Chapter 32: Self-Interest l

-- WEDNESDAY, MAY 10, 2006, FINALS BREAK --

I felt something tickle my balls, and with a start, I jerked awake.

"Mmph!" somebody groaned, and as I sat up, I realized I'd just shoved my dick an inch into a girl's throat. She took it like a trouper, gagging only slightly and keeping her head down, breathing heavily through her nose until I pulled back. And then she resumed rhythmically pumping my shaft in her hands and sucking on the mushroom head as if I'd never interrupted her.

My eyes fluttered for a brief second, giving me just enough time to see the golden blonde head bobbing up and down in my lap before my heavy eyelids closed themselves. The first thought into my head was the image of a young woman's face, astonishingly beautiful. Her eyes were a golden hazel and her smile so perfect that I wanted to fall in love with her at first sight. The second thought to enter my head was that I'd happily give up absolutely everything in exchange to have this exact feeling every morning for the rest of my life.

She was a world-famous supermodel lusted after by millions, both male AND female given the public perception of her sexuality. But of those millions, only a select few ever actually got to be with her even just once (well, MALES at least), and I counted myself quite lucky to be one of them. But I didn't want it to be just once. I wanted to be with her over and over and over again. I wanted her to permanently be in my life.

She used to be a constant presence. While we'd started off as mere acquaintances, neighbors who lived on the same street but ran in different high school crowds, time and circumstance had changed all that. First we'd become lovers. Then we'd become friends. And finally we'd become family.

Until she was gone.

Oh, she always came back, short visits to get her fix of the only cock she'd take into her body for the rest of her life. Like putting on a comfortable old sweater, we'd immediately fall into a zone of familiarity and act as if we'd never been apart. But all too soon she would leave again, taking a piece of my soul with her wherever she went.

In this moment, feeling her throat contracting around my shaft and sending ripples of exquisite pleasure throughout my nerves to explode in my brain, I swore to heaven I'd dedicate my life to remaining by her side if only I could feel this every morning for the rest of my life.

And it wasn't even morning.

Already weakened by blood loss, injury, and drowsiness-inducing prescription drugs, my poor body couldn't hold up after all the drama of the day. Shortly after Adrienne's invitation to move to New York with her, I'd excused myself to take a nap and fallen asleep with Sasha sitting up by my side, stroking my newly bald head.

I didn't know how long I'd napped, but the sky outside the window had obviously darkened. Still, even without a single lamp on inside my bedroom, there was enough light to show me Adrienne Fucking Dennis' brilliant meat-filled smile when I cracked my eyes open and stared down my own body.

"Have a nice nap?" she chirped with a smirk after popping off my prick. The busty blonde bombshell lapped at my cockhead like a kid with an ice cream cone a few times before raising her head to resume her up and down bobbing motions. And she hummed happily while caving in her cheeks to give me even more intense suction.

"Unnnghh..." I groaned rapturously, lifting a hand to caress her cheek. She smiled around the mouthful of cock, giving me a few more strokes before pulling away one last time and pushing herself upright.

"You up for this, Tiger?" Adrienne asked while getting to her knees and lifting the hem of the red dress she'd worn into The City this morning. She must have removed her panties while fellating me, and her labia were already wet and spread wide in anticipation.

"I don't know," I replied, staring at her bare-shaven twat. "But I sure wanna find out."

Grinning, my gorgeous blonde-haired/hazel-eyed "sister" shuffled on her knees over my lap and reached down to take my waving prick in hand. After swiping my mushroom head through her moist folds, her eyes fluttered as she centered it against her clit and briefly rubbed her love button against my cock.

I let her rub her little eraser nub with my stiff pencil for a few seconds, until I couldn't stand the anticipation any longer. Reaching underneath her dress and grabbing her by the hips, I dragged her torso forward so that her wet pussy smeared her arousal along my shaft from balls to tip, until I felt my cockhead probing her entrance. And without further delay I yanked my hands down, sheathing my shaft right down to the root.

"Unngh, fuck!" Adrienne grunted at my penetration. She closed her eyes and bowed her head for a moment, focusing inward on the sensations.

Meanwhile, my hands went to the scoop-neck of her top. Big red buttons tried to contain her massive 36F rack, and no matter how tired I might be I found new reserves of energy as I watched inch after creamy inch of mammary flesh revealed as I opened each one.

When I'd unbuttoned her dress down to her navel, Adrienne reached up to pull the two halves of fabric apart for me. Sliding both hands around her back, I found the clasp to her lacy black bra and deftly unhooked it. And then all of a sudden Adrienne couldn't rip her clothes off for me fast enough.

First she yanked down her dress' shoulder straps. Next she tore off her bra. Then she grabbed my shoulders and yanked me upright, slamming my face into her cleavage with just as much force as I'd used to impale her. And finally she grabbed onto the top of the headboard, using it as leverage to hump herself up and down my rod while screaming like a banshee.

My hands went to the sides of her big hooters, squishing the titflesh against my cheeks until I could imagine myself happily suffocating in her cleavage. Hard pink nipples felt like game console controllers against my thumbs, and I playfully manipulated them to make her squeak and squeal and gyrate her body in increasingly wild movements on my cock.

But I'd only been released from the hospital yesterday and I was still hopped up on painkillers and antibiotics. And despite the nap, I still didn't feel up to my usual energy levels. So after only a couple of minutes of vigorous upright shagging, I started to get winded and had to let myself flop backwards against my pillow.

Adrienne didn't slow down at all. Still gripping the top of the headboard, she humped and thrust and swiveled her hips like her life depended on it. It was my first sex act since Carter's, and she seemed determined to make it memorable. Those massive jugs bounced and swayed in every direction only inches above my head while she fucked herself on my upright column of meat. She clenched and milked me with her inner muscles just the way she knew I liked it. And when she felt her own orgasm approaching, she dropped her tits down on top of my chest, sealed her lips over mine, and hammered her pelvis up and down so fast and so hard that I felt myself joining her in orgasmic ecstasy.

"RRRRAAAGHHH!" I suddenly groaned as my ejaculation overtook me, a little bit by surprise. With my reputation and skill, I was certainly used to lasting much longer than this. But it WAS my first time back in the saddle, and I couldn't bring myself to hold back one iota as I felt my balls clenching and wave after wave of cum spraying upwards into my lover's welcoming body.

"AAAHHHHH!" Adrienne screamed as she felt me hosing down her insides. Her arms suddenly cinched around the back of my head, holding me tight as she crushed our lips together so hard that it rattled my teeth. I felt her pussy muscles spasming as her own orgasm matched mine, and together we made spastic humping motions while my cock continued to fire spitwads of spunk into the back of her womb.

Eventually, the world surrounded us once again. When my mind returned from that state of emptiness and bliss, I found myself gasping for oxygen while Adrienne's body slumped against mine, fully naked except for that red dress bunched up around her waist. Our lips had separated, but she was using hers to nuzzle my neck and shoulder while I cradled her body in my arms. And when I found enough energy to speak, I mumbled, "I don't ever want to let you go."

"Me, neither," she replied, just as out of breath as me, more so because she'd pretty much done all the work. "But I want you to know that you don't have to move to New York with me to make that happen. I've made my decision: I'll stay here with you if you don't want to go."

