An Act of Selfishness.

And so the sour conversation continued for hours as I drank. My body started swaying and my eyes went blurry.

"Speaking of your kid, hey you!" Glut snapped his finger in front of me. The man in the military uniform had made two clones of himself on either side. And both of them were swaying as much as I was.

"Huh? What do you wantt??"

"Aren't you too young to be drinking?" Weren't they a little too late in asking that though?

"Shut u-" Before I could even finish, I passed out on that table.

When my consciousness barely came through, I remembered feeling as if I was being carried upstairs and being put on a bed. 

"She's still a little kid" 

"I hope our Rita doesn't grow up like her." The man knelt before me and put his hand on my head. "Not sick. She should be fine…"

I trailed off again.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

The following morning I woke up to the sound of chatter and bustle on the street below making my head felt like it wanted to crawl out of my ears. 

"It hurtsss. Wait!" The sun was out. It was morning. I was late

I frantically looked for my pouch of coins, grabbed it and headed down.

"How much was it for the night?" I asked the innkeeper.

"The guys from last night paid it already." There was no way they were nice enough to pay for me.

I promptly checked my pouch and a few coins were missing. 

"Fifteen per night?" I asked the innkeeper after checking the difference.

"Fourteen."

Shit. I didn't have the time to be worrying about this.

"Thanks for the night." The bell jingled behind me as I dashed through the door.

I had no idea where I was right now but I could clearly see where the ocean was. So I followed a road that led to it.

Even though it was not the main street it was full. I could hear traders selling textiles, and hawkers selling spices. I could smell the scent of freshly baked bread. Only for a second as I rushed.

It was a busy day. From the chatters around town, I heard mentions of a new caravan of goods coming in. The people were talking in a low rumbling whisper as they headed towards where I did. Something felt off.

"Did you hear about the ship?"

My ears perked up. My footsteps sped up. With the new caravans and vendors, we were not the only ship here.

"The ship with those sea thugs?" Oh… They were talking about us. "They were always causing such a ruckus in the tow-"

My breath became erratic. If it was just a whisper it was gossip. If the entire crowd was whispering, it was trouble.

"Who's in charge of the town's affairs now? I thought the stationed military left this morning." I heard another whisper.

"Not that they would do anything. The first thing those thugs did was slip some gold into the superintendent's pocket."

"Well, the paladins got appointed the town guards now. Heard they are dealing with the law. It's going to get a lot stricter now."

I had to go.

I pushed and pushed. The back of my throat was dry. Before I knew it even with the seething headache I was running towards where the tip of our ship's mast was. Everything else was the least of my concerns.

I bumped and shoved people out of my way. An annoyed man slapped the back of my head as I bumped into him. I couldn't care less about that. I started running again.

I couldn't breathe through my open mouth. It had clogged up. As I gulped my spit down, the momentary lack of air caused me to lose my balance and slip on ice.

Looking down at the ground I had an urge to throw up. What did they mean that the paladins were going to arrest our crew? I felt my heart sinking. The fact that I had to run to the crew- no, to father still held true, My mind wasn't willing to do anything. It was entirely blank.

I helplessly watched as the crowd split into two separate groups around me and cleared the road. Banners, armour, and chains. The march shook the ground in oscillations. Clash of metal against stone.

I was unable to take in any sort of information.

The paladins were walking through town parading the crew behind them as an example. It became apparent that this was the end of our gig. Just a couple of hours and we would've been on top of the waves.

We overstayed our welcome in this town.

"No, don't give up yet. All that matters is dad. All that matters is dad." I chanted under my baited breath still grasping for air.

Most of the other pirates were shitbags. Most I didn't like. But I didn't need to like them. I had one reason to be on that ship and that one reason was getting dragged in front of me. He had his eyes down but seemed calmer than in his worst moments.

It only took a moment but my life shattered before my eyes. I had spent the past couple of years taking care of that man. Despite his hard exterior, I knew he was a soft idiot on the inside.

His chains anchored my heart to the soil.

The punishment for piracy was at the very least condemnation to slavery.

Not being able to hold back. I had butterflies in my stomach.

The march stopped in front of me and the one leading it took a stance in front of me, offering me his hand. I reluctantly took it and stood up.

"Are you perhaps unwell? You reek of alcohol."

I gulped the rest back in. I kept eying the men behind him. With tears slowly swelling up in my eyes.

"Do you perhaps know these men?"

The answer was a simple yes. I knew what I wanted to say. I wasn't ashamed of what we did. My father and I were blameless. He was but a chef. He only cooked and cleaned. We never murdered or hurt anyone. And I only stole from those who made our lives miserable. All we did was try to survive! 

But to live and to thrive are different things. I was selfish. Even at this moment, I wished for what was best for me. I knew that blatantly involving myself with this had a chance of me being forced into slavery. I didn't want that for myself. There were boys my age getting dragged in chains too. And women too. I didn't want to risk being them.

For this once I wanted to be proud and make a statement. Maybe I could weasel my way out of this situation and save my father. Maybe I could sacrifice myself and let him live properly. Even though he wasn't the best father, he gave up a lot to raise me. I didn't want to. It felt so unfair. Why us?!

"I-" That was when dad finally looked up. He was no older than thirty but his eyes looked like the elders from our town. 

"Shut up." His mouth moved twisting into the first genuine smile I had seen in years. "Live."

I never followed my father to help him, it was to help myself. He provided me with safety from becoming another man's plaything. And even in a situation like this, he wished for what was best for me.

It was the end of something we had. The end of the lives we had led so far. Being separated for an unmeasurable period of time.

'I don't deserve this!' I cried like a brat in my mind. Biting my lip to saying those words out loud. Last night was so different. Everything was good until yesterday.

My weakness was tearing me apart.

Leaving the pirate ship and getting close to being free. I had never imagined it was going to be so painful.

"I was captured by these fucking hooligans." I broke down in the priest's arms. Lies. Lies! I went there on my own accord. The only thing genuine was my tears. In that one moment. "I tried ta run away last night but one o'em followed me into the tavern. So I tried running into safety. They- they forced drinks on me too- and and." I yapped and balled like an insane bitch. For minutes that seemed like hours my incessant lies filled these streets.

Let alone my father, most of the crew knew what I said was a lie, yet no one spoke up. They just grit their teeth and moved onward. 

My perceptions were not true. My father wasn't pathetic and the crew weren't shitbags. Everyone just had different things they believed in. Camaraderie was one of them. Yet here I was throwing them under the bus.

That day I had come to a conclusion.

I was perhaps the worst of them all.