This selfish world

Phoula, went over in his mrithi's stead, to see his highness. The summons had come early that morning and without further ado, he had complied, hoping the emir has good news for his clan.

His family are currently outcasts, enduring the jibes and the insults even though they rank seventh, or last, on the elite nobility list. Still, they are a part of the great seven families representing all of pure nobility in Maicki.

They had fallen so low now.

He wouldn't honestly blame it on Aairah. Truth is, the neutral party is always the most hated sometimes. And his family is just that-neutral. They strived never to take sides no matter what. And now that they have fallen, people confidently call them hypocritical and cowardly. All the other families do. The Alkali clan, the clan of clans, the Fillo clan, the Taha clan, Mambi clan, the Baggara clan, the Yusuf clan and the Abdulaziz clan. Even the Queen's clan, the Bini clan, are way below theirs. If Aairah marries the emir, she might not be anything much in the way of power, but her children will still have purer bloodlines, if her mother wasn't Ghanian. And now, because of that slight, the purity will depend on which son born, has more resources.

He had to wait more than three hours to see his highness. The wait, deliberate or circumstantial, didn't faze Phoula. He would not die in peace if his family keeps sinking in the mud. Seeing the emir is mercy in itself. Some might call it a privilege now. He has no idea why the emir wanted Aairah, despite the shady murk surrounding her at the moment, but he prayed hard it doesn't go away. It's the only reason his highness would see the member of a smuggling clan-truth or not. At least, never this soon.

The Emir fixated a look on Phoula from a giant chair in his office. So he had decided to see him here and not the throne room. Perhaps there is really hope for his clan.

For the longest time after the greetings, the Emir just remained silent. And Phoula is afraid to talk. Everyone knew his highness is tolerant to those in his favor. Otherwise, he might not care how this meeting ends. It's is always better to sit in the side of caution. So he tried not to fidget as he awaited why he has been summoned.

Finally, the emir said "your Mrithi saved my life the first year I was made emir. Did you know?" He asked.

"No, your highness" Phoula bowed respectfully.

"I shall review the necessity of repaying the debt if your family moves to the Sultanate" he stated.

Phoula had thought of several reasons why the emir would do this. But moving to the sultanate just never occurred to him. Ever!

"Your generosity is enormous your highness. We are thankful and greatful too, your eminence. May you live long in health and contentment" he stated in gratitude he suddenly didn't feel. The Sultanate is the Taha clan's dormain. That unbearable clan would make them targets regardless of why and only Allah knows what would happen.

"Of course, a good reward would be fitting if the life is a good one. More so, if all the members of your family enjoyed their stay, without feeling the need to pack up and leave. It would please me greatly if I am aware of any discomforts that might have proven to be cause" his highness looked away to gaze at the wall length glass behind him, gazing down at the fields with children running on the grass, playing football. The queen lets children in the neighborhood to play football once a week. He likes to watch their guileless innocence as they made merry with a round object for glory. He likes to think it builds nobility in them.

"It shall be as you wish" Phoula bowed again. In his mind, he wondered at his highness's words. Of course it's easy to read between the lines.

His highness wants the family to work on forgiving Aairah and making her happy again. He would reward them if he knows who was threatening Aairah and making her want to leave Maicki. He was as clear as he could be by not spelling it out for him. But why does he think that Aairah is being threatened?

Is that why she left?

Phoula has been dismissed. So he left.

....

How life run in circles! Aairah thought.

Actually, she didn't know what to expect from her family. But the warm welcome came as a pleasant surprise. She felt touched that they had received her with open arms. After the threats the elders had thrown over her head, she felt better now that no one was trying to judge her.

What they cannot hide is the questions in their eyes, the confusion that someone like her had the nerve to turn down an emir. She can see it as clear as day that they don't understand her reasoning.

She overheard Maami confiding in Daddy that maybe she was cursed to hate the emir so. Daddy didn't believe it but had asked Maami, the first wife, to let the thought die a natural death.

Aairah sighed. She guessed it's easier to blame a curse than believe she was capable of placing the entire family in jeopardy for her own selfish interests.

Aairah had lived in fear those few days. It's the most excruciating one week of her entire life. She just couldn't keep still. She keeps having nightmares during sleep and in her mind when awake. She would envision her mother lying in a pool of blood. The thought breaks her heart every time. She had begged her father to let her go to her mom but he wouldn't listen. He vowed she has left home for the last time and the next time she leaves, it will be to go into her matrimonial home.

