Chapter 173

The arrival of Private Varali served to guide us more directly and immediately to our goal, and her continued presence among the garrison has been positively impactful, especially for the youngest and least hardened of our soldiers. If I am to be removed from command, I do request that her enlistment, though earlier than typically permitted, remain valid. After all she has been through, I do not think that her parents' hopes of her enrollment in the Red Abbey are feasible.

-Report from High Colonel Mualtir di'Thnufir to the Synod after the return of Lierthan's cohort. 

[Varali POV]

"No matter what I said or how I explained it, they just wouldn't listen to me! We can't let those worthless beasts live another day, not after–" Varali's voice caught as she ranted at her little companion. After struggling against herself for a moment, Varali forced herself to continue, "after what they did to Mom and Dad. To your Mom and Dad too! They're monsters, and they need to be slaughtered to the last!" 

At the last words, Varali kicked a nearby dead branch, but it didn't crack satisfyingly as she'd wanted it to, but merely bent and Varali found herself getting even angrier as nothing. went. right! Sparks flickered to life around her as a testament to her strength in Flamespeaking and the depth of her frustrations, and Varali growled a string of curses to herself as she continued stalking along as fast as she could manage. To her chagrin, amusement, and frustration in equal amounts, Fen began to parrot back at Varali her curses in her mind before adding her own, both more childish and somehow dirtier than Varali's.

Gutter slurper! God-loving butthole! Toenail clipping eater! Orphan diddler!

That last one… brought no small amount of believability to Fen's insistence that she'd been an orphan living on the streets of the Godless Hordes's capital of Harandal, and what she said about what the orphans could suffer at the hands of a corrupted and evil adult was enough to turn Varali's stomach. A deluded deer, special or not, wouldn't have those things ever cross their mind. 

Unfortunately, Varali herself knew nothing about Harandal, so she couldn't ask any real questions about the city to verify further truths. Again and more keenly than ever, Varali felt the loss of her wise, educated, powerful mother. Her kind, understanding, and even-tempered father. Before she could fully lose herself in her mourning, though, she slapped her cheeks and refocused on her present path and circumstances. She'd learned over the past several days that Fen could understand words that Varali thought to the deer, but talking was better, more natural. Even if Fen couldn't herself talk out loud. 

I'm sorry. I wasn't strong enough to convince them.

Varali barely held back the screams of frustration that threatened to bubble up within her throat. Instead, she allowed herself to stomp further along as she took several deep, calming breaths. "No, it's not your fault. You're just a baby, so I would have needed to convince them, not you."

But my new magic [Skills] didn't do anything! They're supposed to be super cool and powerful, but those boneheads still didn't listen to anything you had to say! They're stupid. STUPID!

And again, Fen descended into a litany of her swears, and again, Varali couldn't help herself but feel a smile begin to crack her face and tug at her lips as she listened to her companion's foul mouth. As the little feeling of happiness began to rise unbidden in her heart, Fen's voice suddenly changed.

I like it more when you smile. You smiled a lot when you caught me, and I think that smiling and laughing is better than crying and screaming.

The little fawn was prancing alongside Varali, her bronze scales glinting in the afternoon's suns' light. When she spoke of happiness, Fen leaned against Varali's leg and nuzzled the human. With her pleasant feelings brought to the forefront of her mind, though, Varali felt her spine stiffen and she continued walking, though more woodenly than before. "Don't you miss your parents? Do you not mourn them? Or are you too stupid to even remember them?" Varali regretted it as soon as the stupid thought left her mouth and unwittingly stopped in her tracks. Fen took the caustic words remarkably maturely as she stepped in front of Varali and began to speak.

Well, in my past life, I never knew them. Mighta died, or mighta just left me cause they didn't want me. Dunno, and don't miss them. But these ones? I only knew them for a little while. Might as well have been strangers. But they died for me, trying to let me escape. They put themselves in the mouths of those keelish to try to save me. So yeah, I remember them. They're the only people in the whole world who have ever looked out for me like that. I cried over them, and I'm sure I will again. If there's a life after this, and I figure there is since I'm here again, I hope that they can see my tears and how much they meant to me. I also hope they see me laugh and jump and grow and live. I hope they see that their sacrifice lets me live a good life, not a sad one.

Fen, the tiny fawn with huge eyes, looked up at Varali with severe honesty as she spoke. The little face seemed to age as she finished, and though the tone of Fen's mental voice remained that of a cheeky child, Varali felt the weight of a life already lived in those words. Then, after Fen's little speech, she leaned forward and nuzzled her head against Varali's knee. Initially, Varali choked over the words, but she forced herself to speak.

"I'm sorry Fen. I knew that what I said was stupid, but I couldn't stop myself." Then, with her apology completed, Varali changed the subject. "So, we're going this way, and that's so we can meet up with whoever it is that the town sent the windword to. I think maybe Stonestep? I'm not too sure though, so we'll have to figure out if they've passed the word on. I'm sure that we'll be able to convince someone there to come and kill all these keelish before they kill anyone else!"

Sure, sounds like fun! But first… catch me!

Then, without another word, Fen darted off through the trees, following a small game trail away from the thoroughfare that they had been following thus far. With a force of internal effort, Varali didn't scream at the flighty deer and instead tried to find some small part of happiness within her. After all, she would soon find someone to come slaughter the entirety of the keelish, and then her parents would be avenged. Maybe then she'd stop seeing their dead bodies in her dreams.