Am I Not Good Enough?

Gabby arrived in San Antonio around 4 in the afternoon. He dropped by the town to get some food and thought of bringing some for Helena. She looked at the Map again a hundred times as it was her only source of info about the woods where Helena was.

Just before she reignited the engine, her phone rang. It was Arthur calling. "Hello, Arthur; I'm here in San Antonio now. How are you in the City?"

"Managing things, it will get better soon enough. Also, I made sure nobody wanted to harm Helena anymore. That's the first thing I did here."

"Thank you for doing that. You truly care about my best friend's welfare. Now, I'm heading to the woods to find the campsite you made. Hopefully, I'll get there before it gets dark."

"You keep safe, Gabby. Remember to get away from the traps I made. It's in the Map I sent you."

"Yes, I'm looking at it, trying to find the right path. So, Arthur, I'll have to go."

"Sure. And please take care of Helena while I'm not in San Antonio. In the meantime, I'm trying to stop myself from contacting her," his voice broke. "It wouldn't be good for both of us. We need to clear our minds, and most of all, I need to take things in control before finally getting back to her and gaining her full trust."

"I understand, Arthur. I'll try to help Helena understand things and accompany her while she's alone in San Antonio."

As Gabby drove towards the woods, he couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. The dense trees looming over her car seemed to be closing in, and the rustling of leaves sounded like whispers in his ear. However, he pushed these thoughts aside and focused on finding Helena.

After an hour of driving, Gabby finally spotted tents in the distance without any lights. It was getting darker, and only her car's lights clearly saw the way and the tents. She was careful in driving, taking Arthur's advice about the traps he made.

As she got closer, excitement and relief flooded through her. Before alighting the car, She got everything she needed, including the food.

"Ellen?" Gabby called out her best friend's name but no answer. She continued calling her name until she reached the tent. She was holding a flashlight and stumbled upon the dirty table; cups, coffee, and sugar had scattered. She was alarmed and called Helena's name again, her heart racing with fear. Suddenly, she heard a faint groan from one of the tents.

Gabby hurried over and found Helena lying on the sleeping bag with only her panties on. "Oh my god, Helena, what happened?" Gabby asked, her voice shaking with worry.

Helena weakly opened her eyes and looked at Gabby. "Gabby! You made it," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Gabby could see the pain in Helena's eyes and knew she had to act fast. "Let me help you," she helped her get up. "What's wrong? Why are you so weak?"

"I haven't eaten since yesterday. I lost my appetite I found out about Arthur's hidden identity. And this morning, when I read his letter, I broke down," she said, her voice weak.

"Ellen, why did you do this to yourself?" She quickly assessed the situation and promptly boiled water to make hot drinks. As Gabby prepared the drinks, her hands were shaking. She never thought it would lead to something like this.

"Here, drink this," Gabby said as she handed Helena the hot drink she had made. "It will help you feel better."

Helena took a sip and sighed in relief as the warmth spread through her body. "Thank you, Gabby," she said softly. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"It's okay," Gabby said, sitting beside her friend. "But we need to talk about this. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

Helena looked down at her lap, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know," she whispered. "But it's hard. I feel like I'm never good enough. Like I don't deserve the love of other people. Gabby, you are the only person who truly loves me."

"Don't say that. Ellen, you know that's not true. There are people who love and care for you, including me. You are more than good enough, and you deserve all the love and happiness in the world," Gabby said, placing a comforting hand on Helena's shoulder.

Helena leaned into Gabby's touch, feeling a sense of comfort and safety. "Thank you, Gabby," she whispered. "I just feel so lost," she cried softly.

Gabby hugged her tightly. "I know, but we'll get through this together. We'll figure things out and make a plan. You are not alone, Ellen. I am here for you. You are my best friend for life. Remember?"

"Yes," she nodded.

Gabby couldn't help but notice how different Helena looked. Her hair was disheveled. Then, he realized just how devastated she was after Arthur left.

They sat there in silence for a while, just holding each other. Gabby knew this was just the beginning of a long journey to help her friend find her way back to herself, but she was willing to do anything to help Ellen.

Later, Gabby cleaned up the mess at the table and prepared the food he bought in town.

"Arthur called me when I arrived in town. He was worried about you," Gabby said, helping Helena with her food.

"I don't know if I could ever trust him again," Helena confessed to Gabby with a shaky voice. "And it seems we're not really good for each other."

Gabby nodded her understanding and offered her friend a consoling pat on the shoulder. "I understand how you feel," she said kindly.

"I can't believe I let this happen to me again. It always seems to happen! What is wrong with me? Why do I make the same mistakes over and over? I should have known better than this after what happened with Israel."

"No, Ellen. You mustn't blame yourself; it's not your fault. These things happen sometimes; you can do nothing about it. Your relationship with Israel was real and true, just like Arthur, and that is all that matters. You are strong and resilient; you will pull through this too."

Tears welled in Helena's eyes as she opened up about the doubts eating away at her since Arthur's departure. She spilled about the fear of not being enough and the overwhelming sadness that had taken over her.

Gabby listened patiently, nodding and affirming Helena's feelings with empathetic words. She also made a mental note to seek professional help for Helena as soon as possible.

After finishing their meal, Gabby noticed that Helena was starting to doze off. "You need to rest," she said, guiding her friend to her sleeping bag.

"I'll be here if you need anything," Gabby promised softly.