Akin to a curse (Julia)

I have never had a hairdryer!

I know what it is because some of my friends had a diesel generator at home and they would turn the electricity on, on Saturdays when they used to shower.

However, I could never use one.

The one Leo bought is pink. The seller used a portable battery to show us it works, and Leo paid with a couple of banknotes. I can't imagine how much work one needs to afford high tech.

After buying the hairdryer, we visit a shop that sells soaps, shampoos and conditioners. I can scent lavender from the corner of the street, along with mint, lemon, cinnamon... Oh, chocolate? Seriously?

I would risk eating the bar of soap if it smells like cocoa.

I sniff some of the aromas for a while. Until I stop noticing any difference.

I should just pick the simplest soap. It's the right thing to do. But it reminds me of the one I used in the Order. It's not a pleasant memory.

In the end, I find one of a pretty violet colour. I near it to Leo's nose, asking if he likes it.

As a result, he moves back abruptly with a frown. He hits some bottles with his arm, making them fall on the floor.

Luckily, nothing shatters.

«My sense of smell is more sensitive,» he explains. «I'd prefer it if you didn't do something like this again.»

«I guess you don't like this one,» I sigh. «What about these?»

I offer him a couple of flowery bottles, and Leo sniffs them from some distance.

«Why are you asking me, though? You're the one that is going to use it.»

«I know. But you just said that your sense of smell is more sensitive. I don't want to annoy you with a strong scent...»

At the same time, I don't want to smell like sweat and all the other bodily odours a human has. I'd prefer not to think about it, but it must be difficult for Leo.

«As long as it's not weird, anything can do.»

«But which one do you like?» I press him.

«If you're looking for a scent I like, just continue using my shampoo,» he comments with a shrug. «It's the perfect combination.»

And it doesn't require a long process of testing.

«You're right.» I nod. My shoulders fall down, but I pretend not to be sad about the abrupt end of our game.

«Hey, don't be like this,» Leo whispers, reaching out for a lock of my hair. He plays with it while searching for the right words. «You should try a few of these fragrances. You can't know how they're going to be on you if not by using them.»

«I like your shampoo more, too,» I confess. Exploring is fun, but the reality is that anything that reminds me of him is better. If he isn't upset by letting me use his stuff, I'll continue like this.

«But you need some creams. I don't have those in my bathroom.»

I follow his gaze to a group of cosmetic products. Hand creams are on the front, reminding me of a time when I would kill for one of those. A bitter smile crosses my face, and I can't help but feel nostalgic.

«I don't need all of this,» I say. It would be a waste. «A random facial cream and maybe a body lotion will be enough. For real.»

«All right,» he snorts. «You're so difficult to take care of. What else does a woman need?»

«What about perfume? Is it allowed among vampires?»

«Yes, it is. As long as you don't overdose it. We are...»

«Sensitive,» I sigh. «But will the others be bothered by it? I don't stay too close to anyone except you, so I was wondering how acute your senses can be...»

«It will help to cover my scent,» he realises. «If I touch you by mistake, if I kiss you suddenly or hug you, it might help to cover the tracks.»

«Oh, nice.»

Before returning on the street, Leo reaches out for a few combs and makes me choose one. To that, he adds hair accessories.

Some of the hairclips he bought are pink or yellow, or some other flashy colour... Does he think I'm some toddler?

However, I don't say a thing about it. He's been so nice, I don't have the face to complain. I'm not such a witch.

«And now?»

We've bought so many things that I can help Leo carry the bags because there are too many for a single pair of hands, no matter how strong. I finally have the chance to feel less useless!

«Now, we go look at the sunrise,» he tells me.

He points in the direction with his chin, and we walk in the streets in silence for a while. Enough time to let me think and realise.

Today feels so much like a date. We've visited the city and bought things. We've eaten lunch in a cafe since we were too busy to come back to the dorm.

Now, we're going to look at the sun rising. This is somehow romantic, isn't it? It's the nightly version of a date...

I'm sure Leo didn't notice it yet. I hope he won't soon.

I like walking with him like this, naturally close. It would be a pity if he started avoiding contact all of a sudden, not to make me misunderstand his signals.

I prefer acting like an idiot without a worry. Even if I know this is all a side effect of the soulmate bond. At least, for Leo is.

As for me, though, I can't be sure.

I'm too invested for it to be just some chemistry at work.

But is it so wrong to have some expectations? It will hurt me, eventually, but I'm forced to have feelings for my destined partner. I don't have a choice: what's the point of fighting it?

I just have to remember that it's all an illusion. I can't forget that what makes Leo act this kind with me is something similar to a curse.

When the link tunes down for good, he'll return to his life. I have to be careful if I don't want my heart to break apart that day.