I blinked and turned my head to look down at her. She felt the motion and looked up at me as well. "You serious? What about the new contract?"

"Nothing really wrong with my old contract. At the very least, having a new offer might prompt Ford to sweeten my deal. And to be honest, my relationship with Taylor is good enough that I think they'd still sign me even if I didn't move to New York. I'm in demand and can pretty much name my own price."

"But it would be easier for you to get work if you were over there."

"Well ... yeah..." she admitted. "But it's not like I can't find work closer to home, and maybe being picky about which jobs I take will ultimately increase my price and help avoid overexposure. At the end of the day, the most important thing to me now is staying with you. Period. I think we've been apart long enough."

"I'd like that," I said warmly.

"Me, too." She tilted her face up and kissed me again.

We remained lip-locked for quite a while, expressing our love and reminding each other of how important we were in each other's lives. But eventually I had to take a break to breathe, and despite our passions being re-inflamed by the kiss, my cock had started softening and I knew I didn't have the energy for another round.

Perhaps realizing it as well, Adrienne sighed mournfully and gave me a resigned shrug as she dismounted me and grabbed a tissue to dab at her leakage. "Of course, the whole thing was a pipe dream from the very beginning. There's no way in hell Mom and Dad would let us move across the country, not right after they read all us kids the riot act about being more careful and promising they'd give us a little more visible oversight. Now MAYBE if you HADN'T gone and gotten shot..."

"Gee, so sorry my nearly getting killed is SO inconvenient--"

She shut me up with another kiss, and we both started chuckling into each other's lips. When she pulled back, she sighed and said, "It was never going to happen anyway."

"I'm sorry," I said more sincerely. "As great as the idea of a fresh start in New York sounds, I can't keep running away from my problems. First and foremost, I'm not abandoning Kim. Now maybe if she agreed to move to New York with us, sure, but knowing what I know about her Dad, hell will freeze over first. And even beyond Kim, I don't really want to move so far away from our sisters."

"I know, I know. Still, getting to play with you AND all those hot models Taylor knows woulda been ... well... fun."

I chuckled. "Maybe we can visit."

Adrienne brightened. "How about a summer trip? We could head out for a month or two, I can do a few gigs, and we can network with the other models in Taylor's agency. We can still come home before school starts, and of course be back well before Kim gives birth."

"Hmm ... it's a thought," I mused. "But speaking of Kim, I'm going to have to visit very soon. Tomorrow, I think, though I may need you to drive me if you can get away from work."

Adrienne nodded. "Like I said: I'm in demand. I did have something scheduled, but I already warned them that this week wasn't going to be good after everything that happened Saturday night."

"Andie, on the other hand, I should have already called this morning at the latest. And I need to track down Amber. I honestly don't know why either of them hasn't called ME yet."

Adrienne shrugged. "You'll work it out."

Just then, my stomach started growling. Both Adrienne and I looked down at it, and together we started laughing. "First, though, I think I'd better eat something before my blood sugar drops too low."

"Don't worry about it. Sasha and I rock-paper-scissored to see who had to make dinner and who got to come up here and wake you up. She won."

I arched an eyebrow. "SHE won?"

Adrienne nodded with a smile. "She won, but told me to go ahead and come up here anyway. That girl is something special, Tiger."

I sighed and smiled. "I know."

While we were getting dressed, I asked Adrienne if she thought dinner would be ready and she guessed it would probably be another ten minutes based on how long we'd been fucking. Though physically wiped out after having sex, I was mentally charged up to start tackling my issues head-on. Figuring I could invite Andie over for dinner and give us a chance to talk, I retrieved my phone and held down her speed-dial number while kicking back to watch Adrienne try to button up the front of her red dress.

Andie picked up on the second ring. She seemed excited to hear from me, as she was pretty giggly on the phone. We exchanged quick pleasantries before I got down to business and asked, "Hey, do you think you could come by the house tonight? My family is all gone, Sasha's making dinner, and I'd like to catch up."

Andie's giggles picked up a notch but she managed to explain, "I'm WAY ahead of you. Come on downstairs."

It took me half a second to figure out what she meant. "You're already here?"

"I'm in the kitchen helping Sasha finish dinner. Oh, but before I hang up, Sasha wants to know if Adrienne managed to get your equipment working."

I chuckled and blushed, my pink color prompting Adrienne to look up and ask, "What?"

"The girls want to know if you, quote, 'got my equipment working'."

"Gimme the phone," she said, snapping her fingers and holding out her hand. Bemused, I gave it to her, and she smirked and explained into the microphone, "He's nowhere near 'Big Ben' levels, but he's fully functional!"

I couldn't hear Andie's response, but the way Adrienne's grin split her face was enough to get the gist of what was being said. Moments later, Adrienne told her we'd be right down, hung up, and handed the phone back to me.

The whole exchange had been relaxed and merry, which did a lot to put my mind at ease. I'd spent precious little time with Andie since the Cinco de Mayo party and everything that came afterward. Given Sasha's complaints about feeling like an outsider these past few days, I knew Andie had to be feeling the same. I'd been worried that she was saddened by her exclusion, but to hear her acting so giggly and ... well... normal ... was quite a relief.

The good mood carried on through dinner. Adrienne and I arrived downstairs to find that not only had Andie come over, but Kirstie and Jamie as well. Nobody made mention of the shooting or my injuries, and the five ladies nattered on about classes and gossip and Finals as if it were any other school day. We enjoyed our food, we enjoyed each other's company, and by the time the meal was over I figured we all just might be able to pick up right where we'd left off.

Which is why it was such a shock when Andie put her napkin down on the table, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "I'm breaking up with you."

Looking around the table, I saw that my jaw was not the only one hanging open. Sasha was the first to recover, giving Andie a concerned look and reaching over to rub the back of her friend's hand.

Kirstie's mouth flapped open and closed a couple of times before she frowned and asked, "Now?"

Jamie sighed and patted Andie's shoulder, asking, "Are you sure you want to do this now?"

Andie gave me a grimly determined look, but a moment later she let her shoulders slump and bowed her head for a moment while closing her eyes as her resolve seemed to crumble. "No, I'm not sure," she replied before picking her head up and giving me a determined look once again. "Not sure, but I'm still going to do it."

Sighing in resignation, I nodded and agreed, "It's better this way, isn't it?"

"Of course," Andie muttered bitterly and shook her head. "You're not even upset about it."

I grimaced and sighed, "I can't say the thought hadn't already crossed my mind, especially in the last few days."

She nodded. "Me, too. But even though we seem to be in mutual agreement, do you mind if we go someplace a little more private?"

I glanced around the table and Adrienne reached for my plate. "You two go on ahead. We'll take care of the cleanup," she offered.

I smiled my thanks and backed my chair up. I'd taken another dose of painkillers with the meal, so didn't feel too bad. Andie got up as well, and after giving me a look to make sure I'd follow, she headed for the stairs.

I followed her into my bedroom, and she stood just inside the door until I'd closed it. But instead of walking over to the sitting area, Andie raised her right hand and swiftly slapped me across the cheek.

