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Dimensional warper

Author: Malphathus
Urban
Ongoing · 42.1K Views
  • 111 Chs
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Synopsis

The strive for power,the need to stand to stand on top of the world. There wasn't something new for Andrew to which he didn't care that much about. He laid back as he saw Gods, protagonists and villains to fall on this trope. Why wasn't it important to him, because it all classified as Hedonism and Fear to him. The need to strive for power for benefits."Hedonism." and the strive to abstain from death or servitude."Fear." How was any of this important to him now, because that was one of his exploits. It also didn't help that he had unrealistically overpowered "skills" against his opponents. "Every being that has the displeasure of existing falls under the principle of hedonism and fear. Once experiencing it,there is no stopping so regardless of what they do,only one fate awaits them." He mused in his void. "Andrew,come give me a hand." A voice rang making him emerge from his palace and Infront of him was a lady with blood covered all over her along with a dying body next to her feet. The lady gave him a gun to which he coldly looked at the person crawling on the ground. "Shoot him,my doll." *Bang* "Things never change." Andrew muttered beneath his breathe. Also if you aren't a fan of op mc. Do not touch thank you!!!

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Chapter 1CHAPTER 1

It was a cold and snowy Sunday as Andrew was trying to get warm in his house living with his mother. He was lazily looking down at the street with a bored expression in his bedroom when his mother mother knocked on his door.

She then said,"Andrew can I come in ?" And Andrew replied with a nonchalant expression,"Sure thing, mom."

She then proceeded to go in and looked around the room to see his stuff lying all over the place,"Andrew,how many times do I have to tell you to clean after yourself. This is how you keep losing your socks for God's sake?"

Andrew simply didn't reply and continued to gaze outside with a passive look on his face.

His mother got closer and gave out a small sigh asking Andrew,"What are you thinking about ?" Andrew simply gave her a short glance and continued to look outside at the falling snow.

Andrew's mother, Lucy, then finally broke the news to him,"Andrew I know that this is the last thing you want to hear but I am going dating again."

Andrew finally broke from his trance and looked at his mother with a displeased expression,"Mom, you can't be serious right?"

And gave of a small nervous laugh but Lucy's face remained neutral with no fluctuation in sight and replied,"I am serious Andrew and I hope that you accept this decision of mine."

Andrew started to tell his mother,"Mom, it's not that I wish the worst for you but I doubt that this will work." Lucy then said,"Are you still upset with dad."

There was silence which covered the room and then Andrew resumed,"Please don't say his name mom." Lucy came in with the hug and gave a nice long hug and said,"Fine I promise I won't say his name if it makes you feel better."

"I still can't believe that he left you for his secretary the nerve of that guy." After that Lucy let go and gave Andrew a kiss on his head and said,"Well the one that I have right now sure is promising."

*cough*-*cough*Andrew let out a small cough and replied,"Well that is what you said last time with Adam,your lucky charm you said and look how that turned out. The relationship didn't last long because of some business trip ..."

Before Andrew could finish Lucy stood up and left but on her way out she said,"Well prepare yourself because Tom is coming over. Now I'm gonna prepare myself so you better wear something decent young man."

With that Lucy left the room leaving Andrew letting out a resigned sigh and laid on his bed wondering whether he should bother himself but he already knew the answer to that.

Andrew is 17 years old

Lucy is 34 years old

Ashley is 16 years old

Cassie is 17 years old

Tom is 37 years old

**Sorry the first chapter is kinda short I'll adjust it 😔**

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Dawnheart · Urban
4.7
403 Chs

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THE_ARCHITECTLv4

First of all, I’d like to acknowledge the effort you’ve put into creating this novel. Your writing skills are apparent—the grammar and overall prose are well-executed, with minimal errors. It’s clear you have a strong command of language and storytelling fundamentals. However, despite these strengths, the novel feels hindered by certain foundational issues. The primary concern lies in the structure. The narrative feels overly dense, making it difficult to read and absorb. While your ability to elaborate is clear, the pacing and organization create a sense of overload, almost as if too much information is crammed into every chapter. This density makes it challenging to progress through the story comfortably, creating a barrier to immersion. Another area for improvement is the synopsis. While it’s functional, it doesn’t fully capture the potential of the story. A strong synopsis should immediately engage readers, enticing them to dive into the world you’ve created. Reworking it with a sharper hook and clearer focus could significantly enhance its appeal. Additionally, the lack of a cover is a missed opportunity. While covers don’t determine the quality of a novel, they are crucial for drawing in readers. A compelling and visually striking cover can serve as a powerful first impression and increase your audience’s curiosity. In summary, the novel has great potential. The writing is solid, but the structural flow, synopsis, and presentation need refinement. These foundational aspects are vital for creating a more engaging and accessible reading experience. If addressed, they could elevate the story and attract a larger audience. I’d be happy to discuss these points further if the opportunity arises, as I believe there’s significant promise in your work. DO NOTE THAT I READ SIX CHAPTERS

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