17 Chapter seventeen: First date

Rian's POV:

It's been weeks since our vacation with my friends and my interaction with Alex. We're back home and all things starts to normal again, there's just a bit changes and added these past weeks. I think, because I openly see Ryan in our apartment doing -- you already know -- with my bestfriend Cari.

There were times I accidentally caught them 'making out' if not in the living room, sometimes in the kitchen. And take note, Cari's room becoming noisy almost every God damned morning and night, because of their grunts and moans than can be fucking heard from my thin-walled wall.

And my situation with Alex got instantly into a new level. I am experiencing now having a possessive husband, always jealous of a boyfriend, an overprotective father, a tease of a brother and a caring mother in one. Although I'm not complaining. I'm actually happy about it.

He really bought me a cellphone the next day he promised me, even though I insisted that he doesn't need to buy me as I can really buy my own. But as persistent as Alex, I didn't get a chance to argue with him. Since then, I received messages from him every day. Saying 'good morning beautiful', 'have a nice day', please safe at work', don't skip any meal of the day', 'take care', goodnight gorgeous'... He even calls me three to four times a week.

But our family doesn't know about what's happening between us. We only keep it to ourselves, and not actually talking or planning on telling them.

I am lying if I say I don't want any of this or I'm not happy, because I am. But of course, you can't never take having doubts in me because no one informed me about this feelings. I can say Alex really care for me, but I haven't heard him say those three words.. you know what I mean.

We're actually having dinner out for tonight. Cari is in my room picking a dress for me.

It's a Saturday today and my satur-date night with my friends, was already taken care of my husband who firmly say "No Pairings". If he just only knew.

"You're husband is not so possessive right ?" Cari teased me, coming from behind the closest with a dress on her hand.

"Yeah, but of course. I still can't spill him what Gavin's precious secret." I said wiping my hair with a towel. I started to blow dry it as I sit on the chair in front of the mirror.

"And speaking of his possessiveness, you haven't shared to me when did it start. You don't have time for me now. Your time is only divided into two, in your work and the one is on your husband." she said pouting.

"Hey! Is it really me who doesn't have time for our friendship or it's you? You're always with Ryan this past few weeks and I always caught you eating each other's throat everywhere in this house. Jeez!"

she blushed followed by a laugh.

"Let's have a friendship sun-date tomorrow. Strictly no boys!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, as if Ryan would agree."

"Why not? Whether we have our sun-dates with boys, he would surely agree because he has nothing for Gavin's. The question is, how about your husband as we all know he has this very big thing called jealousy in his pants."

I laughed as soon as I heard her comment about Alex extreme jealousy. Which is somehow I'm glad because he's open on admitting it.

"I'll try to tell him later."

"Huh! Good luck baby girl." I just rolled my eyes on her last comment.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Alex brought me in a fancy restaurant. I can say it's our first official date together as a husband and wife. He's been a gentleman to me throughout the evening.

It feels like I am on a cloud nine. My feet are barely touching the floor. I was just imagining such this things before and I wasn't expecting it to happen... well I did. I was hoping that someday he will also appreciate me, look at me with those piercing gray eyes like I am the only love of his life, stare at me like how supposed to be a husband should stare at his wife with happiness and adoration.

This new set in our relationship is all new to me and somehow a part of me can't fully believe that his emotions and feelings towards this marriage will change in just one night. The night that I was almost rape... where it started this all.

We never talk again what happened that night, the rest of it and how we ended up in this situation. I just found myself listening to him like it's my normal routine ever since. We started to talk like normal couple like nothing ever happened with those four years. And what happening between us right now, it feels like we've been doing this a long time, where the truth is, this is just the first time.

I am cutting the last piece of my steak when I found him looking at me, well the right word--- staring ay me. I am a person who doesn't hide and feeling ashamed about me being in love with food. I love eating, and I love it rather than sleeping. That's why I also doesn't give shit to those who talk about me... my motto...'Mind your own business'.

But let me tell you, any person who does love eating can be distracted when there is someone watching you eat, your every bite and your every chew... especially if that someone is your husband for four years and your first date is happening only....now.

