Save yourself

"I should have known better, and now that we are finally back to reality, I see how much of a grave mistake I have made and I cannot help but feel really guilty, so guilty that I am lying to everyone and most of all betraying them." she said as she sighed and stood up.

"I really should have known better, I should have known myself and I am not the kind of person that can do such a dubious thing and not feel guilty." said Wura as she shook her head pacing up and down.

Mero did not even try to interrupt her, he said nothing at all, he only listened to her. He knew that she was more stressed from this than any other thing, they had barely settled in and she could not find a moment of rest.

"I am the worst human being in existence, not only am I betraying my husband, but I am also betraying my most trusted friend as well... sometimes I wonder if in the pursuit of your own happiness harming others is necessary?" she asked as she sighed and sat back down.

"Yes, I do want to be happy... everyone deserves to be happy, but if it is at the detriment of the happiness of others, then I would rather not be." said Wura as she finally looked at Mero for the first time since she had been talking.

Wura looked into Mero's gentle brown eyes. She had expected to see some anger, some annoyance, some exhaustion in them, and yet they were still as gentle as ever. The soft gaze he held for her never wavered.

"And I feel especially guilty for leading you on and making you feel as if I could give myself wholly to you when I cannot." she said her tone sad causing Mero to smile.

"I never for once expected you to give yourself wholly to me." he said as he walked closer to her and got on his knee in front of her and he held her hand in his.

"I of all people should know that I could never take your heart fully, your heart belongs to someone else and I am well aware of that." he said his voice soft.

"But I am just making you be frustrated, I say one thing and then I turn around and say another thing, I seriously do not mean to make you pass through such agony." said Wura as her voice was pained.

"And what makes you feel that I am going through agony?" he asked with a chuckle as Wura looked at him.

"I know what you feel for me, and I know how you are ready to sacrifice everything to be with me, but I just feel bad that I cannot do the same. The loyalty and love that you offer me... I cannot match the level of your feelings." she said.

"And who told you that I want you to match the level of my feelings hmm?" Mero asked softly.

"I of all people know just how many obligations you have to many people. You have obligations to the Kingdom, to the people, to your friends and most of all to yourself." he said.

"All I want is you... I want you to be happy, I want you to be loved and most of all, I want you to stop feeling like this, so stressed, so guilty." he said as he played with a strand of her hair.

"That is impossible Mero, I cannot, I can never be happy, I can never stop feeling like this. Maybe all these negative feelings will go away for a while, but they will certainly return because what we are doing right now is wrong and I know that it is." said Wura as she sighed and moved away from Mero's touch.

"Mero look... I want you to try to communicate better with Nora, or at least try to find out if your relationship has a chance to continue." said Wura as Mero shook his head.

"That is not possible Wura, you know it. I have no feelings for her, I do not love her, I love you." Mero declared sincerely causing Wura to sigh deeply.

"Then at least you should try to end things with Nora officially... she cannot keep on suffering like this with you avoiding her, if anything the least you owe her is a good explanation as to why you have been so distant as of late." said Wura.

"She is extremely worried about you, even though she does not tell me how worried she feels, I can see it, and I can feel it, you are hurting her with your behaviour." said Wura.

"I do not want to hurt you... neither do I want to hurt her, but you and I both know that I could never give her a valid explanation as to why I want to end things. I can never tell her the truth, so she would never understand and get the closure and acceptance that she deserves." said Mero.

"But behaving like this and avoiding her is hurting her more than you ending things ever will." said Wura.

"I honestly want to end all of this myself... I wish that I had never gotten myself into such a tight situation." said Wura as Mero looked at her with an unreadable expression plastered on his face.

"Then why do you not just save yourself from all this stress and guilt? Save yourself by ending things between us right here right now." said Mero seriously, Wura looked at him expecting to see a look of unseriousness, but he looked dead serious.

"Save yourself from all the guilt and all the shame and let us end things between us right now for the peace of others." he said as Wura shook her head.

He had no intention of forcing her to make a decision, but he truly saw no better way of escape right now than for them to put an end to their relationship.

"I never said that I wanted to end things Mero... never." she said hurriedly as she wondered if Mero was testing her to see her reaction.

"And I never said that I want to end things between us either... but there is no point that we continue in a relationship when you can never have peace." said Mero as he sounded serious.

"As much as I want to be with you, I love you too much to see you suffer, and I always knew that sooner or later we would have to come to the realization that our choices would inevitably harm others." said Mero as he stretched out his hand and caressed the side of her face.

"I am grateful that you even considered me while your heart belonged to another, and I can never hate you, I respect you too much, even more now than ever." said Mero as he smiled.

"You have such a kind heart, and you care about those you love dearly, and that is one of the things that I love about you so much." said Mero.

"All I want is for you to be happy, whether it is with me, without me or with someone else, as long as you are happy, I am happy, and for that reason if the way that things are at this stage is to difficult for you to handle then it is best that we save ourselves from the unnecessary stress." said Mero.

"I will break things off with Nora because you are right... I also respect her too much better than to hurt her feelings this way, so yes I will break things off with her as soon as possible, but take some time to think and reflect on what exactly you want, and when you are ready and have decided on your answer, I will be here, waiting to hear your decision." he said softly with a smile as he stood up and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Wura just sat there unmoving her breath steady as she blinked. Mero had just unintentionally presented her with one of the hardest decisions she would have to make.

She knew that his intention was to give her peace and a choice, but in all honesty, she just felt even worse now because deep down she knew that she did not want to lose Mero's affection... his love.

She felt so selfish knowing that she did not want to lose his love while she could not love him completely, she felt like such a hypocrite.

She genuinely did not know what to do, or how to feel sincerely.

Wura let out a deep, heavy sigh as she laid her head on her desk, she could not help but feel as if she was letting everyone down, especially herself.

"What do I do Wura?? What do I do?" she groaned to herself feeling helpless and most of all unworthy of being placed in the position of making a choice.