's an uneasy subject.

"Why are you asking me this now? I'm not comfortable with this conversation?", She said in an upset tone.

"I don't go asking such questions and I'm sure it's awkward to ask but it's time that I should know", I said.

Jenni's face dropped down. She knew that I can easily find out if she lied to me. And I don't stop until I get answers even if she is not going to say.

"Jenni, look at me!"

She lifted her tight face and looked into my eyes. And took a deep breath and asked, "What do you want to know, Arun?"

I smiled and restated the question, "How many times have you had sex in the past before our relationship?"

She is definitely angry inside but spoke in a soft tone thinking slowly, "10 - 12 times I think but definitely not more than that."

I'm definitely shattered on the inside but not stopping my questions. Three boyfriends in the past and countless guys behind her all the time. I'm frustrated to hear the answer but I asked, "How many times with No. 1, 2 and 3?"

It's not easy for her to chose me after all that past. I found her when she lost her hope about love or life. She chose me in a much worse time. And now when she feels I'm her everything, I ask her such questions. Who am I?