"Oww!" I exclaimed, more surprised than hurt as I raised a hand to cover myself. Andie's eyes hardened as she slapped me three more times in quick succession, but I blocked each one with my forearm before she huffed and marched over to the armchairs. Crossing her arms over her chest, she dropped heavily into one of the chairs and glowered at the far wall.

"What the hell was that for?" I complained, letting go of my cheek and staring at my palm for a moment.

"For lying to me last Saturday," Andie growled. "You told me you and Adrienne 'had to take care of something'. You told me it was 'nothing for me to worry about'. And then you never came home."

I winced and started walking toward her. "I know. I'm sorry. Obviously, I had no idea how things were going to turn out. I just didn't want you to worry."

"You obviously were worried enough about your health and safety to LIE to me. That means you knew you were walking into a dangerous situation, but you lied to me anyways. And that reminds me." Andie paused to stand up once more, and she started slapping me again while I warded off each blow with my forearms.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed again.

Andie stopped almost as soon as she started, and as she slumped back down onto her chair, Andie growled at the far wall, "Sasha told me to do that to you when I saw you again. For breaking a promise."

"A promise?" I wondered, not remembering.

"You promised to save a load for me. We were supposed to have sex when you got back! Clearly, that never happened."

I winced.

"Don't you know better than to make promises you can't keep?"

I sighed. "I honestly didn't believe there was any chance I wouldn't be able to come home and have sex."

"But you knew you were going into a dangerous situation. And you deliberately hid that from me."

"Of course I did. If I didn't hide it, what would you have done while I was gone?"

Andie frowned. "I'd have worried about what was going on."

"Exactly."

"Well at least that way I'd have been in the same boat Sasha was: here in the house, worried sick about you and Adrienne, knowing that you'd walked into a meth house full of drug dealers. Do you have ANY idea how hard that was for her? All alone and not able to tell anyone where you'd gone?"

"No, I don't." I sighed and sat down in the chair opposite her while miming over the upper-right side of my bald head. "Clearly not one of my better decisions."

Andie sighed and shook her head. "I came by the house just like I said I would. I found Sasha on pins and needles about to lose her mind with anxiety. Adrienne had been texting her to let her know things were alright, but then the texts had stopped and Sasha was just about ready to drive out to find you, damn the consequences. I asked her what was going on, and she spilled the beans immediately. And you know what? I wasn't even worried about you. Not one bit. There's only ONE emotion I felt when she told me."

I took the bait and asked, "What's that?"

"Betrayed."

"Andie..."

"I gave my heart and soul to you. I poured out every emotion I felt in my body and what do I get in return? Lies. Lies about where you're at. Lies about who you're with. If you can lie to me about that, what ELSE have you lied to me about?"

"I never lied to you about anything before."

"I want to believe that, but how can I really know?"

"Because I'm telling you I never did. If I wanted to lie about something to take advantage of you, you already know what the best lie would have been."

Andie glowered at me for a moment before deflating in her chair. Rather sullenly, she muttered, "You'd have lied that you loved me."

I nodded slowly. "I never wanted to hurt you. Things would have been a lot easier for us if I could've returned the same depth of feelings you had for me. There were a lot of times I wished I felt the same way. It's not that I don't care about you; you know I do. I've always been fond of you, from the first time I noticed how you and Jamie kept coming over more often than the others. You're my cutie, and you always worked so hard to make me happy there was no way I couldn't appreciate it. But ... but..."

"But you never loved me."

I spread my hands out and shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry."

Andie looked ready to spit, but instead she simply stood up and walked away in disgust. "Not like I didn't know already," she muttered without turning back to face me.

On instinct, I went after her. Reaching forward, I slid my hands onto her shoulders and moved to hug her from behind, but she pushed my hands off and spun around.

"No, don't," she protested, holding her palm out to me.

Holding my hands up defensively, I backed up a pace. "I'm sorry."

She blinked twice and pursed her lips, and a second later she shook her head and muttered, "Nevermind." And then I found my arms full of girl as she threw herself into my chest and hugged me fiercely.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, bending down and kissing the crown of her head. "I never meant for things to end this way."

"There were only two other ways it could've ended," she mumbled into my chest. "Either you actually fell in love with me, or you broke my heart and everything ended in tears. I was kinda hoping for the former, but it's never gonna happen, so I figured I should quit before it ended in the latter."

I looked down, saw that despite her words tears were coming from her eyes anyway. And with a mournful sigh, I reached up to brush one away with my thumb. "Looks like you're crying anyways."

Andie raised both hands to cover her face and then pushed her head into my chest again, trying to stifle the tears. But when I bear-hugged her and lifted her into my lap while sitting down on the edge of my bed, the waterworks opened up and she let the flood go.

She'd come to me in righteous indignation and a determination to see this conversation through, but having said her piece and received my acknowledgement that things were over, the sadness appeared to finally be hitting her. Andie had always been a passionate person who wore her heart on her sleeve. She'd been a bubbly, energetic firecracker when I'd first met her as a Tri-Delt Pledge, and nearly three years later she still wasn't the type to keep her emotions in check. And it was those emotions that were taking over now.

We were embraced in what could have been considered a very intimate position, even though we were both fully-clothed. Andie straddled my lap with her legs crossed behind my back. Her face was pressed into the crook of my neck while she wrapped both arms around my head and shoulders. And she sobbed her pretty little heart out at the death of what she'd hoped would've become a long-lived and loving relationship.

I don't know how long she cried on my shoulder, but I kept murmuring "I'm sorry" and kept stroking her body all throughout. Eventually, her tears began to dry up as her immediate grief passed, and I relaxed the tension in my back as she sat up a little straighter to support her own weight.

Bleary-eyed, Andie pulled her head back and gave me a curious look. I had no warning before her face darted forward and she sealed her lips over mine. The next thing I knew I was flat on my back across my bed, my legs dangling off the edge and giving me no leverage to resist as Andie's tongue delved within the depths of my mouth. I resisted, knowing I shouldn't lead her on, and Andie whimpered in anguish and only tried to kiss me even harder.

But at last she pulled her mouth away, the tears coming back into her eyes as she pressed her forehead against mine and began to sob once more. There were tears in my eyes as well now, and I realized I was definitely going to miss her. But I knew better in both my heart and my head than to reconsider ending a relationship that would only hurt Andie more in the end.

I knew I hadn't been fair to her, taking and taking without ever giving enough back. I'd told her point blank that I didn't think I could ever feel the same way about her as she felt about me. Yeah, I'd let her talk me into not pushing her away only a week ago, but I'd spent too many years being in similar relationships to not realize that in the end the girl ALWAYS wanted more and ALWAYS got hurt. And while the timing of breaking up with her two days before Finals wasn't ideal, she had to have realized she'd be better off moving on from me once school was out.

"I love you," Andie sniveled, her nose clogged and her voice cracking.

"I'm sorry," I replied in a mournful tone.

With that, Andie suddenly dismounted the bed and paced two steps away before turning and coming back to the tissue box on the nightstand. She dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose while I sat up. And tossing the wadded tissues into the trash can with all the velocity of an NFL quarterback, she fixed me with a disappointed but not accusing look and said, "I saw the writing on the wall when you didn't call me and realized that I'm just not all that important to you."

