63 So Beautiful

Mark

"I'm doing a rap album?!" Whoa, guys, this is awesome! Nobody from any boyband has ever done a straight up solo rap album before, this is beyond cool.

"No, Marky, sorry," Antonia said, touching my elbow as if to console me. "Steve and I did think of that but we decided hip hop really wasn't your thing and we didn't want gangs cornering you on some dark street to beat you up."

"You've got to be kidding me," I frowned.

"Are you always this blunt?" Jamie suddenly said to her, his arms crossed in front of his chest, looking like he was reconsidering his love for her.

"Yeah, we kinda agreed we wouldn't tell him that," Steve snorted. He looked at me, his face looking to pacify me. "Marko, that's not even why. We thought a rap album would be too obvious because you're our rapper. I wanted to challenge you. So you're singing."

"Well, obviously," I said, more gruffly than I intended, but then, I was really pissed. "Even if it was a rap album, I was sure I'd be singing somehow."

But Steve wasn't listening to me. "Tone, what was that thing the guys thought Burt was going to do? What did you call it?"

"The obvious ballads?"

"Yeah, the obvious ballads!" Steve looked at me. "Your album will be the obvious ballads."

My heart stopped in my chest. All my life in Boy Next Door, I was never allowed to be the balladeer. I was the rapper, the dancer, the actor, the poster boy. The sex symbol. Everyone had to look like Girl's parents will let her go out with them, except me. I didn't even need to sing. And now they want to give me ballads?

"Not the eunuch ballads, because those are mine," Burt said, patting my shoulder. I think I probably look like I was about to throw up.

"You want to fight me for Jamie's dance album?" LJ held his fist out for rock paper scissors. Jamie put his hand on LJ's face and pushed him away.

Steve suddenly played a new track. It had a piano intro like most of the others, but this sounded like those songs you would hear at a tiny jazz bar. Oh shit, did he want me to sing jazz?

"Don't look away," Steve's soft, almost breathy voice beseeched Girl. He wasn't doing his usual voice acrobatics, and yet his tone was so warm and mesmerising.

I want you to keep looking at me

It's a staring game

When I lock your eyes to mine

"I can't do this," I said, my heart banging hard on my chest. "I'll never sound like that."

"My voice teacher will train you," Antonia said. "I've already spoken to her. She's going to make your voice stronger."

"And Antonia's paying for it," Steve added.

"Is it a jazz album?" I asked nervously, as I listened to the chorus.

My love, can you see yourself in my eyes?

So beautiful...

"I get it!" Missy suddenly clapped her hands. "Marky will be singing love songs!"

"Don't we all sing love songs?" LJ was thoroughly confused.

"We all sing about love," Jamie interjected while everyone was thinking of how to explain it. Even me. "But when you think 'love song,' you immediately think of that one song that describes how you feel about the love of your life. Because you've discovered she's the one.

"Not sad songs about changing for each other and then saying things that hurt each other on purpose. Or sad songs where you're wailing about how you can't breathe without her," Jamie took a deep breath. "Not songs asking her not to hide her naked body from you because she knows it's real. Not songs about wanting to take her slowly."

"Oh, I thought that was really romantic, though," Missy suddenly said. Jamie chuckled at that.

"But you guys know what I mean?" Jamie asked. "Songs like Everything You Are."

"Songs like By Your Side," Burt agreed.

"Songs like Song 6," LJ said.

We all looked at him and simultaneously said, "No."

"Songs like Girl," I smiled. Then, I panicked. "I can't do this," I shook my head.