CHAPTER 14: REGRETS AND CONFUSION.
MAYA.
It did not take too long for Hossein to get to where I was after I shared my location with him thankfully. It's late November in Nigeria and the dry season had started creeping in which means we would have to bid goodbye to rainfall soon, so obviously being out here in the early hours of the morning in nothing but thin clothes from the previous day would've been nothing but a death wish.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I despise cold weathers which is why hoodies are my go-to clothing whether it's raining or the sun is up amidst Mrs. D's protests of course. (Sighed) The thought of Mrs. D brought back the events of last and I shrunk deeper into the car seat with my face buried in my hands.
I am left alone with my thoughts as there's nothing but absolute silence in the car as Hossein drove us home and I couldn't be more grateful to him for not turning up the radio.
I fucking hate how my fuzzy brain gets when I drink.
Damn it!
I can't fucking remember what happened between Andrew and I last night.
Why couldn't it have been Hossein who found me?
I would have been just fine with the whole of my memories from last night gone considering everything that happened upon my father's arrival which was clearly the reason I set out to drink in the first place. However, my plan was ruined by Andrew once again.
Fucking Andrew!
Why is it always him?
Right from the moment he barged into my life. It did not matter if I was having a good or bad day, Andrew was always at the center of it. He would always find a way to throw himself into my life without a warning or permission and I'd always managed to shake him off knowing that he's just that kind of person but I can't seem to do that this time.
After all, none of it had been this serious.
Not like this time.
None of it had been this intimate.
Argh...I'm so freaking confused about about everything.
My head feels like it might explode if I think any harder about any of this.
"What are you going to do now?"
"Huh?"
"About your father" Hossein said looking at my warily and I sighed.
"Honestly, I don't know" He managed a little reassuring smile as he kept driving saying...
"That's okay, take your time"
This is the kind of person Hossein is. Kind, caring and thoughtful to a fault. I know he wants to know about everything that happened last night, where I ran off to and where I spent the night even though he might have already gotten some of the details from Andrew. But he's more concerned about how I'm doing and this is how he shows it.
Not the regular 'are you okay?' or 'why didn't you call me last night?' you'd often hear from people whenever something happens.
I have always hated how every individual somehow manages to make other people's misfortunes about themselves instead of just being there for someone in the way that actually counts.
Like, why should I care about how you'd feel if I don't call to tell you my whereabouts when it's me who just got my heart broken?
Did it ever occur to them that calling them in that moment would be the last thing on anyone's mind as they try to make sense of what they're going through?
When my Mom died I was too young to understand most of what was happening but I knew for a fact that I'd never see her again. How could I not know she was gone? She was long gone from me, from this earth even before she finally closed her eyes that day at the hospital and never opened them again no matter how loud I'd called for her.
Everyone at her funeral acted like they'd never been where someone died before. Some didn't even know how to act around other adults talk more of what to say to a little kid who had just lost the only parent she knew.
Some wanted to know how I was holding up. (Scoffs) As if I knew what that meant. Some of them kept offering me snacks and talking to me in baby voice.
Bitch I was six for God's sake!
There was a kid in my daycare that lost both his parents in a freak accident or something and had some strange people come with a weird looking woman that had a clipboard to take him away to his new home one day in school as our teacher asked us to say goodbye to him when they took him.
Other kids kept saying nobody would come for him ever again because he didn't have other families.
So the whole time I was thinking What's going to happen to me now? Am I going to be sent away like those other kids who got sent to strange places because they didn't have families? Would anyone come for me?
Why does no one ask you that?
How you're going to continue living now that you're all alone?
Why does no one ask you if you miss them?
Why does no one ask how warm it felt when they hugged you?
I'd accept that than to be pitied.
I remember thinking it'd be great if my dad showed up then and took me away. Thinking back now I would have been the happiest kid on earth had that happened really. Maybe then I wouldn't have found out later that he actually left mom and I for his new family.
"Hello... earth to Maya!"
"Huh! Did you say something?"
"Yeah, I did" Hossein replied chuckling softly.
"Sorry, I'm little out of it as you can already tell" I apologized sheepishly.
"Its fine. I just wanted you to know we're home"
"Home?"
"Yes, home. We're at your place, Maya" Hossein said slowly and I looked through the windshield actually spotting the familiar flower plants surrounding my building.
"Oh!" I echoed dumbly.
"Thanks for picking me up, Hossein. I really appreciate it" I said sincerely and he waved dismissively.
"It's no problem at all. You know I love road trips. Just say the word and I'll be down to drive you anywhere anytime. On a second thought, maybe not this early next time?" I couldn't help but laugh as he spoke feeling a bit better than before and I nod in agreement.
"I'll keep that in mind" I said to him.
"Good! Go on then" Hossein said as he nods urging me to go inside and I walked away only turning to return a little wave as he watched me disappear into the building.
"Maya Fucking Jones! What the actual hell?" Came blaring through my phone the moment I picked Sasha's call and I ripped it off my ear before I lose my hearing.
Author's Note.
Another chapter up guys!
Enjoy!!
See you in the next chapter.