12. Chapter 12

Tea with the ladies of the house was a bright affair with much laughter.

"He would send Benedict to dance with me any time another man came within ten feet of me." Daphne said with a laugh as she bounced Auggie on her knee. "It was a nightmare! I could have cheerfully killed him."

"You see, Bon?" Kate said imperiously as she took a sip of her tea. "It could be worse."

"I don't know." Edwina replied thoughtfully. "I seem to have a lot of Bridgerton dance partners these days. Perhaps the Viscount is giving lessons?"

"Oh, you poor dear!" Daphne exclaimed, laughing as Kate glared at her sister.

"Dances with you are simply an apology for having to dance with me." Kate said primly before turning to Daphne. "I'm not a particularly strong dancer. I'm too used to leading."

"I never seem to have any complaints."

The ladies turned to see Anthony and Simon enter the room.

"Perhaps my brothers are the poor dancers." He continued, sitting next to her as Simon took his seat next to his wife.

"Perhaps you are just better at avoiding, my Lord." Kate replied, smiling at him. "You did say you had much practice with your sisters."

"Anthony!" Daphne exclaimed, reaching over to smack her brother. "Surely you didn't imply that I am a poor dancer!"

"I am." Eloise chimed in from where she was talking to Edwina. "Frankly, you should never let me dance, brother. Simply to protect your fellow man, of course."

"You're a lovely dancer, dear." Violet called from across the room where she sat, locked in conversation with Mary and Lady Danbury. "Nothing you say will get you out of dancing next week."

Eloise grumbled and sank further into her seat, making the other smile into their cups.

"I rather think Kate's level of competence with Lord Bridgerton has more to do with her level of distraction." Edwina said blandly with a wicked look in her eye.

"Bon." Kate hissed, glaring at her sister fiercely.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Clearly you and Lord Bridgerton enjoy your sparring. And it, in turn, takes your mind off dancing, Didi! Why, whatever did you think I meant?"

Kate muttered at Edwina in Tamil, but her sister just serenely drank her tea. Anthony looked at Kate curiously, but she studiously ignored him.

"What language was that?" Simon asked. "I don't believe I've heard it before."

"Tamil, your Grace." Kate replied. "It's my mother tongue."

"It sounds so beautiful." Daphne told her. "I wish my grasp of languages was stronger. I'm passable in all the fashionable ones, but I'm not particularly fluent."

"I have a gift for languages." Kate replied. "My father had to deal with people from across the world in his position as secretary to the Royal Family. When he would learn a new language, he would then teach them to me and I, in turn, taught them to Edwina."

"Kate is better than me, though." Her sister interjected. "She is truly gifted when it comes to languages. She used to help Appa when the Maharaja would need a translator."

"I now understand how you can be so at ease around the Queen." Anthony commented. "Clearly she is not the first royal you have dealt with."

"The Royal Family were kind to us." Kate said simply. "We were of an age with the Raja and Rani and were allowed to form friendships with them and share their tutors. We are grateful for their friendship and support."

"There was a time we thought the Raja might offer for Kate, but he married the daughter of another Raja." Edwina told them gleefully.

Anthony felt rage rush through him at the thought of some foreign prince marrying Kate before he ever had a chance to meet her. The idea that he may have never met her seemed inconceivable to him.

"You and Mary may have believed that, Bon." Kate said with a shake of her head. "Appa and I never had such thoughts, I assure you."

"He did favor you, Didi." Her sister protested.

"Princes do not marry the daughters of secretaries." She replied in a tone that said they had had this conversation before. "Only in stories."

Anthony was desperate for a subject change. He would give anything for any other subject.

"Where exactly has your ferocious beast run off to?" he asked, making a production of looking around. Kate turned to glare at him and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I have sent your devoted follower into the loving care of your youngest siblings." She told him. "Since you have so utterly failed in your duty to provide a companion for your dear sister, I have graciously allowed her to take charge of Newton while we are in residence."

"Oh, I've failed in my duty?"

"Utterly, my Lord."

"My 'dear sister' is a hellion who is probably plotting to steal your animal as we speak."

