Saw 1

I woke up at my mum's place with a splitting headache, not remembering a bloody thing. The last thing I recalled was getting the sack, and I almost wished I'd forgotten that too. But soon enough, I'd regret even thinking that.

Mum lived in the city, and I hated it—too much noise, break-ins, robberies, you name it. The only upside was it was close to where I worked, but since that was no longer the case, the city had lost its charm. The only thing keeping me there was Mum.

I threw on my slippers and headed downstairs. That's when I heard it—sounds like teeth gnashing and snarling. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a scene straight outta The Walking Dead. Couldn't even check through the peephole because some little shits had busted it playing ding-dong-ditch.

I peeked through the window and saw them—a bunch of wankers doing some sort of zombie cosplay. They must've thought I was an easy mark. Getting fired had me fuming, so I grabbed my bat, ready to take out some frustration on these idiots.

Opened the door, told 'em to bugger off. They didn't listen, just kept coming closer. "Get the fuck off my porch!" I yelled, but they acted like they couldn't hear a word. So I started swinging, but they kept coming. "Can you tards not hear me? Do I need to speak Spanish?" I shouted, "Vete a la mierda de mi porche!" But they just got closer, making more noise.

I ran back inside, slammed the door shut, thinking, what the fuck is going on?

Where the fuck's my phone? I ran back upstairs to my bedroom, grabbed it, still clueless about what the fuck was happening outside. Some people don't like the police, but not me. I bloody loved them. They were like superheroes straight out of the movies, ready to save you with one tap on your phone. That's who I was gonna call – my heroes.

I dialed 9-1-1, but the call went straight to voicemail. What the fuck? 9-1-1 going to voicemail? What the hell happened while I was asleep? I tried again. No answer. Decided to head back downstairs to check if those little shits were still making that noise. Sure enough, they were. The noise was starting to scare the crap outta me. I thought, screw it, I'll ignore them and get on with my day.

forgetting about my mum's whereabouts.

Turned on the telly aka TV, and there it was, what everyone had been seeing for hours – zombies. Bloody zombies. Things you'd only see in movies, now real as fuck. Then it hit me – where's me mum? grabbed my phone, and dialed her number. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No answer.

Then I saw it – the doctor's number on my recent calls. Had no memory of talking to him. Must've called him by accident when I was drunk. Rang him up to make sure. No answer again. Threw my phone on the bed. "Why the fuck is nobody picking up their phone? First the police, now mum, and the fucking doctor!"

Sat down on my bed, head in my hands, thinking, what the fuck is going on with my life right now? I didn't wanna believe zombies were real, but I ain't gonna be that daft wanker tryin' to prove they ain't and get myself killed. Bloody hell, what was I gonna do? Then I heard a loud bangin' noise, like someone knockin' on the back door.

Figured it was probably those bloody wankers, so I didn't bother. But then I remembered mum never locks the back door. I shot up, legged it downstairs, and what do I see? Soni, my bloody ex.

"Soni, what the fuck are you doing here? Don't tell me you missed me," I said, trying to sound funny in the middle of this bloody mess. She looked at me and smirked, "Me, miss you?" she said, laughing. It stung my pride a bit, her not missing me when I'd been thinking about her ever since she buggered off.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped, pissed off she hurt my pride. Can't deny she still looked amazing, with those hips and legs. She caught me looking and said, "What are you looking at?"

"You," I said, trying to sound cool. She started laughing again. God, I wanted to smack that smirk off her face, but I'm a gentleman, ain't I?

"Chuck, I didn't come here because of you. This was the closest place I knew, and I'd rather be here with you than out there with those things," she said. When she said that, comparing me to a bloody zombie, I almost lost it. Sure, I'm not the handsomest bloke around, but being compared to a bloody zombie? What the fuck was she thinking, barging into my house and then throwing that in my face?

I chuckled at her. "Leave," I mumbled.

She said, "What?"

"Leave. Don't tell me you don't speak English anymore," I said, wounded.

She looked confused, but I couldn't blame her. I was trying to boot her out 'cause she'd bruised my ego, and I still had a soft spot for her. Hurt me more trying to kick her out than it did her, really. She turned to me and said, "No, Chuck, I'm not leaving. Those things out there will kill me."

I let out a chuckle, "Sounds tough, but how's that me problem?"

"Chuck, don't tell me you're still mad at me," she said.

"Course I am, ya bloody left me, didn't ya?" I said.

She had the nerve to laugh. "Chuck, I caught you in bed with my twin sister, and you're mad at me?" she chuckled.

"Soni, love, I swear I thought it was you. Honest to God. You two are bloody identical—voice, looks, the whole shebang. You know you're the only one I've got eyes for, Soni," I shot back.

"Chuck, I don't want to deal with you, okay? And I'm not leaving this house. Plus, it's your mum's. She'll let me stay here," she said.

"You think me mum will choose you over her own son?" I chuckled. Truth was, I wasn't so sure. Mum loved Soni. She might actually choose her over me, her own son who never treated her right, especially in a bloody zombie apocalypse. Soni was the perfect daughter-in-law, practically like a daughter to her. And now, with mum not here, her mentioning mum got me worried. Didn't know what to do.