Massive Sh*t

{Two Weeks Later}

(Katsuo POV)

I was again in a lotus pose, breathing in and out, letting my elements run rampant around the simulator. Fire, Lightning, and Air mixed together to form a tornado, laced with crackling fiery energy, running amok the room unimpeded. Earth constructs then emerged from the ground, ranging from a hand raising its middle finger to letters spelling out my name, K.A.T.S.U.O.

It was a clusterfuck of elements. The reason I was doing this was that I felt a nudge on my Mana Core, a soft, gentle nudge, asking to be let out.

You see, after my fight with Lisa's avatar, as usual, I trained and trained and then trained some more, resulting in me jumping two sub-levels. Then, like an advisor telling you your thesis is "good, but do better," I hit a roadblock. Advancing to Master Core was hard, extremely hard. Like a troll on a bridge wanting you to answer his riddle.

But four days later, after relentlessly giving out my "thesis ideas" and answering the troll's "riddle," I felt the nudge—three soft, gentle nudges. I instinctively knew that right now, I needed to let it all out. Like taking a massive sh*t on the toilet.

After what felt like an eternity blasting off my Mana to full power, three presences graced my lovely being. A Fire Sprite, a Lightning Bunny—how did I know it was a lightning bunny? Well, he was letting his elements out like a bootleg Pikachu—and an Earth Golem.

I stared at the trio in disbelief. "Well, this is new," I muttered. The Fire Sprite buzzed around, setting little fires everywhere like a hyperactive toddler with a flamethrower. The Lightning Bunny twitched its nose and zapped everything in sight, including me. "Ouch! Hey, watch it, Pikachu wannabe!" The Earth Golem just stood there, looking like it was contemplating the meaning of life.

"Alright, guys, let's get this under control," I said, trying to sound authoritative. The Fire Sprite responded by igniting the K in K.A.T.S.U.O. "No, not that kind of control!" I yelped, stomping out the flames.

The Lightning Bunny decided to have a race with itself, zipping around the room and leaving little scorch marks in its wake. "Great," I sighed.

The Earth Golem, bless its rocky heart, slowly shuffled over and tried to help, but ended up turning the middle-finger hand into a peace sign. "Well, at least you're trying," I said, patting its stony head.

After a chaotic half-hour, I managed to get them to settle down. The Fire Sprite perched on my shoulder, the Lightning Bunny curled up by my feet, and the Earth Golem stood guard behind me.

"So, are you guys my new team or something?" I asked, half-joking. The Fire Sprite flickered in what I assumed was a nod, the Lightning Bunny zapped its approval, and the Earth Golem gave a slow, deliberate thumbs-up.

"Alright then," I said, feeling oddly proud of my elemental squad. "Let's see what we can do together."

I then inputted my favorite fodder, goblins. "I could be best friends with Goblin Slayer if I keep this up," I mused as I finished setting it up.

The simulator beeped, and a horde of goblins materialized, looking as menacing as ever—if you can call two-foot-tall creatures with oversized heads and bad dental hygiene menacing.

"Alright, team, let's do this!" I declared, brandishing Sanchomo. The Fire Sprite buzzed excitedly, leaving a trail of smoke as it zoomed ahead. The Lightning Bunny twitched its nose and charged, little sparks flying off its fur. The Earth Golem lumbered forward, looking like it was ready to philosophize the goblins into submission.

The goblins charged, waving their crude weapons and screeching. The Fire Sprite took the lead, setting their loincloths on fire. Goblins ran around, patting their butts, looking like they were in some bizarre dance-off. "Nice one, Flamethrower!" I cheered.

The Lightning Bunny followed up, zipping between the goblins and zapping them with bolts of electricity. The goblins convulsed and fell over, twitching. "Pikachu's got nothing on you," I laughed.

Then came the Earth Golem, who casually swatted goblins aside like they were annoying flies. One particularly brave goblin tried to stab it with a rusty dagger. The Golem looked down, sighed (or maybe that was just a rumble), and flicked the goblin away. "Zen master at work," I muttered.

I joined the fray, slicing through goblins with Sanchomo. Judgement Cut, slashed through a group of them in one swift motion. They didn't even have time to scream before they were in pieces. "Note to self: bring a mop next time," I said, stepping over the remains.

The battle was over in minutes. The Fire Sprite buzzed around triumphantly, the Lightning Bunny did a little victory dance, and the Earth Golem just stood there, looking like it was pondering the secrets of the universe.

