Chapter 12 - Do-Over

Cassie - 

"I want pups with you," I can sense him now, finally, and I am hit with the realisation of the guilt he feels because he thinks I am unhappy with the news. "I love the idea of carrying your pup," I reassure him quickly.

"But, your emotions, they disappeared and when I found you with Tara you were unresponsive, you wouldn't look at me, you wouldn't speak, it took me having Daisy come by for you to utter a word" the hurt in his words rips me in half.

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to block my emotions from you, I didn't even know that was possible until I realised I couldn't feel you anymore, I was in shock, and I will admit, a little upset, but not because I am pregnant, because of the timing, if Ace wasn't still out there, a risk to every single one of us, then this would have been the best news I could have ever heard, but he IS still out there, he is still a threat and even thinking about bringing our baby into this colossal mess made me panic, but I love this pup already, almost as much as I love you."

"I'm so happy to hear you say that, it means the world to me to know what you are thinking, please don't shut me out ever again, I don't think Duke and I could handle it. Do you want to tell me what Dr. Thorne said?"

I laugh at this, giddy with relief that he isn't upset with me or with the news. "Um… I actually don't know what he said, I didn't hear a word after he said pregnant, I guess I kinda froze up and nothing else penetrated the fog." 

Jack chuckled at that and lifted me into his arms, carrying me bridal style through our suite and out of the front door. I loop my arms about his neck and settle in to enjoy the ride as he says "Well let's go find out together shall we? We should have been together the first time around, I'm sorry I left you alone."

"I wasn't alone, not really, Tara was right outside waiting for me," I slapped my forehead, "Tara! I was going to try to get to the bottom of what is going on with her, I completely forgot!"

"That can wait my love, let's go learn more about our pup" Jack squeezes me tightly, excitement in his voice as he continues to carry me across our packlands, joy flowing through our bond from him, back to the hospital where, hopefully, Felix will have some time to tell us everything I missed the first time around.

While we walk, well while I am carried back to the hospital I allow myself to feel happiness about our pup and I force myself to think of all the questions I want and need to ask Felix while we are in there. I momentarily wished I had a notepad so I could write down the questions swirling through me.

For the time being, Ace is pushed to the back of my mind, as are all the 'visions' I have been having, though I do make a mental note to ask if that is linked to he pregnancy.

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Sitting in Felix's office again this time with Jack by my side, I vow to make the most of this visit, to make sure I learn everything I need to about what was said before and to ask questions that escaped me last time.

I am ashamed of my reaction, ashamed that I shut Jack out, I can't believe he isn't mad at me for it. I don't know how I would feel if his emotions suddenly disappeared. I mean, I know they did, but I had my own thoughts plaguing me at the time and I wasn't fully aware of it at the time. But if it happened while I was concerned for him I think i would lose it, but he didn't, he is such an amazing man, I am so very blessed. Now I need to focus on our pup and on being the mate he deserves, not the mate who loses her shit at the first bit of news that surprises me, not the mate that is selfish to the point of ignorance when it comes to the man I love and his feelings.

After waiting for a few minutes Jack pulls me into his arms and leads me to the sofa situated to one side of the spacious office. We sit close together, savouring the sparks and the comfort from the bond we share while we wait. Felix walks through the door with a purposeful stride already speaking, "I'm sorry for making you wait Alpha, Luna, I was with a patient,"

"It is no problem at all Felix, please call me Jack, you are like a father to Cassie now and as she is my mate I will not stand on ceremony with her family" Jacks says while I beam at him, truer words had never been spoken, Felix was becoming more and more like a father figure to me as I spend time with him. He eases the pain in my heart where my love for my parents burns, soothes the charred flesh of my loss.

"Thank you Alpha, I mean Jack, that means a lot to me, Cassie is like the daughter I never had. If I had found my mate I would like to think our daughter would be as strong as our Luna is," he grins, throwing a cheeky wink at me knowing how I feel about him addressing me using my title. 

"Dr. Thorne," I start, determined to use his title as he uses mine, since I know it annoys him just as much. His scowl at my addressing him this way makes me giggle before I continue, "I, um, kinda, well, last time I was here…" I stutter out, unsure how to really convey my lack of attention, "Um…."

"What I think my mate means is, due to the shock of the news you imparted last time, Cassie is not able to remember much of what you told her, we were wondering if you would be so kind as to give us a do-over." Jack speaks confidently, calm and commanding.

"Of course Alph, Jack, let's see…" Felix gets right to business pulling out a file then he sits down behind his desk and explains what needs to happen. "We won't know how far along you are until we do an ultrasound Cassie, so would you like to do that now? The machine is free if you want to see your pup?"

I agree and we move to an exam room, Felix asks me to lower my trousers a little and lift my top, which Jack isn't pleased about, but he withholds his growl knowing Felix is not interested in me in that way. Felix then proceeds to squirt the cool gel on my stomach and places the wand gently over my abdomen. After a minute of Felix gliding the wand through the gel, spreading it and pausing here and there, running the wand backwards and forwards over a couple of spots he freezes, holding the wand steady he reaches for the machine and clicks a few buttons before moving the wand again. After a couple of minutes of this, he breaks the silence, turning the machine so we can see the screen. There is a grainy image on the screen, lots of white and grey, like static from a TV screen, but there in the middle, surrounded by some computer measuring lines and numbers are two very small very solid black spots, "There are the hearts" Felix says, "based on the measurements I would say you are about 5 weeks along, give it another 2 weeks and we will be able to tell you the genders."

"Genders? As in plural?| Jack stares at me in shock, "Twins?!" I squeak, fighting the shock I can feel trying to envelope me again.

"Yep, you got two buns in that oven Cassie, you will have two beautiful bundles of joy in around 3 months."

"3 months? But pregnancies last 5 months, how will it be 3 months? You said I am 5 weeks along?" Everything I say comes out as a question.

"Twins are always born earlier, at around 4 and a half months, and you are already at least 5 weeks along, so you will be lucky if it is 3 months, could be as soon as a week earlier."

After we leave Felix's office we walk together, hand in hand to the pack house and straight up to our room without a word spoken to each other or to anyone we pass. It wasn't necessary. We knew all we needed to know, we both sensed the joy from the other. Everything was right in the world. Or it would be once Ace was apprehended. But now I had two babies to worry about while we waited, two babies to prepare for in such a short amount of time, I was over the moon, but I was terrified, and none of this explained why I was having visions of my dead loved ones….