"You ARE important to me," I protested. "It's just--"

"I'm not trying to say you don't care about me," she cut me off. "I know you do, and we've had a whole lot of fun together. It's easy to have fun when everything's going well. But it's how a relationship handles adversity that defines it, and you just proved that we don't handle it well together."

"Don't say that. We've handled our share of adversity together. We did great with each other, both when things were going well and when things weren't going so very well."

"You mean me dropping to my knees and giving you blowjobs whenever you felt down and depressed. That's not US handling adversity. That's ME making YOU feel better."

"We've never HAD real adversity then, not in the way you mean. Really, when have you and I ever had a fight in our relationship? A real fight."

"We haven't, and that's kind of the point. Everything's been fun and games between us, but nothing deep. Your life has been full of turmoil, but you never try to really SHARE that with me."

"How can I when your first thought is to drop to your knees rather than TALK to me about my troubles?"

"So you're saying it's MY fault I never got included in those meaningful conversations? The ones you felt perfectly comfortable having with Adrienne and Sasha?"

"I'm not trying to assign fault; it just happened that way, that's all. It was the nature of our relationship."

"All sex and fluff. Convenient. But ultimately not that important. When your life got turned upside-down – shot in the head and hospitalized – you brought the most important people in your life to your side. But I didn't even merit a phone call. I'm not that important."

I deflated a bit and muttered, "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. If it makes any difference, I haven't called anybody; my phone call to you before dinner was my very first one. And it's not that I went out of my way to avoid you. I've just been surrounded by family and--"

"That's just the point," she interrupted again. "Sasha said it best when we were all at the hospital: 'We're NOT family, and we're not even girlfriends.' Neither of us had any idea what to do. And even after you came home, it was clear that you never really... needed me."

"It's not that. It's ... it's..." This time I trailed off on my own.

"It's that you never really needed me," she repeated with popped eyebrows. "Sure, it was great to have me around whenever you felt lonely. I was convenient, I was willing, and I never asked for much in return. Just another harem girl."

"Don't say that. You KNOW you were special to me ... ARE still special to me."

"And I loved that," she sighed. "Loved that even with all the hot chicks literally throwing themselves at you, walking into a house with a fucking SIGN posted by the front door stating that you had the right to seize and inseminate them, that you kept choosing to be with me. You're Big Ben, the Sex God. And you spending all that time with me, letting me spend all those nights in your bed, well it made me feel ... feel..."

"Special?"

"Pretty. Sexy. Desirable. Even though I'm really not."

"Good freaking lord, Andie. Are you kidding me? If you're fishing for a compliment, then you've got one. You ARE pretty. You ARE sexy. And you are very, VERY desirable."

"I'm not tall and willowy. I'm not busty and curvaceous. I'm ... cute."

"You're YOU. And if you seriously have this much of a self-esteem problem, then you need to get this straight: Yes, I had literally dozens of girls throwing themselves at me, but I DID keep choosing to spend all those nights with you."

"Because you like my 'personality'."

"Because of the whole package. Because of everything about you, including an amazingly wonderful personality. And even because of this annoying obsession you have with your cup size as if it were the sole reason why we're in this situation right now. It's all a part of what makes Andie, Andie. You're my cutie: a beautiful young woman who deserves better than 'tagging along' with a guy who hasn't given enough back to her."

"Because you've got better girls to be with than me, and short of falling in love with me on the spot, you're not going to convince me otherwise. Yes, you made me feel special, and I really appreciated that. But at the end of the day, I'm not a requirement for your life to go on. Adrienne's back with you. Sasha ... well you've told her you love her. I'm sure you were really glad I gave you so much attention when you wanted it, but you don't NEED me anymore. Not when you have them."

I took a deep breath, but couldn't find the words to respond. She was right: I didn't need her anymore. Of course I'd still like to have her, but I didn't need her. We both knew it. So all I could say was, "I'm sorry. But it's better this way. Better that you find someone who DOES need you. You've got a heckuva lot to offer, and there are a lot of guys would be LUCKY to be with you."

"But not you."

I shrugged. "Even me. I'm lucky we were together then, and even though my heart never quite touched yours the way you might have wanted, I'd honestly love it if I could keep you."

"You can, you know. Just say the word and we won't break up." Andie blinked at me, her eyes full of hope and longing. She WANTED me to say the word, even though she knew better.

Even though -I- knew better. I took a deep breath and said once more, "I'm sorry."

Andie smirked suddenly and paced away. Folding her arms across her chest, she sighed and came back to me, shaking her head and muttering, "We weren't even TOGETHER, and yet we still have to have a break-up."

"That's because we WERE together. All the talk about commitments and everyone in the harem being equal and favorites and all that is bullshit. The truth is: you and Sasha were my girlfriends, period. I'm sorry if you're only getting the title retroactively, but it's the truth. I cared about you. I spent so much of my life with you. We were connected, we were intimate, and we shared with each other. I had my demons and I said over and over again that we were just friends enjoying each other's company, but THAT was all a lie. You proved yourself as my girlfriend, in love and in action. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget YOU. And when I look back on my life fifty years from now, I'll think about how lucky I was to have Andie Holland as my girlfriend to brighten my days during a really rough time in my life."

Andie blinked in shock, and the blinked a few more times. I took a deep breath, waiting to see how she'd react, and then all of a sudden I was flat on my back with a tongue in my mouth and my arms full of horny girl.

"Andie! Andie! Andie!" I exclaimed, repeatedly breaking our liplock to try and get control of her until she finally picked her head up and stared down at me with wild eyes.

"Let's not break up just yet, okay? How about if we wait until you graduate, just like we sorta always talked about. Fuck, Ben. You just called me your GIRLFRIEND. How can I not enjoy that for the next week and a half? Huh? How can I live with myself going through Finals and not having you near me? Please? We'll still break up and we'll still move on with our own lives, but not YET. Not NOW!"

I was tempted. Oh, I was tempted. But I was also exhausted, on painkillers, and only days removed from my skull being exposed by a bullet wound. And I knew I had to stop letting her talk me into these kinds of reprieves. Already she'd talked me into keeping her since LAST Wednesday, and now I was back at square one feeling like shit as I agonized over the anguish of dealing with the same conversation.

"Andie ... I'm sorry," I sighed, reaching up and stroking her cheeks. "We can't keep doing this. Last week we talked and didn't break up, and now here we are back at the exact same place. If we don't do it now, we're just going to have to deal with this exact same pain again."

Andie screwed her face up and whimpered, and she pecked my lips twice more while holding onto my jaw before waggling her head left and right in indecision. Her head probably knew I was right, but her heart (and her body) didn't want to give up just yet.

"Okay fine then, we're breaking up," she agreed even though her aggressive tone and the fire in her eyes belied the words she'd spoken. "But not until we walk out of this room. Not until I've had you one more time – at least ONE time together as your girlfriend. Because that's the way I love you. And because you still owe me! You promised to save a load for me for when you got back from Carter's. Well, honey, you're back now. And I want my load!"

I groaned. "I wish I could. But I'm tired and in terrible physical condition and I'm honestly not sure I can perform, especially since Adrienne dragged a load out of me before dinner. Certainly I can't be as good as you're used to, and honestly the whole break-up mood is a little weird."

