His pain, her hurt

*Xin Lei*

I watched the gun drop from Bai Li's hand. He screamed with his hands holding the sides of his head, his forehead furrowed into thin creases sweating a lot, his chest heaving up and down in deep breaths and his entire body trembling a little.

He was there just a moment ago, standing with confidence with his gun aimed at the goon, but now his face was distorted in anxiety.

I was a doctor.

I knew the signs.

Bai Li was having a panic attack.

And at that moment, I wanted to rush towards him and take him in my arms. The strong, tough, and blunt man whom I met forty-eight hours back was reduced to such a pitiful state. I wanted to pat his head. I wanted to pacify him. I wanted to say that everything was alright.

His state triggered a whole lot of emotions within me for him.

I just wanted to get to his side.

But the minion - as Bai Li says, had his arm tightly wound around my neck. I didn't sense when he crept behind me. With that struggle, I dropped the phone.

Then I saw the leader, clutching his abdomen, was staggering to stand.

"You bastard!" Then he laughed. "What? Did you give up? Weren't you so cocky just a minute ago?"

But it was as if Bai Li heard nothing.

Cocoa jumped to his side and was walking and stuttering around him anxiously. He raised his paw and touched Bai Li on his hand, I think, patting him. He started licking his cheek.

'Bai Li...no...'

I had to go to his side.

In the hem of my skirt, I had a pocket where I kept some needles with a strong dose of anesthesia and sleeping medicine.

I quietly grabbed one as they were focussed on Bai Li. I poked it hard on the goon's arm.

"Ouch!" He groaned.

His grip loosened. I grabbed this chance and quickly ran away from him.

"You bitch!"

The leader rushed towards Bai Li, and the goon came after me. They were close enough to catch me but then...

*Bang*

Huh?

*Bang*

I turned. Both the men had a hole in between their brows. They tumbled down.

"Hey!" The voice came from above.

A woman was waving at me with a smile on her face.

She was the same barmaid.

There was also a silhouette of a man beside her in the darkness, and I was pretty sure that he was holding a gun.

"Kid, you alright?" Uncle Rong asked me from another side. "Damn, they are already dead? I wanted to make the shot."

I stared back at the barmaid and bowed. I couldn't thank her enough.

"Your welcome." She smiled again.

I dashed towards Bai Li and took him in my arms. His broad chest seemed so small in my embrace now. At that moment I felt that I could see no one else but Bai Li. I patted his back to calm him down.

"It-It was not...my fault..." He was mumbling. I could feel his ragged breath on my neck.

'Bai Li is the one in pain, but why is it hurting me? Why do I feel the need to cry?'

'Bai Li, I don't want to see you so weak.'

I desperately waved my hands to show him that it was over.

But he couldn't see.

'Bai Li, you'll be alright.'

'Bai Li, stay calm.'

'Bai Li, I'm here with you.'

I wanted to say these things, but nothing came out of my mouth.

I was mute. No word, no sound. And for the first time, I felt utterly helpless.

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted my voice.

"I didn't know he was there…I'm not suffering anymore." Bai Li mumbled again. A memory must have triggered this attack.

I snapped out. I had no time to waste.

I checked his pulse. His heartbeats were erratic. I had to inject him with the anti-anxiety drug.

But I would have to go to a chemist. Uncle Rong said, "I will look-"

"Bai Li?" I raised my head and two men whom I never met called out his name. They were dressed in casual shirts and jeans.

"Arf!" Cocoa leaped towards them, who just entered the alley.

"Cocoa!" They patted his head.

Who were they? But they seemed to know Bai Li and Cocoa. They looked at the goons, sprawled on the ground, and shared a glance at each other.

Our gazes met, and they looked at me curiously. Then it shifted towards Bai Li, and worried, they rushed towards him.

"Hey, Bai Li, what happened?" One of them was checking him. The other one squinted his eyes and softly said, "Panic attack."

I didn't have my phone with me. I waved my hands, indicating at Bai Li. I hoped that they would understand my sign language.

The man on my right frowned.

Uncle Rong came to my rescue. "She is a doctor. Bring him inside. She needs to bring the medicines."

---

"Xin Lei, here." Uncle Rong called me out as I came rushing after buying the medicine.

Inside the same room where we talked just a few minutes ago, Bai Li laid on the couch with the two men on his side, who I guess were his friends. Cocoa was sitting near his head, licking his cheek.

Bai Li was still sweating a little, but thankfully he was not breathing as heavily as before. He seemed to be in a daze.

Good. It meant that he was slowly calming down.

I took out a small bottle and an injection. It contained the anti-anxiety drug, benzodiazepine that helps in relaxing the nerves and depression.

I filled the injection with the exact amount of it needed. I pulled over his sleeves, applied a small dose of anesthesia, and injected him with the drug. I checked his eyes. He looked a little unfocused.

Slowly, his breathing became steady, and his body eased up that was stiffened due to tension and stress.

I looked up at his two friends and Uncle Rong and nodded. I gestured with my hands.

'He is fine now.'

They were finally relieved as their furrowed brows loosened up.

The man on the right spoke first. "Thank you for treating him. You did a good job."

I nodded.

"Oh, right, we haven't introduced ourselves. My name is Lin Zhihao."

The other man bowed slightly. "My name is Su Weiyuan."

"We are Bai Li's friends and comrades from the Army."