One fine day! Fine day because I was drinking since 7 am in the morning

I was paranoid as it is always for everyone who is into addiction. I wanted to marry this wonderful girl who belonged to a rich family from other caste. I am from a decent family myself and if we would have been of same caste, may be it would not have been a problem to get married. Who would have thought that it would be an issue for a so called successful person like me?As a small introduction, I am a post graduate in Finance and Management from Southampton, United Kingdom with a job of Financial Analyst in a major bank of Dubai, sorry ex-job and a salary enough to feed5a family of 10. I have been in relationship with this girl from 5 years, so everything looked pretty easy but social norms are not subject to your success specially if you doubt yourself. Addicts go extreme in every situation. Either we will doubt ourselves or we would be super over confident about our abilities. There is unfortunately no grey area for us. I was into alcohol addiction since last 7 years or so at that time and did not wanted to get married. I consider myself a logical person and I believed that alcohol is a problem for me, which I need to get rid of, if I want to keep this girl happy after marriage. I was most insecure about the baby we will be blessed with, if we get married. What future will a child of an addict have if the father dies in early age?Rehabs in India are seen as utmost disgrace and a person visiting it is seen very low by the society so I had a discussion with my girl about what I think of and though she loved me, she immediately said yes for a rehab treatment. This was actually the first sign of how much she was fed up with my drinking. I get this now,but I did not really think of it much when she said yes in a Nano second. I thought she really wants us to have a blessed married life, but who knew. Anyways I got excited for the rehabilitation centre as it was becoming a fashion at that time. All the celebrities and bigshots were rehabilitating their lives for a better future.I was a young lad who pictured rehab as an excursion trip with detoxing juices, spa, swimming pools, exercises, personal care takers and so much more. Well, that picture was about to repainted with blood.One fine day! Fine day because I was drinking since 7 am in the morning, I decided to get admitted to a rehab. "Wow what a life, I can do anything, anytime, anywhere." Well that was the alcohol speaking.I did not even think that I have come on leave from Dubai and I will have to return to work in next 7 days.Eventually a bottle down, I passed out in my balcony face down. I woke up and the thought of rehab was nowhere, a new brilliant idea just popped up - Buy more booze. I went down the apartment - 4 floors,trembling in my slippers, pyjama and a face of a tired ox. Stopped a rickshaw, got on and said Theka (Wine shop).Took a bottle of Whisky, 4 beers (super strong), a pack of cigarettes and a quarter of vodka. Back to rickshaw I gulped down the quarter neat and tidy to stop the shivering. Back to my house, with my mom's eyes filled with tears and a silent humble message of don't drink more. Ignorance is a bliss isn't it. I went in, put up my head phones and the madness starts. Song after song and shows after shows, I was down by 3 beers and half a bottle. I felt comfortable to drink in my room's bathroom because pee pot was near and I can comfortably sit on the head rest of my bathing tub with a cigarette in my hand. Eventually I heard my Dad shouting from outside. I looked at my empty water bottle to top up my next drink but it was empty. To escape unnecessary conflict, I poured up a large and filled it up with my shower. Gulped it and back to music and dancing in my bathroom fantasizing all kind of powerful glories that I will never be able to witness. Gradually I passed out in the empty bathtub with an empty belly to be followed by a bad hangover tomorrow.Next morning, I woke up covered in my piss,phone screen broken and my head with a bump. I managed to pull myself out of there, hoping for my Dad to have already left for office, I walked to the fridge and grabbed the last beer. Shivering like hell I drank half of the can without realising my mom is standing behind. I turned around ashamed and with a face of a hurt puppy, I grabbed my wallet and went to buy more drink. After reaching the shop at 8 am I realised that the shop opens at 10 am. I could not have waited for 2hours but afraid to get beaten up I did not knock the shutter of the shop. These kind of unwanted and artificial fears usually occur to every addict when he is right between unconsciousness and reality. I managed to secure booze from a nearby fruit seller for 3 times the money I would have paid if I would have waited merely 2 hours.After reaching home I locked myself back in the bathroom. Soon I was half a bottle down and now I was in, what we addicts' call GREAT SENSE. I searched for rehabs near my house so that I can easily get discharged and come back whenever I feel like drinking. I called them enquired like a well behaved London graduate. They told me it's a love and care program that they follow, which was actually going to make a lot of sense once I stepped inside. Able to seethe bottom of my last drink I had no courage to getup and go for more booze shopping. So I called up my friends and told them that I want to go to a rehab right away but only if they got me a quarter of Whisky first.My mom surely overheard that. What can a dear mother do except of sitting outside the door of his dieing son and hoping to just hear some noise from the closed room, to ensure that he is alive. She packed up my bag and got ready. My friends arrived and got me in the car and my mom in the backseat.Ignorance, I made my drink in the car lit up my cigarette with my mother in the backseat and finished it just before we reached the hell hole. I got out of the car kicked the door of the rehab with full power, my leg went right through the plastic cover on the door and I fell. My friends picked me up, angrily. In the meantime, the concern people of the rehab came rushing.My friends and mom talked to them and went in to see the rehab while I was made to wait in the car with no keys in the ignition. One of my friend returned and asked me to come in. I put by hand gently around his neck and went in. The garden they had was in a mess,with 3 big dogs.Suddenly a person grabbed my jeans from behind and lifted me high enough to just have me on my toes. I looked back all aggressive and the alcohol power came back. I punched him and he fell down to the ground. The owner of the rehab came out, eyes swollen, fat, old and semi-bald with 3 other men. Now you see no matter how powerful you feel after drinking, you know you can't take on 5 guys together. Well this thought was long gone after 5 years down the lane when I was beaten up by a mob of countless people. Anyways I went into his office screaming at everyone that they themselves look alcoholic and junkies. I did not even spare the owner, trust me. They had some word with my mom and friends and then calmly came to me.They asked me to see the vicinity and decide if I wanted to stay. I agreed as I was being treated like a king.Only to find out that they handle tens like me everyday and they know how to get their work done. I went in through a narrow dark gallery, along the way I saw a broken work out machine, people working in the kitchen and a big black door with heavy bars that looked like they were designed to hold up dangerous animals. I went in and heard the sound of the car starting and sound of the song I was playing when I was sitting and waiting in the car. The song immediately was muted and the sound of car was also gone. Realising what just happened I ran back only to get into the caretaker of the rehab who pushed me down to the ground.I got up threw a punch at him, missed it, gathered some more power and swung a slap, got his face this time. 4guys rushed towards me. Now I thought that they must be approaching to facilitate peace and break us up. Yes!an addict thinks all sort of things quickly which are up to his benefit. However, when they came close, they attacked me together, with 2 of them swaying the belts at me and 2 with big strong wooden rods. The attack lasted for around 45 seconds.Unlike movies the fights are not really a 10 minutes' stint. Mind you, 45 seconds are more than enough to knock down Mike Tyson. They then picked me up and took me to a bed. After 30 minutes a person came in with a plate of food and told me to eat. I told him to connect me with my mother. He smiled and said "I am also stuck here and I haven't spoken to my parents from 53 days since my admission." The whisky just vanished and I realised the seriousness just by looking into his eyes. He told me that if I don't eat at least2 rotis they were going to beat the hell out of him. I don't know what came in my mind, I had 1 chapatti to save him and unable to eat the other one, he told me"It's fine" and that he understands. He took the second chapatti and put it in his underpants. Walking out, he looked back at me as if he was trying to say that don't tell anyone. As soon as he left I laid down on my pillow without anything to cover me. Thinking of what the hell did I land myself into. I just dozed off in between the oozing tsunami of thoughts and reality I got myself into.