Andie smirked as she gazed down at me, her old fun-loving passion and lust burning in her eyes. "You let me worry about the mood."

I could hear Andie's cunt squish as she took the first step down the stairs beside me. She heard it too, and for a moment our eyes met and we both smirked at the same time. I decided to commit to memory the feeling of my cock firing my load almost eight inches deep into her pussy while she writhed on top of me, her cute face contorted in ultimate ecstasy. And while I was lost in my ruminations she leaned over and pecked me.

Pecked my cheek, that is. We'd stepped outside of my bedroom, and by agreement we'd broken up. Even though I knew it was my own damn fault for not figuring out a way to love her back the way she deserved, I was still sad about it, and it showed on my face.

Andie recognized it and sadness came into her eyes as well. Reaching up to stroke my upper arm, she asked, "You gonna be okay?"

I suddenly stood up straight and shook my head. "Aren't -I- supposed to be asking YOU that question? You're always thinking of me first. Always. I don't deserve you. That's why this is for the best."

She sighed. "I know, I know."

Now it was my turn to be concerned. "So ARE you going to be okay? Finals are in two days and all, and I never meant to cause you this kind of turmoil right at a critical time."

"I'll be fine. If anything, this one last fuck gives me closure and resolution. Now I can focus on my studies without worrying about will you or won't you break up with me after graduation. It's done. It's over. I'm moving on."

I nodded. "I'm glad."

"You take care of yourself, Ben."

I reached out and hugged her one more time, saying, "I hope you find everything you've ever dreamed of, cutie."

She patted my back, released the hug, and smirked up at me. "Yeah, me too."

-- THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2006, FINALS BREAK --

When I opened my eyes, my vision was filled with light. The curtains were fully closed, but even still the sun had risen high enough to backlight every window with enough intensity to illuminate my entire bedroom and cast it in a dreamy soft glow.

I lay flat on my back, each arm wrapped around the slumbering body of a beautiful young woman. Adrienne's head was pillowed on my left shoulder just beyond my chin so that the merest tilt of my head allowed me to rub my cheek into her golden blonde hair. Sasha was a little lower down, her head atop my chest, rising and falling gently with my every breath. While Adrienne reclined alongside me, Sasha had an arm and leg draped over my body. Her right hand actually rested on Adrienne's hip, and her right leg was wrapped around mine.

This early, and with my brain still sluggishly stirring to life, I felt at peace for the first time since before the Cinco de Mayo party. My only thoughts were of these two great loves in my life, of the feel of their warm bodies surrounding mine, and of the intimacy we'd formed together as a trio.

We weren't a "triple", at least not officially. If you asked any one of us about the nature of our relationships with each other, we'd all reply the same: Sasha and I were boyfriend/girlfriend, and Adrienne was my adoptive sister. But mere titles failed to accurately describe what we meant to each other, and even though all three of us had our own individual bedrooms within this house, I couldn't imagine spending another night without both of them sleeping beside me.

Our collective relationship wasn't just about me and each girl, either. Sasha and Adrienne were forming a bond of their own, and while I wouldn't say that they "loved" each other in the romantic way Sasha and I loved each other, or even in the sibling way Adrienne and I loved each other, they were still becoming quite close. The first time they'd met had been in January, and the very next day they had very enthusiastic sex with each other on camera. The next time Adrienne visited, in February, Sasha had been strangely quiet and detached. Looking back, I wondered if Sasha felt threatened by Adrienne's closeness to me right when she and I were developing our own intimacy, and one might've thought that could lead to jealousy now that Adrienne had seemingly come back for good right when Sasha and I were now making our relationship official.

But Sasha continued to surprise me with her lack of envy. If anything, she'd embraced Adrienne's presence in our lives, and I'd come to realize the two of them had spent more time with each other than anyone else since Adrienne's return, me included. The night I'd spent with the Holland sisters, the two of them had been together, both talking and making love. They weren't girlfriends, and they weren't siblings, but they'd certainly become friends: special friends.

Both girls were gorgeous people, both inside and out. Both girls were craaaazy in the sack, with aggressive sex drives and an apparent need to get plowed on a regular basis. And they both loved me.

Damn I'm a lucky sonovabitch.

Speaking of getting plowed, I realized while stroking Sasha's back that she and I hadn't made love since before that fateful visit to Carter's. Big Ben had only been fully-functional since yesterday afternoon, but while I'd had sex twice they had been with Adrienne and Andie. According to Adrienne, she and Sasha had rock-paper-scissored for the right to come up and get my equipment operational, but while Sasha had won she'd deferred on Adrienne's behalf. Selflessness like that deserved a reward, and it wasn't egotistical of me to believe that she'd like no better reward than to finally feel Big Ben throbbing eight inches deep inside her body; it was the truth.

And thankfully, this morning Big Ben appeared up to the challenge.

There had been no sex last night. I was still in enough pain to not be getting my usual restful sleep, and it was late in the evening when I stood in the front doorway and tiredly waved goodbye to the last of my departing friends. Andie and I had returned downstairs to find a few more Tri-Delts in my living room than just Jamie and Kirstie. Though most of them had already come by to visit on Tuesday after I got home from the hospital, they were taking the time to see me again and I definitely appreciated it. There were the usual teasing comments about the noises Andie and I had made upstairs, especially since Jamie and Kirstie had told them Andie and I were supposed to be "breaking up". But thankfully the girls respected our wishes to let things go, and we chatted amiably until Jocelyn finally announced that they should all get out of my hair and let me rest.

Usually a shower would wake me up, but I was tired enough last night to take my various medications and pass out almost immediately after cleaning up. But after a better night's sleep than before, not to mention waking up with such fine specimens of femininity cuddled up against me, I felt much refreshed and very much in the mood for expressing the intimacy of my heart with these women I loved.

Trapped as I was beneath the girls, I wouldn't be able to move without disturbing their slumber. I pondered that little conundrum for a bit before considering the option of letting them sleep as long as they needed. But that consideration only lasted for about a minute as my bored brain and morning erection both decided they were too impatient for that.

Still, I did my best to slide Adrienne off my shoulder without waking her. I raised my left arm as high as I could before lifting it into the air and twisting my torso away from her. Her head fell a few inches down onto the pillow, and I held my breath to see if she'd wake, but after a couple of lip smacks and mumbles she snuggled her cheek into the fabric a few times before rolling over completely, turning her back to me and settling back down into her slumber.

With a smile, I turned my attention to Sasha. Twisting my torso had angled my chest so that her head had slid off it as well, although she more or less had rolled onto her back and remained unconscious. No doubt the girls had stayed up relatively late to chat before joining me in bed (or were engaging in other activities before bed), which might explain why they'd both slept in later than me. Again, I considered that I really should let them both sleep. But then again, the girls had certainly woken ME up in this fashion a number of times already, so I didn't feel TOO bad about sliding myself beneath the covers, crawling in between Sasha's spread legs, and inching myself into proper cunnilingus position.

The little minx wasn't wearing any panties beneath the baggy T-shirt she'd worn to bed. Quite often Sasha dressed in full pajamas when she slept, which included long pants. But I'd lucked out this morning, and when I swiped my tongue through her already moist labia, I got the distinct impression that my assumption of hers and Adrienne's late evening activities had been spot on.

