Things you didn’t know you wanted to know

Burt

I wish I could take it back

If only I could take it back...

~

"CUT!"

The music stopped and I waited for further instructions. I couldn't wait to get out of this scene to continue my conversation with Mark.

"Can we go to your next section? I don't want to lose this momentum..."

"Uh sure," I said. "Still sitting here?"

"If you like," Luke shrugged, like he doesn't really care. I found this guy amusing. He's been doing everything in one take, as if being an indie filmmaker had trained him to get all the shots he wanted as quickly as possible to cut costs. I approve of this work ethic. The faster this shoot ends and I can get home and sleep, the better. Also, Mark's not done telling me about Jamie and Steve.

"Music, cue ... and ACTION!"

I knew that I took you for granted

But the thought of you not being beside me...

I listened to the rest of it, wondering what it really would be like for your world to fall apart.

"CUT!" Luke barked then complained to me. "What was that?"

I blinked. "What was what?"

"Why didn't you sing the whole verse?"

"Because I only sing half the verse," I explained. "LJ sings the second half."

Luke frowned for a minute. "Ah, that's why this part sounds familiar. But LJ sang your part too."

"You can use that if you want to," I shrugged. Luke studied me for a while. I know that look, it's how people look at me when they're trying to decide if I'm pulling their leg.

"We'll see," he said finally. "So, as I've been doing for everyone else, I'm going to play the song till the end and you just sing over your parts and ad libs, is that good?"

I nodded. "All good."

—

So suddenly in one afternoon, I found out so much about these people whom I considered my best friends that I never knew before. Well, I knew Mark talked a lot, but not that when he was angry, he can tell you everything you wanted to know and things you didn't know you wanted to know.

"I thought Jamie was in love with him," I said to Mark and he gaped at me.

"You're shitting me, right? Jamie's hornier for girls than a hedgehog."

I remembered that time I walked in on Steve and Jamie, and Jamie was crying, and they jumped a meter apart as I entered the room. Usually, when you walk in on a couple and they do that, it's because they've got their hands in each other's clothes. So, I thought, okay, from now on I must remember to knock first. I just assumed. I never asked.

This makes me feel crummy actually. Jamie is one of my best friends in the world and he knows me better than anyone, maybe except Michelle. And suddenly, everything I thought I knew about him was wrong and only because I didn't care enough to know.

I knew that we all wanted to have sex with Antonia. I still dream about it, sometimes.

I looked around the room and noted Michelle wasn't in there with us. I know I didn't say that out loud, but shit.

"If you thought Jamie was gay, what did you think of his obsession with Antonia?" Mark frowned at me.

"It's easy to be obsessed with Antonia," I snorted. It also didn't seem to me that Jamie was really in love with Antonia, it was more like he was a big fanboy than anything else. And then he never showed interest in other people and I always thought that if you look up the word "asexual" in the dictionary, there would be Jamie's face. "Does LJ know all this?"

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. Before now, I never talked about these things with anybody."

Lia opened the dressing room door and found us inside. I jumped and felt a little relieved that it wasn't Michelle. Then, Michelle walked through the open door and headed for her make up bag and a shiver of guilt ran down my spine.

"You're filming group scenes in ten minutes," Lia said and shut the door behind her.

Mark got up and adjusted his clothes while Michelle turned to us. "Just a little powder to minimize shine?" she asked us.

"Wow, Michelle, so pro," Mark teased. She giggled as she brushed up Mark's face and turned to me. Her eyes widened.

"Why are you so red?" she exclaimed.

"Am I?" I feigned surprise. "Maybe I'm allergic to lunch."

She raised an eyebrow at me and brushed up my face. There is a danger of bringing your wife to your place of work, I have to acknowledge.