I closed my eyes tightly in the hope that he was simply a dream, like always.
When I peeked at him opening only one eye and keeping one eye close, I saw him looking at me with an expression that I can only decipher as amazement.
When I finally accepted that he was standing in front of me really, I opened my both eyes to look at him properly.
The first thought that came to my mind was ' How handsome my Ame has become!' Yeah! I know I am a fool like always.
I looked at him with a long look of adoration and longing. And that small mole peeking under his chin adorably, I looked at it with nostalgia.
He cleared his throat to stop me from looking at him creepily. I took that as a cue to look at his eyes again.
I knew that eyes don't grow, they remain the same throughout human life. But, I don't know why his eyes looked hypnotizing a dose extra than normal. Before I could lose in them, I saw a movement above his eyes. He raised his right eyebrow almost as a question.
"Samuel!" I called him with a tone of vulnerability. I am supposed to look strong when I meet him. But this is nowhere like I have imagined. Yes! I have imagined meeting him again about a million times.
I didn't expect an answer. I didn't expect him to hug me in the name of recognition. But What he asked me was the last thing I have expected. Hell, I couldn't imagine it in these five years. I wouldn't expect those words even if I was given thousands of lives. I wouldn't expect them not even as the last thing in the world.
"Who are you? Do I know you? How do you know my name?" Was the words that came out of his words that uncontrollably brought a tear from my eyes. But the recognition I saw in his eyes moments ago was not my imagination. It surely was there. But He doesn't get anything by lying to me. Maybe, he has really forgotten me. And I was really a fool all these years to suffer on him.
The man who I haven't spent a second without remembering
Forgotten me.
The man whose eyes invaded my dreams even today
Forgotten me.
The man whose body, face, the scent I have fought with myself miserably to forget
Forgotten me.
While I failed again and again to forget him, He doesn't even bother to remember me even as a nuisance, a gold digger, or even as a homewrecker.
Tears threatened to tear my eyes if I don't allow them to descend. Hell, they were pouring even before I realized it.
I quickly remembered my place and moved my hands away from his neck. I moved back leaving a stranger's distance.
I hastily arranged the papers in my hands. In the process, I even began to drop it. But before he could help me, I caught them and shoved them in my hands softly.
I painfully wiped my eyes with a big lump in my throat.
"Sorry, Mr. Samuel Foster. It's probably due to the wind." I referred to the tears in my eyes while wiping them aggressively as if I can make them disappear.
I looked at the heartless creature in front of me directly in his eyes like I am searching for his soul. I have been really searching for his soul all these years. But I can't find it despite my desperation.
I failed. I really did.
The man named Samuel who was also my Ame looked at me shocked suddenly. Like he was out of words.
And what caused it was my smile. My eye-blinding smile.
Yes, I smiled not fakely. But genuinely, because my Ame lived these years without remembering me that means he lived happily without a care in this world. Nothing to pity. Nothing to be guilty of. Nothing to hurt. With his Amelia, his girlfriend...No! His soon-to-be wife.
But after seeing my smile, his demeanor completely changed. Like he was defeated. Like his plans have failed.
I mean moments ago when I am in the middle of my weeping show, he was looking satisfied. Rather proud of something. But now my smile confused him.
It could be because of how my mood changed rapidly. But my intuition told me that it's not the only reason. Maybe, he remembers me and tries to hurt me again.
Whatever I don't care about either. I mean him remembering me was not going to do any good to me. Rather, it will harm me more.
Whatever he decides to do was his own wish and decision. And I am purely guessing now.
"Mr. Samuel Foster, Who wouldn't know you? You are a very famous businessman in both media and this industry. And I know it because I am a small business owner who I am sure would not be known by you. Moreover, I am Emily's best friend. So, I heard about you. By the way, Do you at least know Emily? The soon-to-be bride." I raised my eyebrows, folding my arms in front of my chest mocking him with a well noticeable smirk.
Before he could answer me, I again continued to shock him more.
"And I am Calla Mason, CEO of CA industries which I am sure you have heard about if you have the habit of reading the newspaper at least once a month." I introduced myself smirking, looking straight into his eyes while remembering the painful words he said years ago.
"A poor middle-class idiot dreaming about marrying a king. Hahaha! Isn't it funny? It's exactly you. You can't even afford to buy clothes worn by a queen. So, How dare you dream to become a queen? You dare to replace my Amelia's Place."
I think I have given myself respect its justice by my introduction.
His shocked face seemed to fall into a pool of shock. I mean how can anyone look so shocked?
Then I realized, Who wouldn't? I mean it's literally the same reaction everyone gives when I introduced myself any day. So, I am not really surprised.
I realized that he was dumb enough to not know me when he said that he didn't know me. His habit really doesn't change. He was not fond of newspapers even in the college. But, he would have watched the news at least once these five years. Right?
I guess he must have thought that Calla was someone and definitely not me. Because that was his level of thinking when it comes to me.
When he was about to open his mouth, still not recovering from that shock, I again intentionally cut off him.
"Mr. Samuel Foster, I am a busy woman. I invested my time in this event. So, I have to make full use of it. I can't waste it on a random person who I don't even know" I said with my head held high with pride when my heart clenched with pain when lied that I don't know my Ame. It's him I know more than anyone even more than myself.
Without even waiting for his reaction to my blunt ignorance, I walked to Emily's car and took my handbag.
I walked past him without even glancing at his side.
On my way to Emily, all my thoughts were about one thing. Pain.
Yes, the pain in my heart, mind, and soul I felt when I thought about how he looked at me like I am a stranger to him when he said that he don't know me.
I felt like my heart was crushed under his Gucci shoes.
Indeed, he crushed.
He asked me if he knew me.
But he didn't ask me this question when he hurt me, insulted me and broken me completely.
He didn't ask me this question when he broke me like I am some toy to him.
He asked me cruelly without an ounce of sympathy how I knew his name.
When since the moment his eyes met mine, all my heart does is chant his name as it's heartbeat.
When I named my favorite things his name
When I loved his name so much that I taste it on my tongue at least once a day even when he was not there to hear it.
When his name was everything I want, everything I need.
When his name was the source of my love, he dared to ask how I knew it.
When that name bears the man of my dreams
When that name bears the man of my love
My Ame.