"Well, she would not have to kidnap poor Newton if you would bow to common sense!"

"Poor Newton?! That dog is a menace, and you know it."

"Newton has never done anything wrong in his life."

"Are they always like this?" Simon asked as Daphne watched with clear delight.

"Yes, your Grace." Edwina answered brightly.

"You should have seen them at Ascot." Eloise added.

"Speaking of Ascot," Kate said, abandoning her defense of corgis everywhere for this new subject, "you still owe me my winnings, my Lord."

Anthony grinned at her.

"So I do." He got to his feet. "And it just so happens that your present is here at Aubrey Hall. Miss Sharma?"

She took his hand with no reservations as she returned his grin brightly, letting him lead her out of the room. Simon and Daphne rose to follow, but Edwina and Eloise begged off, returning to their debate on philosophy. They followed Kate and Anthony to the stables, amused as the other couple bickered the whole way. Kate finally realized where they were and stopped, confused. Simon and Daphne hung back to allow Anthony his moment.

"Why are we here, my Lord?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Come with me and I'll show you." He taunted, boldly taking her hand once more and pulling her forward.

He led her to a particular stall and moved to stand behind her. Inside was a beautiful, large chestnut mare.

"I don't understand." She said softly, turning slightly to see his face.

"This is Isis." He replied, his voice just as soft. "She's yours."

Kate gaped at him.

"My Lord, you can't!" she protested. "It is too much!"

"It's really not." He told her. "I have been waiting for someone worthy of her and I cannot think of anyone more worthy. Besides, you've already raced her brother, Osiris."

"She's your mount's sister?" she questioned sharply and he nodded.

Kate turned back to Isis and Anthony could tell she was beginning to relent.

"I thought we could race again tomorrow." He whispered, his breath warm on her neck. "Care to see if you can best me again, Miss Sharma?"

Once again, he was so close. He always was invading her space like no one else ever had. Before she could think better of it, she leaned back so she was pressed against his chest. She felt him inhale sharply and every place they touched felt like it was on fire.

"I think you'll find, my Lord," she told him, her voice low and breathless, "I never lose."

Every fiber of Anthony's being wanted to wrap her in his arms, to press a kiss to her neck, before turning her around and kissing her until they were both breathless. Instead, he stayed exactly where he was, knowing just how close his sister and her husband were and took a breath.

"Prove it."

Kate's eyes snapped back to his, fiery at the challenge.

"Tomorrow, then." She agreed. "Isis and I will do just fine, I am sure, but I should get to know her, don't you think?"

With that, she pulled away and Anthony felt his body following her before he made himself stay still as Daphne and Simon joined him.

"Kate's going to ride Isis?" Daphne asked, surprised.

"Miss Sharma now owns Isis." Anthony corrected. "She won her fair and square."

"Your brother perjures himself most egregiously." Kate called from where she was stroking Isis's neck.

"No bet I could have placed would ever cover the price of a horse such as this, but I find I don't care because I have fallen in love. Isn't that right, my gorgeous one?"

Anthony studiously ignored the other couple's gazes as Kate continued to speak to the horse.

"My Lord?"

Anthony turned to find a footman at the door.

"Lady Bridgerton requests you return to the house to ready yourself for dinner."

He nodded and turned back to Kate.

"I'm afraid you must abandon your new love until tomorrow, Miss Sharma." He told her, enjoying her pout tremendously. "My mother bids us to dinner."

Kate sighed and pressed her forehead against Isis's briefly before returning to Anthony's arm.

"Thank you." She said, leaning into his arm as they headed back. "She's gorgeous."

"I'm glad you love her." He replied warmly. "I could not have parted with her for anyone who could not truly appreciate her worth."

Kate blushed and ducked her head. They were quiet the rest of the way to the house, but it was comfortable. Anthony had never been as at ease with a woman before, not even Sienna. When he was with her, he didn't have to be anything other than himself. He knew in his soul that he could never let this go. He could not lose her.

He loved her.

