CHAPTER TWENTY – A long route…

It`s Sunday. I leave the house before noon, just like any other weekday.... Quietly slipping past the body of my slumbering old-man.

The rain last night entered the house, but the ground is already dry. Today`s weather is nice.

"Well then... what should I do...?"

"Should I go to Sunohara`s place?" Eventually, it`s the usual pattern as always...

As I made a side glance at the dormitory, I stopped for some reason. It`s finally a day off and that would be too boring. If so... how about going to school instead? I can spend my time inside an empty classroom if I slip inside the school. 

"Although it wouldn`t be different from what I always do..." Realizing this now for the first time made me smile bitterly. I started climbing the empty slope.

The school was not as peaceful as I thought. Apparently, there seems to be some people that have club activities, even on Sundays. I can hear the wind ensemble practicing the same phrase over and over. The door that leads to the shoe locker is open. I walk into the hallway. The atmosphere is quite different from when having class. The only people in the building right now are probably members of the culture club. I doubt that anybody I know would be here.

"Tomoya-kun, good afternoon."

"......" Somebody I know appeared and she`s holding a bag.

"?"

"Are you some kind of a youkai (ghost) living in this school?"

"??" She tilts her head. It seems she thought of something.

"Do you have some busi..."

"You don`t need to say anymore." The joke is so lame, I stop her early.

"......" She looks at me unsatisfied.

"I was just going to simplify `Go-you desu ka?` into `You-kai?` so that it puns with `youkai (ghost)`... It`s a very clever..."

"It`s not clever or anything else."

"Is it above average?"

"To be honest, it`s ridi~~~~~~culously lame."

"...... You really are a bully..."

"I already said that you`re wrong!" Before a minute has passed into our conversation, I was already under her spell .What kind of spell it was or what she was aiming for is beyond me. 

"Anyway... let`s get back on topic. Do you know what day is today?"

"Sunday."

"Are you in some kind of club?"

"No..."

"Don`t you think there`s a problem when such a person comes here?"

"?" She ponders for a while.

"Ah, I see..." She then points at me and says: "There would be a problem if that person is not wearing a uniform."

"I see... sorry about that."

"Geh! It`s not about me! It`s about you!"

"???" She is extremely surprised. She looks at me and compares herself to me.

"Could it be that we`re wearing new uniforms, starting today?" She helplessly asked me.

"I didn`t know anything about it at all..." Hey, I don`t know anything about it either.

"What should I do..."

"Sigh..."A flustered girl and a sighing me.

"Anyway... we`re not going to change uniforms, so don`t worry."

"I`m glad... This uniform is my favorite. Especially, the pattern in the sleeve is wonderful."

"Really? That`s good."

"Yup, it`s good."

"And also, since today is a weekend, nobody complains about people wearing normal clothes."

"I see..." It seems she finally understands.

"So, you`re going to the library, aren`t you?"

"Yup." She walks at the hallway as she answers.

"Let`s go!"

"......" Since she`s already with me, I might as well keep her company. I walk next to her. Her bag, which is probably full of books, looks quite heavy.

"I`ll carry it for you."

"??"

"Your bag. What I mean is, I`ll carry your bag up to the library for you."

"Ah... well..."

"Here, give it to me." She hesitated a little, and then handed me the bag. The moment I receive it, my arm tenses with strength.

"... just how many books are in here?"

"There are nine today." She carelessly replies.

"They`re all wonderful books." We continue walking in the quiet hallway. As the door to the library became visible, I remembered something crucial.

"... isn`t the library closed on Sundays?" Even if the management doesn`t care on weekdays, surely it would be different on a weekend. There should be a responsible teacher that makes sure it is locked.

"Yup, it is closed."

"Well then, how the hell do we get in?!"

"Here, with this." She took something out of her skirt pocket. I took it and looked at it. It was a key. It was tied with a string and attached to it was a plastic note saying "Library Door Key."

"This is exclusively for use for Kotomi-chan." No matter how I look, it looks like the key is officially from the school, but not exclusive for Kotomi-chan. She turned the plastic note around. And there written on the other side was a big `Kotomi` in black ink.

"... you wrote this yourself, didn`t you?"

"Yup."

"......" If possible, I would like to pretend I`ve never seen it. But, if I don`t at least ask, it may become a problem later.

"How did you get this?"

"I was borrowing the key day after day from the librarian teacher so she gave it to me as a present. And that`s not all. Because I was really, really enthusiastic, they made me a Honorary Librarian."... wasn`t it because you were really, really depressing that it became tiresome to deal with you? Anyway, it wasn`t obtained illegally so it should be fine.

"I`m very skillful. Cleaning everyday, arranging the books, and also..."

"... anyway, I`m unlocking the door now." It feels like listening to her will take sometime so I decide to quickly go inside. As I was looking for the keyhole. I notice that there is an open gap between the door. By placing my hand on the door, it easily opens. I look at her.

"Though I`m an Honorary Librarian, I tend to forget locking the door."

"......" She was definitely an unskillful worker.

"The truth is, I don`t really like to lock the door that much..." ... well, it`s really not a problem of liking or disliking. If I think about it, she`s probably the reason why students can come here even during lessons.