"Well, that was fun," I said, wiping goblin guts off my blade. "Good job, team." The Fire Sprite flickered happily, the Lightning Bunny zapped me again (in a friendly way, I think), and the Earth Golem gave me another thumbs-up.

I looked at my elemental squad, feeling a strange sense of camaraderie. "You know, I think we make a pretty good team," I said, smiling.

Feeling satisfied and happy, I exited the simulator with my three home bois.

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As I was heading to my room, I saw Damysus, his ever-large frame always noticeable, walking towards our direction.

"Damysus!" I yelled, and he looked at me and smiled as we approached each other.

"Katsuo, how have you been?" he said, his gruff and deep voice resonating through the hallway.

Just then, my Lightning Bunny and Earth Golem stood in front of me, while my Fire Sprite perched on my shoulder, looked at Damysus curiously. The Lightning Bunny was clearly excited to meet the half-giant, and the Earth Golem comically stood guard, even though he was only three feet tall—ready to sacrifice his life for the king and country.

"And who are these little fellas?" Damysus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, meet my kids!" I presented them cheerfully. "Though I don't have a name for them yet," I then looked at each of them, puzzled by their reactions.

The Lightning Bunny was practically vibrating with excitement, emitting tiny bolts of happiness. The Earth Golem had what I could only describe as teary-eyed determination, like a tiny soldier ready to defend his homeland. The Fire Sprite on my shoulder gave me a warm smile, radiating a pleasant heat.

Damysus scratched his chin thoughtfully. "How about Kai for the bunny, Jade for the golem, and Dem for the sprite?"

The Lightning Bunny bounced up and down, clearly thrilled with his new name. "Alright, Kai it is!" I said, grinning.

The Earth Golem gave a solemn nod, accepting the name Jade as if it were a knightly title. "Jade, welcome to the team," I said, patting him on his stony head.

Dem, the Fire Sprite, flared up happily, sending a warm tingle down my shoulder. "And Dem, you're now officially christened," I said, chuckling.

Damysus laughed, his deep voice rumbling. "Looks like you've got yourself a squad."

"Yeah, a pretty awesome one," I replied. "You know, with these guys, I might just stand a chance against anything."

"Well, don't get too cocky," Damysus warned, but his smile took the edge off his words. "Remember, you're not just fighting for yourself anymore. You've got little ones depending on you now."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I said, rolling my eyes good-naturedly. "Don't worry, Dad, I'll be careful."

Damysus shook his head, still smiling. "Good luck, Katsuo. You're going to need it."

With that, we parted ways, my newly named elemental squad following me proudly. "Alright, Kai, Jade, Dem, let's go get some rest. We've got a lot of training to do."

As we walked away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement.

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As we entered my room, we were greeted by an all-too-familiar meow from my Best Boi, Tom. He approached me but stopped short as he noticed the three new figures. Tom looked up at me, clearly questioning, "Who are those?"

"Well, bud, they will be our new roommates!" I said cheerfully.

Tom eyed Kai, Jade, and Dem apprehensively. He gave me a look that said, "Seriously?" But then, after a moment of cat-like contemplation, he nodded. Almost immediately, Kai excitedly zipped in front of Tom and began hopping around like a caffeinated rabbit. Tom meowed calmly, and to my surprise, Kai stopped in his tracks. It was as if Tom had magically tamed the little lightning furball. A surprising feat!

"Well, looks like Tom's the boss now," I chuckled.

Jade, the Earth Golem, lumbered over to Tom, offering what seemed to be a respectful salute. Tom, being the regal feline he is, gave a slow, approving blink, which I assume is cat-speak for "You may continue to exist in my presence."

Dem, the Fire Sprite, floated down from my shoulder and settled near Tom, casting a warm glow around him. Tom, ever the connoisseur of warmth, purred contentedly and settled into the cozy glow Dem provided.

"Alright, seems like everyone's getting along," I said, feeling relieved. "Let's call it a night, team."

Kai nestled himself by Tom, emitting gentle sparks that seemed to soothe the room. Jade found a corner and, with a little earth manipulation, created a comfy stone bed for himself. Dem hovered above, casting a soft, flickering light that was surprisingly soothing.

I climbed into my own bed, feeling the weight of the day lift off my shoulders. Tom curled up at the foot of my bed, purring softly. Kai, Jade, and Dem settled into their spots, each emitting their unique elemental energies, blending together into a harmonious lullaby of sorts.

As my eyes grew heavy, I couldn't help but smile. "Goodnight, guys," I whispered.

With that, we all drifted off to sleep, ready to face whatever adventures tomorrow would bring, together.