Heaven Is Destined To Be Away With Land

Silence. You will hear nothing but deafening silence that's enveloping every corner of the living room... I broke the awkward silence and spoke. "Mom, Dad how are you?"

"Are we going to have grandchildren now?" My eyes widened at what my parents had said. My cheeks immediately heated and I could not look at Felix because of shame.

"M-Mom--" She didn't let me finish my sentence.

"Felix can you give us some time. We just have to talk to our stubborn daughter," my mom sweetly asks him. Felix nodded and gave me a smile before he left.

"Mom, you know that Felix and I are just frien--."

"Aren't you thinking? So you're saying that you will not give an heir to the two powerful clans?! Huh, Angelie?"

I just avoided their gaze and did my best to stay silent as my brows furrowed at irritation. They can't force me on doing something I don't want. I followed them when they said that I needed to get married so that our company would not collapse. I think this is the time for me to follow myself. Like Adair, I also do not want to have children if I do not love my son's future father romantically. I do not want my child to grow up and see that even if his parents are in the same house, even if they are in the same room sleeping, you still can feel the great wall that stands between them.

I should never have been in this house and married someone I just loved as a friend if only Dad hadn't had a heart attack when I refused to marry Felix. Even if I'm stubborn sometimes, I still love them and care for them. I don't want them to get hurt.

As soon as I arrived from another country and when I saw Nathan studying to become a priest I planned to become a nun and leave the business that my parents would pass me on. I know that what I will do is very selfish but I realized that all the things that my parents gave to me are the things that I never ask for and wanted.

Nathan is the only one, he is the only one I want but I know that I have no right to show myself to him and begged him to come back to me because he is taking the right path. I did not show myself to him before because maybe he did not visit me when I had an accident so that he could prevent himself from coming back to me. Maybe, being a priest is his task before I came to his life. So I learned to just look and admire him from afar.

"Angelie don't be selfish! This is for you and our company! And think also about Felix! You will not give him a child even if it's your responsibility as his wife?! You're a useless daughter and partner!"

"Mom, I never wanted the company, I never wanted to be my best friend's wife." I beggingly looked at them, hoping that they'll somehow understand me but when I look at my father I was shocked I saw him clutching his chest as if in pain while gasping for breath.

"Dad!" I immediately head to him as tears start to form in my eyes. "Dad." I looked at my dad, confused about what shall I do.

"Felix! Help!" I heard my mom shouted. Felix immediately ran towards us and carried my father towards the car. I followed them, still shocked by what's happening. I'm about to enter the car but mom stopped and left me with words that shattered the whole me. "If something bad happens to your father, don't expect me to forgive you. If I only knew that you will grow up like this, I would have aborted you while you were still a blood in my womb," she said that with emphasis and disgust in her voice.

I cried. I just cried and cried. This is the second time that dad was hospitalized and Mom still wouldn't let me visit him. I understand why and that is because I am always the reason why he is there and suffering. I couldn't even make them happy. Mom is right. I'm useless and worthless.

I immediately grabbed the car key and ran into my car. I turned on the engine and drove it quickly while crying. I just drove it until I got to a very familiar place. In the park where Nathan and I first met. I covered my eyes with both hands. If only he were here...he will do anything just to make me stop crying.

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I slowly opened my eyes and was surprised to see that it was getting late. I immediately stood up but I looked at the floor when suddenly a cloth fell as I stand. A jacket... I picked it up and smiled when I recognized whose jacket it was. I scanned my eyes around, hoping to see him but I did not see any trace of him. I secretly smiled as I put the jacket on myself. I was about to leave but my eye caught something in my seat earlier. I picked it up and noticed the sticky note attached to it. 'I really hate to see you cry'. I smiled bitterly. It is indeed that the greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.

Nathan's POV

I am here in the park while playing the guitar and looking at the sky but I was horrified when I heard a woman crying.

"There's a ghost there." he pointed the park that is filled with wild grasses and trees. "Some said you'll hear her cry every night."

"Yes. My Aunts even said that the ghost was raped during the Japanese colonization and is still looking for justice."

"No, it is said that her son was killed in that area so she also hanged herself on one of the trees. I wonder which of those trees"

I remember the stories about this park when I was a child. I slowly looked to either side of me to make sure there was no ghost sitting next to me. Is this the ghost that some are talking about? The ghost that cries her pain every night but... it's only noon. I gulped as I felt the hairs on my nape raise. I should fear no one because I'm with Him. I slowly and silently stood up to not disturb any spirit but I was stunned when the crying suddenly stopped.

Even though I was nervous, I still looked around and my nervousness immediately disappeared when I saw the woman with a very angelic face sleeping. I chuckled silently because for the second time, I have mistaken her again for a ghost. I approached her and knelt to remove the tears that had escaped her eyes. She cried. I hate to see her tears of pain. I took off the jacket that she gave me on our anniversary and put it on her like a blanket. I just stared at her as I started to strum the guitar. I never thought that Felix would allow the woman he loved to cry. He is her husband, he should be taking care of her because if I'm in his place...

~ Can we go back to the days our love was strong?

Can you tell me how our perfect love goes wrong?

Can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they used to be

Oh God give me a reason

I'm down on bended knee ~

I watched her as the wind pulled away a few strands of hair that clung to her face. I took the milk that Asher had gave to me and placed it next to her and then I wrote on the sticky note and placed it to the drink. I kissed her forehead before I walked away from her.

I sat down in the part where she could not see me and started strumming the strings of the guitar. (IT IS A FILIPINO SONG ENTITLED HANGGANG DITO NA LANG by TJ Monterde. Translate it in English if you want to know what it means.)

~Akala ko'y habangbuhay tayo

Akala ko'y hanggang dulo

Kay haba pa ng kalsada

Dito na ba tayo bababa~

I watched her as she slowly opened her eyes. What I did make her smile. A genuine one. I miss that smile...

~Mga nakasanayan

Dapat ng kalimutan

Upang di tayo magkasakitan~

I watched how she took her car key from her pocket and how she got into her car to leave...again.

~Hanggang dito na lang

Hanggang dito na lang

Ikaw ba ang nagbago

O ako

O tayo

Baka tayo~

I was just looking at her car as she drove away. I never thought that every time our paths will cross, reality will always show me how heaven is destined to be away with land.

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*•.¸♡ 𝐊𝐚яу𝕝 ♡¸.•*/ KaAyRaYaLa / WomanOfLetters