"That`s because your head is filled with books, right?" Tap, tap, tap ...She disappeared from my side and immediately went inside.

"... not even listening." I`m already used to this so I follow her.

"Whew..." She stops beside a bookshelf, then made a sigh of relief. She then turned towards me.

"Even today, I am surrounded by books, so I`m happy. Please wait a little bit, Tomoya-kun." She ran towards the librarian seat. She took out a mop and started sweeping the floor. I sat at a nearby chair and put the bag and key on the table. I look at the key`s name tag one more time. "Kotomi" Her handwriting was very thin and round, like a child`s. I look outside the window as I survey the surroundings. The weather is so nice that yesterday`s rain looked like it was just a lie. The bright light softens through the curtain and shines on the wooden floor. She mops upon that floor repeatedly.

"What were you doing throughout this morning?"

"Some things when I was at home." She replies as she continues to mop the floor. Does she mean housework? She makes her own lunch so she may very well do work at the house.

"I see. That sure is difficult..."

"Yup."

"Don`t you ever hang out with anyone?"

"Yup..." Perhaps because she was immersing herself into sweeping, she half-heartedly answers. She is carefully mopping the floor, wider than the time before. I was spaced out, watching her. Eventually, she finally finishes cleaning. She puts back the mop to its place and returns with a cushion in exchange. She takes her books out of the bag on the table. She stacks the books one by one and places them on the floor. She then dusts off her favorite cushion and puts it in floor in the middle.

"Umph... umph." She took off one of her socks while standing.

"Wah...!" She hops around as though she`s going to fall down.

"Whew... umph..." Somehow or another, she manages to take it off safely. Her preparations are now complete.... hey, what am I staring at? Didn`t I plan to waste my time inside an empty room somewhere? Besides, aren`t I only a nuisance here?

"......" A strange sensation started rising up from me. I feel a mixture of nostalgia and guilt going through my head. I`ve felt this same feeling before at some time. I`m sure it was when... I realize that she is looking at me. The wooden floor is blazing with sunlight. Why is it? That I`m thinking I shouldn`t be here?

"Hey... is it all right for me to be here?"

"???" She`s filled with big question marks.

"Well...Well... This is a library, so any student of this school can freely come in here." She smiles at me. It`s supposed to be closed right now, moreover, it`s a holiday today and also... there are mountains of tsukkomi I could do but that`s not really the problem.

"Though I`m an Honorary Librarian,"

"Well... I already heard that."

"??"

"Anyway... how do I say this..." She looks at me with a serious face and for some reason it made me confused.

"Like, do I really need to come here? And like before, I only came here to receive your boxed lunch."

"Ah... Well... I`m sorry... I didn`t bring any boxed lunch today."

"No... it`s not that I`m hungry or anything..."

"I see..." She looks relieved but at the same time unsatisfied. Anyway... the topic is some what sliding off. 

"Listen carefully all right? Then give me an answer."

"Yup."

"Well... to make it short... Are you happy that I am here?" I realized that I asked her something absurd in desperation.

"Yup." She nods as if it`s pretty obvious.

"I`m really, really happy." And then, her usual gentle smile.

"All right then." After all that... I`ll stay here. Even if she said so... I don`t know if I`ll be of use in here.

"Well..."

"What is it this time?"

"Won`t you read some books, Tomoya-kun?"

"That`s right..." I`m free after all, so it`s not a bad idea to do something different.

"Can you recommend something to me?" Her face suddenly brightens after I said that.

"If that`s the case..." She picked up the books one by one.

"Which do you like? English or French?"

"Don`t decide what other people would want to read by your criteria."

"??"

"Please give me those normal ones."

"Would a translated book be fine?"

"Yeah." I immediately answer.

"If that`s the case..." She picks up one book.

"Then, I recommend this to you."

"What kind of book is this?"

"You can call it a summary... It is a book that has been verified from the standpoint of quantum mechanics theory, it is about how human awareness is not algorithmic, in that it cannot be replaced by a computer."

"I have absolutely no idea what you`re talking about..."

"It`s really exciting. You can feel your blood boiling and your flesh shivering when you read this."

"......" There are also things I don`t understand about myself either.

"That`s not it, don`t you have a much more normal novel with a normal story or something?"

"Normal novel?" She tilts her head upwards as if indicating that she`s thinking.

"For example, those best seller books you come across from time to time."

"Well..." She handed me a book with a black cover this time. I can feel that this one is a best seller.

"This isn`t exactly a novel, but... It`s a best seller in some countries."

"Wouldn`t this one be hard to read?"

"No... that`s not true. Kids, adults, everyone reads it."

"Looks quite thick."

"There`s plenty of stories inside. My favorite story is `Noah`s Ark.`"

"......" I look closely at the title and written there was "Old Testament." 

"A~men." I politely cited it and placed the book on the desk.

"By the way, are you Christian?"

"And also... there`s a Koran here... It`s a best seller in some countries. This one is the Ramayana. It`s a best seller in some countries. They`re all very, very wonderful books."

"......" A personal religious war.

"Do you read anything without a care in the world?"