Sasha had stirred when I swiped my tongue through her labia, but she woke up fully with a gasp when I stiffened my oral appendage and shoved it as deep as I could inside her. Her squeal of surprise and pleasure reminded me that I should do this more often, not only to her but also to any of my other bed partners. Certainly I deserved a little payback for all the times they'd woken me in such a manner.

Her thighs snapped shut around my ears like a Venus fly trap, and one hand slammed down on the top of my head to shove me even deeper into her crotch. Once she realized it was me, she threw her head back against the pillow, moaning, "Oh, Ben! Oh, eat me, boyfriend!" And I ceased to feel any guilt whatsoever for waking her up a little early.

Surprisingly, Adrienne remained asleep. Guess she and Sasha had really wiped each other out last night. But even after Sasha cried out in orgasm while I gnawed on her clit, shoved two fingers into her cunt, and even buzzed a finger over her anus, Adrienne slumbered on.

When she came down from that first peak, Sasha's fingers tightened against my scalp. If I'd had any hair left, I was sure she'd be tugging it out by the roots. Her other hand reached for my shoulders, similarly tugging upwards, and she moaned, "Get up here. Don't make me wait any longer to feel you inside me."

I grinned and was just about to do as she asked, but a moment later a flash of shooting pain shot through my skull and I cried out unexpectedly. Sasha's hand immediately jerked away from the piece of gauze taped over my stitches, and she sat up in horror as she realized what she'd accidentally done.

"Ohmigawd! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine, it's fine," I reassured her despite grimacing from the aftershocks of sensation throbbing against the upper-right side of my head. "I'm alright. I'm alright."

"I completely forgot. I just felt bald head and had the sudden urge to rub it and-- MMph!"

I cut off any further protests by sealing my lips over hers. Sasha's eyes flew open, and at first she didn't kiss me back. But I settled my weight over her and tilted my head, putting more pressure and passion into our liplock until she finally relaxed and returned my kiss.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, Sasha hummed as she poured all her love for me into our embrace. My tongue parted her lips and she welcomed it inside. Moments later, my cockhead parted her other set of lips, and she welcomed THAT inside as well. And we both moaned at the sensations of my thick column of meat slowly filling her up.

At full depth, I broke for air, panting and grinning as I looked down at her.

She grinned right back at me, and giggled when I flexed my PC muscles to make my cock twitch inside her. And with fluttering eyelids, my gorgeous dark-haired beauty murmured softly, "I love you so much. Even after everything that's happened, all the drama and nervousness and anguish you've put me through to finally get to this point, especially in the last few days, I'm so happy to finally be with you. I wouldn't give it up for the world."

Tenderly, I pecked her on the nose and slowly rotated my hips counterclockwise, carving my shaft along the walls of her constricting tunnel to stretch her out a bit in preparation for our lovemaking. And with a warm smile I replied, "I love you, too."

Adrienne's head suddenly dropped onto the pillow right beside Sasha's, and she grinned over at both of us. "Me, too!"

Sasha giggled, turned her face, and kissed Adrienne full on the lips. Then she turned and kissed me on the lips, and then it was my turn to kiss Adrienne. And as I pulled my hips back and started pumping into her, Sasha reached out with one hand to caress Adrienne's face, looked up at me, and sighed dreamily, "Gawd I love my life."

Although present when Sasha and I were first getting started, Adrienne had left us alone to go make breakfast, commenting to Sasha, "I'd rock-paper-scissors you for it but I think it's a little late for that." When Sasha and I were finished, we headed downstairs to find Adrienne setting the table with one hand and fiddling with her phone with the other.

"Gotta work today?" I asked, gesturing at the phone.

Adrienne blinked at me and muttered, "What? Oh, no. I told you, I'd already warned them that this week wouldn't be good for me after my boyfriend got hospitalized on Saturday."

"'Boyfriend'?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

Adrienne blinked again and blushed with a smile. "Oh, well, hope you don't mind the title. Actually, hope YOU don't mind," she corrected while glancing at Sasha. "Easiest explanation instead of getting into the whole adoptive brother thing, which certainly isn't widely known, especially since I'm not actually legally adopted or anything like that. 'Boyfriend' makes for a better excuse than 'friend' to bail at the last minute on a modeling gig, and until I can find another closet gay guy to be my 'beard', you're it."

"I'm good with it," Sasha replied with a shrug.

"Okay, whatever," I shrugged as well while muttering, "One more thing coming true from my little coma dream."

Adrienne grinned. "That's actually why I thought of it. Made perfect sense."

"So who was on the phone?" I asked, gesturing at the phone as I sat down at a chair.

"Waitaminute, 'coma dream'?" Sasha asked at the same time, remaining standing.

"Uh, that was Brooke," Adrienne replied to me. "She just texted me to make sure everyone's okay and asked whether or not she should drop by. Didn't know if we had other plans."

"Tell her we're fine, but that she should stay with her friends," I said. "We're going out today."

Still standing, Sasha repeated questioningly, "'Coma dream'? That's the second time you guys mentioned it."

I turned to her, shrugging and saying, "It's a little complicated."

Adrienne snorted as she sat down as well. "No it's not. After Ben got shot, he went unconscious and dreamed up about four months of aftermath during which he lived his life and all sorts of things happened for all of us, but in the end he woke up on the floor of Carter's bedroom with Amber and me trying to save his life. None of it ever happened. Just a figment of his imagination."

I waggled my head and looked at Sasha. "Okay, more or less it isn't all that complicated."

Sasha raised her eyebrows and leaned over the back of a chair, both hands resting on the top of the backrest. "But you remember everything that happened in that dream?"

I nodded slowly, and Adrienne replied, "Pretty vividly, from what he described to me."

"And stuff from this dream is coming true?"

Adrienne and I exchanged a look, and with furrowed eyebrows and a frown I explained, "It's not like I could see the future or anything, and like she said, it was all a figment of my imagination. But in my dream, I imagined Adrienne making me her public boyfriend – not in practice, just for the media."

"I see..." Sasha mused with a furrowed brow as she stepped around and sat down in a chair beside me. "So what else did you dream about?"

Adrienne and I exchanged another look. Although I remembered pretty much everything, and I'd shared every detail with Adrienne, I wasn't so ready to reveal all of that to Sasha. But I couldn't clam up about it either, so after taking a deep breath, I explained carefully, "I dreamed about everything. There wasn't any one specific thing I focused on. I woke up from a medically-induced coma more than a week after getting shot, and I lived every minute of my life until the end of September. And then suddenly I woke up on the floor in Carter's bedroom and realized that none of it had been real."

"But you still remember."

I nodded slowly.

Sasha whistled. "Wow ... that's pretty amazing."

I nodded again.

"And stuff from your dream is coming true?" she repeated.

My hands immediately went up. "It's not like that. There's nothing mystical or magical, and I already said I couldn't see the future or anything. In fact, the vast majority of my dream has already proven to be NOT true."

"Like what?"

I sighed. "Well for starters, in my dream Cameron and Elyse both lived. Wish-fulfillment, huh?"

