CIRCLES

KIERAN

I met Ava during sophomore year. Apparently, she'd been so enraptured by my looks. During sophomore year, I would come to school wearing hoodies all the time. I hid my identity because I didn't want the attention. The whole school had known me as the poor fatherless kid who wore hoodies most of the time. Then, I didn't mind. They could call me any name they wanted and I would suck it up. It wasn't a big deal to me. One day, I'd had a severe bout of flu and had been burning up badly. The hoodie I'd put on had worsened my condition. I was desperate to leave the school as quickly as I could. So, I went to the nurse's office. Unfortunately, Ms. James had not been in her office at that time. Disappointed, I'd turned to leave the office when I suddenly bumped into Ava, my hoodie slipping off my head. I remember quite well the dazed look on her face the moment she saw me. I'd been really sick and I'd doubted that I would still look really good but, apparently I was wrong. I remember her gaping at me with a look of disbelief on her face.

She'd said, "How in everything holy do you have a face like that? Is that a mask? Cuz, I would totally get one. It's so cool!"

I remember feeling absolutely petrified and embarrassed.

"It's not a mask. It's my face" I'd replied, my limbs trembling like crazy.

"Holy shit. How can you hide such a pretty face? Everyone needs to see this face"

"N-no" I'd stuttered, my stomach sinking to the bottom of my shoes.

She'd grabbed my hand and dragged me to the hall.

"Guys! Check out this face!" She'd yelled, everyone's gaze falling on me. Unable to stand all the attention, I'd run out of the hallway and had hidden in the storage room for the rest of the day. I'd skipped school for the remaining weekdays only to resume school a week later. At first, I'd avoided Ava with every chance I could get. But, Ava was persistent. She started to wait for me by my locker and give me weird apology letters as well as expensive chocolates. Then something happened during homecoming.

Several Months Ago,

"You don't have a date for tonight, do you?" Minjun asked, straightening his bow tie. I shrugged, looking anywhere but at him.

"You don't have to feel bad about that. Even though no one's agreed to be your date tonight, I can be your date, beautiful" he said, wriggling his brows.

"Ew, Min! That's just gross!" I said and he laughed.

"Do you think I look okay? I really hope that Mia won't say that I look bad. She has a thing for fashion. She's too expensive" he sighed

"You're Lee Minjun. I don't think you can ever look bad" I said and he smirked

"Does that mean you find me attractive?" He said, still smirking.

I fake gagged instantly.

"Sometimes, I doubt the fact that you're really straight" I said, letting out a snort. He laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Only for you, princess" he drawled and we both burst into laughter. The truth about the moment was that I was trying to take my mind off the fact that I had a lot of letters in my locker- love letters from girls asking me to be their date tonight. It was unnerving.

Just as we stepped into the large hall, Ava's poshly accented voice resounded from the speakers.

"Kieran Blain, I've been wanting to say this to you for the past few weeks. I can't hold it in any longer. Kier, I really really like you. You're gorgeous, cute, funny and smart. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings the other day. I'm glad I bumped into you that day or I wouldn't have realized how amazing you are"

The other students cooed and started to chant my name. I was totally embarrassed and at that moment, I was completely clueless as to how I was going to handle the situation.

Ava stepped down from the stairs, a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

"Kier, will you be my boyfriend?"

My head spun as soon as she said that. She'd just put me in a very difficult situation. If I said yes, I would be playing along even though I didn't feel anything for her. If I said no, then I would be disappointing a whole lot of people and I would become the new freak of the school.

So, I went with the easy way out. I agreed and she kissed me right in front of the whole school. She'd stolen my first kiss! And I didn't know if I should be horrified or mad.

That day marked the beginning of our relationship. Despite the fact that she'd been the one who'd initiated our relationship, she stood me up several times when I asked her out. Since this was literally my first real relationship with a girl, my heart was very vulnerable. I started to fall in love with her. We are very much different. Ava is a very rich kid. She lives in a huge mansion with her dad who is the CEO of several companies. Her mother is a well known actress and Ava's the only child. She's proud and she has an ego as huge as mount Everest. She gets whatever she wants and I'm the opposite of what she is.

I was raised by my single mom since I was a child. We live in a crappy two apartment building. I had two school jobs which unfortunately became one after it started to take a toll on my health and I have to be the responsible one in my family since mum is always too busy getting drunk or getting laid.

I am too selfless to care about myself.

Even though Ava claims to love me, she's kind of distant. Anytime we actually go out, she always wants me to dress up the way she wants. It's almost like she's using me. But, I really don't mind. You would do anything for the one you love. I'm not surprised my mum actually likes Ava a lot especially because, Ava gives my mum a huge sum of money each time she visits.

It's very embarrassing. It makes me feel like I don't work hard enough to provide for my family.

".... Zoning out again? Dude, you've been zoning out a lot more than usual" Min says from the seat beside me.

I blink, looking around only to find out that the whole class is staring at me.

"Er-what's going on?" I whisper and Min smiles, shaking his head with amusement.

"Mr Peter asked you a question"

My eyes widen instantly.

"W-what question?"

"He's asking you if you're alright" he whispers and I immediately sit upright, clearing my throat.

"Are you okay, Mr Blain?"

I nod, a lump painfully lodged in my throat.

Mr Peter studies me for a moment before he continues teaching. Minjun nudges me and passes me a piece of paper. "From Ava" he whispers and I stiffen before turning to look back at Ava who's sitting three seats away from me. She has a pleading look on her face. I bite my lower lip and look away. She seems remorseful. But, is she?

I've been dating Ava for eight months but I still don't understand her.

I stare at the folded piece of paper for a second. Then, I unfold it and begin to read the short note.

I'm really sorry for acting the way I did earlier. Let me make it up to you. Ice cream date on Saturday? My treat.

I miss your smile already, Kier.

I force out a small smile and crumple up the note quickly. I feel like we're just going around in circles. We fight, we make out. We fight, we make out and it's starting to get to me. I love her too much to lose her. She's my first love and I want to always believe that she loves me too. As soon as the bell goes off, I rise to my feet and make my way out of the class. I head over to P. E with uneasiness still resting heavily on me. So, I quickly hurry to the locker. Just as I'm about to grab some clothes from my bag, someone slams me against the wall, knocking the air out of my lungs. Three familiar jocks are now standing in front of me with a sneer on their faces. Patrick, Nolan and Josh, the school's biggest assholes.

"Look who it is. Pretty Kier" Nolan taunts and I clench my fist. My heart starts to pound a little harder because I'm starting to panic. I get shoved here and there sometimes, but I never react. This time, I feel a very strong urge to rip them apart and it's starting to overwhelm me.

"There's a new girl in school. She's mine, got it? Stay away from her or I'll fucking castrate you and mutilate your pretty face"

I grit my teeth and hold my breath until Nolan decides to let go of me and leave with his minions. I slump back against the wall and try to steady my breathing. My head feels clearer now and the tightening in my chest has vanished. I close my eyes and lean my head backwards.