Aairah cried bitterly and every day, she calls her mom and tried to assure herself that she is being silly. Well, until the third week when she called her mom and someone else picked it up.

"Next time, it will be death for the seventh clan" a muffled voice chilled her with a threat well served.

Aairah felt her hands grow weak. She didn't know at which point the phone had slipped from her hands. She felt a swishing noise in her ears. It felt like she could hear her blood flowing in her veins. Like her heartbeat is announcing its powerful rhythm in her mind...

"La haul a wala kuwwata.." Her tongue whispered zeroing in her mind to fall in line. The du'ah felt so strong, it jarred her mind to a sudden stop. And then the news slowly begin to sink in.

All these while, her body was shaking badly and tears were streaming down her lids but she didn't know. She just didn't feel anything at all outside the noise in her head. And then she grew numb.

Someone held her in their chest, asking something. She looked at the person and saw Maama. She couldn't concentrate. She saw her lips move and heard her voice ring but she couldn't make any sense of it.

There was one thought in her mind.

Mother, it's your time I know. And I believe in destiny. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to take this too.

The days ensuing proved the most difficult for Aairah. She tried to be strong. But her heart shattered each time she considered the death, the cause and the remifications.

Her uncle and Aunt had raised her and both of them died, forcing her to come back to live with her city family in Raome. Then Aaidah died too. And now, her mom has died too. The house is full of people. But it felt empty to Aairah. She had hoped she would bring back her mom, reconcile her with Daddy and have her close.

When you live in a polygamous home like theirs, it's more than just a little testy. Aairah is used to living as an only daughter. But now, she has to live with so many people. People, in her opinion, who care for her but just didn't know her long enough to form an attachment to her. And now it's impossible.

Mami is always kind but she was always rpoving to be the woman who tolerates everybody else. Aairah respects her but she could not bring herself to love her. Her aunt had loved her so deeply that she could recognize love anywhere. And she couldn't take less.

Maama is always going with the flow. You just can't trust her. Aairah has nothing against her but she just never feels at ease in her presence. It doesn't help that she is a big part of why her mother had left in the first place.

Her sisters are trying not to give her accusing stares but it's hard, she could see it. Her brothers all just walk away. Like no one wishes to indulge her. Like she is a criminal with an immunity and they could do nothing but avoid her which stung.

Aairah prepared her mind to live life alone. She didn't even see her mother's corpse. Daddy wouldn't let her leave. And no one really cared for her mother. No one in the house grieved. Not even Daddy. They were all shocked and they felt sorry for her. But they just can't fake deep rooted sorrow. It was just polite to pay condolences.

And that had hurt more than anything.

...

The emir is throwing a ball to celebrate their family very next week after they return. It's going to happen at the Royal palace in honor of her father, for protecting the life of the emir during his first taste of an assassination attempt after he assumed the throne years ago.

It came as a shock to everyone, even her father, she suspects. But it didn't matter if it happened or not. The emir says it happened. So the exile was lifted. Now the ball will serve to tell the world that the emir wishes them well. It's always better everyone follows in on his footsteps.

Her family arrived in Maicki just a little after dark. The Abdulaziz clan welcomed them with open arms. They celebrated over a feast prepared before their arrival and the atmosphere is merry, affecting Aairah's mood considerably. It was bad. She couldn't stop the tears when she is alone. It means everyone is happy and her mom is dead.

Aairah was given a room all to herself. She lamented on how kindly the family is taking her case despite the disappointment and ache she has caused everyone. It was one of those moments that she feels a huge weight pressing her chest because it was all too overwhelming. Mother's death, and now this. Surely, they don't think she would believe they would just forget what she has caused the family behind fake smiles and kindly gestures. There has to be a catch.

Mami, Daddy's first wife, is graciousness personified. She was all smiles and niceties which Aairah taught was overdoing it a little. Maama, the second wife, couldn't stop fussing over her. The clothes, the belongings she had long forgotten and God help anyone who didn't kiss the ground she walks upon, she was a complete beast.

Her sisters were weird enough. But the extended family is acting so strange they have Aairah spooked to her core. No one liked her that much. They used to blame her for causing them undue worry because her mother is a foreigner. And now, all of a sudden, when they should hate her guts, they suddenly like her?