Sasha's face soured and she looked down at the table. But after taking a deep breath, she collected herself and looked over at me. "So what happened to everyone else in your dream?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Uh, for the most part I'd rather not say. In hindsight, it was pretty much a bunch of too-good-to-be-true outcomes and male fantasy hooey. My professors just handed me my degree without me having to take any Finals. Adrienne bought us a house literally across the street so I could still be near to everyone. Kim resumed our old relationship and convinced her Dad to let her move in with me without me really having to do much. Pretty much the best possible outcomes for me in a lot of different ways."

"Your perfect Hollywood ending. Happily Ever After."

I smirked. "More or less."

Sasha arched an eyebrow. "So where was I in this wonderful tableau?"

Adrienne and I exchanged another look. "Uh ... well..." I began, not sure how much of it I wanted to tell.

"What, afraid I won't like the answer?"

I blinked, and with a wince I began, "Well, kinda. First, the whole thing was just a dream. None of it has any true bearing on the way I feel about you."

"Ben..." Adrienne warned, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, that was like the worst possible thing you could have said just there."

I blinked in surprise, and Sasha gave both of us an expectant look.

Adrienne smirked and explained, "You and him were still together, if that's what you're wondering about. Even in his dream, you were still together. That's the important thing."

"But that's not everything, is it?"

Adrienne sighed and looked back over at me, gesturing for me to go ahead and take over again.

I shrugged. "You and I didn't get married in two weeks and ride off into the sunset. Sorry if that bursts your bubble."

Sasha chuckled and shook her head. "Uh, no that's alright. We both have always said we were taking our time with this relationship."

"Are you sure you want me to into detail about this?"

"I'm curious. Like it or not, a 'perfect ending' fantasy dream DOES reflect on the way you feel about me. But I'll tell you right now that I'm not holding you to some kind of romantic 'for the rest of our lives' commitment in reality, let alone in a fantasy dream. Knowing the way you think, I'd figure your fantasy dream would conjure you trying to marry ALL of us."

Adrienne giggled, "You're not far off."

I sighed. "You really won't hold this against me?"

Sasha shrugged. "I can't make any promises. Everything you say to me for the rest of our lives will impact and color the way we feel about each other. But I genuinely don't think I'll hold a wish-fulfillment fantasy against you. I'll even tell you some of the dreams I've had about you that might not put our relationship in the best light, if it'll make you feel better."

"Hmm, interesting..." Adrienne mused aloud.

I sighed, "Well then, for starters, even though Adrienne was right about us being together, we weren't 'together-together'."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning romantically." I popped my eyebrows and shrugged apologetically. "Actually, you'd started dating Andie."

Sasha grinned in surprise. "Andie?"

"Yup. Part of my whole harem wish-fulfillment thing, actually. That house across the street Adrienne bought? It was the four of us living in it together."

"So what, you were with Adrienne? The whole 'public boyfriend' thing?"

I shook my head. "Uh, no. That was just for the media."

"But did you have another girlfriend?"

I shot a look at Adrienne, who shrugged back at me. "Uh, well..."

"What's wrong? Don't want to tell me you weren't dating me, but you were dating someone else?"

I sighed. "More that I'd rather not mention anyone else. I'll tell you what happened to you in my dream, but I don't think it's fair to discuss the fantasy fates of another girl, even if it's directly related to me. Remember, none of this was real anyway"

"It was Dawn, wasn't it?"

I shot another glance at Adrienne, and again she shrugged and gestured me on. "Well it's kinda--"

"Complicated," Sasha finished for me with a shrug. "Don't worry, I'm not upset. She's been a big part of your life for a long time, and this whole year it's been impossible not to notice how her absence has made an impact on you. I know the biggest reason why you've been so hesitant to start a relationship with me is because you're still suffering the aftereffects of that break-up. And it's not surprising that reconciling with her would be a big part of your subconscious psyche."

"It was, but no, I wasn't dating Dawn. And even if I was, the fantasy has no bearing on REALITY. None of it means I'm not serious about pursuing this new relationship with you."

"I know that. I'm just trying to tell you that I understand. Even now, I'll have a fleeting thought about Rod and his family accepting me for who I really am, but that doesn't mean I'm not committed to moving forward with you. And really, those fleeting thoughts are more because I miss his family, and I miss feeling like I'm a part of that family, than me missing Rod himself, unfortunately for him."

"But you could imagine some scenario where you and him would never have broken up, would have gotten married and had a family with the picket fence and all that?"

She shrugged. "I feel like my life would have certainly been less complicated that way, sure."

I sighed. "I was dating DJ, in my dream. Wishful thinking on top of regret. I didn't go back in time, but she offered to re-start the relationship we'd lost and have another baby with me. Now I don't want you to think if DJ came back and actually offered that I'd break up with you for her, because I wouldn't."

Sasha's eyebrows went up, her eyes twinkling as she asked, "You sure about that?"

"I've chosen to be with you, but even besides that, there's a lot of pain for me and DJ to overcome. The abortion and break-up left some pretty deep scars, and unless we find some way to get over those, I think that actually resuming our old relationship would be impossible whether I was with you or not."

"I suppose."

"It was just a fantasy, one of overcoming regrets and a child I lost to abortion. There was nothing NEW about my dream world, it was all about re-capturing the past. Here, in reality, I'm focused on the future. I meant what I said when I told you I was looking forward to discovering together the mysteries of what our relationship can become."

Sasha nodded. "I get it, I get it. Thank you for being so open with me. We're communicating with each other, right? But you don't have to worry about me overthinking your subconscious musings and holding you accountable for wishful thoughts. Everyone has them, and I choose to invest myself in your actions more than your dreams. If you say you're committed to me, I'll believe you."

"Thank you."

"Now as for me dating Andie in your dream, again I'm not gonna hold you accountable for that, but I still want you to explain that one."

I smirked. "Uh, not sure if I can explain any of it. Wish-fulfillment, right? Even though I was dating DJ, I wanted to keep you with me, and indeed you ended up living in my household. Even though you were dating Andie, I was still fucking both of you, and I didn't have to share either of you with any other guys."

"But you could have dreamed us both just being your girlfriends in addition to DJ. Instead, you envisioned us being with each other."

I shrugged. "You like girls. In fact, you like girls a lot, don't you?"

Sasha blushed. "Well ... yeah..."

"I'm not going to ask for an exact number, but after everything you've told me about hooking up with the various strippers at Nocturne, plus all the Tri-Delts ... well you've had sex with a lot more different girls than guys."

"So that makes me a lesbian?"

"Of course not, especially after what we just did a few minutes ago. But can you blame my subconscious for considering the possibility that you might end up dating another girl?"

She shrugged. "I suppose. But I still want to date YOU."

"I know, I know. Still, you've shown a remarkable lack of jealousy for the other women in my life. That night we went dancing, and Andie showed up, I honestly worried about how you might react and whether you'd want Andie to step back from us."

"Andie's my friend."

"MORE than just a friend. She's special to you, and you went out of your way to make her a part of our lives even though you could have kept me for yourself. I guess that said something to me, said something about how much you cared about her. And in my dream I guess I just carried that through into a romantic relationship. Like I said: figment of my imagination. I was dying, I was losing blood, and I was delirious. None of it has any bearing on reality."