"What?" I snapped at him, getting my wine and take a sip.

"Nothing. I just find you... ahm.. amusing." he shrugged and also take his wine.

"Because I ate a lot?" I arched my eyebrow but I didn't get offended, but I still kinda feel to let my mouth talk out.

I crossed my hands over my chest. "Well, sorry to disappoint Mr. Smith, but I want you to know that I eat a lot. I don't waste food because there are so many people getting hungry and can't buy their own food." I shrugged before I continue. "And sorry again because I don't only eat salads like your bimbos."

I ended with a smile. I don't know but I didn't find it weird now that I called him Mr. Smith. It just comes out naturally from my mouth.

"Hey, you lectured me when I was just saying was I find you amusing." he chuckled and I arched my eyebrow.

"What is exactly that amusing? Kindly enlighten me, please?"

"Well, you said you eat a lot. I already know that actually. I just don't know where you put your eaten foods in your body because you seemed-----"

"Fat?" I narrowed my eyes.

"No! I - I ... that's not what I mean. I just haven't seen you working out but you still in your figure. That's why I find you amusing."

"Ohh, you haven't seen me working out because I'm not into that. But I do jogging three times a week. You wouldn't really know because you were the one who weren't at my side, ever since." I just said without thinking. My eyes widened. It makes him stop on his trance and his eyes suddenly held hurt and sadness.

"I - I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It's just slipped from my mouth." I bite my lips and mentally slapped myself.

"It's okay. You're just saying what's in your mind. And besides it's true. I wasn't there -----"

"Alex, I'm sorry." I hold his hand which on top of the table. "I don't want it to hold as a grudge on you. I want us to start over without the past coming in between us." he held back my hand and smiled but that doesn't reach his eyes.

-'stupid! why do I have to mention it again? argh!'-

"Hey, you don't have to say sorry. It's not your fault. It was on me. And I understand." he smiled again before bringing my hand to his lips. My breath instantly stop on my throat.

I opened a conversation again after a minute of silence.

"Ahm... we're going on a sun-date tomorrow with my friends----"

"No!" he didn't even let me finish my sentence. He dropped his napkin on the table and his face holding a serious expression.

"Alex, it's just a friend-----"

"Rian, I said no. And we already talked about this. You're not going out with Gavin or any man-----"

"Can you just let me finish a single sentence?" I bring up my elbows on the table. "Why do you hate Gavin so much? He doesn't do anything bad to you."

"I don't hate him."

"If you don't, then why don't you want me to hang out with him?"

"Because he's a man Rian. And I didn't say you can't hang out with your friends, I just don't want you to be alone with him."

"We've been friends and bestfriends for two years and running three this year. He's been there when I needed a friend, a brother. And I don't want him to feel that I am setting him aside now that we're okay."

"Baby, trust me, that's not what I mean." he's now holding both of my hands.

"I just don't want you seeing with another man that I don't trust after what happened at the resort that night."

I shake my head and smile that doesn't reach my eyes.

"If you were just been in my life in those four years, you would have seen how Gavin means to me. I hate to tell you this, but you can't just barge suddenly into my life telling me what to do or not, especially to those who've been a part of my life when you're not there." I said standing up and taking both hands from his hold.

I get my purse and my phone on the table and started to walk out of the restaurant. I don't know how he paid our bill, probably just leaving some cash on the table, because after a while I felt him trailing behind me. I hate it how our first date ended up like this.. me walking away and him trailing behind me.

It just feels like I wanted to tell him those things. I don't want him to judge my friends as I am not judging what circles of friends he had.

"Rian!" he called out but I didn't stop walking until I exited the door.

"Rian! Baby, I'm sorry." I instantly stop on my tracks.

-'did he just say 'sorry?'-

He reached my hand and he held my face.

"I'm not good at saying sorry----"

"I can clearly see that." I cut him off. I already know that. Alexander Jonathan Smith doesn't apologize, it's clear as a water on the falls.

He tightly closed his eyes before opening it again but now as if he's in pain.