The act is almost too much for some though. And they just continued to avoid her completely.

Aairah hated the acts almost as much as she hated knowing they would never understand.

She was still reeling from these events when the ball came around. She has declined shopping for suitable apparel to wear to the ball because she wasn't going. No one asked her to go which means they would stop her from going if she had wanted to go in the first place.

Upon their return, two of her sisters, Rufaidah and Atika, ambushed her in the toilet the very next morning. They look fierce and serious.

Atika closed the door while Rufaidah closed the toilet seat and pushed Aairah on top of it so she could sit down. Thereby, looking up at them.

They want her to know they were in control. She was pretty surprised by their attitude seeing as they too were among those trying to avoid her whenever possible. What was she saying, they were quite rude at times when they know Maama wasn't watching.

"So?" She raised a brow in question.

"When are you going to suck it up and marry the emir?" Atika, the most open minded person Aairah knows, asked with so much exasperation, Aairah just stared at her. She guessed it's time people begin to demand her acquiescence.

"You did not know what happened yesterday at the ball!" Rufaidah exclaimed.

"That obnoxious Bini clan are savages! They think they can step on anyone just because they produced a queen! Maddening!" Atika exclaimed bitterly.

"Daddy was very much insulted! The salacious Mrithi of theirs openly ogled Ya Atika and had the nerve to offer Daddy his 'good intentions' about making her his wife! That disgraceful human being is older than daddy!" Rufaidah cried.

"Older? He could very well give birth to Daddy I am certain!" Atika fired angrily.

"Well, that too, I suppose. With all that white hair and wrinkles, I can't even guess his age" Rufaidah concurred.

"The queen blessed the marriage Aairah. She almost gave up Rufaidah too joking that our clan is so popular that night!" Atika growled.

"She was so smug I wanted to punch her!" Rufaidah shouted in her anger.

"Daddy wasn't given face at all. They preened with stupid pride that their daughter brought so much blessing to them"

"Thereby hinting you could not have done the same thing! It was just a small insult compared to the many Daddy suffered in their evil clutches!"

Aairah could already get what had happened from their angry exclamations. She sighed inwardly. They are just feeling it hard because they are only just back from another country. The clan must've suffered worse fates while they were away.

"Where was the emir?" Aairah asked, suddenly very interested.

"He didn't appear last night. He sent a representative" Atika seemed upset. "If he was there, he would've protected our family honor" she hissed.

"I don't understand why he didn't come! He was supposed to be there to show the world that Daddy is back in his favor. No one would've taken us lightly then" Rufaidah cried.

Aairah is done listening. She got up and sighed. "The emir didn't come because obviously, Daddy should fight his wars himself. He cannot stop people from calling us cowardly if all we do is whine. Marrying the emir will not solve our problem. Even as his wife, the queen can marry anyone she likes. What would I do? I have no power" she explained gently. Like she is talking to five year olds.

"Yes but you can ask the emir to intervene!" Rufaidah is getting desperate.

"I am sorry she has to marry a bad old guy Rifaidah. I can't marry the emir to fight your wars" she frowned.

"Is that all you can do? What kind of a daughter are you? A sister?!" Rufaidah shouted with angry frustration.

Aairah ignored her and came out of the toilet and into the room.

"People like you are the reason we are called cowardly! You ran away rather than own up to your responsibilities. And now you want to play dead when the integrity of our clan is put to question! How selfish can you get?!" She roared.

"Just let her be. I thought she was better than this" Atika held Rufaidah, stopping her from hitting Aairah in a mad dash of sparks.

Aairah did not speak. She let them go before she wiped the tear in her eyes. Her mother had died but other than the condolences they offered on the first day, no one cared to ask her how she felt. They went off to a party and get insulted. Now they wish to blame it on her too.

Aairah is fed up with this selfish world.

She lie on her bed and thought hard about her situation. And she knew that the only thing she would do to hurt the queen as much as she hurt, is to marry the emir. She would pretend to like him to let her know the last person she would give her life for, is dead and that her death, has just served to make her invincible.

Death of the seventh clan? Pfft! Aairah has secrets too. Secrets keeping some very bad secrets. Her five years away weren't just waste.

She wants to see how far the queen will take this if she knew that Aairah knows the dirty linen in their skeletal closet!