Sasha slid her hand over to my leg, and she rubbed it firmly. "Well let me tell you something that DOES have a bearing on reality: As much as I love having sex with girls – and to be honest, the thought of trying a romantic relationship with one DOES actually hold some appeal – I'm in love with YOU. Being with you – being around you – has completely changed my life. I wouldn't be where I am, and I wouldn't be WHO I am today, if it wasn't for your influence. And I thank you so much for that."

She leaned over and kissed me, and I finally started to relax from the nervousness that had been buzzing around the back of my head ever since she'd started asking me to explain the details of my dream.

Eventually, we separated and turned to find Adrienne grinning at us proudly. But just as I was about to dig into the breakfast that was getting cold in front of me, Sasha spoke up once more.

"Hey Ben? Just one thing."

"What's that?" I asked as I turned and looked over at her.

Eyes on her plate, Sasha took a deep breath and stated quietly, "If Dawn – or DJ – ever come back to you, just ... don't hide them from me, okay? I'm not asking you to promise you'd pick me over either of them or anything like that. Just be honest with me."

"Sasha..." I sighed, reaching over and rubbing her leg the way she'd done to me. "Dawn, DJ, and I are just friends now. Yes, they'll both always be important parts of my life, but--"

"Stop," she cut me off. "It's okay, you don't have to explain. I promised I wouldn't hold them against you, and I won't. But I've never lied to you, and I don't want to start now. Like I said: IF one of them ever comes back ... not as a friend, but as something more ... just ... be honest. We'll go from there. That's all I ask."

I took a deep breath, thought about it, and realized there wasn't much else I could say. So I took her hand, squeezed it reassuringly, and replied, "Fair enough."

The three of us managed to finish breakfast, and Adrienne remembered that she hadn't texted Brooke back yet. While she finally did so, I told Sasha and Adrienne that I had to go make a phone call. I was only too aware that I hadn't seen or heard from Amber yet, and I wanted to find out why.

For some reason, I didn't think she'd answer her phone. After all, if she had the time to answer my call, surely she would have used that time to call ME first, right? I was the one hospitalized and bed-ridden. Doesn't that put the onus on the "friend" to initiate contact and ask how I was doing? Since she hadn't, I could only imagine that she was either too busy with something to make that phone call, let alone visit in person, or she was completely incapacitated in a way that made me worry I should ask Kady to go next door and make sure her neighbor's body wasn't slowly decaying inside the next apartment.

But Amber picked up on the second ring, saying immediately, "Hey, now's not really a good time. I'm on my way into class."

"Um, 'hello' to you, too," I muttered in surprise. "Should I call back when it's more convenient and you can find a little time to fit an old friend who was recently released from the hospital into your terribly busy schedule?"

"Ben, stop whining. It's not becoming." I could hear her condescending facial expression through the phone.

"Fine," I whined petulantly.

"I'll be free at noon. Well, sorta. I promised Lynne I'd have lunch with her and the girls. Actually, maybe that's not such a good idea. There are things we have to talk about, and it's better they're done in person." She sighed wearily. "I just don't think I'll be able to get out to Berkeley today. I've got a jam-packed schedule this afternoon, and I've got to pull an all-night shift at the hospital tonight. And--"

"Hey, what if I come join you guys for lunch?" I interrupted. "Or even this afternoon? It sounds like you wouldn't have time to make a trip here and back with your schedule, but maybe if you've got thirty minutes in the middle somewhere, you can squeeze me in? Like you said, there're things we need to talk about."

"Um, yeah. That sounds great. Lunch would be good. I'm sure the girls would love to see you after everything that's happened; Lynne says only she and Paige made it out to your house. And after lunch we'll have a little time to chat before I have to get back on-campus."

"Okay then. Noon, right?"

"Right." Amber sighed again, but this time there was a note of relief in her voice. "You really called at the perfect time, you know that? Any earlier and I wouldn't have been able to deal with you. Must've been Destiny telling you to hold off on calling me until right this very second."

"Um, okay..."

"I'll explain when I see you. Gotta go!"

I started to say "bye", but the triple-tone told me she'd already hung up.

Adrienne arched an eyebrow. "Sounds like we're having lunch at Stanford?"

I blinked and shrugged. "Yeah, sounds like. But we gotta make one stop first. And then I've got to make a call."

"Hey there, stranger!" Lynne exclaimed in surprise as she hopped out from the doorway and gave me a firm hug. "What the hell are YOU doing here?"

"Amber didn't tell you? She told us to meet her here for lunch."

Lynne pulled back but kept her arms around me and shook her head as she looked up at me. "She's not here yet, and she didn't mention a thing. You know YOU could have called or texted or something."

I blushed and stammered an embarrassed, "Oops."

"Still, it's great to see you upright and ambulatory."

"Feels good to be upright and ambulatory," I replied while releasing her. "Not a hundred percent yet, but I'm getting there."

"That's great." Lynne smiled and turned her attention to my companion. "Good to see you again so soon, A.D. I was starting to get used to going ... well, years ... between sightings. You're almost as elusive as the Loch Ness monster."

"Loch Ness monster?" Adrienne laughed, mixed perplexion and amusement on her face.

"Well, you're certainly as infamous, at least with this crowd," Lynne commented while jerking a thumb back inside. "Some lesbians can be real model-haters, but with you being an out of the closet bisexual, plus having gone to high school with me and Kady, you're like--"

"Ohmigawd! It's Adrienne!" Butch Ricki Carlisle popped through the doorway with her hands on her cheeks and a gaping expression of disbelief on her face. "I'm like your biggest fan!"

"Oh, wow. It's really her!" Ricki's girlfriend Emily Walsh drawled in amazement right behind Ricki.

"Holy cow! It's Adrienne!" Noelle Ronet enthused from behind them.

"Really? You too?" Noelle's girlfriend Kady Jacobsen groaned derisively from behind Noelle.

Bert Kim popped his head around the doorway. "Best you two get inside before they cause a scene."

I popped my eyebrows to see my best buddy here, but then I shouldn't have been surprised. It was a day off from school after all, and if he wasn't in Berkeley with me, where else would he be?

Ricki, Emily, and Noelle rushed out and more or less dragged Adrienne inside the apartment in their enthusiasm. Lynne and Kady rolled their eyes at me and followed. And that left just me and Bert on the front stoop.

"So where's Sasha?" Bert asked with a shrug.

"Stayed in the house," I replied. "Invited the Tri-Delts to come study with her. Made sure I knew she was inviting her 'girlfriend', too."

"Girlfriend?" Bert asked me in confusion.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Inside joke. Nevermind."

"Uh, sure." He turned and looked inside the apartment to where the girls had surrounded Adrienne, peppering her with questions and basically going all fangirl on her. "Not quite the welcome you might have expected, having survived death and all."

I waved him off. "Better this way. I'd like nothing better than to forget it ever happened and just move on."

"I couldn't agree more," Amber suddenly said from behind me.

Bert and I turned to find the gorgeous blonde slightly out of breath, dressed in stylish but comfortable clothes suitable for a college classroom and wearing a single-strap side bag that apparently contained her books. "Hey, long time no see..." I drawled.

Amber rolled her eyes and gave me that condescending glare she'd perfected. "Don't whine. I'm here. And there's a lot we've got to talk about.