"Yup." She answered that without any single hesitation. Is this proof that she genuinely likes reading?

"Don`t you have any much thinner books that a guy like me can read?"

"If that`s the case..." She looks at me.

"Well..." She ponders for a while.

"........." She`s in deep thought as she look at me.

"............"

".................."

"Well......" It seems she finally have something in mind.

"There might be nothing that you can read right now..." ... a very heartless reply, thank you very much.

"I get it, I`ll go search for something I`d like to read."

"I`ll help you..."

"It`s all right." I stop her from following me with my palm. If she was to choose what I would read, I think my brain would probably evaporate in an instant.

"You just read your books, I don`t want to bother you."

"Okay, I understand..." Leaving her to that place, I entered the ravine of the bookshelves. It`s dark because the fluorescent lamp is off, and it feels cool. The books are packed together from left to right. I don`t have any idea how it is arranged. I walk around a narrow path. I found the shelf where novels are stored, then I pulled one from the shelf. I started skimming through it from the back cover. It`s a book written by a foreign writer for children, and it`s about war. Well... I guess this one should be fine. Kotomi was already immersing herself to reading as I went back to my chair. I feel quite relieved so I opened the front cover of the book I chose.

"......" Three minutes have passed. It seems like a very formal philosophy book, the words used are old too. I don`t think any person would be excited reading this kind of book. I wonder if reading too many tragic and murder case books will change you to a much more developed person.

I think of those things as I make a big yawn. I close my eyes. I felt the soft light touching my eyelids. And I was immediately struck by sleepiness. My ears are all clear. And all I can here was the page she was flipping. It makes me feel like I`m in a sandy beach listening to the ocean waves... 

Somebody seems to be putting out some fire. It just continues to eat everything in its surroundings no matter how much water was put in it. The orange flame sways around. And someone`s crying over there. Some adults have finally come and immediately put out the fire. And there, protected by someone`s back was someone crying. Covering her face with her small palm, all she did was cry.

"......" I woke up. I realized that I was dreaming. I don`t quite remember it though. It left a little feeling of regret in the depths of my head. It might be because I was spending my Sunday afternoon doing nothing but sleep. It`s about time I go home... I stand up and look around. It was evening. The library`s wall, floor, and even every corner is covered in golden light. And inside that world, is her, reading some book. It doesn`t seem that she notices me and keeps on flipping the page.

"I`m about to go home now." No reply.

"Hey, Kotomi." No reply, just as I thought. If it comes to this... I have to resort to my last card.

"Kotomi...... chan." Her hand stops from flipping the page. She raises her head and slowly look towards me.

"Tomoya...... kun." We look at each other as if there`s no meaning to it. It was quite embarrassing.

"We have to go home now..."

"Eh? Well..." It seems she`s finally back to reality. She then looks at the wall clock.

"It`s still quite all right, I think."

"Wouldn`t your family members worry?"

"Well..." She hasn`t completely replied yet, I guess she`s still not done reading. But I just can`t leave a girl like her to a such unpopular place like this.

"Why don`t you continue reading tomorrow?" It seems she finally have a reply as I said that.

"Yup, I`ll do that..." She then closes her book and stands up. I stand still on corner of the street. Both of us kept silent as we leave the library up until coming here. But I didn`t feel bad about that. The evening breeze blows up through the mountain. It was quite cold if you compare it to afternoon breeze. Her child-like hair ornaments is fluttering around. Suddenly, I drop my gaze. At the two shadow on the road just up ahead.

"Which way are you heading?"

"???"

"I`m asking which direction are you going home. Anyway, I`m going this way."

"I`m going this way." She points at the opposite direction. There are few cars running around the street so I think she`ll be fine.

"Well then, take care. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Kotomi." I raise my hand and wave lightly at her, then I start walking. Kotomi was just standing still. Holding on to her bag with nine books stuffed in it, staring straight at me.

"What is it?"

"Nothing..."

"I`ll be waiting tomorrow. And I`ll bring you some boxed lunch."

"Yeah, I understand." That`s what I answered.

"I`ll be looking forward to it, all right?" She smiles shyly as we bathe inside the sunset`s glow. Then, she starts walking. She walks alone in a quick pace and her back immediately becomes smaller. This was just like yesterday evening, when she was going home with an umbrella in her hand. Perhaps, she won`t stop by to any place and will go straight home.

"I wonder if she really doesn`t have any friends." I shake my head as I mutter it to myself. Doing an investigation isn`t my hobby. I stretch out my left hand towards the vast evening sky. Tomorrow is another school day... For some reason, I remembered that girl I met at the foot of the hill. That female student who`s goal is the drama club.

"To begin with... That club is no longer active..." I only heard it once from someone when they were having a childish gossip about it. But even still, I wonder if she will do it alone... Something flashed in my mind as I think of that.I try to rethink my conversation with Kotomi.

"If I remember correctly, she told me that she hasn`t joined any clubs..." That put a smile on my face for some reason. I`ll talk to her first before I go to the library.

"That means... I`ll attend school tomorrow..." My usual habit somehow depresses me.

"Well then..."I made a light stretch, and started walking as well.