Aspirations

"Thank you for watching! We're here every week at the same time. Please support us!" One shouted from the stage, while the crowd cheered loudly throughout the bar.

'They're pretty good with a full team. And this place is pretty nice.' Haneul thought as he happily sipped his drink.

He came in just as light of dance started their performance, enjoying the show along with the crowd. The atmosphere was full of excitement and happy swings, whether it was from the audience watching, to those hanging around the side, following along. Their stage presence captivated him, and as he was thinking back on last night, receiving the applause of all those people around him, making him daze towards everything.

"We're pretty good right? Kim Haneul." Someone said casually next to him, lifting his drink up.

Haneul turned to see someone familiar; it was Hyunsoo from last night, as he somehow managed to slip off after the performance ended to avoid the crowd.

"Yeah. It was pretty good. I'm surprised you guys aren't famous yet." Haneul smiled back and said while clashing glasses.

"Well, it's been pretty hard up till now. I think we lost hope for a while, until last night you woke them up. I guess i still owe you our thanks for that too." He laughed and showed him the video on his phone.

"What?! it got that many views?" Haneul was shocked, since most of the videos that he'd seen going viral were either funny or scandalous.

"Haha. And it's all thanks to you, so food and drinks are on me tonight. Order whatever you want, let's get to know the rest of the guys too." Hyunsoo gestured towards the rest of after them after they were done talking to the fan's and taking pictures.

"Sure. i have nothing to do anyways." Haneul agreed, and he was also interested in the group. Hyunsoo seemed pretty friendly, and he didn't really know anyone these past two years around his age to socialize with, except for Sunhee, but that's a different matter.

***

" ... So i said to her; If you want to check my messages, then let me check yours! As a joke of course." One of the guys somehow drunkly managed to detail.

"Know what she did next? She awkwardly gave me a kiss and asked if i was hungry, and that she'll buy dinner tonight" He cried out, while the rest of the guys laughed their pants off.

"Are they always this rowdy?" Haneul asked while joining in the fun.

"No. They're even more so. I can't tell you how many places we were kicked out off for being too noisy." Hyunsoo replied back in pain.

"Oh right. Here's your wallet back. I've forgotten all this time." Hyunsoo passed the wallet back.

"Thanks. I couldn't even pay for the cab ride back last night because i dropped this." Haneul retold his story.

"So, Australia huh?" Hyunsoo inquired. He saw that there was an Australian driver's license inside.

"Yeah. I grew up there until i moved here two years ago." Haneul smiled back, not at all shy about Hyunsoo's questions.

"Why'd you come back? I mean, not to say there's anything wrong but moving alone to Korea isn't really easy if you don't know anyone here." Hyunsoo questioned.

"Well, to be honest. It was to look for my parent's. I was an orphan, so all i had on me was this necklace all through my life. Apparently, the nuns that took care of me said it was left with me when i was found there." Haneul said casually.

"Oh... Sorry." Hyunsoo awkwardly said while sipping his beer.

"No it's okay. I'm not ashamed of who i am. Anyways, i heard from the Nun's when i was eighteen that my parents left me a letter..." Haneul paused, and took a shot before continuing.

"And in that letter said that they sent him there because of their circumstances didn't allow them to publicly have a child together."

"... does that mean you are?" Hyunsoo continued on.

"Yep. Illegitimate child, was it? My friend taught me that word when i came here. She said that's what they call me, according to drama's and such. " Haneul laughed it off.

"Well. It's okay, you'll find them one day. There are only so many people in Korea." Hyunsoo poured him another shot.

"I think I've given up. I realize that it doesn't really matter much anymore. I didn't really know the reason why i'd want to find them anyways." absentmindedly muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Hyunsoo asked back

"Nothing, nothing Haha. Alright guys, one more round to end the night! This hyung needs to at least find his way home!" Haneul shouted towards the others.

"Cheers!" Everyone cheered in unison.

***

" -TM Entertainment? Isn't that from 'Bestfriend's ' agency? You got a card from them? Why?" Sunhee questioned over the phone.

"Who's Bestfriend? Aren't you my best friend? When did you have an agency?" Haneul asked back.

"No, you idiot. 'Bestfriend' the girl group. Idols! They're the pretty girls you hear on the radio a lot. Now tell me, why'd you get a card from TM?!" She retorted, annoyed at her dumb friend.

"I don't know, I think it was because of last night? Apparently ..." Haneul sloppily muttered what the events that happened after she went home.

"I knew that was you! the clothes and height were the same but i wasn't sure since you didn't really dance that often." Sunhee exclaimed, obviously feeling a little cheated.

"So? what do you plan to do? are you going to do it?" She followed up.

"Do what? Audition?" Haneul retorted back, as he strolled along Han river.

"Duh, Obviously. I mean, honestly speaking, although i haven't heard you sing, you can dance and appearance isn't bad. Plus, you're not even fat despite all you eat. You have good chances making it through." She somewhat awkwardly said in a serious tone.

"But i don't know anything about being an idol, you know that." He muttered back. while nearly tripping on some empty cans.

"And? What else are you going to do now anyways? Do you have any aspirations? You don't want to go to school, don't want to go find new work. What do you have to lose going?" She lectured on and on.

"Ah, so noisy. I'm hanging up." Haneul frowned and ended the call midway.

He still used his Nokia 9300 despite it being the age of smartphones. He received it from his close friend back in Australia, and never changed it despite everyone's objections.

He drunkenly sat down at a set of stairs gazing towards the people taking a stroll along the bay, and dazed while the cold wind brushed against his face.

'Do you have any aspirations, huh? I wonder if i do ...'

Haneul sighed to himself in helplessness.