-'is it hard for him sometimes to admit that he's wrong?'-

"Baby, I'm sorry okay? Believe me, it's not my intention to dragged you away from your friends when I showed up in your life, again. I made a mistake of letting you live alone in this marriage, and trust me when I say I want us to work. I want us to give a chance on this marriage. Please, I want you to give me a chance to cover up all those years that I've been a coward to face this. Baby, I want to be with you in every step of the way and I want you all just for me."

"Don't you think I didn't know that, Mr. Smith? But don't worry, I also hate sharing. It's just that I don't have you, so the word sharing has nothing to do about me. I don't own you in the first place so there's also nothing for me to share. And it seems that I can't do anything because you were the one who willingly gave yourself to every woman who also willingly opened their legs to you."

I don't know what part of my speech is something funny because he is now laughing at me.

"Funny, Mr. Smith?" I asked annoyed and crossed my hands over my chest.

"You never told me you were jealous of those women Mrs. Smith."

"I'm not. I'm just stating the fact. What's to be jealous for, you're not my husband for those years so, I am in no place to feel jealous. Right, Mr. Smith?" although my own words cut like a knife to me, I have the needs to shout it out to him just to save even a single piece of my shattered heart that scattered now on the floor.

He held my hand again and without saying a word, he pulled me to where his car was parked. I thought he's going to open my door but he pushed me slightly to it not enough to hurt me. And before I could say anything, his lips smashed into mine in a very possessed manner. I was shocked but it didn't wait any seconds to me to respond to his kiss.

My hands know where to go. It automatically lifted up on his hair. His hands starting to roamed my body, from my waist, my back, down to my waist again, then to my butt which he kneaded and made me gasp. That gave him enough time to enter his tongue inside my mouth, tasting and savoring every inch inside.

A moan escaped from my mouth when his lips started to work on my jaws down to my neck, nibbling and sucking, and then another moan from me when he found my sweet spot. Every moan that escaped from my lips, he responded it with a groaned as if he was in pain.

He pressed his body more to me and I can feel now his throbbing erection as it is poking down my belly. Alex knows how to make me go crazy by just his touch. But as much as I don't want to stop us from this dream, we need to go back to reality. My blush instantly crept when I remembered that we were still in the parking lot. Some people may see us would think I am a kind of slut or Alex's whore.

I pushed him slightly. "Alex we need to stop. We are still in the parking lot and people might see us."  he's eyebrows turned to frowned as I tried to take off his hand from my waist but instead of removing it, he only tightened his hold.

"Alex, what people might think?"

"I don't care if they fucking see us! They can mind their own business!" he said a bit annoyed.

I noticed we have the same motto.

"Or there is something else running on your mind?"

I looked away when he search for my eyes.

"Rian?"

"Nothing. I just don't want me to become your slut in their eyes-----"

"Jesus! Rian! What are you talking about? Slut, seriously? " I can't look into his eyes. Holding my two shoulders, he lifts my chin so he can see my eyes.

"Don't. you. ever. think. of. that. again!" he mentioned it word by word... "Those woman I've been with were nothing compared to you. You are not a slut nor a whore. And don't you ever compare yourself to them. Baby, you are my wife. Whatever we are doing, there is nothing of it that concerns them. Do you understand me?" he asked in a soft voice.

I slightly nod. I didn't wait for him to open my car door for me. I distracted him when I peck him on his lips on a very quick kiss. I pulled the seat belt and I buckled it on. I saw him muttering something to himself while walking over to the driver seat.

"I have a question." I blurted out after he started the engine. I need to ask this... it's now or never.

He cocked his head towards my direction. "What is it?"

"What happened in the parking lot, was that all you do to your girlfriends before or to those woman you dated?"

Thank you so much because I have a seatbelt wrapping me to my chair, because once my question came out from my mouth, he stepped the gas hard and we came to stop into a halt.

I was about to speak what happened but he turned his head with rage on me.

"Jesus, Rian!"

Funny how many times he said the word 'Jesus'.

"What I am doing to those women was afar from what I am doing with you. I can always control myself to them, but when it comes to you, I don't how to control myself. You're making me insane Every time you walk swaying your hips in front of me!"

-'swaying my hips? I can clearly not remember ... when did I do that?-'