He had always thought he would be terrified by that thought, but, somehow, he knew she was worth the terror and that made it less scary. As long as she was there, he could face anything.

Next to him, Kate's mind was spinning out. This didn't make any sense. How could he be serious about this? He was a Lord, nobility, and yet when he looked at her it was like she was all he could see.

Like he loved her like she loved him.

She was terrified. Every moment she was with him, he dug himself deeper into her heart until there was no room left. All there was was him. She needed his smiles like she needed to breathe, his steadiness at her side like a bulwark in a storm. She needed him and it was the scariest thing she had ever experienced.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs to the guest wing, he lifted her hand to press a lingering kiss to it that made her blood burn.

"Until later, Miss Sharma."

"Until later, Lord Bridgerton."

He let her go and watched as she turned away, heading up the stairs. Before she disappeared, she glanced back and smiled softly, waiting for him to return it, before turning the corner. When she was out of sight, he turned on his heel and disappeared into his study, leaving Simon and Daphne staring after him.

"Well." The Duchess of Hastings said finally. "This will be an interesting two weeks."

"Yes, it will, my dear." The Duke agreed.

Before dinner, Kate took a moment to walk in the gardens by herself. Her emotions were in total turmoil. She couldn't begin to comprehend what was happening. She had come to England with a plan, to marry off Edwina and protect Mary. She never once considered she would feel this way, that she would want to stay.

"You look pensive, Miss Sharma."

She turned to find Lady Danbury behind her.

"I am just thinking of everything that's happened since I arrived from India." She told the matron. "I had a plan."

"Plans change, Miss Sharma." She told her. "That is not a failing."

Kate shook her head, taking a shaky breath.

"I don't know how to do this." She whispered.

Lady Danbury motioned to a nearby bench, and they sat.

"You are a young woman, Miss Sharma, no matter what you seem to think." She told the young woman. "Do you enjoy the Viscount's company?"

Kate nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Do you think you could love him?"

She nodded again.

"Then do not let your fear push him away." The matron told her. "Anyone with eyes can see how much he esteems you."

"But this was to be Edwina's coming out." Kate protested. "I cannot take the attention from her, not for me."

"You believe your sister would begrudge you a marriage of love?" Lady Danbury questioned incredulously.

"I believe that I have spent years preparing Edwina for this." Kate replied. "This is all she's dreamed of for years. I will not take that away from her."

"Have you told your sister of the Sheffield's requirements?"

Kate shook her head.

"I don't know how." She admitted. "I've lied to her. How do I tell her that?"

"It will be worse if she falls in love and then finds out." Danbury shot back.

Kate nodded sadly and Lady Danbury sighed.

"You have put yourself behind your mother and sister for years." She told her. "You need to decide if the Viscount is worth putting yourself first. If you love him, do not let him get away. In our world, that is incredibly rare, and it is worth fighting for."

"Why do you care, Lady Danbury?" Kate asked. "You offered to shepherd Edwina, not me."

"I abhor anyone wasting their potential." She told her. "You are strong, intelligent, and capable. You could be so much more than a governess. Something more than what the ton believes."

Kate was quiet for a moment.

"I don't want to hurt Edwina." She whispered. "I don't want to let her or Mary down."

"I think you don't give them enough credit." She replied. "And if you finding love means their disapproval, then they are not the women I believe them to be, and I am rarely wrong." She was quiet for a moment. "Your mother asked too much of you in the wake of losing your father. You should have never had to fill the role you took on."

"I did what I had to do to make sure they survived." Kate protested.

"You were a child, Miss Sharma." Lady Danbury shot back. "Your mother was grieving, yes, but that doesn't mean you should have had to be mother and father. You should have been allowed to be a child."

Kate stayed silent.

"If you decide you don't want to stay here, that you want to go back to India, no one will stop you." The older woman told her. "But do not let your fear drive you to do something drastic against your own interests because you feel like you owe it to someone."

Kate nodded and subtly wiped away a tear. Lady Danbury reached over to pat her hand before standing up.

"Dinner will begin soon." She told her. "I shall see you in there."

With that, she left Kate alone with her thoughts.